


Nobody's Baby

by TriplePirouette



Series: Nobody's Baby [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cliche, F/M, Steggy Week 2k20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 97,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriplePirouette/pseuds/TriplePirouette
Summary: She’s the only woman in camp, so she must be qualified to take care of a baby, right?Written for Tumblr's Steggy Week 2k20 Day 2: Cliches.
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Series: Nobody's Baby [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985159
Comments: 412
Kudos: 372
Collections: Steggy Week





	1. Out of the Hydra Lab

**Author's Note:**

> For Steggy Week ’20 on Tumblr Day 2: Tropes, Clichés, and Symbols. Cliché: She’s a woman, so she must know how to take care of a baby. Set sometime after Bucky’s death in CA: TFA. I would pay to see the two of them from the time period of CA:TFA with a Baby. There are SO many options of how they would act, and SO many of them are in character. If anyone else wants to take a crack at this idea, or knows of a story that already exists, PLEASE send it my way. I LOVE Baby!Fic. 
> 
> This has also grown out of my control. I will continue to work on it, not sure how long it will take because I'm *not exactly sure* where it's going...

Peggy Carter stuttered as the bundle was dropped into her arms. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

Dugan shrugged, lifting his gun back into his grip as another explosion went off in the hall and the baby wailed. “Hell if I know.”

Peggy shifted, letting the blanket settle into her arms, the whimpering baby’s reddened eyes peeking out at her. “I don’t…”

“We don’t have time to discuss.” Dugan put himself between her and the sound of gunfire as he pushed her out of the Hydra lab. “I have the bigger gun, you’re less likely to drop… it.” He gestured toward the crying baby as he turned, pushing her down the hall. “We get out, then we can talk about how sexist I am, ok?”

An explosion from below rocked the foundation and Peggy curled around her ward, stopping to catch her balance. “Believe me, you’ll be hearing an earful.” She started moving quicker, following Dugan’s bowler back and forth through the corridors as the building began to shake harder. “How far to extraction?”

Dugan stopped short at a doorway and tipped his head, but the voice she heard was Steve’s. “Right here. Hurry, they set the self destruct.”

She turned into the room and was met by the sight of Steve’s red, white, and blue form straddling a hole in the wall, waiting to escort her into the darkened forest beyond and to safety. He held out a hand, waiting for her to take it. She gripped her bundle tighter instead and took small steps around the rubble as Dugan fired more shots from the door behind her. “You’ll have to steady me,” she nearly had to yell, “I’m afraid I have my hands full.”

Steve started to ask what she’d found, but didn’t need to when a loud wail came from the rough brown blanket in her arms. He steadied her hips as she stepped over the rubble and waited until Morita was able to reach out and steady her before he let go and turned his attention to pulling Dugan through the wall and out into the night.

*~*

Their ability to move stealthily was always their greatest asset as a team: it had saved them more times than they liked to count. Peggy shushed the baby in her arms, trying to keep whimpering from turning into full blown cries. The men had formed a circle around her, and their eyes were set tight on the darkened woods around them. The noises the baby made turned them vulnerable, no matter how quietly the rest of them could sneak under the cover of the trees.

“How far out are we?” Peggy whispered, knowing someone would hear her. “The little one’s hungry, and needs a new nappy.”

Steve let his steps slow until he fell back next to her, the men closing ranks around them without a word having to be said. He kept his eyes on the trees as he locked step with her. “About 3 miles. Close enough we should be safe, but far enough that we’re not taking any chances.”

Peggy swore under her breath then turned down to the child who squirmed in her arms. “No, not you. I wasn’t cursing at you.” She shifted the baby then held her hand out to Steve. “Rinse my hand with your canteen?”

Steve snuck a look at her as he did as asked, watched as she tried to clean her fingers best she could with only the one hand. As he put the canteen back she reached her clean fingers to the baby’s mouth, smiling in delight when the baby latched on to her pinky, suckling away. His eyes returned to the trees as he gripped his shield tighter. “Where did you find him?” He paused, thought again, “Her?”

“Don’t know yet,” Peggy whispered, happy to let the baby suck at her pinky as long as it was quiet. “It was in one of the laboratories, laying out on a metal exam table just in its nappy, screaming to high heaven. Dugan and I just grabbed it and ran.”

Steve was going to ask another question when the baby pushed Peggy’s finger away, whimpering as she tried to get it to latch on again. “Perhaps we better double up, it’s not going to stay quiet for long.”

Steve took longer strides and slid back to his spot at the front of the group, his pace quickening as everyone matched him. “You heard her, guys.”

*~*

Peggy was just finishing with the nurse when Steve joined them in the back of the tented infirmary. “She’ll probably fuss tonight,” Nurse Stephens, a mother herself many times over, said as she handed the baby back to Peggy. “You keep feeding her like this and I’ll see if we can find something better.” The nurse passed Steve on her way out of the tent, nodding to him.

“So it’s a her?” Steve fidgeted a bit, sitting on the cot next to Peggy as she dipped her finger back in the cup of milk before bringing it to the newborns mouth.

“Yes,” Peggy mumbled back, her concentration on the baby, “No more than a month old according to Nurse Stephens. Come on, little one. I know this isn’t ideal.”

“Almost like hand feeding a kitten,” he watched, mesmerized as she dipped her finger then brought it up to the squirming girl’s eager mouth, the baby’s eyes closed tight somewhere between concentration and crying.

“Not like the Army routinely packs bottles,” she dipped her finger and brought it up to the baby again. “Though a pipette wouldn’t be much better.”

“I’m sure she’ll find something.” Steve reached for the blanket on the cot and slid it around Peggy’s shoulders. “It’s getting colder out.”

“It’s late. Not that it matters much at the moment.” She finally looked up and locked eyes with Steve, noting that the strange look in his matched the odd longing deep in the pit of her stomach. The feel of his hands on her shoulders didn’t help. It felt strange, and domestic, and so wrong that somehow it felt right. He felt it too, because he dropped his hands like she’d burned him. “What did Phillips say?”

He didn’t quite meet her eyes as she picked up the rhythm with the milk again. “Just like you thought, baby’s yours until morning.”

“I’d swear but she might pick up on my bad habits.” Peg smiled as the baby opened her eyes at her. “Yes, yes you might my darling. And one foul mouthed woman around here is quite enough.”

Steve’s eyes shot to her as her tone changed from frustrated to light. “I can’t imagine there is anyone better to take care of her.”

Peggy laughed, letting the baby grab at her finger. “No? There are at least four women on this base that I know of that actually have children. Including Nurse Stephens.”

Steve leaned over, looking into the blinking blue eyes of the baby. “Maybe, but he made a good point. If Hydra comes after her in the middle of the night-“

“Protect her, blah blah blah.” Peggy finished with a sigh. “I know. I understand.”

“They’re setting up a special tent,” Steve stood as Nurse Stephens came back in, her hands filled with rubber tubing and droppers. “He wants me to stay with you both tonight. I’ll, uh, wait just outside for you.”

*~*

The “new” tent wasn’t much more than a reinforced storage tent that was hastily outfitted with a fairly clean cot and a mish-mash of furniture. “Who was in charge of decorating?” She asked, gently bouncing the nearly sleeping baby in her arms.

Steve laughed, looking at the open armory case that has been filled with blankets and strung from the ceiling so it could swing side to side. “Who do you think?”

Peggy gently swung the case then gave the ropes a good tug, trying to imagine the Howling Commandos stringing this contraption up. “I think none of those men know anything more than I do about babies.” She turned, handing Steve the duffel Nurse Stephens had filled for her. “Sort that on the desk if you don’t mind.”

Steve unzipped it and started laying out surgical draping, cloths, and pins into a makeshift diaper changing station. “It’s only oh-two-hundred. Do you think either of you will get any sleep?”

Peggy was already standing over the crude cradle, slowly inching the child toward it while trying to avoid waking her. “She’s gotten a record two minutes so far.” Peggy held her breath as Steve stepped over and steadied the case beneath her, letting her set the girl down in stillness before he let go and it began to swing gently. “I plan on taking as much as she’ll give me.”

Peggy shuffled over to the cot, sitting and starting to unlace her muddy boots. “What’s his plan?”

Steve turned a crate on its side and sat across form her, the baby swinging quietly between them. “A medical team will be here tomorrow to pick her up and check her out. Then…” His voice drifted off.

The implications of why a month old baby was in the clutches of Hydra were horrific enough, but trying to think out what they might have done, or were going to do and how they might need to protect her? That was a dark place indeed.

“Then we go back to picking off Hydra bases,” Peggy filled in, her voice as thick with emotion as Steve felt. She changed the topic as quickly as she could. “They at least give you a chair to sit on out front this time?”

Steve laughed, looking away from her. “Not quite. I think there might be a log.” He stood and walked over to the improvised cradle, looking at the baby.

Peggy shook her head as she looked up at him, her hands settling her boots at the foot of the cot. “You must be tired, too.”

“Not much.” He softened… his eyes, his voice…he could feel it and Peggy could see it. They’d stolen moments here and there. Managed walks around the camp perimeter when they could pretend she needed to brief him on one thing or another. He’d held her hand hidden by the bulk of his shield on the way back from missions gone wrong and kissed her behind the medical tent when the USO had everyone else occupied. He’d waxed poetic about what would happen when they would get home when she struggled to see anything but war and death in their future. But the baby swinging between them suddenly made things seem more possible; made her more hopeful. She wasn’t sure she could trust how much she liked it. It felt like years passed between them in the few seconds he caught her eyes. “I’ve got a few more hours in me.” He circled around carefully, crouching next to Peggy’s cot. “You get some sleep. Because I don’t know how to feed or change her, so I’m sure she’ll be waking you up soon enough.”

Peggy rolled her eyes, the softness broken with his humor for the moment, and slid further back onto the cot and slipped her legs up, leaning up on her elbow so she was nose to nose with Steve. “Just another job for the woman, right?”

Steve gently kissed her cheek, her eyes fluttering closed at the gesture he’d only made a few times. “I’d change diapers for you any day.”

Peggy returned the favor, her lips lingering just a second too long on his rough cheek. Words about babies of their own and him changing them longed to leave her lips, but she held herself back. “I’m going to hold you to that.” She leaned back away from him, pulling the rough blanket up over her. “First time that baby cries I’m showing you exactly how it’s done, and you’re up after that.”

Steve laughed as she shut her eyes, lingering by her bedside for a second before standing. He stepped toward the makeshift crib and gave it a gentle push, setting it swaying before he grabbed the crate he’d been sitting on and took up his sentry just outside the tent.

*~*

It was barely an hour before the baby’s cries broke the night. He heard the creak of the cot and Peggy’s soft shushing for a moment before the cries were punctuated by Peggy’s startled noises of surprise. Just as he was about charge in, Peggy’s head popped out of the flaps, her eyes wide.

“Be a dear and grab some more blankets?” She looked back in and grit her teeth, “And some cleaning cloths…and another canteen of water. Oh, and some bleach.”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Bleach?”

“There was an… explosion.” Peggy stuttered, looking back into the tent as the girl’s cries grew louder. “Apparently the nappy Nurse Stephens made was not a proper containment vessel.”

Steve nodded and turned on his heel, repeating the list to himself as Peggy went back into the tent.

*~*

Two hours later, they hadn’t been able to get the girl to sleep. They’d changed her, cleaned her and the improvised cradle, walked her, and fed her with Nurse Stephen’s makeshift dropper and tubing, and yet she was still awake, mewling and squirming and supremely unhappy.

Steve was pacing the tent with the baby in his arms, awkwardly trying to rock her without bouncing too much. Peggy was sitting on the cot, massaging her arms after finally giving the girl up to Steve. “I wish I knew what she wanted,” Peggy nearly whined, exhausted and upset. “She needs sleep just as much as we do.”

“No idea.” Steve turned on his heel and walked the length of the room again, “Bouncing only works so long, and patting her back only works so long… you could try singing again?”

“I only know the three lullabies and by her reaction to them she thinks I’m a horrid singer. And she’s not wrong.” She dropped her head in her hands, rubbing her eyes. “They were right to set us up all the way out here- half the base would be awake otherwise.”

She stood and met Steve, his pacing stopping as she reached into the small bundle. Peggy swept her fingers across the girl’s forehead and cheek, “Why are you so unhappy, little lady?” The baby turned into Peggy’s fingers, her lips rooting. Peggy sighed, pushing out her pinky and letting the baby latch on again. “Hungry again, I guess.”

“She’s probably famished, she can’t get much from that contraption.” Steve’s head tipped to the tubing that had been rinsed and hung to dry.

“No,” Peggy muttered, reaching out to take the girl again so Steve could set up the gadget in question while the baby suckled hard on Peggy’s finger. “I hope they bring a bottle with them, and some clothes. Poor thing.”

Steve listened as the soft shushes Peggy made as she spoke to the baby filled the tent as he set up her feeding. He didn’t look at Peggy as he let the words slip out of his mouth. “We should name her.”

He didn’t see the look of surprise on her face as she turned because he didn’t take his gaze off of carefully getting the milk into the tied off medical tubing while he pinched tight where Nurse Stephens had put the pinholes for the baby to suckle through.

Her voice was soft, surprised. “Name her?”

“She needs a name. So we can talk to her.” He knotted the end of the tubing and turned to Peggy. “She deserves a name in case…”

He didn’t have to finish it. Peggy just nodded her head. “In case.” They didn’t need to speak the scary part out loud. In case she died tonight. In case Hydra had done something horrible to her. In case they never knew what happened to her after tonight. In case she ended up in a laboratory again. In case no one ever cared for her the way they were ever again.

In case.

Peggy sat on the cot and reached out a hand, the baby squealing as she carefully took the end with the pinholes from Steve and slipped it into her mouth along with her pinky to keep the tube from collapsing shut as she suckled. Steve sat next to her, holding the tubing high so gravity helped them along. He looked down at her. “What do you think?”

Peggy took a deep breath, “I don’t know. I never thought about baby names before.”

Steve pushed the blanket away from the baby’s face. Even though they were trying to keep her warm her cheeks were still cool in the chilly night. “What was your mother’s name?”

“Amanda.” Peggy tipped her head back and forth, her nose scrunching up as she couldn’t quite see what the baby’s name should be. “I’ve heard other women say that I’d just know when it came time to name a baby.”

“Well, she’s not yours.” Steve flinched as soon as the words came out of his mouth. That skinny kid who put his foot in his mouth was still who he was, and he showed himself often around Peggy.

Peggy looked at him the same way she’d looked at him in that car all those months ago, back when he was skinny and she was half interested and half humoring him. “True, but as of right now I’d say she’s ours.” The baby pushed her finger out with her tongue, milk spilling over her small lips. Peggy shifted the girl to her shoulder, patting her back. “God knows how they were taking care of her at that base.”

Peggy struggled for a moment trying to get situated as the baby fussed. Steve reached over and shifted her hips, turning her a bit and settling her back into his chest so she could relax and lean into him. “This ok?” he whispered, unsure. Somehow this seemed more intimate than walks in the woods with wandering hands.

“Yes,” she whispered, melting into him more, letting her head fall back as she continued to pat the baby on her back. “What was your mother’s name?” She asked after a moment.

“Sarah,” he reached up and pulled a curl away from Peggy’s eyes and readjusted the blanket away from the baby’s face. He looked at the babe as she stared back at him, bright blue eyes fluttering open and closed as she fought sleep. “You’re right, though. I can’t tell who she is.” Steve dropped his voice. “Don’t stop, she’s falling asleep.”

“Oh, thank the lord,” Peggy whispered, not changing her tempo. Within moments Peggy could feel her shift to dead weight, her regular breathing loud in her ear and the baby’s milky drool soaking through shirt. “Please tell me she’s sleeping.”

“Dead to the world,” Steve whispered.

Peggy slowly let her rhythm slow, and eventually moved from pats to gentle rubs on the baby’s back. “I’m afraid to move,” Peggy spoke softly.

“Then don’t,” Steve said. “Just hold yourself up for one second,” he mumbled as he gently pushed her away. Steve swung around scooting back on the cot so he could lean on the support beam behind them and splayed his legs out on each side of her. “Ok, come here,” He reached forward and helped her slide into him, spooning her back into his chest, her head cradled just under his chin. “Comfortable?”

“Far too comfortable,” she said, adjusting herself and checking that the movement hadn’t disturbed the still unnamed baby. “Will you be ok against that cold post?”

“Just fine.” He brought his arm up under hers, supporting her and the baby on her chest. “Try to sleep.”

“Steve-“

“Sleep.”

She simply nodded, and moments later she was breathing slowly and softly as well.

*~*

Steve was fighting sleep himself when he heard the crunch of footsteps outside. Ten, fifteen feet away maybe, and not hiding their approach. He gave Peggy a shove, “Peg,” he bit out, sitting her up to slide out from behind her as her eyes flew open and she grabbed the baby reflexively.

He was on his feet with his shield in his hand by the time Dugan shoved his head in the tent, all business. “We gotta go, now!” Dugan’s voice was quiet but forceful.

Steve reached down and helped Peggy up by the elbow. “Grab her things!” She whispered at him, eyes wearily on the baby that was still sleeping as she readjusted her in her arms and slipped out of the tent next to Dugan. Steve grabbed the tubing by the cot and the duffel on the table, shoving as many of the blankets and diapering supplies in as he could without falling too far behind.

He jogged to catch up, tossing his shield on his back. “What happened?”

“Two Hydra strike teams were caught by patrols in the last half hour.” Dugan said, leading them at a quick pace to Phillips’ tent. “We got one young one to spill they were here for the baby. Then he clammed up.”

Phillips met them but pointed toward the motor pool and fell into step, taking over the briefing. “You’re going to rendezvous with an extraction team that will take you by air to Heathrow. From there you’ll get further instructions.”

“Further instructions?” Peggy snapped, the baby squirming in her arms as they reached a covered Jeep.

“That’s it?” Steve asked, stopping and watching as Phillips handed a paper with their route to the driver.

Phillips snapped his fingers at Dugan, who began to drop the tailgate of the Jeep and climbed up, slinging his gun over his shoulder. Phillips leaned forward so only Steve and Peggy could hear him. “Hydra’s known we’re here for months, then all of a sudden they send two strike teams in one night? They want that baby, and the fewer people who know where that baby is, the better.” Phillips straightened up, but didn’t increase the volume of his voice. “You two are to protect that baby by any means necessary, do you understand?”

They both clipped out a quick, “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Phillips pointed. “Now get in that truck and get gone.”

Peggy turned and looked for the best way to get in with the baby in her arms, but before she could take a step Steve swept her up and passed her to Dugan, helping her set her feet on the bed of the truck. Steve hopped in behind her and slammed the tailgate closed as Dugan pulled Peggy to the back to settle her as the truck roared to life, the baby’s wails full blown and barely drowned out by the engine.


	2. Travel Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy and Steve continue to move to keep the baby safe posing as a married couple. Howard Stark, and more cliches, manage to turn up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I HATE posting WIPs because inevitably I want to go back and change something I've already published or I'll find an error that needs to be fixed... but the only thing I hate more than that is not UPDATING my WIPs. The good (?) news is that from a small idea about one cliche, this has become a long, drawn out thing full of plot, fluff, and baby. The bad news is that it's going to be long and updates will be slow as I write and re-write.

Their rendezvous was in the middle of the forest, with an agent who apparently answered Dugan’s code correctly and drove a nondescript civilian car. The agent, an arrogant, blonde man named Thompson, handed them a bundle. “Get changed.”

One at a time by the cover of trees Peggy and Steve passed the baby between them and took turns changing into the civilian clothes they were given. There was even a small pink swaddle, blanket, and a fresh diaper for the baby. Peggy changed her as quickly as she could, wrapping her in the swaddle and then the soft grey blanket.

When she was done and stood next to Steve, she couldn’t help but feel some dread. She watched Dugan take Steve’s shield, their military clothes, and dog tags and hand him a pair of small, easy to hide pistols as he told him to stay safe. The feeling didn’t go away when she watched Thompson show Steve the pre-packed suitcases in the trunk of the car or when the Jeep and Dugan drove away. She and Steve were in fashionable traveling clothes, upper middle class London fashion, she’d say. It gave her little to go on and didn’t quell the feelings rising in her. Once they were settled inside, Steve in the front and her cradling the baby in the backseat, she spoke up, tired of everyone only talking to Steve because she was holding a baby. “I’ll take some more information, if you please.”

“I don’t know much,” Thompson said, driving faster than she was comfortable with along the dark back roads. “I know you’re going to the airport and taking a commercial flight to Heathrow.” Thompson pulled an envelope out of his coat and handed it to Steve. “Documents are in there.”

“That’s it?” Steve asked as he tore open the sealed envelope, pulling plane tickets out to examine them.

To his credit, Thompson kept his eyes on the road. “All I got. We should be there in just under an hour.”

It was only a few minutes before the baby started to squirm and squeal, making her hunger known. “Steve, where did you put the duffel with the tube?”

Thompson cringed as the baby let out a wail. “Check the glove compartment,” he tapped in front of Steve before putting both hands on the wheel to navigate a turn. “We woke up a local midwife. She’s the one that gave us the diapers and baby clothes. As we were leaving she asked if we needed bottles. I just said yes.”

Steve pulled out a bottle filled with what she assumed to be some sort of milk or formula. “Oh, thank god,” he mumbled, twisting to hand it to Peggy. “There’s another in here, too.”

Peggy sighed in relief and let her head fall against the seat cushion as the baby latched on hungrily. “That’s one win tonight.”

“How were you guys feeding her before?” Thompson asked.

Peggy let the sound of Steve’s voice soothe her as she let the men’s conversation fall to background noise. Instead, she honed in on the happily suckling sounds of the baby in her arms and tried to focus on anything except the adrenaline and the stress she felt.

The baby’s blue eyes locked on hers, so calm and satiated. The baby pulled back from the bottle for a second and Peggy could have sworn she saw the child smile up at her before attaching and suckling again.

*~*

* * *

The bottle was a godsend.

The poor thing had to be famished. She’d gone through both bottles by the time they reached the airport. Thompson waited impatiently while Peggy changed the baby’s diaper in the backseat and Steve fumbled through preparing the bottles again with the powder, water from a canteen, and the hastily scribbled notes of the midwife. He was shaking them furiously in both hands when Peggy finally stood, the baby wrapped tight against the harsh wind.

She bounced the baby who was cooing now that she had a full belly, the light from the rising sun right in her eyes. “I don’t have a bag, can you keep one in a pocket?”

Steve tried, but the bottle didn’t fit well anywhere in the grey suit he was wearing.

Thompson slipped his trench coat off and handed it to Steve. “It’ll be a tight fit across the shoulders, but at least you can fit the bottles in the pockets.”

“Thanks,” Steve said, slipping the jacket on and storing the bottles. Steve stepped to the back of the car and lifted out the two large suitcases Thompson brought. “For everything.”

Thompson just nodded sharply. “My pleasure, _Mr. Ryan_.” He took a nearly sarcastic bow, “Mrs. Ryan.”

Peggy smiled curtly at him, falling into step with Steve and moving away from Thompson and the parking lot. “How long until the flight?”

“Barely enough time to check the luggage and take turns using the...powder room.”

His stumble over what to call it made her laugh as they got close to the doors. “I’ve been barely five feet away while you’ve pissed on trees, Steve. You check the bags, I’ll find a loo.”

*~*

* * *

They made it onto the flight with a few minutes to spare and several angry looks from other passengers. They settled next to one another and Peggy gave the fussy baby another bottle as the engines revved up for takeoff.

Without a word Steve pulled the envelope of documents from his coat. Though he’d read them over twice already, Peggy hadn’t seen them. They twisted toward one another so that from the aisle it looked like they were cooing over the baby and chatting about travel plans. Instead, they were reviewing their new identities.

“Steven and Margaret Ryan? They couldn’t be more imaginative?”

“Short notice, I guess.” He shrugged. “Less chance of forgetting?”

She shook her head. “More chance of someone overhearing.” The spy in her was starting to emerge. There was an identity to learn and find herself in, and she had little to go on.

“It only had the plane tickets and this dossier.” Steve let the one sheet sit between them. “Married three years. First child. We were visiting family.”

Peggy looked him up and down, the grey suit he was wearing was flattering now that she could actually see him in it, and was a nice change from his standard issue and his stars and stripes. “Who is going to believe you were 4F?”

Steve looked her up and down, not hiding his appreciation. While she had a coat that covered much of her shape, the dark blue dress underneath was form fitted. “Who's going to believe you had a baby a month ago?” She raised her eyebrows but didn’t respond otherwise. Steve smiled at her and cocked his head. “Technically I was 4F. Five times.”

A slow smile spread across Peggy’s face, it was too easy to slide back and forth over that line that was appropriate with him on a normal day, playing at being married was going to be very dangerous territory. “Technically you were.”

The baby coughed, sputtering out milk around the nipple of the bottle. “Oh, oh dear.” Peggy handed Steve the bottle and sat her upright against her shoulder, patting her back as Steve pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of the trench coat and cleaned the milk off her chin. “We have to give her a name. Can’t get around it now.”

Steve let a finger trace the baby’s cheek as a small burp left her lips covered in milky drool. He laughed as he reached up to clean her off with the handkerchief again and she smiled at him. “Emily? Susan? Mary?”

“My mum, her name means, ‘deserves to be loved.’ I think…”

He didn’t hesitate. “Amanda it is.”

*~*

* * *

He was standing so still at the edge of the runway that she didn’t recognize him at first. Peggy didn’t think she’s ever seen Howard Stark that still, or his mustache so speechless when he noticed the bundle in her arms.

“Wow, you two work fast!”

He winced when Peggy ‘accidentally’ stepped on his foot. “So sorry, my balance is off lately.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and slid his foot away from her. “Not a problem, Mrs. Ryan, not a problem.”

Peggy looked for Steve in the mass of people; he was still trying to collect their luggage. “So you’re our transport?”

“’Fraid so.” He waved at Steve who was searching for them, a suitcase in each hand. “Let’s get off the runway and I’ll catch you guys up.”

*~*

* * *

Howard had pulled over in the secluded back lot of a small local grocery and he and Steve were going through the luggage. “We’ll need more formula, for sure. She goes through it like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I’ve got a running list.” Howard pulled out a small pad from his pocket. “Peggy mentioned diapers and at least one more set of clothes for her-“

Steve didn’t look up from the luggage, “Amanda.”

Howard couldn’t miss the small smile on Steve’s face, but said nothing. “For Amanda. How many sets of clothes are there for you and Peg?”

“Enough for a few days.” Steve shifted things back and latched the case back up. “No toiletries, though. Toothbrushes, combs, all that.”

Howard tapped the pencil against his lips. “Toiletries should be taken care of, but the baby items won’t be onboard. Those we have to find.”

Peggy slid into the conversation, carefully handing Amanda to Steve without a word. He took the baby and started smiling at her, astounded at how happy she was now that she wasn’t constantly hungry. “If you have some money I should be able to get most of what I’ll need for her from the grocery, and the owner should be able to point me in the direction of anything she won't have.” Howard ripped out the short list he’d made and handed it to her before he pulled his wallet from his pants and peeled off a pile of bills, giving them to Peggy without even looking pressed. “If you’ll tell me where we’re going, I can plan better.”

Howard shoved his wallet back in his pants and leaned close. “Ocean liner. Six day trip to New York.”

Peggy’s eyes widened even though her voice stayed quiet, her response visceral and immediate. “That is absolutely the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s up there,” Steve said sternly, his attention on them immediately.

Peggy stepped into Howard’s personal space. “We need to get her out of here, as fast as we can.”

Howard nodded, exasperated. “Exactly.”

Steve shook his head. “And a six day liner trip is your idea of fast?” He shifted Amanda in his arms. “With U-boats sitting in the Atlantic?”

“It’s my idea of hiding. We already took a chance getting you here on the first plane out of Germany. How many people are traveling for leisure right now? Almost no one. I can get away with it because I own half that boat and I’ve used it to cross several times now. In and out of a port isn’t suspicious for me on less than a day’s notice. But how many people are flooding out as fast as they can for asylum and safety on any flight they can get their hands on? A lot. They’re going to be checking every flight, every passenger manifest… every single fast way out of Europe they’re going to be watching.” Howard looked back and forth between them both. “They’re going to be looking at planes. Civilian, military, anything off the mainland because they know that we know we need to move fast.”

“And why would the SSR send a baby on an ocean liner when speed is the name of the game?” Steve chimed in. “Ok, maybe not the worst.”

Peggy tapped her foot, still riled up, “What makes you think they won’t be looking at you?”

He avoided the question, his lips pursed together tightly. “I promise, it’s as safe as you can get right now.”

Peggy crossed her arms and paced away from him. “I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I, but that’s why I’m going with you. You’re getting the largest first class room next to mine, only the best for my favorite ‘cousins’.” He wagged his eyebrows but it didn’t get a rise out of either of them. “Plus, there isn’t a single person on that boat we can’t account for. Chances of a Hydra spy are slim to none.”

“What?” Steve asked, moving to stand next to Peggy in a united front, “Do you vet everyone on board?”

“Crew, yes.” Howard shrugged. “Passengers, no, but…”

Peggy crossed her arms, defiant. “There are other passengers?”

“It’s gotta look like something, Peg. An empty ocean liner is more suspicious.” He held his hands out, pleading. “I promise you, if I thought taking you on a plane would be safe in any way, shape or form right now, I’d be piloting it myself.”

It was a tense stalemate as Peggy tried to calm the fight or flight feeling that was overtaking her. In the long seconds of silence she tried, and failed, to think of a time where Howard had steered her wrong. She took a deep breath and gave in. “What time do we set sail?”

Howard, let out a breath he barely realized he’d been holding and consulted his pocket watch. “We have two hours before we need to leave to make it to the port.”

“I’ll be back in one.”

*~*

* * *

The grocery had the formula Peggy needed and a sweet older woman at the counter who estimated she’d need way more diapers than she’d prepared for. The woman just laughed. “Must be your first. Believe me, they never dry as fast as you need them to.” Even though material was scarce, the woman helped her get a set of pins and cloths, and gave her directions to a boutique where she could get the clothes she needed.

Just before Peggy was ready to leave, she stopped short at the small display of cosmetics. She hadn’t been able to grab any of hers, and Steve told her there was nothing more than a few dresses, a robe, and a serviceable nightgown in the luggage. She wasn’t by any means vain, but she had a part to play and going about without anything on her face didn’t quite mesh with the story they were trying to sell. She grabbed a kerchief for her hair, a few more pins as she only had the ones in her hair at the moment, a serviceable powder, a tiny palette of pigments, a cake of mascara, and a lipstick that was as close to her favorite shade as she could find. She turned back to the counter, her hands full, and spent just a bit more of Howard’s money.

At the grocery her needs and cover story had been simple. They’d lost her luggage at the airport. But upon walking into the boutique and seeing the prams and bassinets and the soft little dresses, she thought she’d have a hard time leaving with any of Howard’s money left in her hands.

After their earlier conversation, she didn’t much feel bad about that prospect, either.

She settled on a sensible pram, not the most expensive in the shop but nice enough to go with the cover that they’d be taking an ocean liner to New York. Inside that she managed to fit the Moses bassinet she picked. It was little more than a woven basket with handles and a soft, pillowy interior, but Amanda needed a place to sleep that wouldn’t roll across the cabin when the bow pitched at night.

Picking out clothes felt like it should take more time and care, but Peggy had little time to spare or care, and she grabbed what she thought would fit in soft, solid colors.

She pushed the pram filled with her bags back to the car. The boys gaped when she came into view. “Did you bring any of my money back?” Howard wondered aloud.

“A few pence. All utterly necessary, I promise you.”

*~*

* * *

It was absolutely obscene how _normal_ this all felt: Peggy pushing Amanda in the pram, Steve at her side, a bag slung over his shoulder full of formula and diapers and two loaded handguns as they strode up the gangplank to the deck of the ship. Looking for suspicious things was second nature to her, so she was still able to marvel at the beauty of the ship as she scanned it for anything out of the ordinary. It made her feel like she was on vacation...

In the middle of a war…

Guarding a high value asset….

She felt like she was on vacation with her family.

She reached out a hand and found Steve’s without much more than one bumping touch. He laced their fingers and angled her aft, following the flow of passengers. They were quiet until they got to the front, where Steve had to pull the fake passports Howard had made for them out to register and get directions to their suite.

As soon as they were in their room and the door closed behind them Peggy felt claustrophobic. “This is a horrible idea.”

Steve pushed the pram farther into the room, wedging it against the bed to keep it from rocking. “It’s not that bad when you think-“

“U boats, Steve.” She turned and paced to him. “Submarines. I know you’ve heard the stories and seen the reports just like I have.”

He stepped to her, rubbing his hands up and down over her shoulders gently to help calm her. “I have. But I’ve also heard stories about them shooting down passenger flights, too.” He dipped his head to meet her eyes. “Why is this danger any different than the gunfire and explosive laden building we were in less than a day ago?”

She looked around, swallowing hard. “I can’t fight a torpedo with a handgun.”

He couldn’t help it, he laughed.

“Don’t laugh. It’s not funny.” She pulled away, pacing the small distance between the door and the bed. “In those scenarios we have control. We have plans-“

“Plans that go wrong half the time.”

“True,” she conceded, stopping to look at him. “But a plan and shotgun are something when you’re raiding a Hydra lab.”

Steve sat on the side of the bed and gently patted the space next to him. “You would be the one to look at a torpedo and try to shoot it.”

She scowled at him. “I’m not a damn fool.”

He took her hand and put it between both of his, pulling it into his lap. “No, you’re not.” He looked at her, serious. “You’re smart and prepared and not used to letting others be in charge of your life.”

Peggy could feel her frustration start to show itself as fear. “Perhaps.”

He untangled an arm and slid it around her shoulders, pulling her close to him. “Perhaps.” He could feel how she sagged against him, and felt a wave of drowsiness. He looked around the small room: one bed with high foot and headboards, a small table flanked by two chairs at its end, and two bedside dressers. There was even a small vanity built into the wall across from the bed. Across from him was a door he assumed was the bathroom, and not much else. It was all very clean and very plush and it was home for a few days. “We all need some sleep. Let’s get settled and maybe we can get a few winks in.”

~*~

* * *

It was an hour later, after they’d just barely set sail, that Howard knocked on their door, barged in without waiting for them to open it, and started waving what looked very much like a small wallet at the walls as he jabbered on about family reunions and long lost cousins until he’d made a full circle of the room.

Steve just stood and watched, the baby tucked in his arms, as Peggy ignored him and continued to go through their luggage to separate out their clothes into his, hers, and baby piles instead of the jumble that they’d arrived with before sliding them into separate drawers.

“Well, your room isn’t bugged!” Howard declared happily, shoving the contraption back in his pocket.

Peggy stopped, wide eyed, and tossed pair of pants at his head, hitting him square in the face. “We might have been bugged?”

Steve pulled the pants off of Howard so he could look in his eyes. “And you didn’t think to tell us?”

“Just thought to look, actually.” Howard rubbed his nose where the button hit him, “I did a sweep yesterday but you never know. Plus I couldn’t get down here any faster, had to make a good show on deck to keep up appearances that this is a pleasure voyage.”

Peggy stalked up to him, grabbed the pants from Steve, and hit him again across the chest with them. “You could have told us something!”

Howard rubbed his chest as he watched her stalk back across the room and fold the pants. “Well, doesn’t matter. Can we move on?”

“To what?” Peggy asked curtly, sliding the pants in the drawer next to her.

Howard sighed and looked at the bundle in Steve’s arms. “To what Amanda might be.”

Steve sat in one of the chairs, shifting the girl and holding out his hand to Peggy, which was immediately filled with a bottle for the whimpering baby. “What? Not who, but what?”

Howard leaned back against the door, staying away from Peggy as she continued to stalk around the room. “Yes, sadly ‘what’. We think she’s an experiment.”

Steve had to fight the impulse to cover the babe’s ears. “Experiment? Like me?”

“Not quite.” Howard turned, staring at Peggy’s busy hands as she tried to settle them into the room. His voice was tight and resigned. “Sit Peg, you’re making me anxious.”

She did as asked, knowing her friend wasn’t often prone to seriousness. She sat on the edge of the bed just behind Steve, putting her hand on his shoulder. Her voice was gentle when she spoke. “Tell us, Howard.”

“So, you know about Red Skull? Johann Schmidt? He was the opposite of Steve in every way. And that’s why Erskine’s formula worked on him the way it did and why it worked on Steve the way it did.”

“Good becomes great, bad becomes worse,” Steve muttered, keeping one eye on Howard and one eye on Amanda as she neared the end of the formula.

“Exactly.” Howard put his fist to his chin, pacing only a step back and forth in the small space. “About a year ago we captured a Hydra scientist. He didn’t have much to say, still doesn’t down in a hole somewhere near Paris under twenty-four hour guard, but he said one thing that got my attention when talking about you and Schmidt. He was just rambling on about good and bad and intention, and then he goes, ‘but if you start from scratch, there’s no good or bad to change the form.’”

“What does that mean?” Peggy asked as she stood, taking the baby from Steve and putting her over her shoulder as she patted her back to get her to burp. “That he was starting over with a new formula?”

“That’s what I thought at first,” Howard sat across from Steve, leaning his elbows on his thighs. “But why start from scratch when you know it works if you just have a good person?”

“He wasn’t talking about starting the formula from scratch,” Steve realized out loud, “he was talking about starting the person from scratch.”

Peggy looked between the men as she swayed with Amanda; they seemed to understand but she was far from it. “If you start a person from scratch you’ll inevitably get a good or bad person that will effect the formula.”

Howard reached out and let his fingers drift over the baby’s downy head. “Not if part of starting from scratch means the baby already has the formula in its DNA.”

As if confirming Howard was right, Amanda choose that moment to let out a loud belch, a mouthful of formula tumbling from her lips leaving Peggy scrambling for a cloth to clean them both up. “Wait,” she stuttered as she cleaned Amanda’s chin, “You’re telling me you think they… they _created_ her… with the serum in her, so that no matter how she’d grow up she’d be…”

“That’s the theory,” Howard stood and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and started dabbing at Peggy’s shoulder as a drip started to run down her back. “And it’s only a theory.” He eyed them sharply. “And one that less than five people know about in total, including you two.”

“A damn scary one,” Steve said sharply. He reached out and took Amanda from Peggy, cradling her close, while Peggy cleaned herself up. He looked down into her bright blue eyes and tried to comprehend what Howard was truly saying as he took in her small sharp nose and the tiny blonde hairs on her head. “To just… make her…”

Peggy’s hands slowed as she took in the intensity with which Steve was looking at the baby. Amanda was clean, as was she, and she laid the dirty cloth on the table to be washed later. “Howard,” she wondered out loud, her eyes drawn to Steve’s concentration, “How could they just “make” a baby?”

Howard, for his part, hadn’t noticed the shift in mood and started to joke as he folded his handkerchief to go back in his pocket. “Well, I thought you knew, but when a man and a woman love each other- ow!” Her punch landed squarely on his arm, and he rubbed it vigorously as he eyed her. “What? Why are you so violent today?”

She rolled her eyes at him and stepped to Steve’s side, “How do they get the serum, that no longer exists anywhere, into a baby?”

Howard finally saw the scrutiny that Steve was regarding the baby with. “Could she somehow be… part of me?”

“Well shit,” Howard ran a hand over his face. “I never got that far.” The room was silent for long seconds before Howard stood tall and emphatically announced, “No.”

“No?” Peggy held his gaze.

His jaw clenched. “I mean, I haven’t ever thought about it. About them somehow using Steve, that is. I always imagined they’d use Schmidt or try to recreate the serum, not Steve.”

Steve couldn’t take his eyes from the baby. “What does that mean, Howard?”

“It means I’m not really sure.” He started pacing, his hand bouncing against his thigh. “I mean, they’d have to get _enough_ genetic material to do something with.” Howard looked at him. “Have you…left… any... genetic material… anywhere about ten months ago?”

“Howard!” Peggy reached out, but missed hitting him again by inches.

Steve’s cheeks reddened. “No, nothing like…that.”

“Like that?” Howard asked, stepping farther away from Peggy. “What else would there be?”

Steve shrugged. “Could they use blood? I’ve spilt plenty of that in Hydra bases.”

Howard shook his head and resumed his pacing. “No, unlikely. It would have been too contaminated being on walls and floors and other people.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “We know they’re working on recreating Erskine’s formula, so I always just assumed they’d use a new version, or they’d use Schmidt as a sire.”

The three just looked at the small baby, blinking her way to sleep, completely unaware of the tension surrounding her and her parentage.

“Well, I’ve had about enough of this,” Peggy finally declared. She stood between Steve and Howard, hands on her hips. “We have five more full days, yes?” She continued when Howard nodded. “We’ve had barely two hours sleep in the last twenty four, and if today’s been any indication we’re not going to get much more than that tonight, either.” She tried not to be accusing, but she couldn’t help but stare at the baby that had somehow stolen her heart. “So we’re going to take a nap. All of us.”

Howard tilted he head, “All of-“

Peggy threw her hands up as she interrupted him, eyes shut tight with frustration. “In your own room, Howard! I don’t care what you do there.” She took a deep breath and smiled tightly at him. “We’ll reconvene at dinner for pleasantries, and tomorrow, once we hopefully have more than a few hours under our belt, we can start talking about what all of this means. Understood?”

Howard backed his way out of the room with a quick “Sleep tight.”

Peggy’s whole body sagged with relief when the door shut behind him. She took a few quick steps over and locked it, leaning against it for a breath before heading back towards the bed. “Sorry if that was too forward…”

“No, you’re right,” Steve lifted Amanda into her bassinet and then settled it on the middle of the bed. “We’re exhausted, and not thinking straight.”

“How much sleep do you think you’ve managed?” She asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and slipping out of her shoes.

“In the last 30 hours?” Steve started taking his button down shirt off, leaving him in only an undershirt and pants. “Maybe a half hour or so. You?”

“I think I managed three hours. A couple in the tent and then that quick nap on the plane while you held her.” Peggy looked at Steve then back at herself, then back at Steve before finally staring at the bed. “I’m taking off my dress,” she declared. She met his eyes, determined. “I can’t sleep in it and I’m sure they’ll throw us out of the dining room if we show up rumpled.” Steve just nodded, eyes a little wide. “It is neither an invitation nor… not… an invitation…” Peggy’s nose scrunched as she realized she lost what she meant to say somewhere in the middle of the sentence, a large yawn catching her by surprise.

Steve smiled lightly. “I get what you mean.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’m so tired…” She hummed in agreement, unzipping and slipping her dress off before laying it over the chair at the foot of the bed. Steve tried not to look, but he couldn’t quite tear his eyes from her satiny slip. He cleared his throat, “Mind if I take my slacks off?”

“By all means,” she replied, sliding into the bed and pretending to tend to the basket so she could catch a glimpse of him bent over, stepping out of the pants and laying them over the baseboard.

Steve hit the small button for the lights before sliding in on what he now assumed would be his side of the bed. The basket between them was cumbersome, but they’d agreed earlier that there wasn’t really anywhere else they felt safe leaving her, at least until they knew how choppy the ride across would be.

“Should we set an alarm?” he asked, looking at the small alarm clock that was fastened to the side table next to him.

Peggy’s voice was already heavy with sleep. “Our alarm is already set and waiting to go off between us.” She yawned again, “T-minus two hours until she’ll need a nappy change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus cliches in this chapter: Fake married and one bed! 
> 
> Also, I've done the best I can to do my research and put together a semi-believable plot for the time period. Boats DID cross when they weren't pressed into military service (though usually in a convoy), and flying was still considered a dangerous affair, as well. There's very little information I can find on that time period and civilian crossings either by boat or by plane, likely because it wasn't very common. I'm no historian and I've done the best I can based on this crazy plot my brain has come up with. Plus, it puts them in a small cabin for six days, so I think we can all suspend our disbelief a little. 
> 
> Steve and Peggy's Cabin is inspired by this 1940's ocean liner room: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/20/6e/16/206e16fe614500758e7aef2730cf71ba.jpg


	3. As a Concept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Peggy manage some time (mostly) alone and more new friends show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO HONORED at all the love this fic has gotten. I won’t lie, it’s been really fantastic. Not only has it been really rewarding to write this as it’s been a long (long) time since I’ve published anything, it’s been really heartwarming to get the reviews and kudos as other areas of my life are feeling really negative right now. Your love, comments, and kudos have kept me afloat this week especially. So Thank You from the bottom of my heart. I hope this WIP is giving you a portion of the joy you’re giving me. Also, this “long” story has turned into a monster. I’m MAYBE about halfway through and it’s 80 pages and 34,000 words. So much more is to come for you guys, including some actual PLOT, so please enjoy!

It was the door that woke them with Howard banging quite insistently and calling their names. Without looking at the time Steve stood and donned his pants, buckling them as he opened the door, and Peggy lifted Amanda from the bassinet, still in her slip but unable to dress and comfort the now crying baby at the same time.

“Howard! We said we’d meet you at dinner,” Steve nearly whined, squinting as the light from the corridor spilled in the dark room.

Howard pushed past him, turned the lights on, saw Peggy in nothing but her slip and spun quickly so he was facing Steve. “You missed dinner completely, I thought something was wrong.”

“Missed dinner?” Peggy bounced the baby as she turned to look at the clock, “Good lord, we missed dinner.” Peggy lifted Amanda high and sniffed at her diaper. “Her alarm didn’t go off. Not as reliable as I once thought.”

Steve passed Howard and took Amanda from Peggy’s arms so she could get dressed. Instead of trying to shrug into her dress again she grabbed Steve’s shirt and put it on, buttoning only a few buttons before she stepped into Howard’s view.

Howard winced and looked away. “Oh, that ain’t much better, Peg.”

“Glad to know I’m that repulsive.” She pulled the shirt tight and crossed her arms over her chest, incensed.

“Opposite, Peg.” Howard suddenly found his feet fascinating. “Trying not to get decked by your ‘husband’ there.”

Peggy rolled her eyes, sharing a look of exasperation with Steve, Amanda whimpering loudly as he rocked her. “Back to business, please?”

Howard lifted his head, focused mostly on Steve, but his eyes darted back and forth between them both. While before he might have made fun of their level of undress, it was clear they had been sleeping. Steve had pillow creases running across his cheek and Peggy’s hair was mussed from where it had been pressed against the pillow. Her eyes were glassy and not fully awake, and Steve kept hiding yawns behind his free hand. The no man’s land of the bassinet in the center of the bed with the sheets still folded primly underneath it but horribly tossed on either side was a dead give away, though. Nothing more fun than sleep had been happening. “Well, now I feel bad I woke you. Even the baby needed sleep.”

“Can’t say I don’t appreciate the concern, though,” Peggy conceded, moving towards the vanity to prepare a bottle.

“We should all be keeping tabs on one another,” Steve offered. “Tomorrow at breakfast we set up check-ins. We don’t make it to one, we go looking.”

“I agree,” Peggy shook the bottle furiously, bringing it over to Steve.

Howard had been impressed with their handling of the baby before but he was downright amazed at how nonplussed they were at her now full blown crying, or how easily they moved together to feed her without words. “Wow, you guys really got this down.”

“Good lord, no,” Peggy laughed. “Making it all up as we go along.”  
  
“You look natural.” He sighed. “Well, anyway, don’t worry about dinner. I’ll get Jarvis to bring you something to your room.”

“Jarvis?” Steve asked, coaxing the nipple into Amanda’s mouth.

“Mr. Jarvis. My new butler.” Howard looked quite proud. “Long story, I’ll fill you in when Peggy’s wearing more clothes.” Peggy looked askance at him, but he kept talking. “But being part owner, I get some perks. Jarvis getting unlimited access to crew areas is one of them.” His eyes lit up. “And there’s a Mrs. Jarvis! Lovely woman. Maybe she can babysit some time-“

“We’re not letting her out of our sight,” Steve bit out.

“Absolutely, under no circumstances,” Peggy said emphatically at the same time as Steve.

“Right. You two think on that one.” They just stared at him. “Jarvis will be up soon.” He started to leave, but then turned back. “Robe, Peg. Robe.”

The door shut behind him with a soft snap, and once again Peggy marched over to lock it. “Why was he so bothered?”

Steve couldn’t help it. He shrugged and smiled, “I’m a little bothered.”

Peggy was irritated, she turned to the mirror to look and see what was so wrong with how she looked. “What is so disturbing about a few hairs out of place and a woman in a man’s shirt that-“

“Hot and bothered,” Steve supplied, stepping up behind her. He held the baby to the side, carefully balancing the bottle at her mouth while leaning down and letting his nose gently slide up the side of her neck. “Very enticing,” he whispered against her skin. He dropped a small kiss behind her ear then another right before her skin disappeared under the cloth of his shirt. “Now that I’m rested, that slip is looking _exactly_ like an invitation.”

Their eyes met in the mirror, Peggy’s bottom lip between her teeth and her breath coming a little heavier. Amanda chose that moment to cry out around her bottle, squirming in Steve’s arms and demanding his attention. Peggy sighed softly at the lost moment, turning and resting her head on Steve’s shoulder to look at the girl in his arms as he pulled the bottle away. “Howard’s right about something: we fell into a rhythm right quickly, didn’t we?”

“I guess we did.” He handed Peggy the bottle and wiped at the baby’s lips, gently bringing her to his shoulder and patting her back.

Peggy put the bottle down and reached out for one of the soft cloths on the table, slipping it over Steve’s shoulder and under the baby’s cheek. “Does this feel…

“Right?” He looked down at her, his hand never stopping.

She smiled. “Right.” Peggy lifted up on her toes, interrupting Steve’s rhythm just long enough to kiss him softly. He tried to follow her as she pulled back, but she didn’t let him take it any further. Instead, she laid a gentle hand on his chest and another on Amanda’s back. She smiled; the moment felt like something important. They stood there for what felt like hours but was really only seconds, breathing in time with one another. Amanda let out a soft burp and Peggy finally moved, reaching up and catching her drool with the cloth on Steve’s shoulder. The moment lost, she tried to move on. “I should put on my nightdress, and a proper robe, or else I’ll scandalize poor Mr. Jarvis.”

“Don’t,” he whispered. Steve couldn’t reach out for her, arms full of baby. “You look great, you-“ She shut the bathroom door in his face, and he could only smile down at Amanda as he shifted her off his shoulder. “She looked great.”

Amanda hiccuped at him and smiled.

~*~

* * *

Edwin Jarvis, unlike his employer, knocked at a reasonable level when he came to their door only a little while later. Steve, still in bare feet, pants, and his undershirt, opened the door. “Good evening Mr. Ryan. I’m Mr. Jarvis, and I’ve been instructed to bring you your dinner.”

“Come in,” Steve opened the door wide, revealing Peggy, now in a sensible long black robe and with her hair pinned up for the night, holding Amanda on the edge of the bed.

Jarvis rolled a silver cart in laden with covered dishes. “Mrs. Ryan,” he addressed smartly and with a small bow, “I’m Edwin Jarvis, at your service.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Peggy whispered, standing and turning to put Amanda back in her bassinet. “And please, call me Peggy.”

“Apologies,” he stage whispered, “I haven’t woken her?”

“Seems not,” Peggy smiled, she gestured with her hand towards the bassinet, inviting him to look for himself. She wasn’t sure if she was still acting or the impetus to show off the baby was now her own.

“How darling,” Jarvis spoke softly, clapping his hands together in front of him and smiling down. “I’m quite fond of children. As is my wife if you’ve the chance to meet her tomorrow.”

“I’d be honored,” Peggy replied, reaching in and tucking Amanda’s blanket around her tightly.

“As for your dinner,” Jarvis straightened up returning to the rolling cart and pushing it to the small table at the foot of their bed, “We have a delightful selection of salad, roasted chicken, sweet rolls, and roasted potatoes.” He lifted the covers off the dishes, setting two large platters of food in the center then setting out a place setting at each chair.

“This looks…” Steve started, eyes wide.

“…amazing,” Peggy finished. While food on the front wasn’t completely inedible, it had been quite a while since either of them had a meal that wasn’t served out of a giant vat onto a metal tray. Mr. Jarvis made his way out with the rolling cart quickly after, promising the see them tomorrow.

They ate in silence, the sounds of the ocean tightly locked out of the room and Amanda’s soft breathing the only thing they could hear. She passed him the potatoes and he let Peggy pick the pieces of chicken she wanted first. She smiled up at him. “Not exactly how I planned on dressing for our first date.”

He shrugged, chewing his mouthful and swallowing before replying. “Not exactly where I planned to take you.”

She looked up at him, a fork full of greens halfway to her mouth hanging mid air. “You had a plan?” He nodded, but kept his eyes on his plate. She put her fork down and leaned across the small table. “You’ve already gotten me out of my dress tonight, don’t get bashful now.”

Steve laughed and put down his fork, grabbing the napkin from his lap and wiping his face. “Right. Uh,” He pressed his lips together and smiled as he thought. “Well, there were a couple of options.” He gestured both hands out, preparing for his presentation.

Peggy sat back, picking at her sweet roll. “Do tell.”

Steve leaned forward, elbows on the table and chin in his hands. “There was this great Italian restaurant not too far from the SSR base in Brooklyn that has the best sauces you ever tasted. Doesn’t matter what kind: red, white, brown, meat, no meat… whatever you want they make it taste amazing. And they have these little tables on the terrace outside… It seemed like a nice place to go, you know. Not too formal, sitting outside without rubble around our feet and no mud anywhere, being able to just…talk.”

Peggy reached her hand across the table and pressed her palm to his bicep. “Sounds lovely.”

He smiled. “The other option was a place where you definitely can’t put your elbows on the table.” He shifted, removing his elbows but taking Peggy’s hand in his to keep from breaking their connection. “They’d just put it in down the street before I left, some kind of French Bistro with all the trimmings: the white tablecloths, the candles on the table, the whole nine yards.”

Peggy put her elbow on the table purposefully, resting her cheek in her hand. “Seems a little extravagant.”

Steve pulled her hand to his lips, kissing softly. “You’re worth it.”

She blushed furiously, something she couldn’t hide with her face scrubbed clean of make-up, though there had been little left after the last 36 hours. She tried to dodge the moment, and lifted her head off her chin to take up her fork. “I bet they serve duck and caviar, too.”

“And aspics,” Steve supplied, lifting his fork in his left hand so he wouldn’t have to let go just yet.

Peggy swallowed, making a displeased sound. “My mother used to make aspics.”

“And?”

She simply wrinkled her nose up and shook her head. They ate in silence, the night punctuated by the occasional hidden yawn until all of the food was gone and the plates were piled neatly on the table.

Peggy smiled across the table at Steve, her chin on her hand. “I’d kill for a nice nightcap at the mo.”

Steve turned and looked for the phone. “I bet Jarvis can get his hands on something…”

Peggy stood while his attention was elsewhere and rounded the table, settling herself in his lap and turning his head towards hers. “I think I can get my hands on something, too.”

Her kiss took him by surprise but he responded eagerly. He wrapped an arm around her waist and put a hand at her neck, his fingers playing with the edge of the lowest curl.

“Do ya always do your hair like this?” he asked, kissing down her neck and along the edge of the soft cotton robe.

She tilted her head back, letting him kiss across her collarbones. “Most nights, yes. Can’t much get to a salon in the middle of the no man’s zone, you know.” She felt more than heard his chuckle as he made his way up the other side of her neck. “You passed the test, incidentally.”

“Test?” He looked up at her, eyes drunk on the flavor of her skin.

She kissed him slowly. “Yes.” Then she pecked at his lips softly. “Test.”

Peggy started making her own way across Steve’s jaw, her hips gently rocking in his lap, making it very hard for him to think. “What, uh… what kind of test?”

She pulled back just enough to rub noses. “Why, the test every woman fears: her paramour seeing her without make up and with her hair done up for the night.” He felt her shrug. “You don’t seem to mind me at my worst.”

Steve laughed softly, leaning back and framing her face with his hands. “I’ve seen you worse. Bleeding from those bullets in Nice,” he poked her shoulder, “or that time you and half the company got sick from bad water just off the Rhine.” He laughed fully now, “Or that time… that time you fell face first into that mud hole in the motor pool.”

Peggy relented, rolling her eyes and trying to bite back a smile. “Very well. You’ve seen me worse.” She let her finger draw over his check until she could bounce it gently off his nose. “You passed those, too.”

He leaned back, serious, letting his hands slide to her shoulders. “Peggy Carter, I want you. I want you with make up and without it. With your hair perfectly set, pinned up, or full of mud. In a uniform, in a robe, or in nothing at all,” he smiled coyly at his last words. “I want _you,_ ” he said, squeezing his arms just a little tighter for a second, “at your worst and at your best.”

She pressed her forehead to his, trying to quell the emotion she felt rising. “Why do you have to be so infuriatingly good at-“ She stopped mid sentence and sat up taller, sniffing loudly. “Do you smell that?”

Steve took half a sniff before he winced, changing to breathe out of his mouth. “What is-“

“She’s going to need a middle name,” Peggy declared as she stood from Steve’s lap.

“Why?”

She slid the bassinet closer to the side of the bed and picked the squirming girl up, leaning away as the smell grew more pungent. “So I can use it when she interrupts perfectly wonderful moments like that.” She held her at arms length, waiting for Steve to grab a towel and lay it on the bed.

They had her changed relatively quickly, fed, and soon all three were back in bed.

Peggy reached her hand over towards Steve just above the basket. He reached right back in the dark and held her hand softly. “What do you think about Grace?” he asked quietly.

“In general or as a concept?” she asked, her eyes starting to close.

“As a middle name,” he stifled a yawn. “Think about how great that’ll sound the next time she interrupts us.”

She knew he was teasing, but couldn’t help but indulge. “Amanda Grace Rogers,” she bit out, pretending to be cross. “Yes,” she whispered back, “It rolls nicely off the tongue.”

Neither one of them commented out loud on her choice of last name.

~*~

* * *

The next morning didn’t go quite how either had hoped. Though they were still far more rested than they had been previously, they were still groggy. Amanda had woken several times during the night. While Steve had attempted to let Peggy sleep as he generally heard the start of the baby’s cries first, it was nearly impossible to avoid waking her in the small room, and even more impossible to try to change a diaper on a squirming baby in the dark and alone.

Peggy had ended up getting up nearly every time, the two of them bouncing off one another in the dark room until one of them stumbled over and turned on the lights. The next morning wasn’t much better. The alarm clock, set somewhere around the second time Amanda woke up in the night, startled the baby awake and she was nearly inconsolable. The rhythm Peggy and Steve has established over the last two days seemed to vanish at the loud, desperate cries as they tried to figure out what she needed and they tried to make themselves presentable for breakfast in the dining room.

Peggy, in her slip and robe with only half her hair let down from the pins, was moving to hand Steve the bottle she just made and ran straight into him as he turned, doubling over when her nose connected with his elbow.

“Oh god, Peggy!” Steve looked at Peggy and Amanda, now both stricken with tears, and wasn’t sure what to do. In a fit of frustration he put Amanda back in her bassinet, nothing he was doing was stopping her cries, anyway, and bent down to help Peggy stand up straight.

Her eyes were tearing and she held both hands to her nose. “Oh good lord, is it broken?” She asked, pulling her hands away from her face.

“No, it’d be bleeding if it was,” he said, softly tracing its line, pressing gently and apologizing when she winced. “How bad does it hurt?”

“Getting better slowly,” she said, standing up straight and putting her hands gently to the bridge. “Good lord, you’re like running into a brick wall.” She pressed gently and sniffed a few times. “Scratch that, I’ve seen brick walls that have lost against you.”

“That is true.” He laughed lightly and gently wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Peg.”

She shook her head and looked over at the crying baby, her nose throbbing more than she wanted to let on. “Not your fault, you didn’t mean it.”

“Not at all. C’mere,” Steve held out his arms and she stepped into them, willing. Even Amanda seemed to calm for a moment, her cries dropping down to simpers.

After a moment of soft stillness, she started pressing against the chest she’d been laying on, fascinated by the lack of give of his muscles. “I always seem to forget how strong you _actually_ are.” She looked up, smiling. “You’re always so gentle with me.” Steve leaned forward, intent on kissing her, when Amanda decided she’d had enough and redoubled her effort to get everyone’s attention with a loud wail. Peggy dropped her head back, a groan falling from her lips. “Amanda Grace! You must simply learn when an opportune time is.”

The baby didn’t change her volume or tempo, and Peggy sighed. As she brought her head up Steve pecked her forehead lightly. “Sounds good, right?”

Peggy smiled, detangling herself from his arms and went back to pulling pins from her hair as Steve lifted the baby back up, settling on the edge of the bed to try the bottle that had landed on the floor at the foot of the bed. He wiped the nipple off and offered it to her. “Amanda Grace, time for breakfast. Or second breakfast.”

“Try fifth,” Peggy muttered as the crying finally stopped as she latched on to the bottle. The silence that surrounded her did a lot for the pain in her nose that was quickly causing a pounding headache. “Ahh, that’s much better.”

“How often are babies supposed to eat?” Steve looked over his shoulder at her in the vanity mirror.

She met his eyes, slowly unraveling a long curl. “I’m not sure, though Nurse Stephens back at the base said feed her as often as she wanted to be fed.”

“She’s eating a lot- and eating it fast.” Steve was slightly concerned. He had no real experience with babies, though he’d gotten to hold quite a few of them in his USO days.

Peggy started on the swoop of her Victory Roll, pulling it up and out over and over around her fingers until it was smooth and perfect, pinning it in place sharply. “Have you ever seen yourself eat?” She mumbled around a mouth full of pins “If she has any of that serum in her, the poor thing is probably starving every moment of the day.”

“Good point.” Steve conceded, watching as Amanda sucked hungrily. Steve turned to look back at Peggy as she muffled a curse around the pins in her mouth. “You ok?”

“Banged my knee again.” She pulled the pins from between her teeth and resituated herself on the chair as she pulled out the cosmetics she’d bought the other day. “This thing is too damn short by an inch or so.”

Steve, who had quickly dressed this morning while Peggy had been dressing Amanda, turned so one knee was up on the bed and watched, fascinated, as Peggy did her make-up.

She froze, one hand halfway to her lashes with the small brush full of mascara. “Enjoying the show?”

He blushed and turned away, stammering. “Sorry, I uh-“

“I don’t care if you watch,” She moved to resume her mascara and smiled when she saw his reflection turn back. “Just wondering if it’s really all that interesting.”

“It is to me.”

“Why?”

Steve stalled by making a show of moving Amanda to his shoulder, grabbing their designated burp cloth and working on releasing some air from the poor thing. When he met her eyes in the mirror again, she was brushing a light brown over her eyelids. “I don’t think I’ve ever watched anyone do that before.”

Peggy laughed, considering her palate before she picked up more color on her brush. “You’ve seen those USO girls put on make up lots of times.”

He shook his head down at the floor, “Not the same.” Amanda let out a light belch and he turned his head to her immediately. “Good girl,” he whispered. “Feel better?”

Peggy moved on to her cheeks, lightly pressing her finger to her new lipstick and dabbing it on over the apple of her cheeks. She frowned at the initial application and kept blending it. “Maybe that’s why she was fussy. Keep going.”

Steve didn’t let up the rhythm of the light pats on her back. “Yes, ma’am.” Only a few seconds later a louder burp broke the silence, followed quickly by a mouthful of formula. “Yeah, definitely feeling better after that one.”

Peggy had moved on to her lipstick, turning as she looked at her reflection and scowling: it was more orange than she’d hoped but it would have to do. “That belch could put Dugan to shame.”

“See?” Steve asked, bouncing Amanda against his chest as Peggy slipped her dress on, “You’re a Howling Commando already.”

Peggy pulled Amanda from his arms. “Upsy daisy,” she sang, lifting her high before cradling her close. “Be a dear?” She turned, exposing her back to Steve where the zipper needed to be done.

Steve zipped her up quick before he could get any other ideas. He moved her hair away, meaning to kiss her neck, but Amanda was staring back at him from over Peggy’s shoulder. The baby squealed in delight, and Steve could only laugh.

“She likes you,” Peggy whispered softly.

“She likes us both, I think,” Steve said, spinning Peggy around.

Peggy held the girl tight as she leaned up and pressed a strong kiss to Steve’s lips. He chased her as she pulled away, wrapping one arm around her waist and using the other to help support Amanda as he held her closer, letting his lips slant over hers.

Peggy pulled away gently, smiling at first but grimacing once she saw Steve’s whole face. She reached up to run her thumb over Steve’s lips to clear away the smudges there. “I not much a fan of this color for me, but it looks horrid on you.”

~*~

* * *

Breakfast was quick affair. Over eggs and toast at a small table in the large dining room with Howard they devised a series of check-ins, mostly meals as they’d have to be together anyway, and Howard invited them for a “tour” of the boat. Steve absentmindedly kept the pram moving, using his foot to rock it back and forth as they ate and talked.

“There’s a lot of great amenities you should really take advantage of,” Howard continued around a mouthful of toast. “There’s a pool, a gym, a library, a game room…”

“A gym would be lovely,” Peggy mused, “to be able to not have to lie in mud to-“

Howard mumbled into his coffee, turning and looking away.

Peggy leaned forward. “What did you say, Howard?”

He put his coffee down and winced, knowing what was coming. “I said, it’s uh, men only.”

Instead of the tirade they expected, Peggy cleared her throat and pressed a small smile to her face. “Well, then, Steve, you absolutely must go and enjoy it for the both of us.”

Howard’s jaw fell at her not chastising him, but he understood a second later as the waiter put his hand over his shoulder and removed his empty plate. “Oh. Right. Yeah, Steve, you’ll love it.”

She smiled tightly as the waiter walked away. “I’m sure I can find much more lady like pursuits. Like the library. Or sitting and waiting for Steve to come back because I’m incapable of doing anything without a man.”

“That’s the Peg I know and love.” Howard leaned back in his chair. “I was almost worried there for a second when you didn’t rip my head off.”

“We’re here for five more days,” she said quietly. “Appearances are important.”

“Exactly,” Howard rapped his knuckles on the table. “You two should be out taking walks, going swimming, enjoying your time on deck.”

Steve interjected. “Howard, it’s still March. It’s cold on deck.”

“Fine, not on deck. And the pool’s down below, anyway.” He shrugged. “You’ve got five free days where you’re _not_ expected to behave in a certain way at all. All I’m saying is what happens on this boat, stays on this boat, got it?”

“Howard, we have a job to do,” Steve looked pointedly at the pram then back at Howard. “That can’t change.”

“Not even in the slightest,” Peggy affirmed.

“I’m not saying don’t do what you’re here to do,” Howard leaned forward on the table, his voice barely above a whisper so only they heard it. “I’m saying you’re safe here. Let down your guard a little. Enjoy the luxury and spend some of my money. They’re gonna ship you back to that hellhole as soon as they can and you know that.” He leaned back, waving his arms wide across the dining room. “Take advantage.”

Howard pushed back from his chair to stand as he waved to someone who was approaching them. Peggy and Steve looked at one another seriously. They did have to have a conversation. They couldn’t just hole up in their room all day every day. Hydra may not be on the ship right now, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t question the people who were there, or that they wouldn’t bribe them, or hurt them, to get information about an odd couple with a baby. They needed to fit in.

Howard greeted Mr. Jarvis and who they assumed to be Mrs. Jarvis. “Quite sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I wanted to introduce my wife, Mrs. Ana Jarvis.” The lovely redhead smiled.

“Pleased to meet you,” Peggy stood and shook her hand. “Peggy Ryan, my husband, Steve, and this,” Peggy reached in the pram, pulling out the baby with a smile, “is Amanda.”

Ana looked over at the bright-eyed bundle in Peggy’s arms and smiled, “Amanda, what a beautiful name for a beautiful girl! Were you a good girl for Mummy and Daddy last night?”

Peggy and Steve locked eyes over Ana’s head as she continued to coo at the baby. It had been one thing to internalize that feeling of a small family, but it felt positively lurid for someone else to bring it to light. And yet, that’s what they were doing, play-acting at being a family.

“She’s still settling in to a routine,” Steve replied, completely truthful, “but she’s doing well.”

Ana couldn’t stop the smile on her face, she reached out a tickled the girl's cheek and was rewarded with a giggle form the baby. Peggy beamed and Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off them. “Will you join me for tea this afternoon?” Ana asked Peggy, looking up from the baby. “I’m sure Howard and your husband have men’s business that needs to be attended to.”

Peggy forced a smile at the insinuation that she wouldn’t be welcome at that business. “Yes, tea would be lovely.”

Ana clasped her hands together. “Wonderful! I’ll meet you at your cabin at 3, we can walk to the dining room together.”

“Mr. Stark,” Jarvis gave a short bow, “I shall be at your room at half past eleven for your lunch order. Are you still planning on taking lunch in your room?”

“No, not today. I’ll be in my office on the lower decks this morning. You can have the day free, Mr. Jarvis.”

Jarvis looked surprised. “Oh. Well,” He smiled. “I shall endeavor to find a distraction, then.”

“I’ve heard there’s a lovely gymnasium,” Peggy supplied, looking slyly at Howard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Bonus clichés: Peggy wiping lipstick off Steve after they kiss and a baby interrupting a romantic moment. 2. The mention of Aspics is more an inside joke for myself than anything. Several years ago I bought Julia Child’s The Art of French Cooking and decided I was going to try to cook everything in it. Then I saw the chapter on aspics (basically meat based jello with all kinds of things in it- like other meats) and none of that happened. I hereby acknowledge MANY people LIKE aspics and they can be SUPER nutritious. 3. Actual Plot starts showing up in Chapter 4. Fluffy romantic goodness and baby goodness does not stop. Ever.


	4. What Little We Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard attempts to find out more about Amanda through science while Steve and Peggy work to keep up appearances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I’m so blown away by how much everyone is enjoying my little flight of fancy. This is the chapter where plot starts to show up.

Howard’s “tour” of the boat left something to be desired. He didn’t talk much, just listed names and pointed to rooms. It was going to be a chilly crossing for the end of March, and even though the outside decks were open, Peggy preferred to stick to the interior corridors while they had the baby with them.

Howard brought them far below, to a deck that was labeled “Service Only” and through a twisting corridor. “Aft side, third door,” he told them. “Don’t forget that.”

The door was unlabeled and nondescript, and when opened revealed little but a messy desk, chair, and book case. They barely fit inside with the pram. Howard shuffled behind them and locked the door, and then pushed past them, pulled a book out of the case, and pushed the case forward to reveal a much larger room.

“Can’t keep most of this stuff out in the open.” He let them through and shut the bookcase again. The larger room had two long tables, one along each side wall, filled with instruments that reminded Steve of Howard’s lab back at the base. “It’s not a proper lab, but I can get some work done while I’m traveling.”

“Why bring us here?” Peggy asked, picking Amanda up and holding her close. The baby had just woken and her eyes were wide with wonder at all the shiny surfaces.

“One, so you’d know where I likely am if I miss a check in. I’ve been known to fall asleep down here.” Howard sat on a stool, pointing at a microscope. “Two, I can’t do much, but I can take some blood samples from all three of you. It can give us some preliminary data.”

Steve rolled up his sleeve, “What can it tell you?”

“No, Peg first.” He pointed at Peggy and she gently passed Amanda to Steve. Howard reached over and opened a drawer, pulling out a needle, a vial, and a tourniquet. “Here? Mostly just blood type and any major markers that stand out that should or shouldn’t be there. Once we get back to the states I can run a more detailed analysis.”

Wordlessly, he went about filling the small vile, Peggy looking away from the whole affair. “Not a fan of needles,” she muttered as he finally pulled it out and placed a piece of gauze over the puncture as he mixed the tube and set it in the rack behind him. Peggy held it tight for a second before reaching out for the baby. “Your turn.”

Steve sat on the stool and held his arm out, unbothered, as Howard brought out another needle and vial. Peggy, however, started pacing with Amanda in her arms. “Howard, what do you think the government is going to do with her?”

Howard didn’t look away from what he was doing as he slipped the needle under Steve’s skin and filled the vial. “Can’t rightly say. I’d _hope_ they’d be sensible, let her grow up, just monitor her. But if there’s something in her…” He slipped the needle out and capped it, putting it aside to be sanitized later. He tipped the vial up and down a few times, gently mixing the blood with the anticoagulant in the vial and set it in a rack to the side. Howard motioned for Peggy to move over closer to Steve.

She moved warily, her eyes reflecting the hesitancy in her body, but didn’t object when Howard started undoing the blanket around Amanda. He held his hands at his chest like he was holding a basketball. “Hold her up, like this.”

Peggy complied, letting Howard pull her foot out of her day dress and watched as he vigorously rubbed it. “But you’d be in charge of her, wouldn’t you?”

Howard shook his head, trying to separate business from the laughing baby in front of him as he warmed her foot. “Not a chance.” Peggy’s wide-eyed look that was halfway between fear and anger did nothing to help him concentrate. “Let’s just… let’s just all focus on if there’s anything to be worried about yet, shall we? We don’t even know if she is what we think she is.”

He grabbed Peggy’s shoulders and shifted her in front of Steve who was still sitting on the stool. “Peg, hold the baby tight. She’s not going to like this.” He looked over Peggy’s shoulder at Steve, “Steve, hold Peg tight, she’s not going to like this, either.”

Howard turned to grab a tube and a lancet as Steve wrapped his arms around Peggy, one holding under Amanda’s hips and the other wrapped over Peggy’s hands on the girl. He pulled her back, settling her against his legs.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. But if Peggy can do this, so can you.” Howard swabbed her heel with alcohol then pierced the skin with the lancet. She cried immediately and Peggy tightened her grip, leaning forward and whispering in the baby’s ear that she was okay over and over. Howard held the vial under the puncture, collecting the blood as it dripped out slowly.

Finally, when Peggy didn’t think she could bear another second, Howard pulled the vial away and covered her heel with a piece of gauze. Peggy shifted Amanda quickly, settling her in one arm so that she could hold the gauze against her foot. Steve wrapped his hands around Peggy’s shoulders, letting them slide up and down to comfort Peggy as she tried to calm Amanda. Peggy’s eyes shot daggers at Howard as he set the vials aside. He could only shrug. “Hey, I warned you.”

“What else do you need, Howard?” Steve calmly asked over her shoulder.

“Nothing.” He went back to the door and unlocked it. “I’ll let you know when I have something, or I’ll see you at dinner, whichever comes first.”

Peggy didn’t bother to put Amanda in the pram, she just carried her out of the room keeping her cuddled close to her chest. Steve clapped Howard on the back as he left behind her, pushing the pram out the door.

“Do something fun!” Howard yelled after them. Once they were gone and he’d secured both doors again, he shook his head. “She’s gonna kill me before this is all over.”

~*~

* * *

Peggy didn’t talk all the way back to the room, just cuddled the crying baby close to her chest, letting Steve follow behind pushing the pram. At their door she stepped back, waiting for Steve to unlock it, then barreled through, putting the baby on the bed and checking her heel.

Steve parked the pram at the edge of the room and went to her side. “Peggy, she’s fine. Lots of babies get their blood drawn.”

Peggy, eyes wide as saucers, lifted the fussy baby’s heel for Steve to see. “Yes, but lots of babies still have a mark on them five minutes later.”

Steve leaned in and couldn’t see anything on the baby’s heal. He gently took it in his own hands, turning it side to side, before looking at his own elbow where he’d been stuck only moments before. No mark. No bruises. No blood. Without a word, Peggy moved her arm into view where the tiny puncture of her vein was still visible, a perfect, angry red circle on her light skin.

With a heavy sigh Steve marched over to the side table and started making a bottle. “We should feed her, it’s probably why she’s fussy.”

“She’s fussy because Howard-“

Steve cut her off, “Because any time I get hurt and I have to shake it off, I’m ravenous the next few hours.” Steve turned and shook the bottle, looking at Peggy starkly. Peggy just nodded, her stomach feeling like a lead weight had settled in it. She scooped Amanda up and settled herself against the headboard with the baby in her arms.

Steve crawled in bed from the other side, plastering himself against Peggy and watching as Amanda eagerly started suckling on the bottle. He wrapped his arm around Peggy’s shoulders and she quickly laid her head on his chest.

“I think I didn’t want to believe it,” she whispered softly, “that they’d experiment on a baby.”

He let his hand drift over the baby’s wispy hair, looked into her sleepy blue eyes, and felt only despair at the thought of what Hydra had planned for her. “Me neither.”

They sat quietly, holding her as she ate furiously, her desire to eat warring only with her desire to sleep as her eyes started to close. Peggy gently slipped the nipple from her lips once the bottle was empty, her small mouth still moving to suckle even though there was only air.

Steve stared to reach for Amanda. “I can put her-“

“No,” Peggy interrupted. “We’re fine here.” She smiled lightly.

Steve sighed, shifting under her. He didn’t necessarily want to move, but he had to. He wasn’t good at staying still for long under normal circumstances, and the emotions he was trying to work out had his body itching to move, to hit something. “Peg, I have to-“

“I know. I can positively feel you vibrating.” She looked up at him. “Go to the gym. Hit something. You’ll feel better.”

He smiled. “How’d you know?”

“Because I would absolutely like to hit something too, but a pillow once you’re gone will have to suffice.” She couldn’t help but feel a warmth at the concerned look Steve gave her, his unwillingness to leave her alone somehow more reassuring than annoying to her in this moment. “Go, we’re fine. Seems it’s nap time.”

Steve dropped a soft kiss on her head, gently untangling himself. “Thank you.”

He slipped out, key in his pocket and not much else, not knowing where he was going. Steve took the outside route, the chill of the air on his skin exactly what he needed to try to shock him back to reality. Not many people were on deck as the air was biting as they kept farther North than usual to avoid U-boats, but that bite fed his anger, fed his frustration, and made his steps even more purposeful.

It was easy to fall into a façade with Peggy. It was scary how much he wanted this life with her. He’d always daydreamed that at the end of the war he’d finally ask her out on a date, and maybe they’d go steady, maybe even end up married.

He’d only dare daydreamed about a family once or twice. Some of the moments over the last two and a half days were eerily close to things he’d barely hoped for, and it filled him with both happiness and fear: happiness that those moments could actually be a possibility and fear that now he knew they could happen he’d never manage to get them.

Howard had said to take advantage. Everything inside him screamed that he should, that he should hold Peggy as often as he could and enjoy the soft bed and the warm showers and the gourmet food because in a few days they’d be back to who they really were: soldiers in a desperate war. Yet, he held himself back. How could he ever go back to the mud and dying and adrenaline soaked battlefields after experiencing this peace?

“Mr. Ryan?” Mr. Jarvis, who was coming down the deck the opposite way, interrupted Steve’s barreling train of thought. “Are you quite alright? Is there an emergency?”

Steve could feel his heart pounding and realized he’d very nearly been running. “No, not at all Mr. Jarvis.” He was able to smile at the man’s open concern. “I’m looking for the gymnasium. I have some energy I need to burn off.”

“Ah yes, understandable.” Mr. Jarvis nodded and smiled, motioning for Steve to follow him. “The cabin tends to get a little claustrophobic, does it not?”

Steve just nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t fidget. “I’m used to more… movement… during my day.”

Jarvis held the door to an inside corridor and allowed Steve in before he stepped forward again and led the way. “Quite so. I’ve taken to strolling the upper decks in the morning to get my blood pumping. Mrs. Jarvis prefers to stay indoors, states it too cold for her.” He turned another corridor. “She’s quite excited about meeting your wife for tea, she was convinced she’d have no one to talk to besides myself on the voyage.”

Before Steve could follow up, Jarvis swung out his arm and presented a set of glass double doors. Steve could see a few men inside the gym, in attire ranging from the short shorts that were fashionable to full three-piece suits. “We’ve arrived.”

“Thanks, Jarvis.” Steve nodded gratefully, his hand on the door handle.

“At your service, sir,” Jarvis pointed to Steve’s left. “When you’re done, you’ll want to go two decks down and stay on the port side to get to your cabin.”

Steve thanked him again as he entered. The room smelled of acrid, old sweat and smoke, and the amenities were serviceable, if only a few. He eyed the stationary bike- it would get his heart rate up and burn the energy quickly. The jump rope hanging in the corner would do the same. The punching bag would certainly be useful, as Peggy had pointed out earlier, and there was plenty of room for the daily calisthenics he was used to. He eyed the barbell and the small plates next to it warily; they wouldn’t do much for him, but if he was going to put on a show at being someone else, struggling with a few pounds wasn’t the worst idea.

He started unbuttoning his shirt, stripped to his undershirt, and headed for the bike.

~*~

* * *

Steve slipped his key in the lock, opening the door quietly incase Amanda was still sleeping. As he slid in he heard Peggy breathing heavy, mumbling under her breath.

She was in only her slip and had her feet tucked up under the bed. Amanda was laying, facedown and pushing up on her elbows, near the edge of the bed, watching Peggy and occasionally laughing as she came near and far with each sit-up.

“Women aren’t allowed…” Up. “We’ve got to fight, Amanda…” Down. “To get every little piece for ourselves…” Up. “That isn’t just cooking dinner…” Down. “And having babies.” She took two deep breaths then redoubled her efforts. “Women aren’t…” Up. “Allowed in the…” Down. “Gymnasium.” Up. “Bollocks.” Down. “I bet half those…” Up. “ _Men_ …” Down. “Don’t even know…” Up. “How to use…” Down. “The equipment…” Up. “Properly.”

Steve smiled to himself, amused not only at the way Peggy was taking out her anger, but at the way Amanda smiled a little brighter as Peggy came up towards her each time and the way she tried to prop up on her elbows even though she didn’t have much head control yet. He reached back and made a lot of noise, opening and closing the door again. “Peg?” He announced himself as if he hadn’t been standing there.

“I know you’ve been in,” she forced out, catching her breath as she lay on the floor. “Couldn’t stop counting to say hello.”

Steve laughed, sitting in the chair closest to her and reaching out a hand to help her up. She didn’t need it, but she took it. “You’re right, most of the men in that gym don’t have any idea what they’re doing. Plus, it smelled worse than the latrine.”

Peggy simply rolled her eyes at him, “Now I don’t believe that.” She leaned in to him and sniffed, catching smells that wafted off of his shirt that were absolutely not sweaty Steve. Sweaty, in the field Steve was a smell she’d come to know and love. “Ok, maybe I do.”

He laughed as she leaned away from him. “You all done or you got some more left?”

She’d finally caught her breath. “Still haven’t done my push-ups for the day.”

Steve smiled brightly. “One handed or two?”

“Haven’t decided yet.” She smiled back, reaching over and gently flipping Amanda to her back and scooting her closer to the middle of the bed. “Why?”

“I was gonna hit the showers, but if you were done and wanted to go first...”

She waved an arm to the side. “All yours, Captain.”

He gave her a mock salute, “Thank you, ma’am.” Steve went over to the stack of drawers and pulled out clean clothes to wear after his shower as Peggy stretched her arms overhead and across her body. He was at the door when he stopped and turned, feeling the need to say _something_. “You know, Peg, I-“

“What?”

He was stuck. He knew she struggled with being the token woman in a world full of men that didn’t want her there, but he didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t sound patronizing. He looked at her, then really looked at her, slightly sweaty in only her slip and undergarments, and smiled. Maybe now wasn’t the time for declarations of solidarity. “I’m really glad you couldn’t go to the gym, if that’s what you were gonna wear.”

She clicked her tongue against her teeth, “Cheeky!” She shook her head and tried to hide her blush. “Hit the showers, soldier.”

~*~

* * *

Peggy was waiting for Ana outside of the cabin when she walked down the corridor. Ana frowned immediately. “Is all well?”

“Quite,” Peggy replied. “She’s just finally gone down for a nap and we didn’t want to wake her.” It was a half-truth, but Ana seemed to accept it readily with a smile as they started to make their way to the dining room. In truth, she and Steve had nearly come to blows over her leaving the baby with him. He’d insisted she get some time away, just like he’d done that morning. Peggy thought not taking the baby with her would stick out like a sore thumb. Amanda had bounced back and forth between smiling and happy to fussy and squirming all morning, and while Peggy thought it’d be much more realistic for her to have the baby at tea, she couldn’t deny that some time away from her wouldn’t be a bad thing. Peggy still felt off kilter: her cover wasn’t as solid as it usually was and the revelations from this morning about what Amanda might be still had her reeling. She needed something solid, soon, to feel more in control.

They were seated at a small table and promptly served hot tea and given a small tray of cookies and cakes. Compared to breakfast the room was fairly empty: small groups of a few women scattered about. No men.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Ana said, stirring a lump of sugar in her tea, “But the men generally retire to the cigar lounge in the afternoon.”

Peggy sipped hers plain, but after tasting the bitterness of the wartime ration, she thought better and added her own sugar. “How many times have you crossed?”

“Not often.” Ana smiled brightly. “This is the third. The first was when we went to the States to work for Mr. Stark, then back to Europe in Mr. Stark’s service, and now we’re on our way home to New York.” She held the tray out Peggy. “Scone?”

Peggy lifted one to her own plate, along with what looked like a shortbread. “Goodness, it’s been a while since I’ve had a sweet.”

“One of the perks of working for Mr. Stark,” Ana nodded as she filled her own plate. She leaned forward, her voice low. “Edwin sees quite a lot, working for him. You’d be surprised at how the rich in this country live during wartime.”

Peggy leaned forward, matching her posture. “I’m sure I would.”

Ana smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. It seemed there was more she wanted to ask, but she was hesitant. There was silence as they both awkwardly ate. Ana finally wiped her mouth daintily and asked what she couldn’t get off her mind. “Aren’t you relations?”

“Cousins,” Peggy supplied, though she realized now they hadn’t actually decided who was whose cousin. She bought time by sipping her tea, she wasn’t really sure what Ana or Mr. Jarvis knew about Howard’s family and she didn’t know all that much, either.

Ana, it seemed, didn’t mind being frank. “I thought Howard’s father had only one brother, who was also quite well-to-do?” She shrugged her shoulder. “You and Steve don’t seem to be…”

“Disowned,” Peggy replied, quickly biting her shortbread to give herself a moment. She’d hoped it would seem like a taboo topic and prevent Ana from asking more questions, but she only seemed more enthralled. Peggy took a deep breath and did the best she could. “I was disowned, rather, when I agreed to marry Steven.”

Ana was leaning forward, both hands wrapped around her teacup. “No!”

“Yes,” Peggy sipped again, calling on the part of her brain that could go into autopilot on missions when she was undercover. “I fell head over heels for Steve quite by accident. My father had been trying to convince me to marry a man of his choice: money, status… He was a fine man, but I didn’t love him. Steve was… well, Steve’s family is quite poor, in fact, and my father was furious that I wouldn’t take our family’s reputation into account when choosing my husband.”

“What happened?” Ana was enthralled, and Peggy could see the potential for this woman to be quite the gossip, which could be good or bad for them.

“We eloped.”

“No!”

“Yes!” Peggy leaned forward, whispering. “Howard is the only one on my side of the family that still talks to us. In fact, according to most, we don’t even exist.”

Ana’s face fell, empathetic. “How horribly sad,” she shook her head, looking into her tea. “And with such a beautiful baby.”

Peggy sniffed, looking down and away, hoping to find a way off the topic before she contradicted something the woman actually knew about Howard. “We don’t discuss it much.”

Ana reached across the table and laid her hand on Peggy’s wrist, contrite. “I am so sorry to have brought it up.”

“No, don’t be. It’s perfectly natural to be interested.” Peggy laid her own hand on Ana’s for a moment and she reassessed her initial feelings about the woman. It seemed she was horribly empathetic and simply looking to make a friend. “Let’s talk about happier topics, shall we?”

“Yes,” Ana agreed, holding her tea cup high. Peggy demurely touched her cup to Ana’s, smiling brightly.

“What about you and Mr. Jarvis?” Peggy asked, stealing another cookie.

Ana just shook her head, “Oh no, I’m afraid that isn’t happier.”

~*~

* * *

“Steve?” Peggy’s voice was quiet in their room as she slipped in.

“Bathroom,” he stage whispered. She leaned on the doorjamb, watching him with his hands elbow deep in the small sink full of soaking cloth diapers. “She just went down a few minutes ago.”

She crossed her arms, highly amused. “And you decided to do the wash?”

“We ran out,” he replied to her shock. “She’s got half of one of my undershirts on now, and we still have the other half, but that’s it until these dry.”

Peggy immediately shed her jacket in favor of joining him. “Best get going then, she’s a ticking time bomb.”

He drained the sink again and refilled it with hot water, scrubbing the soap out. Peggy took the cloths one by one, ringing them out over the shower drain and hanging them over the towel rack, the shower rail, and any other surface she could find. They worked in quiet concert until the sink was empty.

“How long do you think they’ll take?” Steve asked, drying his hands.

Peggy shook her head. “Too long. You may have to sacrifice another shirt for the cause.” She took the proffered hand towel from Steve and dried her own hands. “We’ll have to start washing them as we go.”

“How was tea?” Steve asked, sitting in a chair as Peggy leaned over the bed, rearranging Amanda’s dress and puffing up the pillows around her keeping her in place.

“Surprisingly nice.” Peggy joined him, pulling her heels off as she sat. “Ana’s quite lovely.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He looked over at her, his own unease palpable.

“I’m sorry I was pigheaded this afternoon.” She couldn’t quite look at him, but her voice was strong. “I still feel like we’re playing catch up a bit too much here.”

“Same,” He leaned forward, trying to catch her eyes. “But we’ve got to stay in this together.”

When she looked up and caught his eyes, she found more understanding than she thought she would, and with the next breath they both felt just a little calmer. “I’m in this with you, I promise.”

He reached his hand out over the table and she immediately put her own in it, closing over his fingers gently. “I’ve been thinking about what Howard said at breakfast this morning. We should… we should try to enjoy this.”

“Because we’re going right back,” Peggy whispered, her eyes closed and head back on the edge of the chair. She squeezed his hand. “I agree.” She turned her head to the side and opened her eyes at him. “We also have to be more…”

“Like a family?” he asked. He’d been thinking it all afternoon, though he didn’t think they’d have to do much more to be convincing at this point.

“Yes, publicly.”

He couldn’t help the words tumbling out of his mouth. “And privately?”

She didn’t answer right away, just looked at him with a longing in her eyes he understood deeply. “We don’t let our guard down.” She took another deep breath, “but we take advantage and enjoy what little we have for now.”

It was vague enough they could still honestly deny having decided anything specific if it ever did get off the boat and into the ears of an Army General or Senator, but vague enough that it also left a world of possibilities open to them. “Good,” Steve tugged gently at her with their twined hands, pulling her to stand, around the small table, and into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her as she settled into his embrace. “I’ll take some time alone with my best girl.”

“Mmm,” Peggy hummed in agreement, her fingers playing at the collar of his shirt as she settled her head on his shoulder, the two of them feeling the stress of the day melt away as they embraced. After a few seconds she shifted to lean back so she could see his face, remembering what she had to tell him. “We have to talk about our cover story, Ana was quite inquisitive.”

He tilted his head down lazily, nearly bumping noses. “Oh?”

She let her hand fall to his neck. “We’re Howard’s cousins on my side, I was disowned when you and I eloped.”

“I’m bad news, huh?” He leaned forward just an inch closer to her lips.

Peggy edged closer, their lips barely brushing. “Terrible. Couldn’t help myself.” She covered the last few centimeters and brought their lips together, leisurely enjoying the feel of his mouth against hers.

“What made me so bad?” Steve mumbled against her lips, sliding one hand slowly up her thigh and under her dress.

“Penniless.” She moaned as his hand found the top of her stocking and ran lightly against her flesh. “Wild dreams of grandeur.” She brought her fingers to the waist of his pants, pulling to untuck his shirts and slide her fingers against the flesh of his stomach. His lips pressed against her neck right where her pulse was starting to pound. “No prospects and we were passionately in love.”

He lifted himself away from her neck, letting his thumb run over her cheek. “Passionately in love.” It was a statement, parroting her story but reflecting how he felt as he searched her eyes.

All he saw there was a reflection of his own feelings. “Quite in love,” she reassured him seriously.

His next kiss was softer, filed less with the need for her body and more the promise of everything he’d been daydreaming for the last year. He pulled just the tiniest inch away, pressing his forehead to hers before looking in her eyes. “I do love you, Peggy Carter. Passionately.”

They were words neither had said before. They’d come close, but it was the first time he’d come out and said it, and it was a relief to finally be as plain as he could about it. Peggy didn’t miss a beat, her reply making her voice low and full of emotion. “And I love you, Steve Rogers.” Her fingers played with the short hairs at the base of his neck, neither moving and both of them content to hold one another, finally secure in the knowledge this wasn’t a flight of fancy or something far more delicate and meant only to last the length of the war.

It complicated everything moving forward.

Everything. 

At the moment, though, Peggy couldn’t bring herself to care. That moment, in his arms, was something she’d have to keep her warm on cold nights in tents and foxholes once they were inevitably sent back.

“Hear that?” Steve whispered, running his hand up and down her back. Peggy shook her head; it was quiet around them. Steve smiled widely at her. “Amanda finally figured out when not to interrupt.”

~*~

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. Howard looked exhausted. He had promised the blood tests were on the way, partly completed, and still running in his lab. He’d managed to get lost in another ongoing project for most of the day that was the cause of his fatigue. They ate without much chatter, Steve and Peggy passing the once again cranky baby between them so the other could eat. They kept their suspicions about Amanda to themselves for the time being, preferring to wait and see what Howard’s tests said. Amanda had finally fallen asleep against Steve’s chest as the main course was taken away.

Peggy sipped the tea she still had left, “So how does this actually work?”

Howard was playing with his napkin, leaning back and waiting for a cup of coffee to magically appear in front of him. “What do you mean?”

“You owning part of the boat?” She was supremely interested, plus she was afraid to try to move Amanda lest she wake up cranky again. They’d exhausted the feeding and changing and bouncing and burping, and couldn’t quite figure out what was making her upset.

“Well, I don’t only own the aft section if that’s what you’re talking about.” He gratefully accepted a mug of coffee from the waiter, drinking it down even though it was still steaming.

Peggy shook her head as her slice of cake was placed in front of her. She’d decided to take full advantage of whatever magic this ship had for enough sugar to offer cookies and cakes. “Not at all and don’t be daft.”

“Then what?”

Steve took over, knowing exactly what Peggy wanted to know because he was curious about the same thing. He was quiet and the baby didn’t move an inch as he spoke. “How are you sailing around without a convoy? How are you just going back and forth with people who seem to be on vacation?”

“Not vacation. It’s hard to get in and out- you know that.” He leaned forward as well, his voice low. “The ship takes me back and forth- it’s only slightly safer at this point than plane, and I don’t have to fly it myself so I can get some sleep and work in. God knows I don’t get any sleep as soon as I’m on the front.”

Peggy swallowed her mouthful of cake. “But what about the passengers?”

He shrugged, taking another long draw on his coffee. “Real passengers. We let as many on as we can each voyage. Most of it is families looking to get to a safe place or to get across and find a loved one.” He shrugged. “I guess some are looking for a vacation.”

“And you make money off of it?” Peggy accused, noticing Steve looking at her dessert.

“Now? No. No one can afford to pay.” He looked around. It was upper class, but not nearly as opulent as some of the boats he’d seen before the war. “Anything we get barely pays for the cost of running the boat. It’s an excuse to move people and get myself there and back, nothing more.”

“And the U-boats?” Steve asked.

Howard didn’t flinch as Peggy fed Steve a piece of cake from her fork, his hands full with the baby. “I’ve got a sonar guy. We stay as far away as we can.” Howard waved his hand like it was nothing. “We even think we hear a blip and we’re heading the other way.”

Peggy offered Steve another bite as she turned to Howard. “You seem so unbothered by it all.”

“The war or you hand feeding your _husband_?” He lifted his eyebrows a few times, leering at them. He ignored their fierce stares back, but did sober his attitude. “By plane or by boat, it’s all dangerous. Dwelling on it doesn’t change it.”

Howard pushed his chair back, hands on the table as he leaned forward. “You two enjoy your desert. I’ve got math to get back to.”

“We’ll see you for breakfast,” Peggy affirmed, fork still in her hand as he walked away. She looked down at the small bit of cake left and split it in half, putting one piece in her mouth and feeding the rest to Steve. “Do you think she’ll stay asleep if you move her?”

Steve shook his head, “Not sure.” He looked over Peggy’s shoulder at the back of the dining room where a group of men had been drinking all night and were starting to get loud, “But I don’t think staying here right now is a good idea, either.”

“Ok, steady as you go then,” Peggy stood and watched Steve carefully stand with his chest leaned back, trying to shift without waking her.

They managed to get into the corridor before she started squirming, and were only a few steps away from their cabin when she started to wail. They hurried inside and Peggy took the girl, running through the list of things they always checked. “Diaper is holding for the moment,” she muttered, shaking her head. “She just ate before we went to dinner.”

“I’ll make a bottle anyway,” Steve unbuttoned the cuffs on his shirt and rolled up his sleeves as he headed to the vanity where they kept the bottles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to do my homework to make things as believable as possible. DNA testing was not available in the 1940’s. Based on what I’ve found, the 1940’s standard was blood typing (AB, A, B, and O) and serological testing for proteins. While you could argue that Howard Stark would have more advanced tech at this point, and I’d probably agree with you, not only do I want to try to keep it historically accurate, it’s going to come back and be useful later on.


	5. Rough Seas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They hit rough seas, and everything needs to be put on hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a little Hurt/comfort for you all…

Steve was not a heavy sleeper and never had been. Maybe it was because in his youth he’d never actually slept well: he couldn’t get comfortable, was always struggling for a good breath, and the noises outside his window seemed endlessly more fascinating than sleeping. It was a good trait to have in the Army: even when he wasn’t on watch his eyes would pop open at the first sound of intrusion or someone moving around. Here, he’d been able to fend off the worst of Amanda’s cries in the middle of the night by scooping her out of her bassinet when she was still just whimpering or starting to move around.

They’d only finally gotten her down close to midnight, and he expected to be up with her every few hours again tonight.

All of this is why, when Peggy shot straight up in bed just shy of three AM, eyes wide and taking shallow breaths, his eyes opened immediately. “Peg?”

She didn’t answer, just took a deep breath and flew out of bed, barely making it to the dark bathroom before Steve could hear her retching.

Steve slipped out of bed and turned the light on in their room, leaning into the bathroom doorway. The light was enough to illuminate her on her knees in the still dark bathroom, head pressed on her crossed arms on the seat of the toilet. He was about to ask her if she was all right, but she started heaving again.

He pulled half of yet another of his clean undershirts from the table, one that hadn’t been sacrificed as a diaper yet, and ran it under cool water from the faucet. He crouched down next to her, setting it across the back of her neck. “Feel better?”

“God, no,” she muttered into the toilet.

“Here, sit back for a second,” He pulled her back against his arm and reached up, flushing away the remnants of her dinner as she focused on breathing slowly in and out. He took his free hand and wiped the cool cloth over her forehead. “What’s wrong?”

“Dinner, maybe?” She let her forehead rest on Steve’s shoulder as he laid the cloth back on the nape of her neck. “Feels like the word is spinning.”

He let his hand run gently up and down her back. “You don’t usually get dizzy with food poisoning until you’re dehydrated.” He was about to move her to sit in his lap when he felt his own stomach roll and recover as the boat took a steep dip to the side.

Peggy did not recover. Her head was back in the toilet, losing what little she had left in her stomach. Amanda was also awake now, screaming furiously. “Get her,” Peggy murmured into the toilet. “I’ll be a while yet I think.”

As Steve stood he felt the world tilt again and took a minute to get his footing. “Peg, do you get seasick?” He reached into the basket, picked the squealing girl up and held her tight.

“Not generally, no,” she replied. He heard the faucet run and the sound of her gargling. The boat pitched again. “Though I supposed there’s always- oh!” She didn’t finish her sentence, couldn’t as her body violently reacted to the lack of stability.

Amanda had calmed somewhat in Steve’s arms, but began hiccupping as he held her, and somewhere in time with Peggy’s heaving Amanda vomited as well. Nearly the whole bottle’s worth, he estimated, down the front of his last clean undershirt and all over her nightdress. She looked up at him, mollified for only a moment before she started crying again. “That makes two of you.”

The movement of the ship was rough under him, but he stayed steady as he laid a towel on the bed and stripped Amanda down to her diaper and cleaned up her chin with a clean corner of her already ruined nightdress. He took his own ruined shirt off and tossed the two over Peggy’s head to the floor of the shower. He’d clean them out later. By the time he had Amanda in a new nightdress she’d calmed a little, and holding her tight to his bare chest seemed to calm her further until she was just making soft mewling sounds at her discomfort.

“I think you’re both seasick,” Steve said as he sat himself on the floor of the bathroom, leaning back against the sink, Amanda still held tight against his chest in one arm. Peggy, pressed flat to the tile floor, only hummed in agreement. “Come here,” he prompted, holding his hand out. She slowly spun, stopping halfway through to take a deep, slow breath, and eventually made her way so her head was pillowed on Steve’s thigh. “Feeling any better?”

“Not at all,” Peggy muttered. She reached up and started pulling her pin curls out, letting the pins clatter to the tile below them. “Headache,” she justified.

Steve used his free hand to help her pull each and every one out, then ran his fingers gently through her hair, massaging her scalp. “Better?”

She hummed, still focusing on keeping her breathing even to slow the spasms in her stomach. “What happened to your shirt?”

“Amanda decided she didn’t like it.” He looked over at the baby in his other arm who had slowly started to let her eyes drift closed. “It was my last clean one, and I don’t want to wear a button down to bed.”

“Not complaining,” Peggy muttered, her voice full of sleep.

Steve didn’t even entertain the idea of moving, not when both his girls seemed so comfortable on him. He wasn’t sure when in the last three days he’d decided they were both his girls, but he wasn’t arguing with the protective impetus right now.

He leaned his head back against the cabinet in the still dark bathroom as Peggy’s breathing started to slow and even out. He could feel the boat shifting below him and knew the water hadn’t been this rough yesterday. He wondered if they were moving quickly away from a U-Boat or if they’d come across a storm. He kept his fingers moving slowly in Peggy’s hair, content as Amanda’s breathing and squirming finally started to slow as sleep overtook her, too.

~*~

* * *

Another series of pitches about an hour later left Peggy scrambling to her knees, dry heaving into the toilet. Steve managed to get Amanda in her bassinet without waking her and returned to the bathroom to hold Peggy’s hair back.

“Oh, there’s nothing left to come up,” she moaned as she spat bile into the toilet.

Steve handed her a glass of water, which she gladly swished around her mouth and spat out before trying a tiny sip. The water made her stomach roil but didn’t come back up. She sat, leaning back against the wall across from the toilet and closed her eyes, trying to get her stomach to calm.

Steve crouched next to her, pushing the hair back from her face. “It’s gotten rough.”

“No shit,” she bit out, before turning, and looking at him with heavy lidded eyes. “Sorry, I’m not a good patient.”

“And I’m no nurse,” he kissed her temple. “You ok here for a minute?”

She closed her eyes again and tipped her head against the wall. “Seems so.”

Steve stood and ventured back to the bedroom. A quick inspection told him nothing was bolted down and it would all move easily. He started with the dresser on his side of the bed, lifting it up and away to the middle of the room. He gently shifted Amanda in her bassinet to the floor and started on the bed, sliding it across the room so his side was butted up against the wall. He put Amanda back on the bed and the dresser filled the hole against the wall on Peggy’s side.

While they’d been sleeping in the bathroom he realized he quite liked the arrangement. He wanted to be closer to Peggy, especially with her feeling unwell, but couldn’t let Amanda roll or slide off the side of the bed. His solution was simple: add a wall, and there was plenty of room for all three without the risk of the baby falling out of the bed.

“What are you doing?” Peggy called out.

He slid the table and chairs out of the center of the room and up against the wall opposite of the bed, giving Peggy a clear run to the bathroom if necessary again. “Light redecorating,” he replied. He shifted Amanda’s bassinet against the wall, the baby starting to fuss again as he could feel the boat starting to rock once more, and leaned on the bathroom door jamb. “Think you can get into bed?”

Peggy held out a shaking hand, embarrassed. “Not sure I could get my legs under me.”

Steve didn’t hesitate; he just dropped low and swept her up in his arms. “Ready?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hummed appreciatively. He took the few steps to get them to the side of the bed and sat, laying her out before he scooted back and in between her and the basket. He reached up, hitting the light switch that was now overhead, and twisted, pulling the once again fussing baby from the basket. He settled down, letting Amanda lay over his heart with his hand on her back to keep her close and pulling Peggy in tight to his side, his other arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“I think I like this better,” her voice was tired, and just a twinge shaky.

“Good.” He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her gently. “Now sleep.”

~*~

* * *

They were up several times in the early morning hours, Peggy dry heaving what little was left in her system and Amanda crying pitifully as Steve tried to figure out how to quell her misery.

Somewhere around five in the morning Steve gave up on getting any more sleep and was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to get Amanda to take at least something from her bottle. “You have to be thirsty,” he kept repeating, “just a little, please.”

Peggy crawled next to him, hair slicked back and her nightgown sticking to her after breaking out in a cold sweat this last time the heaves had overtaken her, and leaned her head on his shoulder. “We’re quite the pair.” Peggy managed a genuine smile when Amanda finally latched on to the bottle. “Ah, yes, good job little lady!”

Amanda managed a few mouthfuls before she spit the nipple out and fussed again. Steve moved her back to his shoulder over the towel he’d been using as a burp cloth and started rubbing her back. “I know you can do better than that,” he murmured, looking at her small, scrunched face which was regarding him with quite a lot of distaste, “You’ll feel better.”

Peggy leaned back on the bed, curling on to her side. “She might not, if I’m any indication.”

“Keep any water down yet?” he asked without looking at her.

“Nu uh,” she hummed in the negative, taking a slow, measured breath.

“It’s almost breakfast.” Steve stopped his rhythm on Amanda’s back to pull a stray hair away from Peggy’s face and tuck it behind her ear. “Howard’s bound to have something for seasickness on board.”

Peggy laughed lightly. “If I knew all I had to do to get you nearly naked was vomit on you I’d have done it ages ago.”

“First,” Steve laughed, letting his hand settle on her hip, “Amanda lost her dinner on me, not you. Second,” he smiled and kissed her head, “All you have to do is ask.”

Peggy’s eyes took on a dreamy look as her exhaustion started to kick in and she yawned. “Then I’m submitting a formal request for you to spend more time in only your general issue boxer shorts.”

He stood, smiling brightly. “Request noted.” He kept Amanda tucked tightly in his arm and used his free hand to pull the blanket over Peggy and tuck her in tightly. “Now sleep.”

She grabbed his hand briefly, wanting to maintain her connection with him but knowing she needed to surrender to sleep. He reached up, turned the light back off, and carefully found his way to a chair across the room.

He started a gentle rhythm, rocking back and forth, and started talking quietly to hopefully put Amanda to sleep. “So, there’s this girl who lives on a farm, and her name is Dorothy…”

~*~

* * *

“Peg. Peg?” Steve shook her. He hated to wake her when she was sleeping so soundly, but he couldn’t wait any longer.

Her eyes flickered open, looking at him up and down, fully dressed in his khaki pants and a button down. “I thought I told you less clothes?” She yawned and pulled the blanket up higher.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, crouching next to the bed and running a thumb over her chin.

She took his hand in hers and pressed it to her cheek. “Still vile, but not nearly as bad as last night.”

He smiled lightly. “Yeah, Amanda’s asleep, too. Seems to have calmed at bit.” He took her hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. “That’s why I woke you. I have to go check in with Howard. She’s asleep, but I didn’t want you to wake up without me here.”

She squeezed his hand. “We’ll be fine, take your time.”

“No, I’ll be back soon,” he tucked the blankets back up around her, “with something to help you.”

He watched her turn over, peaking in on the bassinet before snuggling back down and waving him away. “Go.”

He left, taking turns to the dining room quickly and making his way over to the table where Howard was.

“Where’s Peg?” Howard asked immediately, noticing how hurried Steve seemed.

“Sleeping, hopefully.” Steve sat, signaling the waiter for a cup of coffee. “She and Amanda spent the night alternately losing the contents of their stomachs.”

Howard nodded. “Them and half the boat.” Steve gratefully took the coffee and Howard waited as the waiter filled his own mug up. “Captain says this part of the ocean’s generally choppy, but there was a storm we steered around last night, making it worse.”

Steve looked at the breakfast menu and ordered quickly. “Have you got anything for either of them?”

Howard ordered his own breakfast and shook his head. “Nothing special or exciting. I’ll send Jarvis over right after breakfast with the usual- seasick pills and ginger tea.”

“Thanks,” Steve looked into the black coffee between his hands, suddenly feeling much more tired than he should. “About the tests?”

“They can wait until Peg’s feeling better,” Howard muttered, looking around the room where there were quite a few more empty seats than normal. “Captain said rough water’s not over.”

“Anything conclusive?”

Howard leaned back as their breakfast was swiftly delivered. “Conclusive? No. Interesting? Potentially.” He spread his napkin over his lap and smiled at Steve, “But nothing that can’t wait or can be changed at the moment.”

Steve started to cut through the eggs and toast on his plate and stopped, looking up at Howard. “If Amanda is…”

Howard nodded, his mouth full.

Steve leaned forward, eggs forgotten. “Why would she be seasick?”

Howard swallowed and took a minute to decide how he wanted to phrase things while they were out in the open. He pointed his knife at Steve, finally finding his phrasing. “Did you ever get seasick before Camp Lehigh?”

Steve shook his head. “I’d never been on a boat before that.”

Howard shrugged, cutting a piece of ham. “Not everyone gets seasick. You just might be lucky. Not everyone gets hit by bullets, either.” He took his knife and purposefully drove it into the hamsteak. “You get hit and you manage to shake it off.” He pulled his knife out and used the knife and fork in his hands to push the hole back together. “Get it?” Steve nodded; Howard was referencing his ability to heal quickly. “But say, it just kept coming…” Howard put the knife back into the meat, and tried to squeeze the hole closed while the knife was still in it. “Can’t shake it off.” He finished slicing the ham and put it in his mouth, chewing quickly. “Doesn’t matter how fast you can get better if your body isn’t given the chance.”

“True,” Steve nodded, lifting his fork again. He would heal around bullets, almost too quickly, but right where that bullet was always stayed raw and jagged until it had been pulled out.

“Besides,” Howard gulped down his coffee, “We don’t even know if she is or isn’t.”

Steve just drank his own coffee and kept that little piece of knowledge to himself for the moment.

~*~

* * *

They were both sound asleep when Steve slipped back into the dark cabin and he decided to stay as quiet as possible as long as he could. Mr. Jarvis would be there soon enough and wake them both. He stepped into the bathroom, closing the door most of the way before flicking the light on. He started running the hot water, rolled up his sleeves, and reached for the vomit covered shirt and nightdress in the corner of the shower. He could at least clean up from last night and catch them up on diapers in the meantime.

He was elbow deep in the sink, scrubbing the cloths clean, when he felt the boat shift drastically again. Amanda started to stir first, but Peggy’s moan wasn’t far behind. He’d only just picked Amanda up from the bassinet when she let loose the little she had in her stomach that he’d been able to get in her this morning, ruining another of Steve’s shirts.

“You’re wearing too much and she knows it,” Peggy mumbled between pitiful moans. She sat up anyway and held her hands out. “Give her to me, and get that soaking. As much as I enjoy the sight, you’ll have no clothes left by the time we make it to New York.”

Steve had just pulled his shirt off when Mr. Jarvis was knocking on the door. He snatched a clean one from the drawer and slipped it on, waiting until Peggy had made herself as presentable as she was going to get covered up in bed holding the crying baby before he opened the door.

Mr. Jarvis smiled at Steve and pushed past him with a rolling cart. “Mr. Stark told me Mrs. Ryan and little Amanda were feeling poorly and asked me to bring some supplies by.” He dipped his head at Steve and Peggy in greeting, though he looked slightly scandalized by Peggy’s disheveled state and Steve still buttoning up his shirt.

“Thank you, Mr. Jarvis, anything you have would be much appreciated.” Peggy held the crying baby close, smiling tightly.

“Of course,” Jarvis looked around for the table and wheeled his cart towards it. “I see you’ve redecorated.”

“Just a little,” Steve muttered, following Jarvis and watching as he laid several plates out on the table.

He set it out as if it were for a king, and Steve wondered at how he treated such meager things as if it were a generous bounty. He understood why Howard took this man with him wherever he went. “I brought an assortment of things that may be helpful. First,” he pointed to each item as he spoke, “Mothersill’s Seasick Remedy for Mrs. Ryan. It has quite the good track record and should work quite quickly. In the meantime, there’s lemon and ginger tea. It has quite the bite, but will calm a roiling stomach swiftly. There’s a small selection of toast and bread, as well, should the lady feel like eating.”

Steve picked up the bottle of pills and poured two in his hand, walking them over to Peggy right away. “This is great, thank you Jarvis.”

Jarvis poured a cup of tea and was right behind Steve, handing it to Peggy once she shifted Amanda to Steve’s arms. “You are most welcome. I sincerely hope you start to feel better soon.” Both men watched as she drank the tea cautiously, taking the pills once she could feel the warmth of the tea coating her stomach.

The boat pitched enough so they could all feel it. Peggy braced for another wave of nausea, which seemed to be somewhat reduced already, but Amanda let out a sharp wail. Steve tried to calm her, holding her tight to try to ground her.

Jarvis held up a finger and turned back to his cart. “My wife and I are not yet parents, but she has quite a bit of experience with children.” He unveiled a small covered steel dish. “My wife suggests adding a bit of grated ginger root directly to the next bottle. She was very specific: just a pinch, as it is quite pungent.”

Steve shifted Amanda and moved over to the vanity. “I’ll make one right now.” Mr. Jarvis watched as he maneuvered the bottle and water and powdered formula with only one hand, holding the small bottle out for Jarvis to sprinkle the smallest bit of ginger in before he capped it with one hand and shook it.

“That is quite impressive, Mr. Ryan,” Jarvis watched Steve shift the baby gently as he sat, aiming the bottle at her scrunched up lips. “If I may ask, how long did it take for you to get so adept at juggling the little one and your other tasks?”

Steve looked up at Peggy, a silent conversation in their eyes hidden as Peggy sipped her tea and Amanda finally latched on. “It happened surprisingly quick. So quick I wouldn’t have believed it.”

Mr. Jarvis smiled softly, “Quite so. Well, I will leave you to rest. Mr. Ryan, please do not hesitate.”

“Your help has been much appreciated,” Steve replied.

“Yes,” Peggy smiled, “I’m already feeling better.”

He took a small bow and stepped quickly to the door. “I’ll stop by at noon with a selection of sandwiches for lunch and a fresh pot of tea. Mr. Stark was quite insistent that you all stay in this afternoon.” He slipped out as quickly as he’d come.

“You’re really feeling better?” Steve asked.

“The tea’s helping take the edge off,” she sipped it again. “It’s something.”

He nodded, eyes on the baby. “She’s hasn’t eaten like this in a while. I think it’s a good sign.”

The boat lurched again and Steve held Peggy’s gaze. Her eyes were wide and she took a slow breath. “Holding steady for the moment,” she reported, more than a little pleased with her body. She sipped the tea slowly, and though she knew that the warm feeling in her stomach was more than likely just the heat from her beverage, Peggy thought it might also be from the sight of Steve holding little Amanda so dearly, talking softly to her as she gulped down her bottle. “You’re very good at telling stories,” Peggy shifted her teacup to the table beside her. “I caught most of the black and white section of The Wizard of Oz before I fell asleep last night.”

“Shame,” Steve replied, not embarrassed at all that he was caught. “You missed my impression of the Lollipop Guild. The story really picks up once it’s in color.”

Peggy sat up taller and reached over past her teacup for the comb that was on the nightstand. She pulled at the end of her hair, starting to comb out the tangles from sleeping without it pinned up. “What story’s next?”

“Oh, I was thinking Snow White,” Steve set the empty bottle on the table next to him and smiled down at the finally content baby. “I don’t think you’re ready for the Marx Brothers quite yet.”

“Who is,” Peggy mumbled, trying to pull the comb through a nasty tangle.

Steve stood, moving over to the bed. “Trade you.” He held Amanda out and she quickly snuggled into Peggy’s embrace, content to be held now that her stomach was full and calm. Steve took the comb, moved the pillows and leaned on the headboard as he settled behind Peggy and started to work out the snarls gently.

“Now you’re a hair stylist?” Peggy asked, making silly faces at Amanda, causing her to giggle riotously at each one.

“I can see the knots better than you can,” he justified.

Peggy laid the girl between her outstretched legs and unswaddled her. “That ratted?” She let the baby grab hold of her fingers and try to shove them in her mouth. “Now you know why I sleep with it pinned up.”

“It’s not really that bad,” he conceded as he got one section to comb through easily and paused, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I’m feeling…”

“Go on,” she prompted, still letting Amanda play with her fingers.

“A little useless.” He leaned back and started on the next section of hair.

Peggy turned, looking him right in the eyes with as much ferocity as she could muster. “You are the farthest thing from useless and I’ll not even entertain that idea any further.” She pulled a hand out of Amanda’s grip and let it sit on Steve’s thigh. “I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without you, including taking care of her this morning.” She kissed him on the cheek and turned back to Amanda, shaking her head. “You’re the farthest thing from useless, you ridiculous man.”

Steve started up the gentle strokes on her hair again, but didn’t say anything for the longest time, just let the comb run though each section, holding tight as he picked out knots and pressing long strokes through as each little piece came loose. “I think I get it now, how you were feeling when we first arrived.”

“And how’s that?” Peggy tickled Amanda’s feet, the baby laughing as she pulled them back.

He stilled, leaning his head between her shoulder blades. She could feel him shake it side to side. “Kind of like I want to shoot a torpedo.”

Peggy leaned forward, talking directly to Amanda in a light, happy tone. “I did not say I wanted to shoot a torpedo. That was your-“ She stopped ‘father’ from coming out of her mouth just fast enough and swallowed the word quickly. She turned, meeting Steve’s gaze when he lifted his head. “That was what you said, I believe.”

“At the moment it seems like a completely rational reaction,” He took her head in his hands and turned it back, moving on to the last section of hair. “Just… just let me do this, ok?”

“Oh, I’m not complaining at all,” she replied, smiling down at Amanda. “It’s helping me feel a bit more human.”

“Your color is better, too,” Steve finished and started sweeping the comb over in large sections, making sure he hadn’t missed anything.

She leaned back into his arms as he put the comb on the side table. “If I ever get the energy I’ll endeavor to shower.”

Steve dropped a kiss on her shoulder, right near where two healed, pink scars peaked out from the shoulder of her nightgown. “These are healing well.”

She hummed in agreement. “And I walked five miles back to camp after I got those. Pain I can handle, a little nausea and I’m the worst patient in the world.”

“Not the worst,” he reassured. He pulled the tea from the side table and handed it to her. “Get some more of this in you while it’s still hot. Howard said it’s likely to get worse again today.”


	6. Riding Out the Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy continues to fight against her seasickness as they start to remember the reality of their situation.

Her hot shower felt like heaven. The nausea was at bay for the moment even though she could feel the swaying of the boat start to pick up again. She’d been sticky and shivering in turns last night, breaking into cold sweats as her body heaved out the little that had been in it. She toweled herself dry and wrapped herself up in her soft black robe, her nightgown and slip both drying next to Amanda’s clean nappies and Steve’s shirts. Their bathroom was more like a laundry room at this point and she’d give anything for a proper line to hang things over so they would dry quickly. Peggy combed out her hair, remembering the feel of Steve’s hands in it, and took her time arranging and pinning new curls and waves that would hopefully last her the rest of the week.

Beyond the door she could hear the low timbre of Steve’s voice talking to Amanda. It comforted Peggy, too, to hear him ramble on about nothing and everything throughout the day, to see him make faces just to get a smile out of the little girl. With each hour they’d gotten more adept at Amanda’s moment-to-moment needs and were able to simply enjoy the tiny personality that was blossoming within her.

With her eyes closed last night, listening to him tell the story of a little farmgirl from Kansas, Peggy had slipped between dreams and reality and felt utterly warm and happy as she finally drifted off to sleep right around when the tornado lifted the farmhouse off the ground. She’d dreamed in vague abstracts, coming to with waves of nausea between dreams of a little blue house surrounded by a white picket fence with tiny children playing in the backyard and images of Steve draped in children: a baby in his arms and a toddler hanging from his massive bicep like a monkey, smiling brightly at her.

She’d never much wanted those things before. In some way she’d always believed she’d end up with them: a woman wasn’t good for much to society after a certain age or without a husband to take care of her, and though she planned on living her life the way she wanted for as long as she could, she couldn’t much see the SSR keeping her around after wartime. Until now, that domestic life had always just been a back up, something that would be there when she’d completed all of her other goals and made the life she wanted.

With tangible proof of how wonderful it could be in her hands and in her bed every night over the last few days she found it was something she desperately wanted, but only if it with Steve. She’d never had such a visceral reaction to a man treating her so gently or interacting with a child around her. This was like a peek into a future she could have, and she desperately found herself wanting it.

The tone of Steve’s voice outside the door changed: it became lighter and more rhythmic. Peggy couldn’t help but smile as she realized he was singing. She cracked the door just slightly to see Steve swaying in the room, his voice low and quiet as the babe smiled up at him. “Mandy, there’s a minister handy, and it sure would be dandy, if we let him make a fee.”

She pushed the door open just a little further, listening as he danced Amanda around the small open space by the vanity. “So don’t you linger, here’s the ring for your finger. Isn’t it a humdinger? Come along and let the wedding chimes bring happy times for Mandy and me.”

She pushed out of the bathroom, the robe fluttering around her legs as she moved toward him. “I didn’t know you could sing.”

Steve spun, cheeks more than a little red at being caught. “Well, if you can call that singing…” He let the sentence die out, hiding his embarrassment. He held his free arm out and she stepped in to his embrace as he kept the rhythm of the song going with each swaying step. Amanda fussed in his arms and he picked up on the verse. “I was strolling out one evening by the silvery moon, I could hear somebody singing a familiar tune. So I stopped a while to listen, not a word I wanted to miss, it was just somebody serenading something like this.”

Peggy pressed tight into his shoulder, humming along as he sang the chorus again and swayed the two of them around the room. He didn’t stop swaying, even when he finished singing. “I haven’t heard that one in a long time.”

“My mom loved it,” he said, laying his cheek on the crown of her head. “She used to sing it around the house all the time.”

Peggy swayed in time with him, her voice light and dreamy. “It’s lovely.”

“Feel better?”

“Much.” Peggy leaned forward, tickling Amanda’s cheek. “How’s our little Mandy doing?”

“Sounds nice, right?” He smiled, lifting his head. “Still holding strong for the moment.”

“You know,” Peggy kissed him softly, “You’re doing very well for someone that doesn’t dance.”

Steve kissed her again tenderly, “This is swaying. Dancing requires more movement.”

Amanda shrieked, pouting and drawing both of their attention.

Peggy smiled at her, “Jealous, are you?” Peggy smacked a loud kiss on her cheek and Mandy laughed riotously in return. “Wherever did you get such chubby cheeks young lady?”

Steve looked down, noticing that her cheeks did seem rosier. “She’s smiling more, I think, and feeling better. Makes them stand out.”

Peggy nodded, tickling the girl under her chin. She squirmed and dug her chin into her shoulder, presenting a cheek to Peggy. Peggy kissed it again with the same response of laughter, except this time Mandy turned to look up at Steve when she was done giggling, who it seemed was disappointing her that he wasn’t joining in. Peggy joined Mandy in her stare, “Come on, then!”

Steve leaned down, mimicking Peggy’s easy affection though he felt somewhat more awkward about it. Mandy’s reaction was somewhat smaller, a tiny hiccupped laugh, but it grew to great wails of laughter as Steve repeated the kisses, getting more and more comfortable with it with each repetition.

By the time Mr. Jarvis knocked on the door, they were taking turns kissing her cheeks and tickling under her chin, the simple game that was profoundly amusing to the baby. Peggy stepped out of Steve’s embrace to get the door, eyes and heart filled with happiness.

“Mrs. Ryan, I’m so glad to see you up and about!” Jarvis greeted her wholeheartedly. He slid past with his ever-present cart. “Mr. Ryan, how’s young Amanda doing?”

Steve stepped over, letting Jarvis see the girl’s happy face that she was currently trying to use to burrow into Steve’s shoulder with the appearance of someone she didn’t know well. “See for yourself. That ginger was a godsend.”

Jarvis smiled as he leaned over the little girl. “I’m so glad. Most of the boat has taken ill, unfortunately, due to the turbulence. The Captain has reported there are several storms in our vicinity and the rocking is not likely to let up until tomorrow morning.”

“We must stay vigilant, then,” Peggy replied, stacking her empty teacup and the dishes that Jarvis had dropped off that morning.

“Yes,” Jarvis took the dirty dishes from her and slipped them on the lower level of the cart before laying out the new dishes. “A hot pot of tea and warm toast for Mrs. Ryan and a selection of finger sandwiches and fresh fruit salad for Mr. Ryan. There is still sufficient ginger for the little one’s bottles, yes?” He looked over at the vanity where the little silver dish sat.

“Yes, more than enough,” Steve replied, sitting and settling Amanda in his lap.

“Fantastic. Mr. Stark has asked me to bring your dinner in your room tonight, but hopes you’ll be able to join him for breakfast in the morning.” Jarvis turned toward Peggy, reaching into his coat. “Mrs. Jarvis was quite sad to hear you were unwell. She hopes that you’re feeling better. In the meantime, it seems she’s decided to focus on her knitting.” Jarvis held out a small knitted toy: a soft yellow teddy bear with embroidered eyes and nose and a red ribbon bow around his neck.

“Mr. Jarvis, this is gorgeous!” Peggy took the small doll from him, looking at it. “Ana made this?”

“Yes, she started on it last night.” He looked back and forth between Steve and Peggy as she moved across the room, taking the bear and handing it to Amanda, who promptly dropped it. “I’m both quite elated and somewhat terrified to say that your daughter has quite inspired my wife to start actively planning for our own future children.”

Peggy couldn’t help but smile as she picked up the bear and waited until Mandy had her fist wrapped tightly around it before she let go. “Well, Mr. Jarvis, if that’s the case then I can’t imagine taking up any more of your valuable family planning time.”

“Please, take up all that you like.” Jarvis fidgeted. “She is quite incessant once she latches onto an idea.”

“Well, tell her thank you for the bear,” Steve’s quick reflexes grabbed the bear before Mandy could drop it to the floor again. “It’s really very sweet.”

Peggy hid her face, looking away as Jarvis left. She was still crouched at Steve’s knee, hands holding the bear as Amanda hit it and tried to figure out how to use her hands to grip it.

“Peg?” Steve looked down at her, but her face was hidden from him, and she hadn’t moved in long, quiet seconds. When she finally looked back up at him there were unshed tears in her eyes. 

He gave her time as she tried to take a deep breath without letting the tears loose, but when her words finally came, they cracked with emotion and the tears trickled over her cheeks. “She’s never had a toy.” She took a deep breath, shutting her eyes tightly.

Steve stood, pulling Peggy up with him. He stepped away, leaving her feeling alone and silly and vulnerable for the few seconds it took for him to put Mandy and her bear in the bassinet and cross back over to her.

When his arms wrapped around her she couldn’t hold back. As he enveloped her the tears finally came. She’d fought every ghastly image for almost four days now. She’d let the fantasy overpower the reality.

That lab they’d pulled Amanda from didn’t have a crib or a bassinet in it. There wasn’t anything soft or fun or stimulating for the babe. There was no nursery on that base or bottles or burp cloths hanging around. There were hard metal surfaces and trays full of needles in the room. There was one scratchy blanket and an ill-fitting diaper. And the people of that base had abandoned her as soon as the Commandos had even gotten close.

Steve let her cry and held her tight until she started to finally catch her breath. “She has one now,” he whispered, “and she has us.”

She pushed away from his chest, forcing herself out of the memories and harshly rubbing her tears away. “For now.”

Steve watched her walk away and couldn’t help but feel a sinking feeling in his stomach as Peggy poured herself a cup of tea. ‘For now’ didn’t seem quite as promising as it had the other night when they were talking about enjoying each other and the boat’s luxuries. Now, it seemed like a ticking clock with an end none of them would like.

Lunch was a tense affair, Peggy quiet and contemplative as she nibbled on toast and Steve not knowing exactly what to say that would make any difference. He ate quietly across from her, more unsure about what to say to her than he had been in a very long time. Steve excused himself to the gym, claiming he had to burn off energy but knowing it was more anger and anxiety that he needed to get out of his system.

No, he hadn’t seen the room, but he’d seen other Hydra labs and it didn’t take a big jump of imagination for him to think about what they had done or were going to do to the little girl.

The gym was mostly empty as the boat started to pitch hard once again. He looked back at the doors he’d just come through and fought the urge to go check on the girls. He and Peggy needed a little time apart. He needed her to figure out how to say whatever was locked tight behind her lips and he needed to understand whatever was twisting his stomach in knots ever since she’d uttered “For now.”

He picked up the jump rope and started skipping at a fierce speed. He tried to have faith that wherever they were bringing the girl she’d be safe and well cared for, but after Howard has been so glib about it the day before he couldn’t quite make himself believe that Mandy was in for a typical American childhood.

She healed quickly. It was enough evidence that there was something special about her. He knew how he was treated the days after Erskine’s experiment, and he’d been a fully grown man that was completely mentally and physically capable of saying no and putting a stop to tests that ran took long and needles that poured too many vials of blood from his arms. She was a baby. She didn’t have that capability.

Steve dropped the rope to the side and fell to the floor for push-ups. If Howard wasn’t going to be in charge of her, who would be? Who would speak for her? Who would take care of her?

Who would tell her stories at night and buy her toys?

He pushed harder, lifting one arm behind his back. He let the anger flow thorough him, switching arms with each press up from the floor. His mind wandered to darker thoughts, thoughts about what Hydra had planned for her, what they had wanted to teach her, and how far his own government might go.

The boat tipped under him and it threw him off just enough that he missed his next switch, his chest slamming into the floor as the boat came up to meet his falling body. It knocked the wind out of him and he rolled to his back, fighting to catch his breath. He was tired and sweaty, but didn’t feel all that much better.

~*~

* * *

Peggy was laying in the middle of the bed with Amanda between her and the wall, the little girl trying to fit the head of the bear in her mouth. “…and Christopher Robin and Piglet all were his friends. Sometimes, they’d go visit Owl.” Peggy sighed, her eyes watching as Amanda focused on the bear and not on her words. “Steve is much better at the stories. I don’t much remember exactly what they all do, except throw sticks off a bridge and Pooh keeps getting stuck in honey jars.”

Peggy stroked her fingers over Mandy’s day dress, flattening it out where she’d kicked it up as she played. Peggy tugged at the hem, the girl’s tiny toes sticking out the bottom. “The stories are quite good, though, and I can read a book out loud with the best of them, I’ll have you know that.”

Mandy cooed at her, pushing the bear towards Peggy’s chest. “For me? Thank you my darling." She picked it up and hugged it with exaggerated happiness, then handed it back to Mandy. “For you!” Mandy grabbed at it, but her motor skills were still lacking and it took a few tries before her thin fingers wrapped around an arm.

Steve returned, opening the door quietly to see Mandy push the bear once again into Peggy. She repeated her actions, hugging the doll before returning it to Mandy and looking up at Steve.

He was sweaty and tired in a way she only ever saw him after a mission or when something was bothering him. She sat tall and didn’t hesitate. “I’m sorry for being a right prat.”

He shook his head, crossing the room and sitting heavily on the bed at her feet. He reached out and took her hand. “No, you’re right. We let this get away from us.”

Peggy squeezed his hand tight. “I don’t know what to do about it,” she quietly admitted. “We’re going to have to take her somewhere where she won’t have a family, won’t have toys… I just keep thinking the worst.”

“There’s nothing to do,” he replied, shaking his head and looking over at Amanda who was completely enthralled by her toy bear. “I tried to come up with something, anything, that we could do right now, but we’re doing it.”

Peggy mirrored his dour expression. “Playing house and waiting until we get to New York.”

“We won’t know what we’re up against until then.” He looked at her seriously. “We protect her, keep her safe, and give her what we can. Once we know what we’re up against…” He didn’t finish the sentence; just nodded like that would be the thing that would finally give them the last puzzle piece.

She tugged on his hand, tipping her head and inviting him to join her on the bed. He wrapped himself around her from behind, his head just above hers to watch Amanda as she alternately tried to eat and play with the small bear. Peggy’s voice was light but full of heavy meaning. “I think we’re back to shooting at torpedoes.”

He hummed in agreement, his fingers brushing over the softness of the robe she still wore. “Phillips said we keep her safe at all costs. I don’t plan on letting her out of my sight until I know she’s safe.”

Peggy snuggled back into his embrace even more. “What’s happened to us in the last few days?”

Steve had figured that out somewhere between pushups and pummeling the punching bag. The war seemed far away. It seemed inconsequential. And without the immediate threat of gunfire or the mud-ridden tents to remind them, it was so very, very easy to pretend. It was easy to pretend they had the luxury of being in love and playing house and pretending that there weren’t heavy consequences to be had once they arrived in New York. Steve laced his fingers with hers, holding tight around her waist as he lifted his head and kissed her cheek. “We forgot about the war.”

~*~

* * *

Jarvis was punctual, knocking on the door with dinner precisely when he said he’d be there. He wheeled his cart in and set about swapping out the plates on the table with swift ease.

“Settle an argument for us, Mr. Jarvis,” Peggy was leaning over the edge of the bed, putting the last pin through a fresh diaper.

“I’ll do my best.” He set out a replacement pot of ginger tea and swapped out the small container of shaved ginger for the baby.

Peggy lifted Amanda to her shoulder and asked the question, as serious as if she’d asked the position of a Hydra camp. “Did Christopher Robin live in the Hundred Acre Wood, or did he visit the Hundred Acre Wood?”

Jarvis stared as Steve walked between them from the bathroom to the vanity, starting to make another bottle, muttering what Jarvis assumed had been his side in the discussion, “Can’t have lived there, he doesn’t have a house.”

Peggy pursed her lips and didn’t drop her stare from Jarvis. “Mr. Jarvis? What do you say?”

He stuttered, turning back to focus on plates. “Well, it has been quite some time, but I do believe he lived outside the Wood.”

“Ha!” Steve’s exclamation of victory was punctuated with a kiss on Peggy’s cheek as he handed her a bottle. “What did I say?”

“It has been quite some time, though,” Mr. Jarvis repeated, feeling like an interloper as they looked at one another for a long beat that seemed filled with much more than just made-up bears. He turned and put the rest of the plates out. “Hot soup for the cold night,” he announced as the both turned to him. “Chicken and vegetable soup with hard crusted bread.”

“Smells great,” Steve leaned over the bowls, sniffing deeply.

“I do hope you’ll try some,” Jarvis looked pointedly at Peggy, “Toast and tea can only go so far.”

“I will do my best,” Peggy swayed gently with Amanda as she ate greedily from her bottle.

He looked around expectantly, “Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Peggy moved to sit on the bed. Even though she did want to eat, she wasn’t quite ready to try eating hot soup while she fed the baby. “No, but please tell Ana the bear has been a hit all afternoon, she’s barely put it down.”

Jarvis smiled. “How wonderful. And quite auspicious, as I believe she’s started on another animal for the young miss. A bunny, I believe.”

“That is far too kind, but I don’t want your wife wasting her time on us,” Peggy retorted, hating the idea of Ana trapped inside and knitting all day, especially as they were still keeping the truth from her.

“Oh, she’s more than happy to do it. Isn’t much interested in other activities, and I admit I have more than enough scarves.” Jarvis gulped. “Plus, I must say, it keeps her mind on your baby and not…our… potential offspring.”

Steve laughed, clapping Jarvis on the shoulder gently. “In that case I think we’ll have a menagerie by the time we reach New York.”

~*~

* * *

As the sun set lower the water started to get rougher. Mandy wasn’t nearly as fussy as she had been the night before, but it was clear the ginger could only do so much. Peggy was also leaps and bounds better than she had been the previous night, but she was starting to breathe heavy and slow again.

“Getting worse?” Steve asked from the bed where he and Mandy were laying on their stomachs, facing one another. Peggy hummed and in response and sipped the last of the tea from dinner. “What time do you get to take more of the pills?”

She leaned to get a look at the clock. “Not too long, but it’s close enough it shouldn’t hurt.” She pulled the bottle from the table next to her and took two, chasing them with tea. “I’d very much like to keep my dinner down today.”

“Everyone should keep their dinner down tonight,” Steve supplied, lifting Amanda off the bed and holding her against his chest. He tossed a towel down on the bed and laid her on it, changing her diaper then changing her into a nightdress before setting her in her bassinet.

Peggy yawned, leaning her head on her crossed arms. “It’s too early for bed.”

Steve stripped out of his clothes and down to his boxers, laying his clothes neatly on the chair across from Peggy. “Maybe. But you didn’t sleep well last night. Or the night before that. Or the night before-“

Peggy held up a hand but didn’t move her head. “Point taken.”

Steve reached out and took her hand, pulling her up despite her vocal protest. He held her tight against his chest. “I’m already in uniform.”

Peggy let her hands roam over his shoulders and down his back, her interest present but tempered by the exhaustion she felt. “And what a lovely uniform it is.”

Steve’s hands played with the ties of her robe. She’d been wearing it all afternoon, and he’d only been slightly aware of the fact there was almost nothing on underneath. “I tend to follow orders.” He leaned forward, letting his lips trace the edge of her jaw.

“There is a child in the room, Captain.” She tilted her head back to give him better access despite her chiding him.

He licked down her collarbone and brushed the robe off her shoulder. “She’s too short to see over the edge of the bassinet.”

Peggy started to laugh but was interrupted by her stomach flipping in a way that was not caused by Steve’s ministrations or wandering hands. She stiffened up and he noticed immediately. “Peg?”

“Don’t think those pills have quite kicked in yet,” she mumbled, letting her hands slide down his arms to loosen her grip on him. She felt the boat move this time, and Steve’s hands went from sensual to holding her steady as she held her breath.

“Breathe, Peg.”

She let the breath out cautiously and her cheeks went red. “I’d very much prefer to not lose my dinner on you while we’re kissing. Bad impression, that.”

Steve pulled her close and rubbed his hand up and down her back soothingly. “Be a champ, Peg. Dinner stayed down this long.”

She tucked her head under his chin. “Believe me, I’m trying to keep it that way.”

His chuckle didn’t bother her all that much. “Come on, get ready for bed.” He gently walked them back towards the bathroom where her nightgown was hanging. He kissed her on the forehead, “We’ll be waiting.”

Peggy was quick in the bathroom, taking slow, long breaths as she changed into her nightgown and touched up the pins in her hair. When she came out the room was already dark, but she could see Steve’s outline on the bed and the blankets pushed back on her side.

She crawled in, molding to his side mostly by touch and settling with her head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her. “Good?”

“Getting there,” she let her hand move over his heart, lulled to sleep by the sounds of his breathing.


	7. Good News and Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Peggy finally sit down with Howard to discuss the results of the bloodwork as they discover they’re not as anonymous onboard as they think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal is to continue to update once a week, usually on the Friday or Saturday. I’m still writing this so I’m afraid to update too quickly and not be able to go back and make important edits. Mid-week updates are based on whim (and the fact that I won’t be able to update this weekend.) I’m also doing this without a beta, so please be kind.

“Don’t tell me Steve’s yakking his guts out now,” Howard whined as Peggy joined him at breakfast, parking the pram tight next to her.

Peggy shook her head and rolled her eyes as she sat. “Not at all. He’s the only one with a strong stomach in our cabin it seems.”

Howard sobered, a gentle smile on his lips. “I am glad to see you’re better, Peg.”

She’d taken her time this morning making sure she looked as immaculate as ever. Even with her stomach feeling achy and her muscles sore from the heaving, her morning rituals made a big difference for her mental state. “Thank you.” She pulled the napkin from the table and set it in her lap. “And thank you for sending Jarvis this morning to change out the linens since we’ve kept housekeeping out of our cabin. Steve insisted on helping him.”

Howard laughed. “Of course Steve would help a Butler change the linens.” Howard leaned over the pram, peeking at the sleeping baby. “He does know that’s his job, right? That I’m paying him?”

Peggy nodded, humoring Howard. “Yes, he does know that.” Peggy tried to find a way to phrase her words without upsetting Howard. “But Mr. Jarvis doesn’t have a key, so Steve figured he’d stay behind to make sure everything was locked up tight after he was done.”

Howard frowned, “Peg, I trust Jarvis with my life. You two, can, too.”

“Be that as it may,” Peggy held his gaze, “the decision was made.”

He relented, but clearly wasn’t happy about it as Steve joined them. “Jarvis do a good job?”

Steve picked up on Howard’s moodiness immediately. “He did.” Steve laid his napkin in his lap as the waiter rounded the table, filling their mugs with coffee and bringing Peggy’s tea. “We actually spent most of the time talking about cricket and baseball.” Steve waited until the waiter walked away with their breakfast orders before he spoke again. “You know why I stayed.”

“You don’t trust my judgment,” Howard argued. 

“I trust your judgment,” Steve replied, arms leaning forward, “What I don’t trust is other people’s motivation. You know how important this is.”

“You can trust Jarvis,” Howard matched Steve, eyes serious.

“I’m fairly certain we can,” Peggy replied. “But standard procedure is standard procedure, Howard. And I wasn’t lying,” Peggy leaned back and sipped her tea, “Mr. Jarvis said he didn’t have a key.”

Howard pressed his lips together as their breakfast was set before them. He gulped down his coffee, finally relenting as the waiter left them once again. “Fine. I understand. I don’t much like it, but I understand.” He picked up his fork, trying to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s eat then we can head down to my office.”

~*~

* * *

Steve held the door open as Peggy pushed the pram back into their cabin. “I can’t believe we forget a bottle,” he murmured, but stopped talking as Peggy put her hand on his chest.

“I’m so forgetful these days,” Peggy’s face was serious despite her ridiculous words. She pointed at the bed, where she’d asked Steve to place Mandy’s bear on the pillow sideways. It was sitting right side up, smiling at them. Her eyes asked Steve a question, _Did you forget?_ and he shook his head, lips pursed tight, _No, I put it sideways_.

Steve was on edge. “It’s alright, dear,” he replied, walking into the room slowly, eyes looking at every detail. “We just need to stop for one then we can go meet up with your cousin again.”

It was a small thing, but one Peggy relied on: put one or two items in the room in a specific place, a place that seemed out of place to someone else, and she’d know if someone had been in there. It had always worked for her without fail. If someone were searching a room and saw after they’d looked behind pillows that the bear was on its side, they’d right it again, because who would leave a bear on its side? Plus, the small thing could tip to its side from sitting straight up and down, but couldn’t get vertical on its own from being laid on its side. She also looked over at her dressing table and saw that her pile of hair pins was askew. She set them in a very specific pattern every morning, one meant to look haphazard but that had order to her. Hairpins didn’t move on their own, but they might move if someone had lifted the towel they were set on to look under it, or if they’d sat at the vanity and mindlessly bumped it. Peggy marched on, cooing at Amanda as she made a fuss of filling a bottle and talking to her as she fed the baby to keep the room from being quiet as Steve started methodically looking through the space, gently lifting everything he could and quietly placing it back, looking for the bug they both feared would be in there.

Peggy was humming to cover up his movements as he got on his hands and knees and started looking under the table and chairs. He raised his hand from under the vanity, nodding as he quietly stood. It was small, but he’d know the little mass of wires anywhere.

She handed him Amanda and then crawled under the vanity to see for herself. “So what do you think for today, darling, after we visit with Cousin Howard?” She sat at the vanity and banged her fist against the top, crying out in fake pain. “Oh, I am always banging my knee like that.”

Steve’s face scrunched in confusion as he tried to burp Amanda, but he caught on as she looked back under and carefully aimed her knee. “Careful, Peg, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“This silly vanity is just too low for-“ She smashed her knee up into the bug, this time crying out in actual pain. “Bloody Nora!” The bug fell to the ground and she smashed her heel on it for good measure, but shook her head at Steve. _‘There could be more,’_ she mouthed to him.

He walked over to her, watching as she rubbed her knee. “You ok?”

“I’ve had worse,” she replied, standing straight and kicking her leg a few times to work out the soreness. “Ready to see Cousin Howard?”

~*~

* * *

They’d left the pram, preferring to move swiftly. Peggy held Mandy as Steve knocked on the door to Howard’s unmarked office.

“Cousin Howard!” Peggy greeted him brightly to his surprise.

“Cousin Peg…” he cautiously let them in, knowing immediately something was wrong.

Steve dug in his pocket and held up the bug once Howard had closed them in the small office space. “Thanks for agreeing to give us this tour, Howard. I’ve always wanted to know more about boats.”

Howard eyes went wide as he took the small bug in his hands. A flick of the wrist and he had the small cylinder open and had pulled one of the wires out. “We’re good. Can’t work without that.” He looked up at them, concerned. “Where did you find it?”

Peggy responded quickly as Howard led them into the hidden lab. “Under the vanity when we got back from breakfast.”

Howard looked at her, ready for a fight, “You’re not insinuating…”

Steve shook his head, putting his hand on the man’s shoulder. “No, Jarvis didn’t do it. He didn’t even touch the vanity while he was there.”

“Someone was there while we were out,” Peggy supplied, sitting on one of the stools. “We left her bear sideways on the pillow. When we came back it was right-side up. And my hairpins weren’t in their right order.”

“Your hairpins were askew?” Howard looked impressed. “And a right-side up bear?”

“Mrs. Jarvis made it for Mandy,” Steve filled in, leaning on the counter next to Peggy.

“Simple enough signal, but someone had been in there.”

“Shit.” Howard slumped on the stool across from them, pulling out a tweezer and magnifying glass to look at the bug closer. “Guess we didn’t vet everyone as carefully as we thought.”

“Can you learn anything from that?” Peggy tried to watch as he pulled it apart, but she couldn’t seem much over his shoulder.

“Looks Russian, actually.” He pulled out a wire and examined the end. “Shoddy soldering job means with was probably assembled here with a small kit, not manufactured.”

“So we’ve got someone on the boat who knows who we are.” Steve stood tall, his arms crossing his chest like they would while he was in a briefing. Peggy was both alarmed and calmed by his change in demeanor.

“Or who is trying to find out.” Howard spun to face him, setting the bug aside. “And you’re sure it was put there this morning?”

“The bear and the pins don’t lie.” Peggy was sure of her methods as she rocked the baby. “But aside from that, I’d actually bumped my knee on that vanity more than once, and I’d checked under it the night before I got ill because I thought I felt something sharp. There was nothing there then, and we haven’t left the room until breakfast today.”

Howard looked between them. “And did you say anything?”

“Nothing useful.” Steve’s stance hadn’t changed; he was primed, prepared for a fight.

“Well, you’re gonna have to put this back in your room,” He grabbed the bug, slipped it back together even though it wasn’t working, and handed it to Steve. “Whoever put that in there is gonna go looking for it, and they’re going to need to find it. Plus, they’re probably going to redouble their efforts.” Howard pulled a small black box from the drawer next to him and held it out to Steve. He recognized it as the box Howard had been sweeping through their room that first night. Howard pointed out the power switch and at the sole indicator light. “Blue light, you’re in the clear. Red light, electronic bug.”

“So your answer is we just keep getting rid of them?” Steve asked skeptically, pocketing the device.

“No,” Peggy stepped in before Howard could, “We have to leave them and create doubt.”

“Exactly,” Howard sighed and sat on his stool. “Whoever is listening has to lose interest. One broken bug is coincidence, but two?”

Steve started pacing, unconvinced. “That seems…”

“It’s the only thing we can do, or else we’re exposing ourselves.” Peggy stood, stepping in his path. “We have to make them think we’re nobody.”

“And now more than ever,” Howard interjected. He pulled out another stool and slid it to Steve. “Sit. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

“The results?” Peggy asked, sitting back across from him, already knowing what was coming.

Howard frowned. “I have good news and I have bad news.”

Steve put a hand on Peggy’s shoulder, leaning back against the table behind them, preferring not to sit for the moment. “What’s the good news?”

Howard couldn’t quite force a smile. “I was able to get some answers from her blood.”

“And the bad?” Peggy was direct, and she couldn’t wait any longer.

Howard sighed, putting his elbows on his knees, resigned. “You’re not going to like those answers.”

Peggy held Amanda closer. “What did you find?”

“When Erskine and I developed the formula we used on Steve, we added a protein marker that acted like a signature. If someone stole our formula, we’d know because that protein marker would be there.” He sat up tall, eyes serious. “Mandy has the marker.”

Steve and Peggy both let out a sigh, knowing they still knew something that Howard didn’t. “So what does that mean?” Steve prompted.

Howard’s hands bounced up, trying to display his frustration. “That’s it. That’s all it tells me.” He stood, pacing the small space. “That day when Erskine was killed wasn’t the first time someone tried to steal our formula. We know of at least a dozen attempts by Hydra to steal the serum in whole or in part that were thwarted.”

Amanda was grabbing at Peggy’s hair and she quickly detangled her tiny fist and let her play with her fingers instead. “That doesn’t mean they didn’t succeed at any point.”

“Exactly. The protein marker was added in during one of the earliest stages of development and doesn’t stand out in the formula as there are dozens of different proteins coded in the formula itself.” Howard spun, looking at Steve, “It doesn’t mean Steve in any way fathered this child. It just means they used our formula, in whole or in part, on her at some point between fertilization and when you found her.”

Peggy looked up at Steve and took a deep breath before turning back to Howard. “Can you tell if it worked?”

Howard looked confused. “What do you mean?”

She continued. “You said she has a protein marker. But you didn’t say if the serum worked.” She looked down at Amanda, trying to test her grip and wondering if she was perhaps any stronger than the usual month old baby.

“Can’t tell that from the blood.” He shrugged. “We might not know for years if she-“

“She is.” Steve let the words come flying out like he couldn’t hide them anymore, startling Howard. “The cut from the lancet the other day healed by the time we got back to our room.” He wasn’t sorry for letting the secret fall from his lips. “Will it last?”

Howard shook his head, eyes wide with revelation. “No way to know. Who knows if they just gave her the serum right before you found her, or if they used radiation, or even how they applied the serum?” He sighed, face turning dark. “We’d have to test her, just like we tested you. How fast she heals, how much she can lift… all of it is unknown and it’s sure as hell unknown in a growing baby where we have no data on how the serum was administered or what she was like before.” He sank to the stool under him. “This complicates things.”

Steve pressed on, needing more information. “So you used my blood to find the protein marker and compare them. Why did you need Peggy’s blood?”

Howard’s fingers played in his mustache, his eyes a million miles away in thought. “I… had a thought.”

Steve pulled the stool over and sat, wrapping an arm around Peggy. “A thought?”

Howard leaned back, arms moving quickly as he tried to illustrate what he was explaining. “We can use blood type testing to rule someone in or out as a parent, but it isn’t conclusive. Forgetting that we’ve already decided Steve didn’t leave enough genetic material anywhere for this to be a real possibility, let’s follow this out. Steve is Type O, Mandy’s Type A. That means she has one A and one O, and did get an O from someone, but I have no way of knowing if that was her mother or father. It just leaves us knowing that there’s a small possibility- a tiny, not very realistic but entirely plausible way that Steve could be her father because it was possible he could have contributed an O. It doesn’t rule out other people as the father, but it makes it possible that Steve could be the father. That possibility, when put together with the protein marker they both share that isn’t part of the general population, would stand up in a court of law to prove parentage.” Howard stood, leaning forward. “And here’s the hunch- it’s just as likely you’re her mother, Peg. You’re type A. You could have passed on that A to her.”

Peggy couldn’t quite get the words to come out of her mouth for a moment, but her voice eventually croaked out of her throat. “You’re telling me, that in no way would anyone have any way to tell for sure at this point that this baby wasn’t ours?”

Howard sat back down heavily. “I’m telling you that there is no modern medicine that I’m aware of, and I’m aware of all of it, that could prove you are or are not her parents.”

They were quiet for long, heavy seconds. Mandy’s coos as she tried to shove Peggy’s fingers in her mouth were the only noises in the makeshift lab while the three adults took in all they’d learned in the last few minutes.

Peggy, more so than Steve or Howard, seemed to be far away. Steve let his hand slide up and down her arm, attempting to refocus her. “Peggy, what are you thinking?”

She didn’t move; mind still a million miles away. “I’m thinking a very bad thing.”

Howard saw it in her eyes, and didn’t miss a beat, “Peg, what’re you thinking?”

She shook her head, turning her gaze to the little girl in her arms who seemed to have no idea what was going on. “I told you it was bad.”

“Spell it out, Peg,” Steve reached out, laying his hand on her knee. He thought perhaps he was thinking the same exact thing. “Say it out loud.”

She sighed, but relented. She looked at Steve, a hint of desperation filling her. “What if we disappear? The three of us?”

That knot of dread from yesterday seeped into his stomach again, twisting as she spoke aloud what he was thinking. He couldn’t help but try to talk her out of the very idea that was blossoming in him. “They’ve plastered my face all over the world, there aren’t many places we could go…”

She turned toward him, eyes fierce. “They’ve plastered Captain America’s face with that helmet all over the world.” She shrugged, dismissing his argument. “Grow a beard, get some glasses- seems to work for Superman.”  
  


Howard reached out, touching her shoulder. “Peg, Steve’s right. They’re gonna _look_ for you.”

She stood, holding Amanda close. “And you’re looking at arguably the best spy in the SSR and the best soldier that’s ever lived. If anyone can get away from the US government, it's us.”

Howard shook his head, knowing she wasn’t thinking this through, though it sounded like a damn good idea. “All the governments, Peg. If Hydra thinks she’s alive, they will be looking for her. Especially if they even _think_ that what they did worked, which we know it did. We’re going to have to come up with considerable evidence that she did not make it to New York. That NONE of you made it to New York, in fact, if you want to disappear.”

“She’s the only one that needs to not make it to New York.” Peggy shook her head, looking down at the bundle in her arms.

“What, and Captain America chucked a baby overboard?” Howard laughed, standing and starting to pace with his hands on his hips. “You think anyone’s gonna buy that?”

Steve stood, stepping between them. “Let’s just all take a deep breath. Nothing has to be decided right now.” He faced Peggy, looking down at the girl in her arms. “You remember what I told you the other night?”

She nodded, some of the fight leaving her. “That you wouldn’t let her out of your sight—"

“-until I knew she was safe. That hasn’t changed.” He wrapped her in a loose hug, “Has it changed for you?”

She looked up at him, resolute. “Not at all.”

He kept her tight against him but turned and opened up to Howard. “What are our other options?”

Howard sat back on the stool, mentally exhausted. “What do you mean?”

Steve’s head bobbed as he tried to work it out like a puzzle. “Disappear is the Hail Mary. Last resort. What else can we do?”

Peggy passed Mandy, who was slowly working her way back to sleep, over to Steve and started pacing, stretching her arms. “Ok, we show up in New York and go with Howard as planned. What if we don’t like what they’re doing?”

Steve didn’t have to even think about his answer. “We take her and leave. By force, if necessary.”

Howard joined her in brainstorming, his knee bouncing quickly. “Then we’re back to where we were before- multiple governments looking for you.”

Peg turned and pointed at him. “What if we forge the data? Say that she’s a normal little girl?”

Howard shook his head. “The US is still going to want her. If Hydra wants her, we want her. Plus, they’re gonna ship the two of you back to Europe before you can blink if they get results like that. A normal baby doesn’t need guarding by Captain America.”

Peggy grew quiet and still, biting at her thumbnail. “All of this is assuming she’s a secret, yes?”

“And it’s assuming we don’t like what we see when we get to New York.” Steve wilted a little at Peggy’s sharp look, knowing they were all thinking the same thing: there was no way that the SSR had planned for a happy home for the babe. “Which, we probably won’t.”

Howard leaned on his workbench. “Why wouldn’t she be a secret, Peg?”

Peggy moved to Steve, gazing down at the sweet face she’d fallen in love with. “What if we make her the most famous baby in the world?”

“What? Like the Gerber Baby?” Howard laughed and did his best to mimic a newsreel announcer. “’Captain America Rescues Baby from Nazi Stronghold!’ I mean, that’s a headline, but…”

Peggy tried to make him understand, her seriousness never wavering. “Makes it hard for her to disappear in Alamogordo if the whole world is looking at her.”

Howard wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily. “True. But they’re still gonna want to send you back. We might get away with her getting adopted and being more of a media figure like Steve was at first, but you know they’re gonna keep tabs, and that she’d still be in danger. And if she’s out there that makes it easier for Hydra to know where she is.” He put his palms flat on the table. “We’re going to have to shut down whatever twisted bastard at Hydra thought this was a good idea, and you and Steve are our best options for that.”

Peggy let her head fall, mind racing but voice exhausted. “Why are you ruining every argument I make?”

“Because I need you to see the flaws,” Howard nearly begged, rounding the table to stand next to her. “I need you to think this through.”

“We are,” Steve supplied, slipping his arm around Peggy’s waist. He looked at her, his own frustration and concern matching that in her eyes. “We’re thinking about this a lot. And we need to get back to our room, check it for more bugs, and figure out a strategy for outing whoever is spying on us.”

She was quiet, but nodded.

“We reconvene at lunch,” Howard announced, nodding to himself. “More brainstorming once we’ve all had a chance to think things through a little more rationally.”

Walking back to their room, Steve held Mandy tight in one arm and reached for Peggy’s fidgeting hands with the other. “We’re going to figure this out.”

She squeezed his hand, holding it in both of hers as they maneuvered the halls. “I think I’d like to go back to yesterday when my biggest problem was not throwing up.”

Steve squeezed her hand, stopping as they got to their room. “Go with me here.” She nodded, entering and taking the baby from him. “That sure was a swell visit,” he tried to make his voice seem sincere as he pulled the black box from his pocket, flicked it on, and started moving around the room. Almost immediately it started registering bugs- three active ones in all.

“Oh, yes,” Peggy agreed, setting Mandy in her bassinet and setting to verify all the bugs. She found each one- one in a lampshade, one inside the alarm clock, and one behind one of their chairs. “But he does jabber on incessantly, don’t you think?”

“Sometimes.” Steve came out of the bathroom and mouthed ‘clear,’ Peggy wiped her forehead in an acknowledgement they’d have at least some place to talk if needed. “Hey Peg, what’s that on your dress?”

“Oh?” She asked, not even having to feign surprise.

“Looks like a wire? Here, don’t move.” He crouched down and pulled the bug from his pocket, raising his eyebrows at her with a smile. “How’d this get down there?”

“Must have gotten stuck when I bumped my knee earlier. What is it?” She asked, making a silly face for Steve as she feigned ignorance for the audio audience they had.

“Oh, just some old wires.” He tried to mimic the tones of the men he’d overheard trying to explain things to Peggy on base- the haughty, condescending tones of someone who absolutely did not know what they were talking about, but felt like they were superior to the other person anyway. “They must have had an old lamp there and missed this bit.”

“Oh, well,” Peggy let her voice be light and dismissive, “Nothing to worry about then. Glad it didn’t tear my dress!” She took the bug from him and loudly tossed it in the small trashcan by the table, knowing the other bug would pick up on the sound of it settling in the metal can.

Steve sat on the side of the bed, looking around the room to where the bugs were as she joined him. “What do you want to do this afternoon?” he asked lightly, somewhere between his own voice and the affectation he was putting on for their audience.

“Oh, I was hoping Ana would be around for tea,” Peggy slumped back on the bed next to him.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Steve nodded. “Why don’t you see if she’s around, I’ll stay with Mandy.”

Peggy looked suddenly stricken, like she wasn’t sure she wanted to leave at all. She looked at smiling babe in the bassinet and worried her lip. “Maybe in a bit,” she looked back at him. “I’m quite tired from this morning, actually.”

Steve understood the impetus; he was loath to leave the girl as well. “Why don’t we all take a quiet morning in, then?” He slipped back on the bed and pulled Mandy out of the basket, laying down and pressing her to his chest. He held his hand out for Peggy, leaving the space against his right side ready and waiting for her.

She smiled, slipped her shoes off and snuggled up to Steve. “That actually sounds incredibly delightful.”

He wrapped his arm around Peggy, holding her close as she laid her hand over his on Amanda’s back. “We’ll figure this out,” he whispered against her forehead, pressing a fierce kiss to her temple. “We’re going to figure it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a good amount of scientific information in this chapter that is, to the best of my knowledge, scientifically sound and time-period correct. There is also a handful made-up science to further the plot. Suspend your disbelief and enjoy.


	8. Growing Difficulties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Peggy start to devise plans to figure out who is watching them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way back in chapter 3, AO3 User Arrow_VirtueMoir asked me when this story was set. My brain went “Doesn’t matter!” and I kept writing, not thinking too much about when I had set it (A non-dated November sometime during the war). 125 Pages later my brain decided it was INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT to have it set 6 months later very specifically in 1945.
> 
> I’m splitting the difference (which means you get more story as I have to fill in those few extra months) and setting this in late March, 1945, set not too long after Bucky falls from the train. Today, I completed MINOR edits to earlier chapters to change references from November to March and from it being cold to a chilly spring as well as a few typos/spelling issues that slipped by me, nothing that CURRENTLY effects the plot. 
> 
> You’ll thank me later ;)

Lying in bed, listening to Steve re-tell Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and playing peek-a-boo with Mandy did a lot for Peggy’s aching heart. By the time they met Howard for a rather dull lunch filled with ridiculous pleasantries because they had no idea who was watching them or where they might be, she was feeling much more ready to take on the next few days.

After lunch they bundled Amanda up in the pram, covered it tight with a blanket, and took a walk on the aft deck, taking advantage of the loud winds to huddle together and devise a plan. They looked like a couple swapping sweet nothings: his arm wrapped around her waist to hold her close and them pushing the pram together each with one hand. In reality they were carefully planning their next few hours, deciding each move ahead of time.

When they finally stepped back into the interior corridors Peggy shivered at the temperature change, her body unsure if it was hot or cold. While the air and wind had been chilly, the beaming sun had felt warm. Peggy took a moment to pull the blanket down from where she’d tucked it over the top of the pram, revealing Mandy who was fast asleep. She put her cold fingers to Mandy’s cheek then pressed it to the blankets: she’d stayed warm and toasty. “At least one of us wasn’t cold.”

“I think she was the only one that was warm,” Steve replied, pushing the pram forward and setting them down to their room. They were quiet until they got inside, and Steve parked the pram by the bed, Mandy still fast asleep.

Peggy slipped through the room, giving Steve the thumbs up that the bugs were still where they had left them. “I think I’ll go see if Ana wants to join me for tea.”

Steve nodded, knowing this was the plan. Split up, not say who was taking Mandy, and see if someone showed up in both of their locations. “I was thinking of skipping the gym today and checking out the library instead.”

Peggy stepped closer to him, hands finding his and holding tight. “I think that sounds like a good idea.” She leaned up, kissing him soundly. She was feeling better about things, but she was still far from feeling good about it all.

Steve felt the same, and it didn’t take much for him to let go and enjoy the feel of her lips against his. It was a momentary release, perhaps, but it was all they’d be getting. He slipped his hands from hers and wound one around her hips and the other into her hair, holding her close. Peggy fisted her hands in his shirt, deepening the kiss and falling further and further away from the worries that had plagued her all morning.

Peggy pulled away, breathless. She pressed her cheek to Steve’s, catching her breath. “If you keep kissing me like that, I won’t make it to tea.”

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing,” he laughed lightly, his hand rubbing over her hip. He kissed her again, “Stay.”

She leaned up, whispering in his ear. “You do remember someone’s listening, right?”

He huffed out a laugh, whispering as quiet as he could. “I was doing my best to try to forget that.” He stood tall, taking a step back and pecking her on the lips softly. “Enjoy tea.”

Peggy huffed out a deep breath as she stepped out of his arms, turning to the mirror to check her lipstick and fix her hair. “I’m barely presentable, you ape.”

She could see him in the reflection over her shoulder smiling at her with love in his eyes as he wiped lipstick off his own lips. “I think you look great.”

She turned, matching his smile. “I’m utterly debauched.” She held her hand up as he came closer to her. “We’ll be late as it is for tea, if you kiss me again I may never leave.”

She slipped around him as he shoved his hands in his pockets as a gesture of good faith. “Doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“I’ll meet you back here before dinner.” She opened the door, leaning back into the room and blowing him a kiss. He watched her close it and shook his head.

It was hard knowing someone was listening. Their room was no longer the haven for them it once was. They had to be on guard, pretending and watching each word. And now that he was thinking slightly straighter, he felt the same reluctance she did to become more intimate. It was one thing to think about holding her and touching her and being with her while Amanda slept safely in the bassinet, it was another to know one or more adults were listening and potentially even recording them.

As quietly as he could he scooped Amanda into his arms. He was off to the library with the sleeping baby to people watch and see if he could figure out who was following them.

~*~

* * *

  
  


“Ana, you simply mustn’t.” Peggy held the small knit bunny in her hands, soft, grey and with a little blue ribbon.

“Oh, pish posh.” Anna stirred her tea. “I don’t enjoy swimming and even in Spring the outer decks are too cold. What else am I to do?” She laughed. “I’m certainly not playing any more chess with Mr. Jarvis. He is quite the sore loser.”

Peggy smiled, looking at the exquisite detail in the eyes and tail. “This really is too kind, though.”

Ana looked a little contrite. “I’m a bit nosy, you know,” she admitted, “and asked Edwin why I didn’t see any toys. When he told me you’d lost some of your luggage coming over to England I felt horrible!”

Peggy smiled, glad that Howard had been able to plant that little seed. “It’s been terribly inconvenient,” she agreed. “We lost her toys and a good portion of her diapers, some of our clothes, too. Poor Steve’s had to give up some of his undershirts for a better cause.”

“Let me know if you need anything,” Ana was insistent. “Between Edwin and Howard I’m sure we can find whatever you’d want.”

“You really are too kind,” Peggy said again, her heart a little fuller for the woman’s generosity.

Ana just flipped her hand at her, smiling. “It’s been fun to do something other than darning socks and knitting scarves.”

“Jarvis mention this has you two thinking of your own family…” Peggy let the sentence drift off to see if it sparked some excitement in her.

Her eyes shone. “Oh, I’d love to have a family. A big one, I should think.” She sipped her tea, eyes a million miles away and making plans. “Edwin would be a fabulous father.”

“Of that I have no doubt,” Peggy nibbled on a shortbread, still unsure of her stomach with anything sweeter.

“We’re going to wait until the war’s over, though.” Ana’s eyes darkened. “Too much hate in the world right now to bring a child into.” Ana clapped her hand over her mouth immediately. “Oh, I didn’t mean…”

“No, I quite understand.” Peggy smiled. “Our little girl was a sudden surprise, otherwise we’d have probably done the same thing.” Peggy looked at her tea. She and Steve had started so many sentences with ‘After the war…’ back in bases and camps that seemed a million miles and a million years away. She smiled and cleared her throat, changing the subject. “You don’t know any of the other travelers?”

Ana shook her head, lifting a madeleine from the tray of sweets. “Only a few of the staff.”

~*~

* * *

The library was small but well stocked. Steve held Mandy, still sleeping, in one arm as he perused the shelves. He was the only one there at the moment, and it made it easy for him to keep an eye on the door and actually look for a book. He missed reading things that weren’t mission reports. He used to enjoy fiction and serials, sometimes the occasional comic book. He’d even read a few of the romance novels his mom had when he’d been desperate and couldn’t get out of the house, though he wasn’t exactly fond of them.

There was some fiction, some histories, a whole section of non-fiction and even some plays. He pulled an Agatha Christie off the shelf he hadn’t read yet and settled himself in one of the room’s wingback chairs that was turned just enough that he could see the door without lifting his head.

He settled Mandy in his lap, still sleeping soundly, and turned the first page.

~*~

* * *

Mandy was inconsolable. Her loud cries, interrupted only for deep gulps of air, didn’t seem to be for anything specific. She’d slept most of the afternoon on Steve’s lap as he read. She’d woken as he was carrying her back to meet Peggy in their room before dinner and had immediately become grumpy and was squirming in his arms. By the time he made it to the room she’d moved on to full-blown wails. She pushed away any bottle they tried to give her and was clean and dry.

Peggy bounced the crying baby in her arms, eyes tight with concern. “Did you try burping her?”

“Three times,” Steve ran his hands over his head. “Are _you_ feeling ok? Maybe she’s nauseous again?”

Peggy shook her head. “I’m feeling fine, so I doubt it.” She paced the room, murmuring in Mandy’s ear before stopping sharply and looking at Steve. “Maybe she’s congested?”

His face conveyed his disbelief but his word played along. “Maybe.”

Peggy tilted her head to the bathroom, “Let’s try some steam.”

Steve picked up on her idea immediately: if they couldn’t stop her cries at least they could take advantage of them. Closed in the bathroom with her wailing and the shower going there was no way anyone would hear anything they were saying, bugs or not. Plus, at this point, he was willing to try anything. She’d been crying for twenty minutes straight and was physically shaking at the effort.

He pulled the door closed behind them and started up the shower before he closed the lid of the toilet to give Peggy some place to sit. “How was your afternoon?”

Peggy sat Mandy up on her lap leaning back on her chest, facing her towards the shower that was starting to steam. “Pleasant enough. I do quite like Ana. Same women at tea as I’ve seen before, though, and a good dozen or so moved in and out during the time we were there.” She rubbed Mandy’s belly and smoothed back the little hairs on her head, the girl still screaming. “You’re ok, darling, you’re just fine.” She looked back up at Steve as the steam started to swirl around them. “You?”

“Well,” he couched in front of them, grabbing a face cloth and dabbing at Mandy’s tears and runny nose, “I’m a third through Death on the Nile.”

“So glad you had some leisure time this afternoon,” Peggy retorted, playfully chiding him.

“I won’t lie, it was nice.” He leaned back and sat against the wall. “Four men and two women came through the library while I was there.”

“Anyone we’ve seen before?” Peggy bounced her knees, but Mandy didn’t change temper at all.

Steve shook his head. “I’ve seen them all before. There’s only a few hundred people on the boat.” He twisted the washcloth in his hands. “A rotund man in his forties with a bad comb over stopped in and swapped the history of Greece for a history of Rome. Older man, in his seventies with a long white beard, came in and read some Shakespeare for about a half hour. Third guy kinda looked how I used to: thin and sickly, and he left after taking an obscenely long time trying to decide between two detective novels. The last man was fairly plain looking, moustache like Howards and a square jaw. He sat and read a few chapters in a book on the history of the British Navy.”

The steam had enveloped them now, but did nothing for her cries. “How about the women?”

“Two blondes.” He put his head in his hands. “First one came in and out quickly, swapping out two novels- I didn’t see which. Fairly short, glasses, quiet looking. Long straight hair. The second had her hair done up nice, big rolls like you do sometimes. She was tall, probably only a few inches shorter than me. She grabbed Pride and Prejudice and sat for a while, maybe an hour.”

Peggy shook her head. “I’m sure I’ve seen them both at tea today. None of the men, though.” She sighed, “It’s going to take more than one day of coincidental turning up.”

Steve leaned forward, dabbing at Mandy’s eyes again. “We’ve at least got a place to—" He stopped short, putting the cloth down and taking Mandy’s arm in his hands gently, eyeing the short sleeve of her dress. “Peg- was this tight when you dressed her this morning?”

“Tight? No. She’s still far too small—" Peggy stopped as she looked down, Mandy’s arm starting to turn purple around where the sleeve was digging into her flesh.

Steve’s hands quickly flitted to her other arm where the sleeve was just as tight at the seam, the puff of the shoulder giving her just a little more room. “Let’s take this off…” He took the crying baby in his hand, leaning her forward so Peggy could undo the buttons in the back. Together they worked the confining sleeves down her arms and lifted the dress off until she was in just her diaper. Mandy’s cries calmed to shuddering sniffles as Peggy laid her back against her chest, Steve gently rubbing the circulation back to life in her arms.

Peggy’s eyes were wide, taking her in. “She had plenty of room this morning when I dressed her.” She shook her head. “She’s grown since then. What did she do, have a growth spurt while she slept in the library?”

Steve looked at Peggy before bring his attention back to Mandy, as confused as she was. Mandy, for her part, was feeling better and has started grabbing at Steve’s face “Yeah, you feel better, don’t you?” He reached out, wiping the last of her tears away with his thumb. “She must have. She does look bigger, don’t you think?”

Peggy’s fingers reached out, circling the legs that looked just a bit chubbier and a little longer. “I thought my arms were just tired from holding her, but she must be. But how can she have grown that fast?”

“I grew almost a foot and a hundred fifty pounds in just under 5 minutes.” Steve let Mandy wrap her hands around his pointer fingers. “Like Howard said- no one knows how this is going to affect a baby.” He sighed, looking up at Peggy. “We’ve got to tell Howard.”

“We’ve got to get her more clothes. I didn’t buy anything bigger!” Peggy stood, taking Mandy and Steve with her. “Let’s hope we’ve got something that fits for dinner.”  
  
Steve turned off the shower and they both took a deep breath, preparing for the audio play they’d be performing. As soon as they opened the door, Peggy let her voice fill the room. “There we are, my little love. Feeling much better.”

“No more walks on deck,” Steve replied, pulling open the drawer that held Amanda’s dresses. He grabbed them all, laying them out on the bed.

“No more,” Peggy affirmed, holding the girl close and grabbing her blanket from the chair to keep her warm as their room seemed almost cold compared to the steam filled bathroom. She laid her on the bed next to the dresses and wrapped the blanket around her, leaving her arms out and handing her the bunny Ana had given her earlier.

Mandy immediately tried to eat one ear as Peggy started to compare the dress Mandy had been wearing with all the dresses laid out on the bed. She shook her head as the pile with sleeves that were too small kept growing. “That leaves how many?”

“Two night dresses. It’ll have to do for now.” She swept the other pile back towards Steve and pulled the one that was the larger of the two dresses over. She unwrapped Mandy and looked at her as she played with the bunny. _‘She really is bigger,’_ Peggy mouthed to Steve. He nodded, shoving the dresses back into the drawer as he wasn’t sure what else to do with them.

Steve made a bottle as Peggy dressed her, hefting her into her arms once she was ready. “There’s my big girl,” Peggy kissed her cheek and passed her over to Steve who was waiting with a bottle. “We should feed her on the way, Cousin Howard will be waiting.”

Steve nodded. “Grab one of the cloths?” He tiled his head to the pile of cloths that had finally dried to be used again. She picked one up, and grabbed her blanket before turning and following Steve out the door.

Mandy had made her way through most of the bottle by the time they made it to the Dining Room and sat with Howard.

Peggy smiled in a way that made Howard raise his eyebrows. “Cousin Peg, you’re late.”

“Mandy was fussy,” she replied. “It took us forever to get her calmed down.”

He looked between Steve and Peggy and could tell something was up, but knew they couldn’t say too much in the open. “Is she… okay?”

Steve shrugged their real answer- that they didn’t know- even though Peggy responded verbally. “Oh, of course.” Peggy kept talking, but tipped her head slightly, signaling that Howard should watch Steve’s body language as they continued. “We took a walk on deck, it left her feeling poorly.”

Steve, without looking up from the girl in his arms, shook his head no. Anyone watching would have thought he was just keeping the baby entertained as he fed her instead of stealthy answering Howard’s questions.

“She’s just growing up so fast,” Peggy continued, just like any mother might brag about their daughter, but Howard caught Steve nodding in his peripheral vision.

Howard thought a moment and replied, trying to fish out more information. “Well, kids do grow, Peg.”

“Oh, I know,” She took her napkin off the table and placed it on her lap. “Just sometimes it feels like I put her in something in the morning and by mid-afternoon she’s outgrown it!”

Steve nodded, smiling down at the baby who was smiling back up at him, having finished the bottle. Howard saw the nod out of the corner of his eye and kept his eyes on Peggy. “Ya don’t say?”

Peggy arranged the cotton cloth on Steve’s shoulder as he held the baby up to burp her. “You know, I’m sure it’s just the fact they lost our luggage and we only have her old clothes,” she looked at him meaningfully. “If we had thought about buying brand new ones right before we left I’m sure they’d still fit.”

Howard hid his surprise by grabbing a glass of water and drinking slowly. He was having a hard time believing it, but this wasn’t some run of the mill conversation, this was Peggy telling him very pointedly that they needed to have a much longer talk.

~*~

* * *

The chatter at dinner was minimal; Howard’s mind running a million miles a minute. He invited them back to his office ostensibly to see navigational charts, but already had a list of measurements in his mind that he wanted to take.

Peggy lay the soft blanket on the metal table before Steve set Amanda down, staying close so she didn’t slide off as Howard bounced around the room, adding things to a small pile in his hands.

“It’s exhausting having those bugs in our room,” Peggy muttered, taking two books that Howard handed her, “I feel like I can’t relax anywhere.”

“You can’t,” Howard replied. He stood on the other side of the table, spreading out what he’d brought over with him: measuring tape, calipers, and a notebook. “If this kid is growing that fast…”

“Howard, when I put her dress on this morning it was just slightly too large for her. By the time I got back from tea it was so tight the poor thing was screaming in pain.”

Howard looked at Steve. “You didn’t notice she’d gotten bigger?”

Steve tilted his head. “She was sleeping in my lap. I thought she felt heavier because I’d been holding her so long.”

“And who in their right mind is going to expect an infant to grow that fast, anyway?” Peggy supplied, letting her hand rest on Steve’s shoulder. She looked down at Amanda, “The poor thing was bursting out of that dress.”

“Well,” Howard looked down at her, “she doesn’t look that much bigger than this morning, but I can’t much tell for sure. I should have taken measurements when she got here, but you’re right, Peg. Who expects her to grow that fast?” He pulled out the tape measure first, measuring head to toe and every other way he could think of, including around her head. “I mean, you guys might wake up tomorrow with a toddler in your bed.”

Peggy’s look halted his movements. Howard shrugged. “I’d like to say I’m joking, but I honestly don’t know.” He picked up the calipers, measuring across her face and her chubby arms and legs. He picked up what looked like a fish scale and brought it over to the table, bundling the blanket around her and attaching it to the scale. He lifted it just enough that she hovered an inch off the table and waited just long enough for the needle to stabilize before he put her down. He looked up at Steve, “Pick her out of there, will ya?” Howard lifted the scale again, this time weighing just the blanket and subtracting that from the previous measurement.

Steve kept her on his chest, happy that the girl still seemed unfazed by what was going on. “You get what you needed?”

“Couple left,” Howard murmured, looking through one of the books he’d given Peggy. “Peg- go stand over there and call her name.”

Peggy crossed the room out of sight of Amanda, who had her head buried under Steve’s chin, and called her name gently. “Mandy? Amanda?”

Amanda’s head popped up and bobbled for a moment before she turned and laughed and smiled at Peggy. Peggy smiled back, waving at her.

Howard whispered, “You now, Steve.”

“Mandy?” He said gently from behind her head.

The girl swiveled again, looking up at Steve with another great big smile, flailing her arm out which landed ineffectually on his chin. She tried to grab at it, but her hand slipped away.

Howard signaled Peggy and quietly switched spots with her while Mandy wasn’t paying attention. “Amanda?” Howard called, trying to keep his voice light.

She turned her head again, but burrowed back into Steve when she saw Howard.

“Well, I know where I rate,” he mumbled, coming back over to his notebook. “Put her back on the table on her stomach.”

Peggy was still even as she spoke. “Howard, if you don’t say something soon, I’m going to scream.”

Howard crouched down, getting eye level with the baby as she pushed upon her elbows and stared at him. Her head bobbled, but stayed up for a moment before she fell forward, Steve’s hand catching it before it hit the hard metal. “I have two theories.”

“Which are?” Peggy moved to stand next to Steve as he picked Mandy up into his arms, nestling her close again.

Howard already had his nose in a book, marking up his notes further as he flipped through charts. “Hang on.” He wrote furiously as they watched him, circling some numbers, crossing others out. “Ok.”

“Ok?” Peggy asked, face tight.

“Ok.” Howard dog-eared a page and shoved the notes in the book before closing it. “I have two theories. We’ll have to watch over the next few days to see which is more likely to be right.”

“And?” Steve prompted, Mandy gnawing on his collar.

“Theory one is what you guys were thinking. She had an enormous growth spurt in a few hours. Could mean she’ll have them every so often and that she’s growing at an accelerated rate. We don’t know when she was actually born, so we have no way to know or track that except starting now and checking in twice a day.” Howard shrugged. “Steve had an enormous growth spurt in five minutes. It fits with how the serum works, even though it’s working differently in her.”

“But she hasn’t been exposed to any radiation today.” Steve retorted, wiping the excess drool from Mandy’s chin and around his neck.

“No,” Howard shook his head, “which is why I’m not leaning towards that as an answer. Which leads me to theory two.”

Peggy looked over at the baby, who seemed completely oblivious and no worse for the wear. “Which is?”

“Which is she was malnourished when you got her. Stressed. Tired. Neglected.” He sat, leaning his elbows on the lab bench. “All the things she can do, like holding up her head on her stomach, responding to people, faces, names, plus her weight, head size, and body length, are much more indicative of a two or three month old. At least according to this.” He tapped the book he’d hidden the notes in. “I think she wasn’t actually a month old when you got her, she was just not well but the serum was hiding that fact. Once she got more food in her, once she started to feel safe, and once the damn seasickness wore off, her body was able to actually focus on repairing and restoring where she was supposed to be.”

Peggy let her hand rest on Mandy’s back, eyes lost in memories of changing her that first night. “She was so very thin when we got her.”

“You guys haven’t actually had her that long,” Howard reminded them as Steve pulled back to look at the girl that was now gnawing on her own hand. “If she was neglected when you picked her up, even though you were feeding her, all the travel alone on that first day was stressful, then being in a new place on the ship, then the seasickness, she hasn’t had a chance for her body to not be in a state of fight or flight until today.”

“Makes sense,” Steve mumbled, kissing the girl’s forehead and cupping the back of her downy head close. “But what do we do?”

“We’ve got someone watching us closely and now is the time she decides to show off,” Peggy smiled sadly. 

“Just because you have stress doesn’t mean that she does.” Howard smiled slyly at them. “I might rib you about it, but you guys really are fantastic with her. Quite frankly there are some fascinating studies coming out about motor and intellectual performance when infants have increased contact and interaction with their parents.” Howard shrugged. “Depending on how Hydra was keeping her, just the fact that you guys hold her so often could be a huge factor in decreasing her stress levels and increasing her ability to grow.”

Steve was still serious, his eyes unfocused as he tried to come up with a plan. “So, we measure her twice a day. What else can we do?”

Howard shrugged. “If she keeps growing, you’re going to have to find a way to hide it for the next few days.”

“If she keeps growing, we’re going to be out of clothes.” Peggy looked at Howard with desperation. “I wasn’t kidding about that part.”

Howard shook his head, smiling. “Easy. Mrs. Jarvis used to work at a tailor shop. Whatever she can’t adjust on her own I’m sure she can make you from scratch, at least well enough to get by for the next three days.”


	9. Nightmares and New Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Peggy try to move forward, while also trying to give Howard several heart attacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided you all get an extra chapter because of Labor Day. Also because I'm almost finished with this, and I've already managed a sequel. 
> 
> Also, please note that as of THIS chapter, I'm upping the rating for events that will take place anywhere from here to the end of the story. I don't want to give away the surprise, but things do get more adult ;).

It was late when they finally got back to their room. Howard had insisted on another handful of tests for developmental milestones before they left. He was still down there putting together a shorter test they could perform each day.

Peggy dragged herself back into the room, Steve following behind and heading right to the bassinet. He put Mandy in and sat heavily on the side of the bed. “I’m exhausted.”

“Mentally or physically?” Peggy asked, checking and confirming all three bugs were still there.

“Both, I think.” He laid back, feet still on the floor, Mandy squirming in the bassinet just over his head. “She needs to be fed again.”

“Growing girl,” Peggy murmured, mixing up the formula.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked, not moving from his spot on the bed.

“About the same,” she picked up Mandy and sat next to Steve on the bed, scooting back until she was up against the headboard, legs crossed so she wasn’t kicking Steve. As she settled and set Mandy eating, Steve reached out and pulled her legs across his chest. He pulled off her heels and began massaging her left foot. “Oh, that’s heavenly.”

He closed his eyes, letting his hands work gently on her insteps. “Howard’s business proposition is going to take up a lot of my time.” They’d agreed that measuring Mandy would be referred to from now on as “working on the business proposition” for the purposes of being able to talk about it in public. Plus, based on what they’d told Ana, Howard offering his cousin’s penniless husband a job wasn’t all that farfetched.

“I’m going to go with you again tomorrow morning after breakfast,” Peggy asserted, moaning as he hit a particularly sore spot on the ball of her foot. “I’d like to know more before we commit.”

“You still planning on seeing Ana after?” He switched feet, eliciting another soft groan from Peggy.

“I was hoping she’d teach me how to knit,” Peggy kept her eyes on the babe who was eating like it was going out of style. “I get quite bored when you’re off at the gym.”

Steve worked on her foot for a long, quiet moment before he toed his shoes off and forced himself up. “Well, if you take her for the morning, I’ll take her for the afternoon.” He let the lines come out easy, as if it were a real conversation. He was no actor, but he’d pretended his share on USO stages and could make it sound convincing enough. “I’d like to get through that Christie book before we get to New York.”

Peggy watched Steve disappear into the bathroom and focused on the bundle in her arms. For all that was going on, Peggy couldn’t help but notice that Mandy had been markedly happier the past day or so, giggling more and reaching out more. She was holding her head up sometimes and was even endeavoring quite skillfully to hold her own bottle at the moment. It was soothing to just hold her, to let all the fear and worry melt away for a few minutes.

They had three days left, and still no plan about what to do when they got to New York. That had to take a back burner now: the important thing was actually getting Amanda to New York, safe and sound.

Steve came out of the bathroom in only his boxers, clothes slung over his arm. He marched over to the door, double checking that it was locked before he started moving around the room. “Hey Peg, does this chair look too far out to you?”

She knew exactly what he was doing, and though she knew they shouldn’t, she didn’t really care right now. What she wanted was some privacy and some sleep. “Isn’t it usually right up against the wall?”

“I thought so,” Steve replied, giving the chair a swift push, the crunching sound of the electronics audible. He smiled, victorious. “I was thinking of putting the alarm clock in the dresser drawer tonight.”

Peggy pulled the empty bottle from Mandy’s lips. Her confusion was genuine. “Now why on earth would you do that?”

Steve smiled. “Old trick when the alarm was too loud and would wake the whole house. Dump it in the drawer and it muffles everything, but you can still hear it when it goes off. Maybe it won’t startle Amanda tomorrow morning.”

Peggy lay the girl on the bed as she stood up, kicking their shoes under the bed and out of her way. “Splendid idea darling!”

Steve took one of his shirts, wrapped it around the alarm clock, and put it in the third drawer down. He looked at it askance for a moment, unsure if they’d actually hear it in the morning. Peggy looked at him and shook her head. ‘ _Leave it,_ ’ she mouthed to him and he nodded, sliding the drawer closed.

They both looked at the last piece left: the lamp. Peggy walked over and turned her back to him as she thought, “Unzip me, darling?”

He did, mind still preoccupied. He sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hands together as he tried to think of one, last thing they could do to get some privacy. “Wasn’t there… wasn’t there something else you wanted me to do today?”

Peggy slipped out of her dress and laid it across the chair before sitting at the vanity and brushing her hair out. “Oh, there was,” she shook her head at him, trying to figure out where he was taking this, “But I can’t remember for the life of me.”

Steve busied his hands by changing Mandy’s diaper and making sure she still fit in her dress before he put her in the bassinet for the night. He was in the bathroom, rinsing through the diaper when it hit him. “I remember!”

“Oh good!” Peggy’s eyes were wide and expectant as laid her brush down. “What was it?”

“You asked me to put one of the lamps in the bathroom so I wouldn’t have to turn on the light when I change her at night.” He gestured wide, hoping his play would work. “Didn’t you say the light bounces off the mirror and right into your eyes?”

“Dreadfully! I can’t believe I forgot!” She smiled at him as she moved past him to take her turn in the bathroom before he put the bug in there.

Peggy disappeared into the bathroom and Steve set to unplugging the lamp with the bug in it. “Don’t need two of you on the dresser,” he mumbled, hoping whoever was on the other end of the microphone was buying this. Despite the fact that they both liked their new sleeping situation quite a bit, every time Steve got up to change or feed Mandy it meant he had to go over or around Peggy. He really was keeping her up quite a bit, but she swore she didn’t mind and would have gotten up, anyway.

Peggy emerged with her face scrubbed clean and her nightgown on a moment later, and Steve happily shoved the bugged lamp in the shower, pulled the shower curtain closed, and then closed the bathroom door.

Peggy marched over to Steve’s clothes, hung on the chair opposite from hers, and pulled the little black box from his pants. She ran it over the entire room, the light still changing when she got within inches of the hidden alarm clock. The bug behind the chair was dead, and the one in the bathroom was too far away to be detected from the main room. “Oh, thank god,” she whispered, still keeping her voice quiet.

Steve gathered her in his arms, hugging her loosely. “I hope this works.”

“Well, for tonight it will.” Peggy stifled a yawn. “We’ll probably have a whole new set in by tomorrow.”

His hand played with the ends of her hair. “Leaving it down tonight?”

She nodded. “I’m too tired to spend the time tonight. I’ll handle it tomorrow.” 

He kissed her forehead gently. “I’d like to say we should take advantage of this, but I am really looking forward to just going to bed.”

Peggy nodded, “Absolutely. A snuggle sounds much more enticing than a snog at the moment.”

“That,” Steve chuckled, resting his head on her shoulder, “is sad but true.”

~*~

* * *

Peggy woke from her sleep with a cry of distress, sitting up and crawling over Steve as he flailed under her, trying to catch up with whatever was going on and get out of her way as she dug her knees in him in her haste. By the time he was sitting she was already frantically looking in the bassinet, putting her hand on Amanda’s chest to feel the rise and fall of her breathing.

Peggy sat back on her heels, desperately trying to catch her breath, her terror abated for the moment.

“Peg?” Steve asked cautiously. “Are you ok?” 

She nodded twice before she started to shake her head in the negative, her face crumbling into tears as she hid it behind her hands. Steve slid over, pulling her into his arms and letting her catch her breath.

Peggy sniffled, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes. “Oh, it’s so silly,” she murmured.

Steve wrapped his arms tighter, rocking her gently as he settled her in his lap over the blankets. “Tell me.”

“It… it was just a nightmare.” She was able to take a deep breath now, the icy fear that had woken her receding. “But I dreamed, I dreamed we woke up in the morning and she’d grown in the night.” Peggy swallowed, hard. “When I went to check on her, she’d grown so much the neck of her nightdress had choked her and she wasn’t… she was…”

She couldn’t get it out, and Steve wasn’t going to make her try. “Hey, hey. She’s alive. She’s fine.” 

“I know, I…” She took another hitching breath, wrapping her arms around Steve. “I just had this terrible feeling when I woke up.”

“You’re ok,” he whispered, holding her close. “She’s fine and you’re fine.” He let his hand rub up and down her back gently over the soft satin of the nightgown as her breathing slowed and he repeated his words over and over again. He leaned back, pushing the hair from her face and wiping her tears away. “Feel better?”

“You’ve had to ask me that a lot lately,” she chuckled at herself. “I’m not used to anyone worrying about me.”

He played with the end of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. “I like worrying about you.”

She tried to hide a smile but failed. “I think you’re just about the only person that I don’t mind worrying about me.” She leaned up, kissing him gently. It grew more intense, neither of them willing to let the other go, as Peggy straddled his lap.

Steve took her head in his hands and gently guided her away, looking in her eyes. “Marry me.”

She blinked rapidly, confused. “What?”

He smiled. “Marry me.”

She laughed lightly, still feeling a little off kilter. “You won’t be sullying my reputation if that’s what you’re—"

Steve let his chin fall to his chest, smiling a little at her presumption. “I love this,” he started looking fiercely into her eyes. “I love us. I love waking up next to you and going to bed with you.” He let his hands slide down to grab her hands. “I don’t want this to end when we get to New York.”

Her mouth moved, but nothing came out. She squeezed his hands, sitting back on his thighs. “Neither do I,” she finally whispered.

He looked up at her hopefully. “So then?”

She shook her head, smiling with disbelief. “Steve, after how they reacted when that newsreel came out with my picture in your compass, do you really think they’re going to let us get married?” She lifted her hand away from his and pressed it to his cheek.

He turned and kissed her palm, holding her hand there. “The only permission I’m asking for is yours.” He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Marry me, Peg.”

Peggy leaned back, laughing at the ceiling, biting her lip as she looked back at him. “You crazy, ridiculous man.” She leaned down and kissed him soundly, pressing her whole body against his.

“Is that a yes?” he mumbled against her lips. “I’m still not very good at this.”

“You are very good at this.” She pulled away, eyes shining in the dark. “And yes, Steve, I will marry you.”

He slid them down in the bed as they kissed, hands roaming softly but without serious intent. He tucked her under his chin, bringing the blanket back up around her. He didn’t quite know what time it was, but they hadn’t budgeted for a nap tomorrow and he thought there were still quite a few hours left until they had to get up.

She yawned in his embrace, tucking even closer. “So, how are we going to pull that one off?”

“There’s a captain on the boat, isn’t there?” Steve let his fingers play over her hip, sliding the satin of her nightdress between his fingers.

“We’re going to be in so much trouble.”

She felt more than heard Steve’s laugh. “Phillips might actually explode.”

Peggy yawned again, feeling much more content than she had when she woke up. She leaned forward, kissing his chest. “Goodnight, my darling.”

He kissed the top of her head, holding her tight as a new thought started to form in the back of his head. “Goodnight, Mrs. Rogers.”

~*~

* * *

At some point in the night, they’d separated. When the alarm went off, much quieter than it had been previous days, Peggy leaned over the edge of the bed and opened the drawer, unwrapped it, and silenced it before shoving the drawer, with the alarm clock still in it, back closed.

She rolled over, snuggling back into the warmth of Steve’s body and slipped her thigh over his. His arm would around her immediately, even though he didn’t open his eyes. “How cross do you think Howard would be if we skipped breakfast?”

Steve hummed. “About as mad as he’ll be when we tell him we decided to get married last night.”

“So that wasn’t a dream.”

Steve leaned down, finding her lips for a lazy kiss. “Nope.”

Mandy chose that moment to start to whine. This time, when Peggy crawled over Steve, she was much more delicate, kneeling around him instead of scrambling over him. She sat at the edge of the basket and lifted the babe out. “Morning darling,” she whispered.

Mandy yawned and clapped her hands on Peggy’s cheeks, gurgling. “Diaper change?” Steve asked, already moving to get out of bed.

“Oh yes,” Peggy smiled up at him. “And your best bottle if you don’t mind, good sir.”

Steve leaned over, kissing her soundly. “Anything for my wife,” he murmured, smiling against her lips.

Peggy couldn’t contain her smile. “I like the sound of that.”

~*~

* * *

“You two _what?”_ Howard asked, eyebrows high at his hair line. Breakfast had been a quiet affair, Peggy and Steve saying so little that Howard knew he was in for a doozy. As soon as they’d reached his office this morning Peggy had caught him up on last night’s events.

“We want to get married,” Steve supplied. “The sooner, the better.”

Howard laughed, walking away from them to get the measuring tape, scale, and calipers. “What, like I’m just gonna go ask the captain of the ship to marry you?”

“Yes,” Peggy was stone faced, as if they were talking about a serious mission. “That’s what we’d assumed could happen.”

Howard set the pile on his workbench, leaning heavily on his hands. “You know, when I said enjoy yourselves, I was talking about some hide and seek beneath the sheets, not getting _married_.”

Peggy laid out her blanket then gently set Mandy on the table. “Why is this so repugnant to you?”

“It’s not, it’s not,” he defended himself, holding up his hands. “I mean… you two are great together.” Howard held up a finger, pointing at both of them accusingly, “Trouble, but great together.”

Steve helped Howard, gently holding Mandy’s limbs long so he could measure quickly. “So?”

Howard sighed, writing down the newest measurements before putting the tape on the table and looking right at him. “Steve, you’re not your own person. When you signed on to Project Rebirth you gave your life to the Army. You remember that, right?”

“For the duration of the war,” he replied, stone-faced.

Howard shook his head, his lips pursed tight. “I believe the actual words are ‘for however so long you are needed.’” Howard shook his head and started knotting up the blanket to weigh her. “You think the Army is just gonna up and let you get married? Where you gonna have your honeymoon? Hitler’s cottage in the Alps?”

“I’m not asking them,” Steve crossed his arms across his chest, defiant.

“Yeah, I see that.” Howard set her gently down and scribbled more numbers. “I couldn’t be happier for ya,” Howard started working the calipers around her arms and legs, measuring quickly. “But they’re gonna give you hell.”

Howard nodded his head, signaling he was done with his measurements. Steve picked her up instantly. “On the plus side, I think it gives us an edge with Mandy.”

Peggy put her hand on his arm, reaching up to make sure the collar on her dress wasn’t too tight. She looked up at Steve, confused as Howard was. “What do you mean?”

Steve took a deep breath. “What if…” Steve stopped, looked at Mandy, and started again with stronger resolve. “What if we make her famous, but not in the way you mentioned yesterday.”

Howard chuckled, putting his instruments away. “Gonna need more to go on than that, friend.”

Steve looked at the scientist, “You said there’s no medical way to prove she isn’t mine and Peggy’s daughter.”

Howard shrugged, putting his calculations back in the book he was using to store them. “Well, no, but...”

“What if Captain America and Peggy Carter have a daughter?” He looked at Peggy, eyes blazing. “We publicize a homecoming before the Army even knows we’re back. ‘Captain America takes a break off the front lines to meet his daughter.’ They can’t tell the truth without discrediting themselves, and me, and because we’ve just screwed up whatever they’d been planning, she’d have to stay with us.”

Howard was impressed. “The public outcry and negative press alone if they tried to split you up…”

Peggy’s face was still stern, in no way sold. “You’d be ruining your reputation.”

“Plus, there’s plenty of people on that base that can swear to you not being pregnant.” Howard supplied, pulling a stool over to sit.

Peggy rolled her eyes at him, “And I’m sure we have plenty that would swear we’ve been sleeping together for quite a long time.”

Steve started pacing, bouncing Mandy as he went. “Look, we can tell the press whatever we want, right? And most of it would be true. We fell in love in the middle of the war. We ended up with a surprise baby. We want to be a happy family.” He looked Peggy in the eyes, letting her see the intensity of his feelings. “None of that is a lie.”

Howard pulled on his mustache. “Really not the worst idea in the world.”

“And Peggy in my compass has already been in a newsreel. Anyone who’s doubting us being together can look that up.” Steve looked desperately between the two of them. “They hated that little slip, but it gives us credibility.”

Peggy let her hand run over Steve’s shoulder, slowly starting to warm to the idea. “And they can’t out me as being a spy without seriously compromising several other people who are still undercover now.”

Howard’s eyebrows came together as pulled up a memory. “You were away for a few months there. Timeline with her birth would line up.”

“I was actually infiltrating a Hydra faction in Copenhagen.” She nodded. “For someone in Hydra to out me would be for them to admit an SSR spy infiltrated them. For the US to out me as anything other than Colonel Phillip’s assistant would be to put a target on the SSR’s operations.”

Steve started to calm, feeling like this was something they could really make happen. “We make her famous just long enough for the US to see the value in Captain America having a real, honest family on the home front.” 

“You know they’ll send at least you back,” Howard looked at Steve, serious. “Maybe they’ll let Peggy stay, but they’re gonna send you back.”

He shrugged, cradling Mandy’s head to his chest. “She needs someone to protect her. For now, Peggy’s more than enough.”

Howard sighed, standing. “The only way this works is if she isn’t growing at an exponential rate. If she is, she can’t be in the public spotlight.” Howard put the hard truth on the table. “People would notice if she was the size of a one year old four months from now.”

Peggy turned, trying to peek his notes. “Well, what’s the verdict?”

“Same size as last night.” He nodded, somewhat happily. “If we don’t see any change by the time we get to New York, I’m pretty sound in my assessment that she was just malnourished and the serum caught her up quick.”

“It makes sense. I don’t heal at an even rate, either.” Steve shrugged. “Feed me and let me sleep it off, I’m can do in hours what might take days sometimes.”

“Here,” Howard handed Peggy a valise that was full of men’s shirts in various colors. “I’ve heard Steve’s wardrobe is running a little thin, so I’m gonna sacrifice some shirts to the cause. See what Ana can make out of them.”

“Your dedication to the cause will absolutely get you named Godfather,” Peggy bowed taking the shirts.

Steve faked relief. “My closet thanks you.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to me being too generous.” Howard’s stern words were meaningless and they all knew it. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “We’ve gotta find out who is spying on you, and why.”

Peggy nodded, opening the door to leave the lab. “You talk to the Captain, we’ll figure that out.”

~*~

* * *

“Goodness, you weren’t kidding!” Ana looked at the dresses Peggy handed her, comparing the size of the nightdress that she was filling out to the day dresses that were cutting off the circulation in her arms.

Peggy sighed, keeping Mandy still on her knee as Ana tried to measure against her. “Goodness, no. Between whatever growth spurt she’s having and their losing our luggage I’m afraid we’re in a bind.”

“Not to worry,” Ana pulled out her sewing basket and cleared the small table in her room. Peggy noticed it looked much like theirs, if not a little smaller. “My mending is better than my dressmaking, that’s true, but I can make something passible for the next few days.”

“It’s better than I can do, I assure you.” Peggy sighed with relief. She hadn’t told Steve that she’d had another nightmare about Mandy growing to be an enormous toddler; so large that Peggy couldn’t lift her. The quicker she stopped worrying about the girl growing out of her clothes in a dangerous manner the better. She lifted the valise Howard had given her from next to her on the floor and handed it to Ana. “Here, Howard’s given up some shirts to the cause.”

Ana took them, but looked slightly suspicious. “Steve didn’t have any extra?”

Peggy cringed. “Steve’s already sacrificed two undershirts and one button down to the ‘we’re running out of nappies’ cause.”

“Oh my.” Ana was scandalized as she sat, unfolding the first soft blue shirt. “We’ll see if we can make some of those, then, too.”

~*~

* * *

“Steve?” Peggy called a few hours later, quietly pushing the pram back into their room. “Mandy’s asleep, and Ana is absolutely amazing. I’ve made a new friend for life.”

“Yeah?” he asked, stepping out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his hips, showering after his morning in the gym.

“Oh, my,” Peggy parked the pram and stepped over to him. “That’s quite… inviting.” She let her fingers run down his chest, stopping at where the towel was tucked tight.

Steve grabbed her hands gently, pulling them up and away. He leaned to her ear and whispered, “Painting and headboard,” before he kissed her gently. “You caught me just out of the shower,” he said louder.

Peggy smiled sadly. They knew their eavesdropper was probably going to plant new bugs, but she had hoped they were going to be wrong. “Too bad I didn’t catch you in it still,” she wagged her eyebrows at him, enjoying the flirt, anyway. It was so easy to pretend, just for a moment, that they didn’t have a care in the world.

He laced his fingers through hers. “How’d it go?”

“Lovely.” She tipped her head at the pram. “Ana’s made us another night dress and three new day dresses.”

His head tilted in surprise. “That was really fast.”

Peggy unwound a hand from his and let it come to rest on his chest. She drew patterns with her fingers, tracing the outline of his muscles. “She felt so bad we’d lost so much luggage, she whipped them out in no time. She did say they weren’t that sturdy, that they probably wouldn’t survive a good scrubbing, but they’d get us to New York, at least.”

Steve let his free hand find her hip, then slide back, sitting possessively on the curve of her ass. “She’s my new favorite person.”

Peggy tried to look offended, but the lust that was growing inside her made her expression coyer than she planned. “I’ll try not to take offense.”

Steve kissed her soundly. “After you.”

“Damn right,” She pressed her lips to his again, this time more insistent. She deepened the kiss slowly sliding her hands down his chest until she reached the towel, swiftly yanking it from between them.

Steve pulled his lips from hers, eyes wide and scandalized. She could only laugh, even though she hadn’t taken her eyes from his. “What? I’m not allowed to see my _husband_ naked?”

His lips curled in a devilish grin as he backed her up towards the bed. She licked her lips, still not giving in to look lower than his eyes. With what seemed like no effort he lifted her off her feet by the waist and tossed her in the center of the bed.

She bit her lip, feeling a fire growing deep inside her, her heart pounding as she reached down and pulled her heels off as he kneeled on the bed, crawling toward her.

“Show off,” she murmured as he loomed over her, kneeling between her legs. She lifted her thighs, crossing her ankles over his hips as he sank down against her.

He kissed up her neck, burrowing his hands beneath her to find the zipper at the back of her dress. His lips met hers again as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, dragging her nails down his back.

His fingers had just found the zipper when they heard the crash of the door busting open wide. “Steve, you guys are—" Steve jumped up off of Peggy so quickly he lost his balance and tumbled off the bed, bumping into the pram. Amanda, who was already crying from the loud noise of the door being thrown open, started wailing louder. Peggy scrambled to her knees, pulling her skirt down. Howard, who had run into the room, knocking the door into the wall, quickly turned and hid his eyes with his hands.

“Why are you in here?” Peggy demanded angrily, pulling the blanket off the bed and handing it down to Steve as she stepped over him to lift Mandy from the pram.

Howard still had his back turned and moved to close the door that hadn’t shut fully. “What are you doing?” He demanded, scandalized.

“Why are you in our room?” Peggy demanded again, slightly louder and more insistent.

“You were late for lunch!” Howard turned, his hand up to keep him from seeing anything he didn’t want to, he pulled it down slowly as he saw Steve wrapping the blanket tight around his hips. “I came to make sure everything was ok!”

“Why,” Steve started, much calmer than either Howard or Peggy, though very much still as angry, “wouldn’t you knock?”

Howard shrugged, still shocked, “Who knocks when they think something’s wrong?”

“People on the other side of _closed doors_ ,” Peggy told him off, Amanda’s cries fading to whimpers.

Howard pressed his lips together, damned if he was going to be blamed for this one. “And who doesn’t lock their doors when they’re doing…that!” He flailed his hand toward the bed before putting them on his hips. They all looked at one another, the adrenaline starting to wear off. “Look, I was just worried,” he said, hands up and contrite. His shoulders dropped. “You guys aren’t usually late.”

Steve held up his hand, stopping any of them from saying more, tugged at his ear, and pointed to where the new bugs were for Howard’s edification, to which he nodded his understanding. “Howard, I’m sorry we scared you,” Steve apologized.

“Well, that’s fine, but we still have a lot to talk about,” Howard tried to sound natural, but it sounded less than genuine. “Maybe you should put some pants on and we can get some lunch before they stop serving it.”

Steve nodded, grabbing his clothes from where they were folded on the dresser. He kept his other hand firmly on the blanket as he trudged into the bathroom.

Howard sidled up to Peggy, whispering quietly enough that he didn’t think the bugs could hear him. “The USO’s been missing out. They’d make much more in War Bonds if they put that side of him on the posters.” He held his hands up like he was envisioning a headline. “America’s Ass.”

Peggy elbowed him swiftly and he doubled over. “Don’t be crass.”


	10. A Well-Choreographed Ballet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Peggy endeavor to catch whoever has been listening to them…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a note about the rating change. This is another reason why I don’t generally post WIPs. When I started this I would have sworn there was no way it would go adult. It has. At least twice so far… I upped the rating early to try to keep it a surprise, as well as account for the “America’s Ass” section of the last chapter. For anyone NOT comfortable with adult situations that wants to continue reading, chapters that have adult content WILL have a warning in the Author’s Note. All adult content can easily be skipped with minimal to no impact in the story aside from increasing Steve and Peggy’s bond. 
> 
> Second, This chapter contains one of my best AU ideas ever under the guise of normal lunch conversation. Except that I’m not good enough to write it. There’s a spark, but no real full story there, you know? If you like it, and you want to write it, go for it, just make sure you let me know when you’ve written it, because I sure as HELL want to read it.

Howard, shook his head, unconvinced. “Well, I think it’s a great idea.” He lowered his voice as he took another roll from the basket on the table, “Seven o’clock, comb over.”

“No,” Peggy whispered quickly, rocking Mandy in the pram as she sipped her tea.

“Library yesterday.” Steve replied quietly before returning to his normal timbre, “But what do you even know about baseball?”

“Blonde at 2 o’clock.” Howard whispered again. He brightened his face and voice, “I don’t have to know anything about baseball. I have to hire people who know about baseball.” He sipped his coffee. “If Harvey can do it, I can get in on the action. Who wouldn’t want a team full of beautiful women in short skirts?”

“You’re a pig,” Peggy spat out. “Tea, every day,” she murmured.

Steve nodded, “You know, some people actually _enjoy_ the game of baseball, doesn’t matter who’s playing. Library.”

Lunch was peppered with the three of them identifying people they’d noticed throughout their conversations, trying to hide the clock positions in the room under their breaths as they talked about Howard’s desire to own a team in the All American Girl’s Baseball League. “Well, hell if I’m going to let a man like Walter Harvey surround himself with more beautiful women than I do.”

They were quiet for a moment, lunch winding down and contemplating their afternoon. Peggy, uneasy, spoke first. “I think we should consider letting Mr. Jarvis in on your business deal.”

Steve was surprised, but Howard smiled a little. “He’s growing on you, right?”

Peggy nodded, a true smile on her face. “He and his wife are quite wonderful.” Her deep breath transformed her back to all business. “But the fact remains we need more than three people to make this work. We need someone, or more than one someone, who can do some real legwork.”

Howard nodded. “Right after lunch.”

~*~

* * *

Howard’s room was quite a bit more opulent than Peggy’s or Ana’s: there was a sitting room and a bar when they walked in, and the bedroom and bathroom were separate, closed off rooms. Without a word, Howard held his hand out as they entered and Steve supplied the small black box he carried with him everywhere. Howard made a quiet sweep of the space and found nothing.

“Odd,” he remarked. “If they were bugging you, I was sure they’d be bugging me.”

Peggy sat, settling Mandy in her lap and giving her the knit bunny to play with. “Perhaps you were, but they needed to get some of their equipment back. Steve and I have made their resources quite scarce.”

Howard pressed his lips together. “How many did you break?”

“Two,” Steve replied, proud of himself. “Made the others a little less useful, too.”

“You’re not doing yourself a favor,” Howard retorted as they all heard the polite knock of Mr. Jarvis on the door. Howard opened it and led Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis in. “Sit, please.”

Ana sat close to Peggy, smiling brightly at Mandy. Mr. Jarvis looked slightly flummoxed as he sat, unused to doing such in Howard’s room. “Am I to guess this is a social call, Mr. Stark?”

Howard shook his head. “No, my friend. I’m afraid we’ve got some tough things to discuss.”

Ana’s head popped up, looking at Peggy with fear in her eyes. “Oh?”

Peggy sighed, reaching out to hold Ana’s hand. “You must understand, it was all for the best reasons.”

Jarvis and Ana were both on edge, looking to Howard. “They’re not my cousins,” he admitted. “Edwin, Ana, I’d like to introduce you to Captain Steve Rogers and Agent Peggy Carter.”

Jarvis’s head whipped around to stare at Steve. “As in, Captain America Steve Rogers?” Steve nodded, his lips pressed together tightly.

Ana, for her part, looked much more hurt. “And Amanda?”

Peggy held Mandy close. “Five days ago, we rescued Amanda from a Hydra Lab. We found her quite by accident.”

Howard finally sat, elbows on his knees. “Steve and Peggy were tasked with smuggling Mandy out of Europe. Hydra wants her back, bad, and that means we can’t let them get her.”

Ana’s face fell, stricken. “But what would a group like Hydra want with a baby?”

Peggy, Howard, and Steve all shared a look, but it was Steve who made the decision to continue to share. “We have some pretty good evidence they were experimenting on her- trying to make her like me.”

“Unconscionable,” Jarvis murmured.

“I’m sorry we lied to you,” Peggy held Ana’s gaze, “but it was too important to take any chances.”

Ana nodded, though her eyes were still full of hurt. “You didn’t know us.”

Jarvis agreed, nodding vigorously. “Best to keep up appearances.” He looked at Howard, “But why let us in on it now?”

“We know you now,” Peggy tried to smile at Ana.

“And we need your help.” Steve finished for her. “We’ve found listening devices in our room.”

Peggy looked between Ana and Jarvis, “We won’t be able to figure out who it is, or what they want, on our own.”

“We need to protect Amanda,” Steve continued, “but we also need to find out more so we can go back and stop them from doing this to another child.”

“How can we help?” Jarvis asked without hesitation.

~*~

* * *

What they ended up with was no less than a well-choreographed ballet.

From the design of the bugs, Howard figured whoever it was that was listening couldn’t have been more than a few rooms away to get a clear signal. Jarvis was tasked with “assisting housekeeping” and delivering fresh towels to each room close to them in order to get a look and see if anything was out of place.

Ana was set to be Peggy’s shadow as she carried Mandy around the boat, keeping a public presence up. Ana could watch from afar to see if anyone seemed to be tracking or keeping tabs, but could just as easily step in and pretend to be looking for Peggy as they’d been seen at tea together often.

Just before dinner was when the real test began. Peggy and Steve met at their room, rambling a list of places they were both going to go before meeting up for dinner once again, saying nothing about who was taking Mandy. Peggy, with an empty pram, left quickly and took a left out of their room. Steve left a few minutes after, Mandy held tight in the blanket in his arms as he went right.

Ana followed behind Peggy by the length of a corridor, sometimes in view, sometimes not, as she made her way to the game room. Anna passed the small room, watching as Peggy set the pram next to her and set about a game of solitaire.

Ana kept moving, and two decks up she passed Steve in the corridor, surreptitiously accepting the room key he slipped to her as they passed with a quick greeting. She nodded to Mr. Jarvis, only a few steps behind Steve, as they made their way to the library.

With everyone else out, Ana made her way into Steve and Peggy’s room. She made quick work of pocketing all the small round bugs Peggy had told her about and plucking out the wires as Mr. Stark had instructed. She made a lap of the room, carefully scanning with the small black box they’d given her, finding one more little electronic and pulling it apart. She left quickly, locking the door behind her and making her way up to the outdoor deck. With a casual look to make sure she was alone, she dumped the mass of wires in her hand over the rail and into the ocean.

Mr. Jarvis, meanwhile, had passed the library once Steve was settled and moved to the bowels of the ship. In the laundry he found a white tablecloth and a blanket that was similar, though not quite the same, as the soft grey one Mandy was usually swaddled in. From there, he made his way to the kitchen, picking up one of the silver carts on his way and draping it with the white tablecloth. On the top tier he filled it with empty covered dishes. The bottom tier he filled with the blanket and bags of rice, five in all, hidden by the white linen.

He moved off, pushing the cart and keeping his eyes peeled as he moved toward the rendezvous point.

He met Peggy first in the rotunda, the two of them maneuvering the pram and cart into a corner. They were quickly met by Ana and Howard, with Steve joining them last and stepping into the corner, Amanda in his arms.

The conversation was inane until Peggy asked Steve to look at the wheel on the pram, saying it felt unsteady. He bent, hidden from sight by Jarvis’ cart, and when he stood, he smiled and put the bundle in his arms into the pram. Peggy fixed the blankets around the bundle and cooed into the carriage before she and Steve moved away, headed back to their room.

Jarvis and Ana also left, though his face was somewhat tighter and he was absolutely more careful with the cart than he had been previously.

Howard turned, leaving himself at a much more leisurely manner than before, right in the same direction as Steve and Peggy.

~*~

* * *

Peggy parked the pram by the bed as Steve looked around the room to make sure they could speak freely. “They’re gone.”

Peggy looked at him over her shoulder as she pulled their suitcase out and brought out the two pistols. “Good.” She handed him one and holstered her own around her thigh.

Steve slipped the shoulder holster on and grabbed his trench coat, hiding it. “You ready?”

She reached up, grabbing his neck and kissing him soundly. “Now I am.” She walked past him, opening the door and walking out into the hallway. “Just a few minutes?” she asked, playing up sounding concerned.

Steve stepped out into the hall as well, his voice louder than normal. “Just a few minutes, she’s fast asleep.”

They walked away from their door and around the corner.

~*~

* * *

Howard was coming down the opposite corridor, moving leisurely, when he spotted the blonde. He slowed even further, putting more distance between them. She’d called herself Ida when he met her on deck the day they sailed away and gave him some sob story about losing her grandmother and trying to get to America to find long lost family.

And then she’d kissed him, and he’d promptly forgotten most of what she’d said.

While Howard guessed he should expect beautiful women to be spies after meeting Peggy, he had not been counting on Ida having surveillance equipment and a pair of handcuffs in her room. Jarvis had been quite specific about what he’d found when he entered under the guise of housekeeping while she was out.

They’d spotted Ida at every meal they shared, at teas, and in the library. While it was a small boat, all put together this was far from a coincidence.

Ida turned the corner to reach Steve and Peggy’s room and Howard stopped at the corner, waiting long enough to hear the click of her undoing the lock and the soft sounds of her closing the door.

He rounded the corner and was met by Steve and Peggy, Peg with her gun drawn and held at her side. Steve and Peggy surrounded the door, and on her count, Steve threw the door open, Peggy stepping in and her gun held high.

Ida spun, dropping the bag of rice she’d lifted from the pram to the floor, the bag splitting and the grains spilling at her feet.

“Don’t move,” Peggy ordered, moving into the room, flanked by Steve and Howard.

Ida’s hands went up, her fingers wiggling. She smiled a haughty smirk. “I suppose I’m caught.”

“Damn right, you’re caught,” Howard said, moving to her side. “And we want answers.”

She looked at him pityingly. “Oh, of course you do.” She shrugged. “Too bad you’re not getting any.”

She moved swiftly, kicking the rice from the floor into Peggy’s face as she brought her arm down, deflecting the gun away. She managed to kick Peggy’s hip, sending her off balance even further and sprawling to the floor, but she couldn’t get past Steve, who was able to get behind her and wrap her arms close to her side as he held her.

Howard, once he was over the initial shock of the attack, ran to Steve’s side and grabbed her ankles, stopping the assault she was mounting on Steve’s shins.

Ida stopped struggling, her face furious. “You can’t hold me.”

“Looks like we’re doing a good job of it at the moment, doll,” Howard replied as Peggy stood, wincing.

It took all three of them, both men’s belts, and Peggy’s robe tie, but they managed to secure he to one of the chairs in the room. “What are you doing here?” Peggy demanded.

“On vacation,” the blonde happily replied, mischief playing in her eyes.

Peggy tried again, sitting across from her. “Who are you?”

She didn’t blink. “Ida Emke.”

Peggy continued to ask questions without taking a breath. “Where are you from?”

“Iowa.” She was blank faced and studied Peggy’s every word.

Peggy paused looking her up and down. “What do you want with the baby?”

Ida laughed. “I don’t want anything with her.” She held Peggy’s gaze steady, challenging her to ask another question.

Peggy didn’t flinch, just leaned back in the chair, crossing her legs. “So, you’re a peon, then.”

There was a flash of panic in the woman’s eyes, but it was gone as soon as it’d come. “Oh, I’m more than you can imagine.”

Peggy huffed out a laugh. “Oh, I have quite the good imagination. So, if you’re not going to tell me, then I can’t help you.” Peggy looked her in the eyes. “See, I can imagine that you’re just a little soldier in this war. A pawn, given a job and just as easily forgotten if you don’t manage to make it to the other side of the chessboard.” Peggy stood, walking around the restrained woman. “Now, you can tell me what we need to know and perhaps there will be a deal on the table when we get to New York, or you can stay quiet, and I’ll see to it you get locked up in the smallest, darkest cell I can find.”

Ida laughed. “You can’t scare me.” Her eyes clouded over with dark, long hidden memories. “I’ve pulled out my own fingernails, ripped out my own teeth. Killed my best friend. There’s nothing you can threaten me with that would scare me.”

Peggy stepped forward, hands on the arms of the chair as she leaned into Ida’s space. “Well, then, maybe I’ll just ship you back to England with only the clothes on your back and see what your employer has to say about you failing your mission.”

Peggy knew she didn’t imagine the fear in her eyes, but at this point she didn’t much care.

~*~

* * *

Peggy nearly pushed past Jarvis in an attempt to get into his room. “How is she?” she asked desperately as Ana put the baby in her arms.

Ana laughed as Peggy cuddled the baby close, “Well, she wasn’t exactly impressed by our transportation methods, but she is absolutely just fine.”

“A delight,” Jarvis supplied, amused as Peggy looked her over. “Napped most of the time.”

Mandy looked up at Peggy, smiling brightly and reaching for her face. Peggy sighed heavily. “Well, it’s over, for now.”

Ana cleared her sewing from the chair and signaled Peggy to sit. “How did it go?”

“Almost too easy,” Peggy replied, still enthralled with the little girl. “It was a woman, a trained spy, from what I can tell. And she’s good.”

“Where is she now?” Jarvis asked.

“Steve and Howard are escorting her to a holding cell down below.”

Ana looked scandalized. “There’s a jail onboard?”

“All ships have some sort of brig, my love,” Jarvis responded, nonplussed. “What’s our next step?”

“Stay vigilant.” Peggy couldn’t help the melancholy that crept into her voice. “She may not have been alone, nor will she simply give up.”

~*~

* * *

Steve finished feeding Mandy and laid her on his shoulder, gently patting her back. From his spot on the bed he could see that Peggy hadn’t moved from the chair where she perched herself long ago after she finished cleaning up the rice from the floor. 

“You’ve been quiet since dinner.” He tried to catch her eyes, but she was staring somewhere past her own foot at the floor, twirling the edge of a curl around her finger. Her hum of a response told him she wasn’t really paying attention. “I was thinking of jumping off the bow and taking a swim.”

“Sounds good,” she replied, not having registered a word he said.

“I was going to take Mandy with me…”

“M-hum,” she hummed back.

Steve stood and placed Mandy on the middle of the bed before he walked towards her slowly, crouching in front of her. “Thought I’d use her as shark bait.”

“Wait, what?” Peggy finally snapped out of her reverie, her eyes on Steve’s face, utterly bewildered.

“Where were you?” He let his hand drift over her knee, rubbing in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

She shook her head, trying to erase the barrage of thoughts. “Trying to figure out Ida.” She put her hand on his, holding tight. “Trying to figure out why they’re…” She shook her head and sighed, trying to force a smile. “I suppose I should be happy.”

“Not much to be very happy about,” he flipped his hand in hers and laced their fingers together. “We have a day and a half left at sea—"

“…and we’re still no closer to finding out anything we actually need to know.”

He stood and pulled her up, holding her close and swaying in something that was almost like a dance. She molded to him, letting her head rest against his chest as he held her in the middle of the floor. “We can’t stop, she might not have been alone.”

“We’re not stopping,” he whispered. “Mandy’s right there, fast asleep and safe.”

She pulled back, looking up at him. “As much as I hate to say it, we might not be able to protect her on our own.”

Steve brushed her hair back over her shoulder and caressed her cheek. “I think you’re right.”

“I was hoping we were overreacting.” She shook her head. “I don’t think we are. She needs to be protected.”

~*~

* * *

Howard looked at her through the bars. “Name.”

“Marilyn Monroe.”

“Name.”

“Vivian Leigh.”

“Name.”

“Doris Day.”

“Name.”

From her place behind the bars, Ida leaned back against the wall next to the bunk where she was sitting. “Oh, go to hell. I’m getting tired of this.”

“Like I’m not?” Howard leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “You really think keeping secrets is going to help you?”

The blonde stared at him, her face stone.

“Fine. Have it your way. Name.”

~*~

* * *

Peggy couldn’t sleep. She’d counted sheep, and Steve’s heartbeats, and gotten up and changed and fed Mandy already. No matter what she did she found herself lying in the dark, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out how it was all going to play out.

She couldn’t find her way to a happy ending.

Just days ago, she was dreaming of happily-ever-afters with Steve and a little house with a little family. Even just this morning she’d still felt the undercurrent of happiness, flirting and trying to pretend there wasn’t someone real on the other side of the electronic listening devices.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw SSR labs that morphed to Hyrda labs, saw rows and rows of little girls with no life behind their eyes and inhuman strength, saw Mandy growing older in a cell, drawings taped to walls to brighten the drab grey cinderblocks.

Married or not, she was back in the European trenches, surrounded by death and sadness, loss and despair. She tried to find her way back to those daydreams of running away with Mandy and Steve, of leaving the war behind and being selfish for once…

She couldn’t call them up. Couldn’t even imagine them anymore.

She rolled to her left, reaching out and snuggling into Steve’s side. He sighed, pulling her closer and kissing her on the temple. “Can’t sleep?” She shook her head, but otherwise said nothing. “Want to talk about it?” Peggy shook her head again. She wasn’t sure if talking about it would make her feel better or cause the pain and fear to redouble within her.

His hand floated across her skin up and over her shoulder a few times as he tried to think and comfort her without words. He gave her a soft squeeze, having made up his mind on how to go about getting her to sleep.

Steve cleared his throat, starting his story softly in the darkness. “In 1191, when Richard the Lion-Heart set forth to drive infidels from the Holy Land, he gave his Kingdom to his trusted friend, Longchamp, instead of his horrible brother, Prince John. John, bitter and resentful, wished for something horrible to befall his brother so that he could seize the throne for himself…”


	11. The Commodity of Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They each get a turn at trying to get some information out of Ida.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has come to my attention through various reviews that some people reading this have never seen the Agent Carter TV series. While I have mixed feelings about Season 2, Season 1 is ABSOLUTELY worth the watch and should drastically increase your appreciation/enjoyment/understanding for Jarvis, Howard, Ana, and Ida. There will be more Agent Carter characters popping up as chapters move forward, and while the story should be understandable without knowing this ahead of time, if you love Peggy and you haven’t watched Agent Carter, please run, don’t walk. Go. Please.

Peggy was impeccably dressed, though still tired, by the time she relieved Howard. She’d managed a few hours, falling asleep sometime around when Robin of Locksley greeted Maid Marion in Sherwood Forrest. “Anything interesting?” she asked as Howard stood, looking worse for the wear.

“We’re still on ‘Name,’” he replied, throwing a torturous look towards the exhausted woman in the cell.

“Betty Boop,” Ida supplied, popping the last “P” sound and smiling around the hate-filled stare she gave him.

“Steve’s going to meet you for breakfast,” Peggy supplied quietly. Howard nodded, handing Peggy the empty notebook he’d been holding in hopes of gathering any information through the night.

Ida barely waited for the door to close behind Stark before she started speaking, tired eyes trying their best to look sharp. “Looking to get me sleep deprived? Hoping I’ll slip up?”

Peggy tossed the useless notebook in the chair Howard had vacated, preferring to stand. “That’s a bit predictable, don’t you think?” Ida shrugged. “No, keeping you up for a night isn’t going to crack someone like you. You have training.” Ida couldn’t hide the curiosity that made her eyes brighten just a little, and it had been just what Peggy was hoping for: a small sign that maybe they could get under her skin. “Those moves you used were good.”

Ida smiled, pleased with herself. “You’re not half bad, either.”

“See, had Steve not been there, you’d have done a lot more damage.” Peggy stepped closer to the bars. “Though I doubt you’d have bested me.”

“You were on the floor, in a pile of rice as I recall,” Ida snickered, leaning forward. “That Steve of yours is something…” Ida stood, sashaying over to the bars. “When he had his arms around me he felt so strong.” She shimmied her shoulders and let the last words drip with entendre. “I bet I could find out just how strong he really is.”

Instead of falling to her bait, Peggy just smiled slyly. “Oh, you can’t imagine how strong he is,” Peggy hummed happily, “and I don’t have to.”

Ida’s face soured. “You’re not getting what you want.”

“Oh, maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, either.” Peggy shrugged and sat in the room’s only chair. “Maybe not even once we get you back to New York.” Peggy crossed her legs and flipped the small notebook open, ready to take notes even though she knew it would be fruitless. “Whether we get any information at all is really immaterial.”

Ida sat back on her cot, scowling at Peggy as she swung her legs up. “So, what do you want with me?”

Peggy shrugged, “To draw more of them out.”

Ida rolled her eyes and laughed humorlessly. “You were more on track last night when you said you should send me back to England. Leviathan isn’t going to come after me. I’m worthless to them.”

Peggy didn’t move, just waited to see how Ida reacted to her own words. When she saw Ida’s chest start to rise and fall just a little faster, her heart rate and breathing elevated at her slip even though her face didn’t betray anything, Peggy smiled. “So, Leviathan?”

~*~

* * *

Steve parked the pram next to the table, sitting heavily. “Sorry I’m late.”

Howard shook his head, pushing his hand down and away lazily, dismissing Steve’s apology. “Don’t be, I think I got a nap in between cups of coffee.” Howard yawned. “You don’t look that great either.”

Steve rearranged the blankets around Mandy and made sure she had her bunny in her hand. “I don’t think Peggy or I slept at all last night.”

“She looked better than you, my friend.” Howard signaled the waiter for more coffee.

Steve nodded. “She’s convinced she can get into that woman’s head.”

Howard put his face in his hands and scrubbed it, trying to bring more life to himself. “What’s the plan?”

Steve crossed his arms on the table, hunching over. “We’ve got to regroup. If we can get anything from this woman…”

“That’s not exactly what I meant. We’ve got 24 hours if we’re looking at either orchestrating an escape or a wedding.” He put his hands down. “I’m gonna need a little notice for either.”

Steve sighed, ordering his breakfast and buying himself some time. Once the waiter walked away, he couldn’t avoid Howard’s stare. “Peggy and I talked about it a little.”

“And?”

Steve reached over and pushed the pram back and forth gently. “We’re not happy with any of the options.”

Howard’s eyebrows rose in surprise as he sat back. “Including the getting married thing?”

“Well, I mean…” Steve shrugged, “That we’re still… I think we’re still...” He sighed, forehead wrinkling as his face fell. “We didn’t talk about that part.”

“You’ve got to help me out, buddy, my brain’s fried right now.” Howard waited until the waiters had set their food in front of them and left before he continued. “What are you rethinking?”

Steve picked up his fork, poking at his eggs but not having any intent. “As much as Peggy and I would like to think she’d be safe with just us, she wouldn’t be.” He put the fork down and pushed his plate away, leaning forward to whisper. “You’re the only one we know qualified to even begin to understand her physiology, it’s not like we can just take her to any doctor and tell them that she’s got super soldier serum in her blood.”

“That is true,” Howard agreed, trying to stay open to what Steve was telling him as he ate.

“And we both can’t be with her every moment of every day, especially as she grows up.” Steve put his head in his hands. “I don’t know. We didn’t decide anything.”

“Finding that broad did it,” Howard swallowed a mouthful of coffee, his eyes starting to finally get brighter. “It just hit you how real it all is once you were face to face with some woman who was ready to take Amanda?”

“Yeah.” Steve nodded.

“Look, I agree that no matter what you two decide, there are going to be a lot of problems.” He put his silverware down and leaned forward. “But if you guys want to disappear, this is it. Now is the time to decide that. We’ve got Ida- or whatever her name is- down there. We can come up with a story and lay it on her. Now is the time to decide that.” Howard could see the confusion in Steve’s eyes and leaned back, letting it drop. “Eat. Maybe take a nap after this. You two need clear heads for the next few days.”

Steve, still unsure about everything else, picked up his fork and started to eat.

~*~

* * *

“Name?” Peggy asked, unbothered.

“Babe Ruth,” Ida replied, the words flat.

“Leviathan?”

“A candy bar.”

“Name?”

“Lou Gehrig.”

“Leviathan?”

“French perfume.”

Peggy paused, breaking up their rhythm. She’d been working different angles for hours now and finally got bored and resorted to Howard’s straightforward manner of interrogation. Thankfully, Mr. Jarvis was due any minute to relieve her. “You really have nothing more to say?”

Ida looked at her and slowly stood, making her way to the bars. She crooked a finger at Peggy, smiling just a little. Peggy stood, but didn’t step closer. “You want to know a secret?”

Peggy stepped forward just enough to humor her.

Ida bored her eyes through Peggy, dark and desperate. “I don’t have any loyalties.”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the least.” Peggy rolled her eyes, taking a small step towards the woman., “But that’s also not going to get you anywhere with me.”

“I could help you,” Ida offered, wrapping her hands around the bars.

“And yet, you won’t, as evidenced by the last few irritating hours.” Peggy took one final step, standing only a few inches away from the bars and eye to eye with the woman. “Leviathan doesn’t care where you end up, and I don’t either.”

Ida moved like lightning, grabbed Peggy’s right hand and pulled it through the bars, pinning Peggy against them. “You should,” Ida cooed. “You two aren’t just some cute couple, and you’re absolutely not your everyday GIs like I thought you were at first. You’re someone special. I just don’t know who yet. And some of those things I heard… I know they weren’t faked.” Darkness swirled in her eyes, her voice full of what she felt were lurid details. “I’m sure your superiors would _love_ to know about the two of you rolling around in bed on a mission.”

Peggy, though pinned with her shoulder against the bars and her hand twisted in Ida’s grip, acted as though she were standing comfortably. “I can assure you, anything you’d have to say would be met with utter suspicion.”

Ida laughed and held up Peggy’s hand between them. She grasped Peggy’s pinky tight. Peggy struggled, trying to pull her hand away, but the woman’s grip was too firm. With a smile, Ida pulled and bent her finger back until they both felt a snap.

Peggy grit her teeth but didn’t bat an eyelash.

Ida let go, smiling a genuine smile. “Well good for you, Peggy!” She stepped back, away from any potential retaliation, though Peggy didn’t move except to pull her arm back through the bars. “Maybe I have underestimated you.”

Peggy stood straight, teeth clenched, arms at her sides, her pinky at an awkward angle and turning bright red. “You have,” she said briskly after a long moment. “I’ll get what I need one way or another, and you’ll get what’s coming to you.”

Before Ida could say anything in her defense, the door opened revealing Mr. Jarvis. “I’ve come to relieve you.”

Peggy’s smile was tight. “Quite good timing, I think.” She looked at Ida, then back at Jarvis. “Keep your distance, Mr. Jarvis, and whatever you do, don’t let her sleep.”

Peggy slipped out quietly, leaving the two of them alone. Once away from the door she doubled over, cringing and hugging her hand to her chest.

Ida’s voice filled her ears, light and saccharine. “You seem like a real nice man, Mr. Jarvis.”

Jarvis, thankfully, wasn’t so easily swayed. “Well, yes, I do try. However, I was told that you’re quite the actress and I should not listen to a word you say. So, for this morning’s entertainment, I’ll be regaling you with my adventures in organizing Mr. Stark’s spice cabinet.”

~*~

* * *

Peggy banged on the door of Howard’s office, not caring how loud she was being. He whipped it open and she flew in, holding her hand out. “Please tell me you have some medical experience.”

“PhDs, not MDs, Peg.” He took her hand anyway and looked it over before opening the door to the back lab. “What happened?”

Steve was up off the stool in a flash. “What’s wrong?”

She flinched as Howard prodded it, Steve leaning over his shoulder. “I made a stupid mistake. I got too close to Ida and she broke my finger.”

“Dislocated, I think.” Howard said, letting Steve take over the holding as he looked for his first aid kit.

Steve nodded, turning her hand over in his gently. “Yeah, dislocated. I’ve done that before.” He shrugged when Peggy looked up at him, “I missed a good grip on my shield a time or two when I was first getting used to it.”

She didn’t follow up as a shock of pain ran up her arm to her elbow and she winced. “Can you fix it?” she asked, her hand starting to shake with the pain. She turned away, looking at Mandy asleep in her pram instead of focusing on the grotesque shape of her finger.

Steve nodded again. “Sit.” He guided her to the stool he was just sitting in. He wrapped one hand around the palm of her hand then grabbed her pinky in the other. She took a deep breath, the pain shooting up her arm as he adjusted his grip. “Ready?”

She nodded and closed her eyes tight. She could still see Ida’s satisfaction as she bent it back, she didn’t need to see the finger move back into place. He didn’t count her down, just gave a sharp tug until they both felt the joint slip back into place.

Peggy took a shivering breath and held the hand into her chest as Steve wrapped his arms around her. “Better?” he asked.

“Marginally.”

Howard put the First Aid kit on the table, pulling out the tape and a packet of pain medicine. “Here.”

Steve took the tape and quickly and gently wrapped her pinky to her ring finger. She winced as she tried bending them, swallowing the pain tablets dry.

“So, you get anything out of her?” Howard asked, putting the kit back and trying not to look at how purple the finger had gotten.

“One word: Leviathan.” Steve gently took Peggy’s hand and held it up over her head to try to help avoid too much swelling. “She slipped. I think it’s the name of her organization.”

“Doesn’t sound Russian,” Howard replied, sliding out his own stool.

“She’s good, Howard.” Peggy looked between Steve and Howard, “She fights very well, she held out for far longer than I expected, and only made the one slip.” Peggy looked up at her hand and looked away, wincing at the color of her finger. “She’s a professional. She looked me in the eye and dislocated my finger with pleasure. If this Leviathan is who she’s working for, and Hydra is working with them, we need to be worried.”

“I wasn’t expecting a woman,” Steve remarked, only to have to defend himself at Peggy’s look. “I haven’t seen one female Hydra operative ever.”

“That’s exactly why she…” Peggy stopped, her eyes widening at the realization blooming. “That’s why.”

Howard was confused. “Why what?”

Peggy looked over in the pram at Amanda, sleeping soundly. “That’s why they’re trying to build female super soldiers. Do you know how much information I’ve gotten for looking pretty and acting stupid? Too much. Present company excluded, most men think women are stupid and useless for anything outside of the home. It’s what’s made myself, and the other female SSR spies, so very useful. A smile, a little flirting, and you wouldn’t believe the access I’d get to information.” She looked up at Steve. “If I were as strong as you are, with the ability to hide in plain sight that I get from being a woman during a war…”

Howard caught on. “Why didn’t I think of that?” he smirked salaciously, “Women super soldier spies.”

“And if you groom them from birth…” Peggy’s face went from astounded to sad as she thought of all the potential. “If you groom them from birth, you’d have extremely dangerous spies, potentially even assassins, that most people would barely know are there and would have fierce loyalties.”

~*~

* * *

As soon as she was in their room, Peggy kicked off her shoes and fell into the bed. Steve parked the pram and wedged it so it couldn’t move, Amanda still very much asleep, and set about sweeping the room for bugs.

“Don’t tell me,” Peggy mumbled, her eyes closed. “I don’t want to know.”

“All clear,” Steve supplied anyway as he put the small machine away. “Move over,” he requested, slipping off his shoes and sliding in bed next to her.

Peggy slid over, turning to let Steve enfold her in his arms once he was in bed. “Howard’s right, we need to come up with a plan.”

Steve hummed in agreement. “We’re running out of time.” He sighed, tangling his hand in her hair and massaging her scalp. “Howard said that if we want to disappear, now is the time. Ida is a good cover. She might swear up and down she did nothing but we could use her as a scape goat.”

Peggy sighed heavily; her eyes closed as the feel of Steve’s fingers on her scalp lulled her to a sense of calm. “I don’t know that I like the idea of using her. I’m sure she’s guilty of something, but not triple homicide.”

“True.”

“I don’t know that we can afford to take Mandy away from Howard.” Peggy lifted her head, waiting for Steve to look in her eyes. “If she has another growth spurt, or if she has some unknown side effect…” Peggy shook her head. “We need him.”

“We do,” Steve affirmed. “And I’m sure he’d come to wherever we end up if we ever needed him.”

“But that would put him in danger, too.” She let her head fall back to his shoulder. “That leaves us with going to the SSR.”

Steve stiffened, “We have trusted them before.”

“That was when it was just us,” she retorted. “She can’t defend herself.”

Steve kissed her head. “It still is us. And now we’re together. And we can defend her.”

“Like you said, we won’t let her out of our sight.” Peggy snuggled into his chest.

There was a long moment of quiet before Steve spoke again. “Howard brought up another good point.”

“Hum?”

Steve swallowed hard. “He asked if we still want to get married.”

Peggy’s head popped up, her voice soft. “And… what did you say?”

“I said we hadn’t talked about it.” Steve leaned back so he could see her whole face. “And we haven’t really, since that night.”

Peggy frowned, but her words were strong. “Nothing’s changed for me, Steve.”

“Me neither,” he affirmed quickly. “But I uh…” He lowered his head back, closing his eyes. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want…”

“I want you,” she said firmly, pushing up on her elbow to see his face. She waited until he opened his eyes to look at her. “I’ve found the right partner.”

He smiled. “Me, too.” He leaned forward, kissing her. “But did you still want…”

Peggy looked up at him, leaning back so she could see his face as she spoke. “Long before the war, I planned a wedding to a man I thought I wanted to marry. Every bit of it was a drudgery. I convinced myself that I wanted all these special decorations and a band and the big white dress because I needed something to be excited about.” She leaned forward, into his space, “When the chance came to join the SSR I left it all behind without a second thought. I didn’t just tell him I’d be back after the war, I left it _all_ behind, him included. I ended it because I couldn’t see anything else for myself than this new life. And I didn’t regret it, not a moment.” Peggy leaned up, kissing Steve softly. “I’d never been more sure of anything in my life, until now.” She kissed him again. “I don’t need a dress or a party or anything else except you. Tell me you’re sure.”

His hand drifted over her check, brushing her hair over her ear. “I’m sure.”

“Today.” She pressed her hand to his chest. “Marry me today.”

Before Steve could answer, Mandy let out a happy squeal from her pram. He smiled, kissing Peggy quickly before pushing away from her to stand. “I guess she agrees.”

“And you?” Peggy asked, pushing up and immediately regretting putting weight on her bad hand.

Steve smiled as he lifted the little girl into his arms. “How does right after my watch with Ida sound?”

Peggy smiled widely. “Better telephone Howard.”

~*~

* * *

Steve relieved Jarvis none too soon. While Jarvis seemed to have kept his wits, the blonde had resorted to spouting the filthiest, sexually explicit things she could think to try to bother him. Jarvis wasn’t exactly scandalized, but he did look a little shell shocked.

Steve sat in the chair as Jarvis left, looking over the woman.

“So,” she asked, her eyes drooping heavily. “What’s you’re angle?”

He didn’t move, didn’t talk, just sat with his arms crossed over his chest.

After a moment, Ida stood, coming over to the bars and wrapping her hands around them. She looked him up and down, but he didn’t move. She let her voice take on a scared, childlike timbre, “You gonna talk to me?”

He blinked at her.

“I mean, this is scary for me. Can’t you just…” She shrugged her shoulder and let her body shrink, doing a great approximation of a damsel in distress. When he didn’t respond she hit the bars, hoping to make him flinch.

He didn’t move.

“You know, you remind me of someone,” she started, pacing the few steps along the bars like a caged tiger. “I can’t quite put my finger on it. Handsome. Maybe like Clark Gable. You almost look like that Captain America guy they show in those USO films. You _are_ awful strong.” She bit her lip and fluttered her eyelashes, hoping to get him riled up, but Steve refused to move.

“Fine.” Her face morphed back to fierce stone as she moved back to her cot. She sat, leaning her head back against the wall and closed her eyes.

Steve let her sit for a minute until he could see her breathing start to even out. “Why a kid? A baby?”

Her eyes fluttered open. “What?”

“There’s bad people in the world, then there’s evil. Doing experiments on kids- that’s just evil.” He didn’t move his stare from her, his shoulders set like stone. “So why would you take a job trying to steal back a kid to people who are doing experiments on her?”

Ida chuckled. She looked at him, and his seriousness only fueled her laughter until she threw her head back and was laughing riotously. “You think I care?”

He leaned forward, letting his arms rest on his thighs as he looked at her. “I think you should.”

Her laughter died suddenly, a snarl taking over on only half painted lips, her make-up fading unevenly. “You think she’s the first little girl that they’ve experimented on?” The fury in her eyes only grew. “Why should she get any special treatment?”

Steve let her question hang in the air a moment, the implication twisting a knife in his stomach.

“Who hurt you?” Steve asked gently. “Hydra or Leviathan?”

She schooled her features again, falling behind a mask of indifference. “She was a target. A job. Nothing more.”

Steve was quiet for a moment, waiting until she closed her eyes again. “How can you sleep?”

Ida turned her head lazily, looking at him. “At the moment I can’t, but that seems to have more to do with the people who keep talking to me rather than any moral conundrum.”

~*~

* * *

Howard popped his head in the small room. “Ready?”

Steve stood, not saying a word. Howard moved in, sliding a tray with a sandwich and a glass of water on it towards the bars. “You’ve got a reprieve,” he spat the words out at Ida. “I’ll be back later. Eat, Sleep, whatever the hell you want.”

Ida leaned on the bars, her eyes harsh on Howard. “How about escape?”

Howard smiled. “I’d like to see you try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 2: Is it out of character for Ida/Dottie to slip? Absolutely…but only for the Ida/Dottie we know by the time we meet her in Agent Carter. This is a few years before we meet her there, so I’m figuring she’s still learning, still a little new, and VERY sleep deprived... and a little artistic license in there, too.


	12. A Small Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding and wedding night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the chapter you’ve all (some of you?) waited for... Salacious bits can be skipped over without any consequence for the plot if consensual, adult intimacy is not your thing. (ok, smut. If smut is not your thing. The second half of the chapter is clearly smut.)

In the end, it was a subdued affair. She didn’t change her dress, and Steve was still wearing a shirt with a drool stain on the collar. Had there been sunlight, the small viewing room with the wide windows off the main deck would have had a pretty view, but the night already obscured anything past the rails of the ship.

Ana held Mandy, the girl wholly unaware of what was going on as she tried to alternately shove her bunny in her mouth and Ana’s ear. Jarvis and Howard served as the witnesses as the Captain read perfunctorily from a small book in his hands. He was a forgettable man, with a serious face and a sharp nose that his glasses kept slipping down, constantly pausing the ceremony to push them back up over and over again so he could read the small pages.

They didn’t have rings, or flowers, but Peggy supposed none of that really mattered, anyway. She held his hand the whole time, afraid if she let go this would somehow be taken from her.

The vows were generic. Neither of them had time to write their own, and Peggy couldn’t imagine saying anything in front of anyone else that would mean more than the things they’d said to one another in private over the last few days already.

When the time came, he kissed her. It wasn’t desperate or sweet, it didn’t hold their future and it wasn’t a monumental moment. It was a kiss, warm and familiar and just like going home. When he pulled his lips away, she held him close to her, leaning her head against his and smiling.

The Captain wasn’t fazed by their affection, didn’t seem to understand or care that this moment was monumental for them, and signed a handful of papers before holding out the pen for Howard and Jarvis to sign, then finally to Steve and Peggy. He pulled the carbon pages from between the copies and handed one to Steve and one to Howard, keeping the third for himself before he wished them a tight congratulations and exited swiftly.

Steve watched the Captain go, his face falling. “Disappointed?” he asked Peggy, feeling slightly underwhelmed himself at the lack of fanfare.

Peggy caught his eyes and smiled. “Not in the least.”

“Ours was quite similar,” Ana handed Mandy back to Peggy, smiling brightly and smoothing the hair by her ear that had come undone due to Mandy’s assault with the bunny, “except we had a Chaplin and there was an air raid siren going off in the background.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Howard said lightly, hitting Steve on the shoulder in congratulations. “I hate to cut this short, but I’m on duty in the brig.”

“And I’ll be taking the morning shift,” Jarvis added, smiling. “Sleeping in can be our little wedding gift.”

Peggy opened her mouth to argue, but changed her mind and nodded. “I will gratefully accept that.”

“If you two decide you’d like some time alone,” Ana smiled knowingly, “I’m happy to watch Amanda.”

Steve smiled, resting his hand on Mandy’s back and wrapping his other arm around Peggy. “We’ll keep it in mind.” He looked down at her, content, with no intention of giving up Mandy for the night.

“Come along,” Jarvis ushered Howard and his wife out of the room, “Let’s let them be.” He turned back, “Please take your time returning to your room, as I’ll be bringing diner up directly.”

Peggy nodded as he left, knowing Ana still had their key and the Jarvises would keep it for the duration of voyage as they were already sure they’d need Mr. Jarvis to make multiple trips with all of their things in the morning once they left the boat.

It was almost awkwardly quiet, save for the small sounds Mandy was making, once the door closed on the small space.

Steve took a deep breath. “I think I thought I’d feel different.” He took her cheek in his palm, letting his thumb rub over it gently as he looked at her with all the love he could muster.

“Like what?” She asked, running her free hand over his chest.

He shrugged. “Don’t know.” He pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes fluttering closed. “But I know I’m happy, right here, right now, with you. And I never want that feeling to end.”

The moment was broken by the feel of small hands smacking against their cheeks, Mandy’s attempts at words ending in coos and spit bubbles as she smiled at them.

Steve’s eyes fluttered open as Peggy turned her head, shaking it with an amused smile on her lips at Mandy. “Impeccable timing, as always.”

~*~

* * *

In their cabin they found a bottle of Champagne waiting, along with their dinner set out on the small table, and a handwritten note of congratulations from Mr. Jarvis front and center. It was a small celebration, fitting for their small wedding.

Peggy looked over the dinner: Meatloaf, green beans, and au gratin potatoes hidden under silver dishes to keep them hot. She set the lid down as Steve puttered about, making a bottle for Mandy who was currently laying contently on the bed. Peggy let her hand drift over the bottle of Champagne, her mind a million miles away.

“I know Howard says she’s not growing anymore, but I swear she’s eating as much as I am now.” He shook the bottle and headed back over to the bed, “Speaking of, that smells good. What is it?”

“Meatloaf,” Peggy responded thoughtlessly. Her mind was back in the little room, with Steve’s forehead against hers and his confessions of love hanging in the air.

“Well, smells better than what they call meatloaf in the mess,” he continued. “Do you think you can get that bottle open? Gosh, I haven’t seen honest to goodness Champagne since—"

“I don’t want this to end, either.” The words fell from Peggy’s lips in a desperate plea. She turned, tall and strong and ready to argue her case to Steve’s confused look. “All of this. I- I don’t want to go back to trenches and death and creamed beef on toast on metal trays.” She took a deep breath and stepped forward, her voice growing softer. “I don’t want to crawl into a cold bed at night alone, checking to see that my gun is in reach, afraid to close my eyes.” She looked away, building up courage to say out loud the thing that scared her the most. She looked in his eyes, suddenly unafraid, “And I don’t want to give Amanda up. I want her with us, like this.” She looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from gathering. “Seven days ago, I was furious at Dugan for handing her to me and assuming I’d know what to do,” she looked back at Steve, a single tear making its way down her cheek, “but right now I can’t imagine walking away from her.”

Steve, stunned with the baby still eating quietly in his arms, simply nodded. “Okay.”

Peggy’s jaw dropped, filled with disbelief that his answer had been so easy after she’d struggled with how to say this to him, with even figuring out what this feeling was deep in the pit of her stomach. “Okay?”

“Okay.” He stood, Mandy still in his arms as he walked to her. He couldn’t hold her, but he bent to press his forehead to hers. “We’ve given more than our fair share. All I ever wanted to do was my fair share.” He leaned back, kissing her forehead. “We deserve to be happy, too, don’t we?”

Another tear fell from Peggy’s lashes as she laughed lightly in relief. “I think being experimented on by the US Army is maybe a little more than your fair share, Steve.”

He shrugged, a small smile on his lips. “Well, they weren’t gonna let a little guy like I was out here. You gotta do what you gotta do.” He grew serious, taking the empty bottle from Mandy’s lips and putting it down before using his now free hand to wipe the wetness away from Peggy’s cheek. His whispered words were fierce and full of emotion, “We’re gonna do what we need to do, Mrs. Rogers, to keep our family together.”

Peggy smiled brightly amidst her tears. “Call me that again.”

Steve’s lips quirked with amusement as he let his thumb gently run over her cheek. “Mrs. Rogers.” His lips found hers, the kiss gentle and light. Mandy, unhappy at being ignored, squirmed in Steve’s arms.

“Alright, my little love,” Peggy wiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands, calming herself before she took Mandy from Steve’s arms, setting her on her shoulder and patting her back with vigor. She looked up at Steve, “Champagne bottle’s all yours, my darling. I’ve never had any luck with them.”

Steve gave her a smile and a half-hearted salute before he slipped past her, unwrapping the bottle. Peggy turned, still patting Mandy on the back, a wondrous sparkle in her eyes. “I do feel different, Steve.”

He looked up, crumpling the foil in his hand. “Yeah?”

“Yes. I—” Peggy was interrupted by a loud belch from Mandy, which was accompanied by a mouthful of milk that spilled over Peggy’s shoulder and down her back. “Oh dear.”

Steve put the bottle down and brought a burp cloth over in just enough time to catch another mouth full of milk as she spit it up. “She sure does know how to interrupt a moment, huh?”

Peggy laughed as Steve scrubbed at her shoulder blade. “A true talent.” He leaned forward, kissing Mandy’s forehead and then pecking Peggy’s cheek. “Come on, dinner will get cold.”

They set Mandy in the pram, bear in one hand and bunny in the other, and ate as Peggy kept the pram moving with her foot. The meatloaf was under seasoned, and the Champagne was too dry and a little flat.

Despite the lackluster dinner, Peggy couldn’t quite stop smiling, and Steve found it endlessly amusing. She was pushing the remnants of her dinner around on her plate when she noticed that Mandy had fallen asleep. She stood, pushing the pram against the wall where it wouldn’t roll.

Steve’s hand caught her wrist as she headed back to her chair, suavely swinging her to his lap.

“That was quite the move, Mr. Rogers,” she whispered, afraid to wake Mandy.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her snug on his lap. “Just felt like you were a little far away there on the other side of the table, Mrs. Rogers.”

She looked up at the ceiling trying to hide her smile as she chided herself. “Look at me, giddy as a school girl over a new last name.” She laughed softly and looked back at him. “How will we tell who Phillips is mad at now?”

Steve chuckled, but let his hand drift up and down her thigh with a very different intent. “I suppose we’ll just have to guess.” He kissed her collarbone. “Or you can keep your name. I am pretty fond of it.”

“That will help with knowing who’s in trouble,” she muttered, threading her hand in his hair to keep his lips moving on her neck. “Plus, the paperwork for changing it will be beastly.”

He let the tip of his tongue trace up the side of her neck, kissing just below her earlobe. “Carter at work, then,” he conceited, moving his lips across her jawline to meet hers, “Mrs. Rogers at home.”

She kissed him gently, humming against his lips as his hands wandered, pulling her tight against him. “Is the door locked this time, Mr. Rogers?”

He hummed the affirmative, his lips desperate for hers again as his fingers fumbled with the hook and eye at the top of the zip on the back of her dress.

Peggy pulled away, taking his hands in hers as she stood. She stepped them away from the table and turned, sweeping her hair away so he could see the small clasp.

Steve was gentle as he undid the tiny hook, and with care took the small tab and pulled the zipper down. With soft hands he slid the fabric apart, revealing the back of her satin slip. It wasn’t new, wasn’t a surprise. He’d seen it before, as recently as yesterday. But he hadn’t undressed her like this, hadn’t been purposefully taking her clothes off to reveal what he’d imagined for so long underneath. He’d seen glimpses on missions, or out of necessity, or quick rendezvous in the woods where they’d lost their senses and had been desperate for one another. Even in this little room where touching and holding her felt so right, the feel of her skin under his fingers still felt like something he shouldn’t know. He paused, swallowing hard and stepping closer to her.

Peggy turned her head, looking back at him over her shoulder. “Steve?” Her voice was filled with concern, the hand that had been holding her hair moved to cup his cheek. He grabbed it instead, kissing it. She could feel his reluctance, and was sure that though they’d gotten fairly close many times, Steve still was that skinny boy inside who had barely talked with women, never mind taken one to bed. They’d gotten carried away in the past, gotten close- very close the other day- but getting carried away in the moment and standing here knowing exactly what was ahead of them were two very different things.

Peggy squeezed his hand and stepped away, turning and shimmying her shoulders as she pulled at her dress with her free hand. She let go of Steve’s hand and let the dress fall to her feet, stepping out of it and kicking it behind her. She took a step closer to Steve, his jaw tight and eyes watching her every move. With sure hands she started undoing the buttons of his shirt. He didn’t move, but she could feel and hear his breathing take on a different tone as it became deeper.

She pulled the shirt from his pants, hiding her smile at his sharp intake of breath as it pulled against sensitive flesh on its way up. She undid the buttons, smiling at his bare chest underneath. He turned a little red and shrugged as she pushed it down his arms. “No undershirts left.”

Peggy let her hands slide up over his shoulders, leaning up and claiming his lips with hers. She let her hands roam, trying to commit to memory what each muscle felt like without the barrier of cloth between them, what it felt like to let her nails scrape through the little hairs at the base of his neck, what his hands felt like as they gripped tight at her hips. With each breath she felt the passion rise within her, the need to have him closer, to pull him into her more acute. He was hers now, there was no question and no more waiting. Her hands slid down his chest, fumbling at his belt buckle.

He stepped back, his lips coming away from hers roughly as he reached for her hands. Quickly, he softened his motions, though the fire in his eyes was one she was familiar with. He lifted her hands over her head and she held them there as he reached for the edges of her slip. He lifted it up and over her head quickly, tossing it aside without care for where it went.

He stepped closer, keeping his eyes on hers and swallowing thickly as his hands slid down her sides. She let her hands rest on his shoulders, lip between her teeth as she felt his fingers slide under the edges of her panties. He pressed down, sliding them over her hips until they fell to the floor. Her garter belt was still in place, holding her stockings up by well-worn straps. His fingers traced the outlines of the fabric as he kissed her again, learning the soft touches that sent goosebumps over her skin and that when he grabbed her ass in his palm, she sucked a deep breath in, moaning as he pushed her against him.

She started moving again, wrapping her hands across his shoulders and pulling him towards the bed. She tried to pull them down into it when she felt it against the backs of her legs, but he stopped them from tumbling forward. He perched her on the edge, kneeling between her legs as he kissed his way down her neck. “God, Peg,” he murmured between kisses, his hands traveling over her hips and across her back. He stopped between her breasts, kissing her there before holding her close to catch his breath.

Peggy let her hands run through his hair, cradling him close. She could still feel his nerves despite his evident desire. “Steve?”

He looked up at her before pressing his forehead to her chest. She kissed the crown of his head, waiting until he was ready.

His hands held onto her hips, afraid to let her go. “I don’t want to do this wrong,” he confessed softly against her skin. He looked back into her eyes, “What if you don’t like—”

She pressed a finger to his lips. “You’ll be just fine.”

She shimmied away from him, reaching down and slipping off her shoes. With quick hands she devested herself of the rest of her clothes and slid back on the bed, naked. Steve watched every move silently from his knees at the edge of the bed, his hands fidgeting by his sides. She crooked her finger at him slowly, smiling. “Come here, soldier.”

He stood, toeing off his shoes and with only the slightest hesitance before he slid out of his pants and boxers. He crawled to her, timider than he had been the previous day when lust was driving him. She smiled, keeping her eyes on his as he settled next to her, his hand gently falling over her hip.

Peggy pushed herself closer, pressing up against his skin with hers. He felt warm from his chest to his toes, and she couldn’t stop herself from lifting her leg over his hip. His brow furrowed as he tried to keep his eyes on her and stay focused instead of giving in to the sensations he was feeling. She pressed her lips to his, knowing he’d close his eyes, knowing he needed to stop thinking. “Feel me, Steve,” she let the words drip against his mouth as she ran her hands over his back. “Stop thinking and touch me.”

The invitation was enough for him to let go, and he let the hand that was sitting on her hip slide lower, palming her ass and pulling her hips flush against his. They both moaned as he slid against her, their bodies flush and moving against one another without conscious thought. His bottom arm wound tight around her, his top hand venturing higher to let his fingers trail at her breast.

Her hips rocked against his and he moaned out loud, his head turning and burying itself against her neck as his arms wound tight around her. She used both hands to press out of his arms and push him on to his back. His grip slackened the instant he felt her pushing away, but his confusion turned to lust as she lifted her leg over his hip and hovered over him. She leaned down kissing his chest, and dragged her tongue up over his muscles, circling one nipple then the other as he squirmed underneath her. His hands went back to her hips, trying to press her warmth down to where he wanted her the most, but she resisted and smiled when she felt him give up easily.

Peggy bit her lip, looking down at the man she loved, so lost in lust and confusion yet still so aware and treating her so gently. Somewhere in the back of her mind she’d been worried that Steve might not be able to control himself: she was well aware of exactly how strong he was and exactly what his full strength could do. His hands were strong and holding her tightly, but not even tight enough to bruise. She smiled: it was just one more thing she loved about him so desperately.

She leaned down, teasing his lips by keeping hers only a few centimeters away from his, promising him touch and never quite relenting. She let her tongue slip out and taste his lips, pulling away as he leaned up after her. Finally, she let him catch her, the kiss all the sweater for the torture before it.

His hand moved from her hip to cup her face. He was so caught up in the kiss he didn’t notice her hand slowly moving down his body until she reached below her, letting her fingers caress up and down his length. He broke the kiss, throwing back his head into the pillows, a guttural moan falling from his lips as his hips bucked up against her hand. “Fuck, Peg…”

She hummed, keeping up a gentle rhythm with her hand as she bent and took his earlobe softly between her teeth, whispering, “Yes, I do think that’s the plan.”

His hand went to hers, pulling it off his length gently. “God, I won’t last long if you keep doing that.”

She smiled devilishly at him. “Who said I cared about that?” She leaned down again, nipping and kissing her way down his neck before swirling her tongue around his Adam’s apple. He pushed her away gently, and for a moment Peggy thought she’d gone too far when he jumped off the bed and starting looking for his pants. “Steve?”

He stood, bashfully holding a little silver tin in his hand. “Howard uh…” He looked at it and blushed. “Well, I mean…”

Peggy smiled, kneeling on the bed. “Maybe one baby is enough for now?”

The pants fell from his hand as he looked at her, his eyes shining. He’d tried so hard to focus before that he hadn’t let himself look at her full naked form, and there she was, kneeling and mussed on the bed, smiling at him. “God, you’re beautiful.”

Peggy’s blush was hard to hide as it moved down her chest. She wasn’t all that self-conscious, but it wasn’t every day she was sprawled on a bed naked, either. She ran a hand through her hair, smoothing it down as she tried to hide her smile. “Well, what are you going to do about that?” She tried, and succeeded, at not laughing as he fumbled the little tin and then turned his back to her while he managed to put the condom on.

She did quite enjoy the rear view, and despite Howard’s crass words, it was a very nice ass.

Her ass, now.

When Steve turned back, he didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands and kept them somewhat shyly in front of his crotch. Peggy, however, knew exactly what to do with him. She reached out, taking his hand and pulling him on the bed, tumbling backwards and cradling him between her legs.

He hovered over her, licking his lips. “Well?” she asked, letting her hands run up and down his arms, her eyes drown to his lips. Slowly he lowered himself, wrapping his arms around her and holding himself up by his forearms. She gripped his hips with her legs, pressing them to hers until they were pressed tight together, his length pushing against her slippery folds. “I won’t break, Steve.”

He moaned, dropping his head to her neck, his lips working at the flesh after he’d recovered, his hips rutting against hers. Peggy slid a hand between them, tired of waiting and desperate for the feeling of him inside her. He bucked into her hand as she wrapped her fingers around him, pressing up onto his hands to look at her.

She kept his gaze as she pressed him to her opening, she watched as his eyes fluttered shut and his mouth fell open as she guided him in with her hand and the pressure of her leg on his hips. He collapsed down on top of her, wrapping his arms tight around her and pressing up, deeper. She let her fingers rake down his back as she threw her head back against the pillows, biting her lip to keep from crying out as he moved more confidently inside of her. His movements were shallow and stilted and completely instinct as he held her, taking her close but not near enough where she wanted to go.

She found his face with her hands, pulling it up from where he’d been burying it in her chest and kissed him, hard enough break his concentration so she could use her body weight to flip them over. When she pulled away on top, their bodies still together, his eyes were sparkling with amazement and love. “Damn.” The curse slipped from his lips, his hands sliding up her sides.

She took his hands and pressed them over his head, lacing their fingers as she set a rhythm. He moaned, loudly, and she covered his lips with one of her hands, pressing sloppily to keep him quiet as she continued to move against him. He nipped at her fingertips as she started to move faster, his free hand steadying her at her rib cage, then moving higher to palm her breast. She groaned, needing more. Peggy braced herself with both hands on his shoulders as she ground into him. His hands found her hips, sliding up and over before gripping tight and pulling her down faster, harder.

“Peg, Peggy…” Her name fell from his lips in his delirium and she fell forward, claiming his lips with hers as their rhythm started to falter.

“Shhh,” she directed, biting at his bottom lip, trying to find the sweet spot between them again.

This time it was Steve’s turn to take her unaware. He slid his hands up her back, held tight, and flipped them back over. Peggy bounced on the bed underneath him, laughing a little as he hovered over her. “Liked that?” he asked, breathless.

Peggy smiled, reaching up and pulling his lips to her, circling her hips against his.

He started moving, pressing up into her with a passion and kissing her sloppily. “Don’t stop,” she murmured against his lips, sliding her hand between them and pressing her fingers where she needed them.

Steve pressed up on an elbow, forehead wrinkling and eyes looking down at the arm disappearing between them that he could feel moving, crushed between them. “Peg are you… Do I…?” He couldn’t get the sentence out, he was too focused on keeping the rhythm between them.

She grabbed his head with her free hand, pulling him back over her. “Don’t. Stop.” Her eyes blazed as she pulled him to her lips, their kisses chaotic as he redoubled his efforts. Her legs fought for purchase on his slick, narrow hips, one leg sliding down until he grasped her thigh, hiking her leg up under his arm as he breathed hot and heavy against her neck. At once she arched back, curling under him and pressing into his hips. He tried to keep moving in her, but he could feel her clenching around him in a sensation that was at once foreign and more familiar than anything he could imagine.

He pressed his lips to her shoulder, the tension coiling in the base of his spine as she undulated under and around him, unable to hold himself back anymore. Peggy clutched at his shoulders, bring her other hand up to hold him to her as his hips jerked against hers, her body tired and sensitive after her release, his still falling apart spectacularly.

The room was silent except for their rough, haggard breathing. Steve pressed up on his hands, dragging his lips across her chest as he tried to figure out how to use his limbs again. Peggy hummed underneath him, her hands moving to cup his face and kiss him softly. His lips chased after hers as she pulled away, sliding out from underneath him. Steve flipped on his back, looking at her as she caught her breath next to him.

Peggy turned to him, eyes bright and lips brilliant in a swollen smile from their kisses. “Well?” she asked, her chest still heaving.

He reached out, hand flopping for hers before he found it, clumsily twining their fingers together and lifting it to hold over his heart. “That’s…” He looked up at the ceiling, his eyes closing and a goofy smile plastered on his face. “Yeah.”


	13. Disembarked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their time on the ship comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features another adult dalliance. You can skip the second section without losing much plot.

Peggy let her hand wander his bare chest, making small, unknowable patterns over the muscles she could trace by memory now. She couldn’t sleep, and no number of stories from Steve’s lips would lull her tonight. Steve was likewise awake, his hand running up and down her arm as he held her close.

“Should we even pretend we’re sleeping?” His whisper cut through the quiet.

“We should try,” Peggy sighed, not moving. She was, at the least, comfortable in his arms as was loathe to let that go. “And resting is better than nothing.” She felt him nod under her, and could barely see his other hand moving out to brush against the bassinet they’d moved back into the bed for the night. “Go over it again.”

His voice deepened, more Captain than Steve as he took a deep breath and started to review their plans. “The alarm is set to go off at oh-five-hundred. We wake up, pack our suitcases, then meet Howard for breakfast…”

~*~

* * *

Peggy had shifted, tossing and turning as she tried to stop imagining the worst for tomorrow. To go from the bliss of today to the fear of what came next had her tied in knots, fearful in a way she couldn’t remember ever being.

She was floating somewhere between half-asleep and half-daydreaming when she felt Steve’s hand on her hip, sliding up under her nightgown purposefully.

Her hand met his and encouraged it up, letting him take her breast in his hand, kneading it as he pressed his length against her. She could feel his desperation in the hot breath against her neck, in the way he pressed his body against hers. She felt it, too, felt the need to be with him, on him, to have him in her and try to find a way to bind them so that no one could pull them apart.

She let her hand leave his, finding his hip and squeezing, palming his ass through his shorts before clumsily slipping under the elastic and curling around the length of him. He pressed his mouth into her shoulder, trying desperately to stay quiet as she let her hand run up and down over him. His bottom arm found hers, pinned under her pillow, and threaded their fingers together. His top hand became brave as he kissed her shoulder, venturing lower to the place he had yet to explore. His fingers slipped in her panties, played over her damp curls before venturing lower, finding her slick folds and sliding along them.

Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers found her most sensitive place. He was a quick study, and let them pass over it again and again, paying attention to how she moved against him, how her breath changed as he touched her.

Carelessly she pulled her hand from his length, scrambling to try to shove his boxers down with one hand. “I need…” she started, her voice lost in the feel of his fingers.

“I know,” he replied, “me too.” He moved his hand away, grasping at the edge of her panties and sliding them down to the tops of her thighs.

Steve started to roll but Peggy stopped him, pushing out her hips and grabbing him, guiding him to her wetness from behind. She shifted her hand, holding his ass and pulling his hips tight to her. His hand found its way up her body again, holding on to her chest as he started moving his hips.

She could feel his teeth in her shoulder as he tried to stay silent, she turned and bit her pillow at the feel of him rocking within her, no barriers, nothing but his hot flesh sliding against her and his hand grasping at her breast.

She didn’t care. She didn’t want to care. All she wanted was the feeling of Steve behind her, in her, and around her. She didn’t want to think about tomorrow, didn’t want to think about the likelihood of her illusion of happiness falling to pieces, didn’t want to think about another night in a cold, damp tent when she’d found this bliss.

He was a quick study, and had a fabulous memory. When she started to pant, he let his hand slide low again, mimicking the movements he’d only learned moments before to make her see stars behind her eyes. She bucked into his hand and arched back further, her release taking her like crashing waves this time instead of the blinding explosion of the last. Steve jerked into her a half dozen more times, his orgasm taking him less by surprise as he buried his nose in her hair and fought to stay quiet.

She rolled and held him close as she caught her breath, wondering when they’d get to hold one another again.

~*~

* * *

Breakfast was a sobering affair, the three of them tense as they neared land. “So, uh, you get any sleep last night?” Howard attempted, but couldn’t quite make it sound as funny or as lewd as he wanted.

Peggy smirked a bit. “Don’t be asinine.” She pushed around the food on her plate. “You didn’t sleep for the same reason we didn’t.”

“Yeah,” he sat back pushing his plate away. “You guys still want to go through with this?”

Steve shook his head. “Do we want to? No. But you know as well as we do it’s our best option.”

“And you’re still good with the plan?” Howard asked, lifting his coffee mug into his hands.

“Play it close to the vest,” Steve replied quickly. “The less anyone knows, the better.”

Howard sipped his coffee, his bouncing knee visible in the way the tablecloth moved. “You know they’re not going to just let you walk out of there with her, right? This is gonna get messy.”

Peggy leaned forward, putting her fork down. “We know. We go in, see what they know, see what they want. Then we can bargain.”

“What, like she’s a car?” Howard laughed, matching Peggy’s stance. “I’m in your corner here but—”

“We need more people in our corner.” Peggy reached out and took Howard’s hand. “We need you, and the Jarvises, and Phillips, and anyone we can get. We need to know what we’re up against, then we need to figure out how to fight it.”

Howard squeezed her hand tight. “Knowing you, Peg, you’ll hit it with a stapler.”

Peggy sat back, a smile fighting to take over her face. “Really, Howard, that was one time.”

“And I think I still have a bruise there.”

~*~

* * *

Peggy packed the small satchel they’d borrowed from Howard full of as many diapers and cloths as she could, a few premade bottles and a few empty ones, the larger dresses Ana made them, and the bear and bunny Ana had knit. Peggy wasn’t sure what Mr. Jarvis’s plan for the rest of their luggage was, even though she and Steve had packed it before breakfast this morning, but they had to carry whatever Mandy was going to need with them.

She checked her thigh holster one more time, making sure it was tight.

Steve carefully pulled her hands from her leg, standing her up. “Breathe, Peg.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out and looking up at him. “Aren’t you worried?”

He nodded, letting his hands move up to her shoulders. “Yeah. But I have you.”

She laughed shaking her head. “Can you please stop being so endearingly perfect right now?”

He shook his head. “Part of the package, I’m afraid.”

She framed his jaw with her hands, smiling up. “What happened to that skinny little man who couldn’t talk to women?” Before he could answer she pecked a kiss to his lips. “I could very much use Captain Rogers right now, if he’s available. Peggy is a shaking mess of nerves but Agent Carter could use a game plan.”

Steve laughed, kissing her gently again before stepping away and saluting. “Captain Rogers reporting for duty, ma’am.”

She clicked her tongue behind her teeth. “Cheeky.” She sighed, stepping forward into his space where he hugged her tightly immediately.

~*~

* * *

Peggy held Amanda as they left the boat, Steve walking in front of her and Howard behind, flanking her tightly as they stepped from the ramp right into the car. Mandy didn’t quite understand what was going on, but she’d picked up on how tense they all were and she squirmed in Peggy’s arms in frustration.

It was a short, quiet drive to the SSR research station. The outside was a plain brick building, disguised as a chemical company. Mr. Jarvis stopped the car just ahead of the double doors, the doorman far more serious than any for-hire security guard they should have seen at a chemical plant.

Steve stepped out first and immediately put his hands in the car, taking Mandy into his secure embrace. They’d decided Steve should hold her: it was much less likely anyone would try to take her form his arms, and even less likely they’d succeed if they tried. Peggy and Howard flanked him, stepping up to the doorman.

“Sunny today, isn’t it?” he asked, despite the fact that it was grey and overcast.

“Yeah, but storms are never far from the forecast.” Howard answered smartly. The guard nodded and slid his card in the lock, opening the door to them.

The inside was plain: grey walls and empty halls. One woman sat at a reception desk, and smiled as the door closed behind them. “Down the hall, third door to the right.”

They moved forward quietly. Peggy couldn’t help but think this was both the best and worst case scenario: there was no one there at the door to rip her from their arms, but the empty reception almost seemed more sinister.

Howard stepped forward, rapping a quick knock before opening the door to reveal small office with two men waiting for them.

“Mr. Stark, Captain, Agent.” The man who was sitting behind the desk stood. “I’m Chief Roger Dooley. This is Vernon Masters from the War Department.”

Howard shook everyone’s hands, Steve and Peggy stood at parade rest, nodding in respect. Mandy squirmed in Steve’s arms. She turned away from the new people and buried her head in his neck, chewing on his collar. “We’re a bit in the dark,” Howard started cautiously, “We’ve had no contact since we left port in England.”

Vernon sat on the edge of the desk. “Well, I can tell you we thought we had the decoding wrong when we read Captain America was bringing us a baby.” He shrugged. “Seems I owe someone in our coding department their job back.” His joke fell flat, but he continued. “Mission report, Agent Carter?”

Peggy tried not to flinch at that, the man was anything but warm. “Captain Rogers and I are escorting her under orders from Colonel Phillips,” she supplied as little as possible. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

Dooley sat back in his chair, tenting his fingertips together. “Yeah, well why don’t you fill us in on a little more, Agent?”

Peggy didn’t glance at Steve, she already knew how to run this. “Perhaps if you told us what you know, we’d be better able to fill in the blanks.”

Masters didn’t speak, he just held Peggy’s gaze, daring her to break.

She wouldn’t.

Dooley looked at them all, considered his options, and finally relented to Vernon’s dismay. “We didn’t take the baby part very seriously, but we were advised you were bringing an asset that needed to be protected. Potentially studied.”

Howard looked at the man with steel in his eyes. “It’s a baby. She doesn’t need to be studied.”

“If she came from a Hydra lab she does,” Vernon countered, folding his hands in his lap. “They may have abandoned her in that facility, but three attempts to either get her back or kill her since you took custody means she means she’s something to them. We need to know what.” Vernon spoke matter-of-factly, his face trying and failing for the kind of sincerity that politicians were adept at. Dooley, for his part, was unable to hide his surprise as the man talked.

“Three?” Dooley asked.

“We can confirm that, Sir. Three attempts.” Steve said, his voice more the persona of Captain America than the doting husband and father he’d been for the last week.

Vernon clapped his hands happily. “Then we’re in agreement.”

“We’re in no such thing,” Howard spoke up, stepping forward. As a civilian he was in a much better position to bargain and talk back than Steve and Peggy were, and they had planned for that. “Hydra may have wanted her, but if we start studying babies, we’re no better than them.”

“Mr. Stark,” Vernon’s sympathetic tone was still condescending, “you know as well as I do that there are ethical ways to study children. In fact, we’d know almost nothing about them if we didn’t!”

“Which is why I’m asking to be made head of this,” Howard crossed his arms. “I’m your leading expert on Hydra tech and research. I was lead on Project Rebirth. I’m the only one qualified.”

Dooley shook his head, “Why don’t you think a little higher of yourself, Stark.”

Vernon stepped forward, steel in his eyes. “We’re taking her, Stark. You can petition all you want. She’s staying here tonight.”

“Then so am I,” Steve’s voice was strong, and surprised Vernon enough that his jaw dropped as he looked at him. “Agent Carter and I have been assigned to transport and protect her, sir, and that hasn’t changed.”

Vernon let the slippery charm he’d been trying to use exude again, stepping over and patting Steve on the shoulder. It didn’t escape any of their notice that his eyes raked over the small baby with the hunger of a predator. “I admire your sense of duty, son, but you’ve got bigger things to do, don’t you think?”

Steve locked eyes with the man, not backing down. “I have my orders, sir.”

Vernon stepped back, his lips pressing to a fine line. “Then I relieve you of those orders.”

Steve managed to make himself seem taller and more foreboding, even as Mandy chewed on the knit bear in her hands, drooling over her fingers. “With all due respect sir,” and Steve’s tone was clearly showing the man was due none, “You’re not within my chain of command and you can’t change my orders. We all stay, or none of us do.”

Dooley stood, stepping between the men as he could feel tensions rising. “Why don’t I just take the baby and—”

Steve stepped back, out of the man’s reach. “I think I’ve been clear.”

Dooley threw up his hands, backing away. “We’ve got personnel ready to examine her, you might as well go with them.” He lifted his phone and asked his receptionist to join them. “In the meantime,” he eyed Stark, “we’ll get the rest of this straightened out.”

It was seconds before a kindly looking woman in glassed entered, smiling when she saw the baby. “Rose,” Dooley started, sitting back in his chair heavily, “Bring Captain Rogers and Agent Carter to Doctor Wright.”

Rose nodded, smiling at Peggy and Steve. “Right this way, please.”

She held the door open as they stepped through, swiftly closing it behind them when she heard Dooley begin to angrily question Stark.

Rose smiled and stepped in front of them, tipping her head. “This way.” She kept a quick pace until they were out of the hallway and could no longer hear Dooley’s tone. “Is the baby yours?” she asked innocently.

Peggy and Steve looked at one another, unsure of what to say. Peggy cleared her throat. “It’s… complicated.”

Rose huffed out a laugh. “It’s wartime, everything’s complicated.” She turned back, smiling. “She’s adorable. What’s her name?”

“Amanda,” Steve supplied, somewhat calmer at the woman’s demeaner, though he was tense after the confrontation in the office.

“That’s lovely!” Rose brought them to an elevator and pressed the button, taking advantage of the time they had to wait to get closer to her. “Hello, Amanda.”

Mandy buried her head in Steve’s chest, whimpering. He let his hand brush over her head protectively. “I’m afraid she’s not much used to strangers.”

“It’s alright, I’m sure this is very scary for her.” The elevator arrived and Rose let them get in before she joined them and hit the button for the third floor.

“What do you do here, Rose?” Peggy couldn’t quite get a handle on the friendly woman.

“Oh, mostly reception. Some typing. Some dictation. Lots of filing.” She stepped off when they arrived, waiting until they were off before turning and moving through the halls again. “We’re a bit short staffed with most everyone over on the front, so it’s a little of everything and anything.”

Before Peggy could ask another question, Rose stopped outside a set of double doors. “Dr. Wright is expecting you. Either he or one of the nurses will be out shortly. You can wait on the benches here.” Rose gestured to the small sitting area by the window. She could sense the tension and smiled. “It’s above my pay grade to know what’s going on, I’m sure, but if you need anything you can find me in the steno pool on the first floor.”

Peggy watched her go, unsure of how to feel. She was close enough that she could whisper to Steve, confident that even if they were being listened to anyone couldn’t make out much. “How much do you think they know?”

Steve bounced Mandy, she was getting fussy and tired and her whimpers hid their conversation. “Masters knows more than Dooley, that’s clear.”

Peggy pulled the satchel off her shoulder and put it on Steve’s, digging through and pulling out a premade bottle. “How did he know about Ida already?”

Steve shrugged as he readjusted Mandy, “Who knows. Howard said he didn’t plan on telling anyone about her until after we knew what they wanted.”

“Maybe he wasn’t talking about Ida,” Peggy passed Steve the bottle then crossed her arms over her chest, pacing. They were quiet for long moments as Steve finally got Mandy to take the bottle, Peggy stopping to pick up the small animal she’d tossed on the floor and set it back in her hands. She looked up at Steve, heart heavy. “Maybe there was another attempt on the base after we left.”

Mandy gulped the formula quickly, her hand reaching out towards Peggy. Peggy reached out, too, letting the girl curl her hand around her finger. “I don’t like the way he looked at her,” Peggy mumbled.

Steve shook his head, handing Peggy the empty bottle and shifting her to his shoulder to burp. “I don’t like anything about him.”

The door across from them opened and an older woman stepped out, her grey hair tucked back neatly in a bun under her nurse’s cap. “Follow me, please.”

Peggy tucked the empty bottle in the satchel, pulling her finger from Mandy’s hand. They silently moved through another hallway where the decor moved from simply minimalist to clinical and hospital-like. Even the smell of the air changed.

The nurse stopped them at a set of gleaming double doors. “I’m afraid I’ll be taking the baby from here.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have my orders.” Steve held her protectively. “She doesn’t leave my sight.”

She looked him up and down, and Peggy thought for a moment she was going to argue, but she didn’t. “Very well then.”

Steve looked back at Peggy, their eyes locking for a moment as they both acknowledged they’d known this moment was coming all along, and without another word left her behind, following the nurse through the double doors and down the hall.

Peggy looked around, feeling helpless as the sound of Steve’s footfalls disappeared. With nothing left to do, she walked back to the small sitting area where Rose had left them and sat heavily, waiting for something, anything, to happen. 


	14. She'll Be Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’ll be fine,” he replied tightly, bouncing to try to calm her. “She’ll be okay.”
> 
> Peggy ran her hand over Mandy’s downy head, smoothing her hair. “But she’s not ok now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a shorter chapter. This didn’t feel right as part of the last chapter or the next, so consider it a little bridge to the next section. I’m still struggling with the time gap coming up, so I can’t speed things up. We’re moving into the black hole of unwritten things between here and the Epilogue that’s already written. I hope to keep up with updates as I’m able.

Peggy sat tall when she heard the ding of the elevator stopping on her floor. She hadn’t moved in what felt like hours, her eyes going to the small windows on the doors at any hint of sound from behind them. Rose stepped out of the elevator, smiling at Peggy as she gestured another visitor towards her. Howard nodded in thanks as he came through and headed directly for Peggy.

Howard pointed his finger at her, his eyes blazing. “It was a hell of a fight, but I managed it.” Peggy stood, hands wringing together as Howard came to her. “I was able to argue that taking you away from her would cause mental and emotional stress to the child and skew our results.”

She didn’t realize she was holding her breath. “And?”

“And they’re gonna set you all up here for the time being.” He gestured towards the chairs, letting her sit before he sat next to her and sighed. “Jarvis and Ana are out right now, getting Mandy some new dresses and you and Steve some more clothes and essentials. I’ll have your suitcases here real soon.”

She dropped her voice. “What’s happened to Ida?”

He shrugged, whispering. “She was not the third attack that Masters was talking about. Apparently, someone hit the guy that brought you to the airport right after he dropped you off.” He stopped, his eyes far away, “Hell, it actually could have been Ida for all we know. They didn’t give me details.” He sat back. “I gave her up after they gave on letting you stay. She’s still staying quiet. We’re going to transfer her from the boat right to Lehigh.”

Peggy nodded her head. After a moment of quiet she continued. “Any news of the front? Has Hydra tried to raid the base again since we left?”

Howard shook his head. “Haven’t had a chance to look yet.”

The double doors at the end of the hall opened, revealing the nurse from earlier. “Agent Carter?”

They both stood, Howard looking somewhat sad. “I’ll keep you updated.”

She reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly. “I know you will.”

Peggy turned to leave but he stopped her, pulling her back and stepping close. “Peg- I know we talked about this but…” He took a deep breath, his voice low, “How far do you want me to go?” He searched her eyes. “They’re already pushing back so- how far do you really want me to go with this?”

Peggy squeezed his hand tight, a sad smile on her lips. “As far as you need to.”

~*~

* * *

Peggy shivered when the door closed behind her to the hospital observation room. The walls and linens were white and everything else was gleaming silver. Next to her there was a giant mirror, two-way, she assumed, that took up most of the wall. There were two small cots that looked more military surplus than hospital general issue, a metal crib, and a metal medical table in the corner. Off to the side there was a small door, and behind it a perfunctory bathroom.

It was barely bigger than their cabin on the boat, but far more foreboding. She walked the length of the room, her heels clicking on the tile floor. The sound echoed in the space, making her feel far lonelier than she had over the last week. She paced the room like a caged tiger, slowly wiggling her right hand, trying to get movement back into her sore pinky that was still taped to her ring finger.

She heard them first. It made her stop dead and turn to the door. Mandy’s cries echoed through the corridor, full-fledged wails gaining volume as they came closer. The nurse opened the door, letting Steve and Mandy step in before she closed it quickly behind, the sound of a lock turning echoing under the baby’s cries.

“What happened?” Peggy was by Steve’s side in a moment, searching his face and the baby’s for answers.

“She’ll be fine,” he replied tightly, bouncing to try to calm her. “She’ll be okay.”

Peggy ran her hand over Mandy’s downy head, smoothing her hair. “But she’s not ok now?”

He looked at her and shook his head, no words coming from his lips as he turned and eyed the large mirror on the wall by the door.

Steve passed her to Peggy, stepping away as she cradled the crying girl close. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath, trying to put himself back together, as well. “They said they’d bring a bottle. They took the bag with her stuff.”

“All of it?” Peggy asked, rubbing her hand over Mandy’s back as she started to calm.

Steve sat heavily on one of the cots, the metal squeaking under him. He set his elbows on his thighs, head hanging low. “All of it.”

Peggy lapped the room, murmuring words of safety she wasn’t sure she believed to Mandy as she moved from half-hearted cries to soft murmurs and hiccups. Finally, she calmed, exhausted, and her eyes started to close. Peggy took the chance and sat next to Steve and Mandy didn’t have the strength to start crying again at the change in position. She grabbed a fist full of Peggy’s hair and snuggled deeper into her arms. “Tell me,” she whispered to Steve.

“It was clinical,” he said blankly. “Not much different than what Howard had done, but… harsher, somehow. They measured her, weighed her,” he winced, “drew more blood.” He let his head come up, the fight falling from his shoulders. “As soon as she saw them, Peg, she started crying. As soon as she saw that clinical room with the needles and the silver surfaces and the bright lights and the masks over their faces she started to cry.”

“She knew,” Peggy murmured, thinking back to the hard steel tables of the Hydra base.

He nodded, reaching out a hand and smoothing it over the soft hairs on her tiny head. “She knew.” 

~*~

* * *

The nurse arrived with a bottle and with Howard trailing right behind, his hands full of suitcases. Steve helped Howard as Peggy took the bottle, shooting the nurse a frosty look when she asked if Peggy knew how to feed the girl.

“They said they’d put you up, not keep you hostage,” Howard bit out, turning to face the two-way mirror and the people he assumed were behind it. “We’re gonna have words about this.”

“Thanks for bringing all this,” Steve set the suitcases on the steel side table, opening them and finding clothes for all of them, diapers, cloths, and toiletries. He started pulling things out and stacking them, knowing they’d at least need the diapers sooner rather than later.

“Yeah, well,” Howard was still scowling, “I wouldn’t need to worry if these people were reasonable.” He turned to Steve and lowered his voice. “There are actual rooms upstairs. Why they won’t put you in one of those I’ll be finding out soon.” Howard paced the room, face getting tighter as he heard the echo of his shoes, the rattle of the ventilation. “This is no place for you,” he murmured.

“Any news?” Peggy tried to change his focus. If he kept going, she knew her own ire at their accommodations would start to rise again, and she wanted to stay as calm as she could for Amanda.

Howard faced her, his jaw working for a second before his brain caught up with her questions. “Yeah, things are good, actually. They’ve relocated the camp and the boys are following a few leads, but the Commandos are still hitting Hydra strongholds.”

“That’s good,” Steve joined them, arms across his chest as if he were in a briefing, thinking through the strategies. “Have they found anything about…” He stopped talking, letting Howard and Peggy fill in the word that only they knew: Leviathan.

Howard shook his head. “No word on that yet.”

Peggy kept swaying, Mandy’s small hands smacking on the sides of the bottle. “And the rest of the front?”

Howard smiled. “Nothing definitive, but it’s looking good.” Howard sighed, stepping forward with his voice quiet, “I’m hoping I can convince them to keep you on this side of the Atlantic. Work as strategists or something. Maybe just get Steve a few more USO tours.”

Steve and Peggy locked eyes. It wasn’t much, but it was a small spark of hope. Howard could feel the air grow just a little lighter, and he was glad for it. “In the meantime…” He turned back to the two-way mirror, “Can you get these people some dinner? And how about another pillow? They’re heroes, for God sakes, and you’re treating them like war criminals.”

~*~

* * *

Howard left shortly after two trays of army rations were delivered along with another bottle, and returned an hour later with Mandy’s bassinet and a little pink hastily-knitted pig curtesy of Ana Jarvis. He was escorted quickly out to another slip of the lock.

The lights had only two settings: on and off. There were no windows and therefore no way to tell as the day passed under the fluorescent lights. They fell into a quiet routine, taking turns walking Mandy around the room as she was still restless and uncomfortable. Steve and Peggy swept the room multiple times: no visible bugs, though that didn’t matter much. With the two-way mirror they knew they were being watched. There was no other way out and nothing but the few supplies Howard had brought. It was nearly 2 AM by the time Peggy looked at her watch and realized not only were they probably going to be left alone for the night, they’d need to find some way to sleep if they were going to stay sharp for whatever was coming.

Without any windows, when the lights were off it was pitch black and neither of them could maneuver. With the lights on, none of them, save Mandy, could sleep under the harshness. The bathroom light was stark in the darkness and didn’t function as they nightlight they’d hoped, but rather shot a beam of light straight to where the cots were. Steve and Peggy, not caring about what anyone behind the mirror thought of anything they did, rearranged the room, pushing the cold crib off to the side and using it to hang the diapers they’d hand-washed to dry. They slid the two cots together and away from the beam of light that came from the bathroom, even when the door was only cracked.

Peggy couldn’t say it out loud, but it almost reminded her of the little haven that had been their room on the ship.

Except this was much, much more unwelcoming.

Peggy looked at Steve, and without a word, they decided they wouldn’t get too comfortable for bed tonight. It felt like they were back in the field on some twisted mission, leaving their boots at the ready. Steve took off his belt and shoes, and Peggy left her dress on, though she tucked her heels next to Steve’s under the bed. The cots weren’t much, and the thin mattresses wouldn’t stay tucked together in the middle, so Steve tucked Peggy against the wall, hefted Mandy’s bassinet over the small gap between the mattresses, and turned out the lights. Under the cover of the blackness they slipped their holsters off, hiding their guns under their pillows. He slipped onto the outer cot, reaching over the basket to grab Peggy’s hand, just like the first night they’d slept on the boat.

Mandy was the only one who slept, as Steve and Peggy stayed up all night, listening to the loud sounds around them in the unfamiliar territory, silently squeezing their hands to let the other know they were there, and vigilant in the protection of their small reality.


	15. Prisoners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day two in the Observation room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter chapter. I have to go with chapter breaks as they make sense. Plus, I’m still working on filling in some holes and making sure the plot makes sense. Minor mentions of non-invasive medical procedures for anyone who wants to be wary of that sort of thing.

The night was uneventful. Minutes ticked by, marked only by Mandy’s waking after a few hours. They would have fed her, but there was nothing to give. Steve resorted to pacing the length of the small room with her as she cried and whimpered, moving in and out of the column of light from the bathroom as Peggy watched on, humming under his breath until the baby fell back asleep.

By morning, Mandy was screaming with hunger again, and Peggy threatened to break the two-way mirror and get more formula herself by the time a new nurse showed up with another bottle.

Peggy sat on the edge of the cot, feeding Mandy as she sucked greedily at the bottle. Her face was drawn, tired, and spoiling for a fight. Steve was in the small bathroom, washing up as quickly as he could.

While things weren’t as outright evil as she would have felt should she have been in a Hydra lab, she still felt like a prisoner, still felt caged and mistreated. She could feel the unease coming off of Steve in waves last night. They felt like prisoners because they were being treated like prisoners, and it all sat wrong with her.

So very, very wrong.

Steve was showered and dressed as quickly as if he were in camp and the water was bitter cold. He was toweling his hair off as he moved over to her. “You want a turn? Hot water isn’t all that hot, but it’s something.”

She clenched her jaw, watching as the formula dwindled in the bottle. “No, not just now. Maybe before bed tonight.”

Steve sat, letting his side rest against hers under the guise of leaning over to look at the baby. Playing things close to the vest meant none of the contact they’d become so adept at and so comfortable with over the last week: no casual touches, no soft kisses, no hand holding or leaning against one another. Steve hadn’t realized how touch-starved he was, and how easily Peggy filled that need in him, until he’d been free to touch her whenever he wanted.

It was torture to be with her and be unable to hold her, to wrap her in his arms and try to comfort her. Even the brief contact of leaning against her sent jolts through him, making him desperate to wrap his arms around her.   
  


Amanda chugged the last bits of formula from the bottle, her mouth pulling at the nipple and getting only air. When nothing more was forthcoming, the baby spit the rubber nipple out, whimpering sadly.

“She’s so hungry,” Peggy muttered, barely loud enough for Steve to hear. “I know, love, I know,” she whispered to her, holding her up against her shoulder as she tried to burp her.

“She’s used to eating whenever she wants,” he said to no one, taking the bottle from her hand and using it as an excuse to walk away from the pitiful whimpers. He rinsed it in the small sink and set it out to dry, stopping at the metal crib where they’d hung her drying diaper cloths. He flipped them to help them dry evenly, knowing Peggy’s eyes were on his back, knowing more eyes were on them through the mirror.

The latch to the door clicked. Peggy stood reflexively and Steve stepped forward, at the ready as the door opened. The nurse from that morning, young and with a flat affect, set a tray with two bowls and two mugs on the floor. She looked over at them, her face unchanging. “I’ll be collecting you in an hour for the morning. Doctor Wright says only one of you can come.”

She left with as little fanfare as she came, the lock sliding home behind her.

Steve let out a breath, his shoulders sagging. Peggy started to pace, walking past him and rubbing the whimpering baby’s back.

“I’ll ask for more formula,” he said, knowing it meant little. They were listening. They knew she needed more.

“Do,” Peggy clipped out, her body looking for all the world like she was trying to curl around the baby, to pull her into her own body. “You should eat,” she tilted her head to the tray on the floor. “I can eat while you’re gone.”

~*~

* * *

In theory, Doctor Wright was not a bad man. He had a pleasant manner, was even bordering on kind when he greeted Steve both yesterday and today.

He explained each procedure before he did it, though he was sharp and perfunctory with his word choice.

His hands were gentle, if insistent, as he moved Mandy.

His nurses were also calm, which was a plus given Mandy had once again started wailing as soon as she saw the face masks and bright lights.

Today’s tests seemed longer, though Steve couldn’t tell as again there was no clock, no windows, nothing to help him count the time as it stretched on and her cries ebbed and flowed between whimpers and screams.

There was no blood draw today, but there were X-rays. Every conceivable position they set her in, and as much as they asked him to step out of the way when they took the X-Ray, Steve never did more than move his hand away for a second. He hated her not having him close through all of this.

He hated her having to associate him with all of this.

They pulled out a reflex hammer and soft cotton and rough sponges and tried to test her sense of touch, but she pulled away from their reaching hands and curled into Steve, no matter what they touched her skin with.

Lights were next. She cried, eyes squeezed shut to it all and twisting to try to burrow into Steve’s arms instead of being turned toward the flashing lights of all different colors that were somehow supposed to tell these men something about how well she could see. He didn’t understand the test and saw no point to it other than to torture him.

Sounds, likewise, made little impact in the small booth with the unsettling clicks and beeps coming from all directions and at all volume levels. She was whimpering, and curling herself in on his arms as best she could.

His heart was breaking.

~*~

* * *

Staying behind may have been worse than being there.

Peggy was sure Steve would have argued with her on that, but with literally nothing to be done in the small observation room and nothing to occupy her time, she could only imagine the worst.

She folded and refolded diapers and burp cloths and their clothes. She did push-ups and sit ups and pretended she had a skipping rope before laying on the cold, hard floor and stretching.

She laid on the harsh tile and closed her eyes and tried to imagine the feeling of the boat rocking under her. When she hadn’t been throwing up, it had almost been a comforting feeling, rocking her to sleep most nights. Even more comforting had been the feel of Steve next to her, the warmth he radiated, the feel of his skin, the soft puffs of hot breath on her neck as he slept.

There was nothing comforting about where she was now.

With her eyes closed, the fears took over. All she could see was her little girl screaming, Steve screaming, unable to help her, the two of them tied down, tied up, broken and hurting and her helpless to do anything about it.

She hated staying behind.

~*~

* * *

He returned, as irritated as he had been the day before, but this time with a bottle that Mandy was attempting to hold with her own hands. Peggy was on her feet immediately. “Well?”

He shook his head, looking around the little room. Carefully he handed Mandy off to Peggy before walking past her and wordlessly shutting himself in the bathroom.

Peggy sighed, rocking the girl gently. “Shit.”

~*~

* * *

Their only timepiece was Peggy’s watch, and she desperately avoided looking at it. She couldn’t quite tell what made the minutes tick by slow or fast, but just after lunch stretched on for what felt like years and just after dinner moved past in the blink of an eye.

Maybe it was listening to Steve talk. He kept up telling Mandy stories with ease, bouncing from Grimm’s tale to comic book story seemingly without having to think too hard.

When Amanda slept, they were silent. They moved around one another with the ease they nurtured through a war. The silence was deafening at moments, and other times comforting. The mirror was ever-present, watching them as surely as if a man was sitting in the corner and taking notes. She longed to hold his hand. To sit close. To kiss him and feel any of the new normal they’d established.

They kept the room between them, sticking to the edges to avoid reaching out for one another, and it felt so unnatural she wanted to cry.

She finally gave in, checking her watch. It was after 8, late enough that she thought they wouldn’t be bothered for the night. With a sigh she picked up Mandy, moving her to the metal table they’d turned into a makeshift changing station.

Steve looked up from where he was playing with the small knit pig in his hands. “What are you doing?”

“I could use a shower, and I figured I’d take her with me.” Peggy didn’t lift her head from where she was smiling down at the baby, undressing her. “She hasn’t had a bath since we got her,” her voice took a down turn. “About time, don’t you think?”

Steve hummed in agreement, standing and moving next to her. Peggy handed him the naked baby as she bent down, rummaging through the suitcase on the floor and pulling out new clothes for her to wear. She let her hand skim over the satin nightgown, but left it where it was.

She tipped her head and Steve followed behind until he was at the bathroom door. “I’d ask you to join, but…” she let her whisper hang in the air, unfinished. _But then they’d know. But I couldn’t keep my hands off you. But I’d finally fall apart. But then no one could protect us if they tried something._

He nodded, a little half smile on his face. “You gonna be ok in there? She’s been getting squirmy before bed.”

She smiled back, her eyes sparkling just a bit as she bent to lay a towel on the floor. She picked Mandy from his hands and laid her on the towel. As she came back up she played with her top button, fully hidden from the ever-present mirror by Steve and the door. “If I run into trouble, I’ll yell.”

He swallowed thickly, his eyes filling with lust as she closed the door slowly. “I’ll be right here.”

~*~

* * *

In retrospect, it had been a horrible idea.

He’d been right: she was impossible to hold on to and do absolutely anything useful at the same time. Peggy ended up sitting on the floor of the small shower, trying to soap them both up and failing miserably.

She’d felt absolutely horrible when she’d realized somehow, they’d never managed to fully bathe her in over a week. They’d cleaned her, quite thoroughly a few times after she’d blown out diapers, but never soaked her, let her play in the water, or soaped her down.

Peggy’s ultimate goal, though, had been to raise both their spirits. Mandy seemed to be enjoying it thoroughly: she enjoyed the warm water splashing and cooed and screeched as Peggy massaged the soap in her scalp and in between her toes. Mandy was clean, but Peggy wasn’t sure she’d managed to get herself completely clean by the time the water started to run cool. She quickly, and carefully as she was far more slippery than she expected, set Mandy on the dry towel on the floor and soaped up and showered herself off as the water ran absolutely cold. It had been far less fun for her, but they were both clean, and that had been at least one of the aims.

She wrapped herself in a towel and knocked on the door. “Steve?”

“Right here,” his voice came through muffled.

She smiled to herself, he’d probably stayed just outside the door and heard all of her struggles. “Can I hand you her to dress?”

He slowly cracked the door open, keeping his body in front of the opening. Peggy carefully gathered Mandy off the floor and moved her to his arms. Once she was held tightly, he reached back in, letting his hand flat over her cheek. She reached out, taking it and kissing his palm softly before squeezing it and letting him go.

He closed the door carefully, keeping her towel clad form hidden the whole time. She took her time, but didn’t dawdle too much. The bathroom was their only refuge, and as much as they both needed it, they tried not to leave the other for longer than necessary as it still felt their whole world could upend at any moment.

She was dressed and nearly had her hair pinned up when she heard his dejected, annoyed voice from the other side of the door. “Amanda Grace!”

She popped out, looking across the room, to see his back, Mandy laughing in his arms.

“Everything ok?”

He turned, switching Mandy to the other arm so Peggy could see the dripping wet patch down his shirt and on his leg. He sighed, “Didn’t get the diaper on fast enough.”

~*~

* * *

Under the cover of darkness Steve held her hand tight. He gave a tug and moved closer, gently sliding the basket lower so they could press their foreheads together.

“I want to buy you a ring,” he whispered, knowing only she could hear.

She hummed, “I don’t need that.”

“Need, no, but I want to, if you’ll wear it.”

“Of course I would,” she whispered back, “but I don’t need it.” She laughed just a little under her breath. “Not like you could pop out to the jeweler just now, anyway.”

“It feels like it was a dream.” He leaned over, letting his lips graze her cheek. “Get some sleep, Mrs. Rogers.”

“I know.” She squeezed his hand tight, snuggling down against him to try to sleep. “I’ll do my best, Mr. Rogers.”


	16. Motivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their third day in the lab, things turn dark and motivations are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets dark. 
> 
> ***If you have an aversion to any kind of medical testing, please consider skipping the section where Steve is in the lab in this chapter (the third section).***
> 
> There is talk of needles and the intentional fictionalization and bastardization of a real medical test to a much more brutal event, especially for a baby like Mandy. THIS IS YOUR WARNING. You can skip this section of the chapter completely without losing plot. I felt it was important for me to depict these things for the sake of the plot, but you, as the reader, must protect yourself and your own mental health. 
> 
> Read that AN again, then proceed with caution. Thank you.

The third morning went much like the second, Mandy fussy and then cranky then finally full out screaming in hunger before a bottle was delivered. Peggy banged on the two-way mirror to no avail. It didn’t break, and the bottle didn’t show up until long, torturous minutes after Mandy was wailing.

She and Steve knew little about babies and feeding schedules and how much she should be eating, but they knew when she wanted to eat and that after the tests she was famished and fussy.

Steve, likewise, was tired, hungry, and on edge and she could see it in every step he took. 

The feeling of shooting at torpedoes was back, but now Peggy felt like she was only armed with a slingshot and pebbles. Steve refused to share the burden of whatever was happening beyond the doors with her, and there was precious little she could do from their confinement.

She tried to take on the lion’s share of caring for Mandy, to give him some calm moments and less dealings with the mundane dirty diapers and walking her till she slept in the middle of the night. Steve, however, would have none of it. Just as he had stood at her side that first night in the tent and learned how to feed her and change her diaper to help shoulder her care, he likewise wouldn’t leave her side now and never let Peggy do more than an even share.

Peggy couldn’t quite figure out a way to get him to say all that was sitting right on the tip of his tongue. Even the dark of night only loosened it so much. There was something he wanted to get out, something he wanted to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it yet.

Food, it seemed, was somehow their biggest issue. Steve, on a calm day, ate enough for at least two men thanks to his metabolism. When he was out in the field or training, he could easily double that. Steve was suffering in silence, never asking for more or looking at her share longingly, but she could hear his stomach grumbling in the quiet and knew, without a doubt, he was constantly hungry. Mandy shared this trait and despite their repeated efforts, the faceless men beyond their two-way mirror and the mysterious Dr. Wright refused to feed her, or Steve, more.

She could, at least, feed Steve. It helped that her stomach was so tied in knots that she barely wanted to eat. Throughout the war she’d grown accustomed to finishing her rations, to cleaning her plate in the mess, because one never knew where or when their next meal might be. On the boat she’d indulged in the decadence, savoring flavors she hadn’t had on her tongue in what felt like years. Here, the food was bland and perfunctory: barely above rations and barely enough to be called meals.

She pushed around the oatmeal in her dish, taking a small spoonful here and there, wishing she had the luxury of maple syrup or brown sugar or even just a pat of butter or dollop of cream to make it taste like anything but wallpaper paste. While she’d seen Steve try to make it last out of the corner of her eye, he was scraping the bottom of his own bowl after what felt like seconds. She held her bowl out to him, a third of what she’d been given left sitting there, congealing as time ticked on.

“I can’t stomach another mouthful,” she mumbled when he looked at her, taking the bowl. “We shouldn’t let it go to waste.”

“You’ve got to eat, Peg.” Steve held the bowl back out to her, waiting for her to take it back as his eyes took on a sad turn.

“I did. Quite enough,” she pushed it back into his hands, barely looking at him.

His eyes narrowed. She could almost feel him spoiling for a fight. “I know what you’re doing.”

She thought about denying it, but finally smiled sadly at him. “Then you know just how stubborn I’ll be about it.”

His mouth fell to a grim line. “Peg…”

She held his gaze, she could feel the need for a conflict, could feel how a release of the pent-up frustration between them would feel good, but also knew this was not the time or place, and that it could turn things much, much worse. She wanted to fight with him. She wanted to fuck him. She wanted to smash the two-way glass and pull her husband and baby from the hell with a single-minded determination she’d never felt before. But she shoved all of those feelings down deep, trying to be the rational agent that the situation called for, not the overprotective wife and mother that she wanted to be. They needed to be a united front. They needed to be strong. And that meant that Steve needed to be physically ready for whatever might be coming.

Peggy let her hand fall on his wrist, gently pushing the bowl back towards him. “I’ll tell you, I promise.”

It mollified him for the moment. He took the bowl, stirring the oatmeal and finishing it in two bites.

At eight on the dot the nurse was standing at the door, wordlessly waiting. He looked at her and picked Mandy up, taking the baby out the door with the straight-backed posture she’d seen him use going into battle.

She waited until she couldn’t hear his feet marching down the hall before she let her stomach get the best of her and lost her breakfast down the toilet.

~*~

* * *

Vernon Masters disappeared down into the dark basement, waving his hands at the men behind him to wait at the door at the top of the stairs.

He wasn’t afraid of her.

She should be afraid of him.

She was sitting in the lone chair in the cement brick room, the single light shining on her face, eyes closed against its harshness.

“What took you so long?” She blinked open her eyes and smiled at him, gently tugging on the bindings at her wrists behind her.

He stepped into the circle of light, leaning down. “I’ve been trying to clean up your mess.”

“I didn’t make a mess.” She spat the words at him.

“They told me you were the best,” he retorted sharply. “I paid for the best.”

She sneered. “It’s only a mess because I wasn’t given the proper intel. I was told she was being transported by a GI and a secretary. Not fucking Captain America and the SSR’s top spy.”

Masters let his hand fly, catching her across the face. “Watch your tone, and your language with me.” He paced away and back towards her, unimpressed that she took the slap with almost no acknowledgement of pain or frustration. “You screwed this up, and I have to clean it up.”

Ida rolled her eyes. “Why do you want her so badly? She’s defective.” She waited until Masters turned, even though he didn’t look surprised as she expected. “She’s not going to have accelerated growth. She’ll be useless to you for the next sixteen years.”

Masters circled the small space, letting long seconds tick by before he answered. “Why I want her is none of your concern.”

She smiled like a shark. “If you just want a baby, you could just undo my ties there…” Ida leaned her chest forward and moaned seductively. “You’re a man, I’m a woman… you know how that works, I’m sure.” Masters’ face stayed a stone monument to his disappointment, so she changed tactics. “If you want Erskine’s formula, you’ve already got it in Rogers.”

“If I wanted Erskine’s formula, I’d have it by now.” Masters leaned forward once again. “Assuming you know what I want is going to get you killed.” He stepped away. He stared at her, hoping to intimidate but she didn’t so much as blink. “I think I’ll leave you down here just a little while longer. Maybe you’ll learn your lesson.”

Ida smiled brightly at him, the corners of her mouth moving to a scowl as he turned his back to go up the stairs. She closed her eyes at the harsh light shining in her face and went back to slowly and methodically moving her wrists, wearing down the ropes against her skin.

~*~

* * *

The tests seemed oddly perfunctory for the morning. Repeats of blood tests that left Steve reluctantly holding her limbs straight while the nurses searched for veins and tried botched heel sticks. X-Rays that he knew hadn’t changed in the day since they’d taken them. Wright was quiet, and seemed anxious.

They’d given him a bottle and left him for a while. Mandy calmed as soon as they were alone. As soon as she had a somewhat full stomach, she fell asleep in his arms. He spent the long moments holding her quietly, rethinking every potential positive he saw to staying in this place.

They were back all too soon.

With needles.

And electrical current.

He remembered how that test felt- it had been performed on him years ago. Harsh zaps and the feeling like he was being electrocuted inside, one muscle at a time. Steve protested as they had him strip her down to her diaper, unsure of what this harsh and unrelenting test could tell them about her. Doctor Wright assured him they were using very low current and she’d feel nothing.

He lied.

They said they were testing reflexes, but Steve was almost physically ill with how it made her writhe on the table the first time they sent a jolt of electricity through her. He wasn’t fast enough to stop them before they sent a second jolt, and he felt a tingle of electricity in his own hand where her sweaty palm gripped his finger. The tingle of the electricity made him pound on the table, startling the hospital staff into stopping what they were doing.

“You’re done,” he bit out, pulling the needles from Mandy’s skin without waiting for them to consent to stopping or even turning off the current. He grabbed her dress from the table beside her, not stopping to put it on as he scooped her into his protective embrace.

She was stunned in his arms, her cries not even the full-blown wails he expected, but rather pitiful whimpers unsure of how to understand all that had happened. His fingers still tingled from the current that ran through them as he pulled out the needles, he was sure her whole body must have ached.

He pushed through the doors, not waiting for their usual nurse escort or answering when they called his name.

He finally stopped halfway down the hall when one of the younger nurses ran up to him. “Wait, please!” she called, her shoes slipping on the tile as she ran and tried to get in front of him.

Steve paused, just long enough for her to regain her balance. For what it was worth, she looked sorry. She held out a bottle, pre-made. Steve snatched it from her hand, readjusting Mandy in his arms to bring the nipple to her lips. Her cries stopped immediately, her mouth working hungrily as she looked up at him. He could have sworn he saw relief in her eyes, that at least one thing was finally, finally going right.

“He said it wouldn’t hurt,” the nurse whispered sorrowfully.

Her words pulled Steve’s eyes away from Mandy. He didn’t have time for sad nurses. “Well, it did. And we’re not doing it again.”

He pushed past her, his heart pounding.

~*~

* * *

Steve was back by early afternoon, according to her watch, and Mandy was dazed and undressed in his arms. Exhausted, she kept falling asleep as she tried to eat, greedily sucking on the bottle for a few seconds before nodding off, over and over again.

He was tense, on guard. The set of his shoulders put her on edge and made her heart beat heavy in her chest as he slipped in the room. Their sour-faced nurse was just behind him, stone faced and sending dark looks at Steve’s back as she set a brown bag just inside the door before she wordlessly shut it, slipping the lock into place.

Steve moved past Peggy with purpose, gently taking the bottle away, still half full, and set Amanda in her bassinet. Her mouth continued to suckle furiously but her eyes were closed, her body limp. He took long, careful minutes dressing her and tucking her in, running his fingers over her feet and hands, waiting to see that her fingers and toes curled to him, that she reacted to his touch. Finally, she was still, save for her breathing, and deep asleep.

Peggy stood silent, waiting. She wanted to know, but couldn’t bring herself to ask what had happened. When he finally stood, her heart broke. He didn’t say anything, just looked at her, his mouth a grim, tight line and his eyes dark and sad, wet with unshed tears that she knew he was fighting to keep in.

Peggy licked her lips, knowing they were being watched, but she couldn’t stop herself. Without another thought she stepped over, wrapping her arms around him. He fell apart, curling into her body like it was a life line and making himself somehow so small he tucked his face into the crook of her neck. He didn’t cry, but she could feel his shuddering breaths as he tried to find a way to get control of himself. “I’ll go next time,” Peggy promised him, running her fingers through his hair. “I’ll go. You don’t have to see that again.”

“Has to be me,” he mumbled, wishing he could let go of himself and surrender to her embrace, wishing he could take her over to the cot and tangle themselves until he couldn’t remember where he was or why he was there. “I can’t let you see her like that.” He gulped. “And I can stop them. I did stop them.”

Peggy didn’t want to know anymore, she just held him close until his breathing evened out and Mandy started to fuss, her nap suddenly less important than her growing hunger. She could feel the reluctance as Steve unwound himself from her, could sense that he needed to calm the child after whatever trauma they’d both shared.

He lifted her into his arms and sat on the edge of the cot, cradling her like fine china as she took the bottle again. Peggy collected herself and went for the brown bag by the door, unrolling the edge and looking inside to find tightly wrapped sandwiches.

Peggy joined Steve, not even pretending to consider space between them as she sat. She let the bag sit at their feet, leaning into his side and looking over at Mandy. Her blue eyes were trained on Steve’s face, her hand pressed against his where he held the bottle. Before long the bottle was empty and her eyes were closing again.

Peggy let her head fall to his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his waist. Steve lifted his arm, settling it around her shoulders.

This wasn’t sustainable. It wasn’t acceptable.

It needed to end.

~*~

* * *

Wright stood across from Masters and tossed his papers on the desk. “I’m not doing this anymore.”

“You are if I say you are,” Masters reminded him, pulling the papers towards him and starting to look through them.

Wright’s hands fidgeted in front of him as he tried to gain the confidence to say what he wanted to say. “You’re- you’re not going to get the kind of data you want like this.”

“You worry about doing the tests. I’ll worry about the data.” Masters didn’t look up from the file.

Wright turned away, then took a deep breath and gained some courage and turned back, slamming his hands on the man’s desk. “What in the hell could you gain from these tests?”

Masters looked up slowly. “What can I gain?” He smiled, but the darkness in his eyes took over and he scowled, keeping his secrets. “You’ll do what I tell you. Now get the hell out.”

Wright reluctantly slinked out of the room, the fight drained from his body, Vernon’s eyes on him giving him chills as he left.

Vernon slid the papers in their folder and slipped it into his desk drawer, shutting it and locking it with his key. The girl, in and of herself, was valuable. Anything that got them closer to being able to mass produce a serum was valuable.

Her bigger value was in simply existing. She became a bargaining chip. Hydra wanted her back. If he controlled her, he had all the power in that little bargaining relationship. He’d stayed fairly well hidden in the SSR until now, but he wouldn’t need to hide anymore with a bargaining chip like that.

And sure, that would be something. It would take him places he wanted to be, with men he wanted to get to know. But he saw even more.

That first day, watching Rogers hold her, he knew.

If he held power over that girl, he had Steve Rogers under his thumb. If he could get Captain America to say “Hail Hydra” by manipulating him with that baby’s safety, Vernon Masters could have anything he wanted and more.


	17. The Plot Thickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While time seems still for Peggy and Steve, those around them move on, their allegiances coming clear.

By the fourth day Peggy was sure, absolutely sure, that whoever was behind the glass waited a full ten minutes into Mandy’s wails before permitting the nurse to bring them a bottle.

Howard was not far behind, fighting his way into the room while Rose managed to distract the nurse away from the door.

“Ok, look,” Howard beckoned them with wild eyes, whispering as they pulled in to a tight circle. “Someone in the SSR is Hydra. I’d stake my career on it.”

Peggy whispered fiercely. “You very well might, Howard.”

“What do you mean?” Steve fed Mandy, the tiny baby suckling hard and fast.

“Ida disappeared.” He looked around and pulled them closer to him as he dropped his voice further. “It’s been three days and I’ve heard nothing. I was there when they took her off the boat, then I stopped back here with the bassinet and when I called Lehigh to find out what they were doing with her, they said the transport had been cancelled right after it was called in. I can’t find out hide nor hair of it. Not who cancelled it. Not why it was cancelled. Nothing.”

Peggy shook her head. “That doesn’t mean someone’s Hydra, Howard, it just means it’s above your clearance level.”

His mouth pressed to a fine line, knowing she knew better. “I AM the clearance level, Peg. If they’re keeping secrets from me, we have a problem.”

Steve, ever the voice of reason, stepped in. “There has to be something else that has you saying this.”

He nodded. “Masters is fighting, hard, for that kid to be transferred to his custody. He won’t take my calls and he won’t even talk to Dooley at this point.”

“Into his custody? As in, he physically wants the baby himself?” Peggy asked, her hand moving protectively to Steve’s shoulder. Howard nodded emphatically. “So you think he’s Hydra?”

“Hydra, or something else. Leviathan, maybe.” Howard sighed, eyes wild. “He knew too much, Steve. Even after you guys left, the way he was talking. He’s got something else going. I know it.”

The door crashed back open. “Mr. Stark!” The nurse fought her way back in, startling them. Mandy let the bottle fall from her lips, crying out before Steve could get her to latch on again. “You absolutely must leave this second.”

Howard rolled his eyes at her. “I will leave when you get down on your knees and kiss my ass,” he replied. He turned back to Steve and Peggy, his voice low. “I’m going to see Wright right now. He’s a stand-up guy, but something’s fishy. If we can get him on our side…”

Rose was still trying to distract the nurse, but it wasn’t working. “Mr. Stark!”

Howard turned, putting his finger in her face. “Yeah, I’m going. But you have your orders. The door stays unlocked. They get what they want, whenever they want. You hear me?”

The nurse smiled at him, her eyes dark. “I’ll hear you when you get on your knees and kiss my ass.”

Howard looked her up and down, eyebrows knit. “I think you’d like that a little too much.”

She grabbed his ear, twisting and pulling him out of the room to his yelps of pain.

Rose watched as they left, her hand on her chest. “Well, that was…” She took a deep breath and faced Steve and Peggy. “I’m going to be your contact for the time being. Mr. Stark’s providing for anything you’d like or need, even though I haven’t been authorized to move you out of this room.” Rose smiled half-heartedly.

“Her bag, Rose?” Peggy asked, stepping forward and peeking out the door to see the nurse continuing to give Howard a hard time as she tried to pull him down the hall. “And more formula? They’re not giving us enough for her.”

Rose nodded, a little more confident with an easy request. “I’ll try to track the bag down- the brown satchel you had when you arrived?” She pulled a small notebook from her pocket, patting her other side down for a pen. “And for yourselves?”

Steve was still stoic, but his tone of voice was dire. “Just worry about her right now, please.”

~*~

* * *

The smile fell from Rose’s face as soon as she left the observation room and started down the hall.

Rose was not a stupid woman. She knew working for the SSR meant secrets and spying and questionable acts. She knew it was the middle of a war and that sometimes that meant morality had to be more grey than black and white.

She was also a very thorough secretary. She’d always gone through all of the memos that came across her desk, every file, and each item to be inventoried. She knew everything that went on at the SSR despite acting like she knew none of it. She figured one day it would make her valuable. One day it might give her a chance out in the field. Rose knew every official and unofficial order and piece of business that passed through her office inside and out.

What she didn’t know was why one of their top agents and Captain America were being held hostage in one of their medical observation rooms, desperately trying to take care of a baby while men in suits and dark offices argued about what was best for the infant.

“Best” these days seemed to hover somewhere in between lifelong testing and imprisonment to downright dissection.

There was grey morality, and then there were things that were just wrong.

She knew this was wrong, and she was going to find a way to help right it.

As soon as she found that satchel.

~*~

* * *

Ida rubbed her raw wrists, staring at the two men standing around her. “Did he give you something for me?” The taller man, the one who had undone her restraints, handed her a thin envelope. “That’s it?”

He nodded, and nudged her towards the stairs. “He said that would be all you need.”

Ida opened the envelope, looked over the words, and turned smiling.

In only a few moves the men were at her feet, broken necks twisting their heads in almost comical poses, the paper with only one sentence on it left between them as she walked up the stairs, smoothing her hair.

_Kill them, finish what I paid you for._

~*~

* * *

Amanda was wailing when Rose came back with the satchel a half hour later. Steve took it from her hands and dug through, tossing a foul-smelling bottle of formula from four days ago into the sink before he set about to making a fresh bottle, “This is wonderful, Rose.” Relief permeated his voice as he shook the bottle and handed it to Peggy, the baby latching on and suckling greedily.

“They really aren’t giving you enough food for her, are they?” Rose pondered, her hands wringing in front of her as she watched how furiously the babe suckled and how she seemed relieved.

Peggy shook her head, looking up from the cot. “No, I’m afraid not.”

“Have you seen Howard?” Steve asked, moving back to the bathroom to dump the sour formula down the drain.

“No, I’m afraid last anyone saw, Chief Dooley was barging in on his meeting with Dr. Wright.” Rose shuffled her feet, moving back towards the door. She watched them work in time: Steve handing a burp cloth over without Peggy having to ask for it, Peggy burping her with ease. It both warmed and broke her heart. She watched as Steve unpacked the rest of the small bag, pulling out the small knit toys that the girl had been denied.

Her chest tightened again, the bright colors of the toys standing out against the coldness of the room. It only made her resolve stronger. “I’ll be back with more formula.”

~*~

* * *

Mandy was finally asleep in the basket at their feet, calm and full. Peggy and Steve were whispering to one another, heads close as they sat on the cot.

Peggy picked at her cuticles, itching to hold Steve’s hand. “If Howard can’t get through to them…”

“We have a plan for that,” Steve whispered back, sliding over and letting his leg touch hers, needing the comforting contact as well. He didn’t want to think about them trying to run, trying to shoot their way out of the building. They were several stories up, had only two pistols that were still hidden under their pillows, and without his shield he had only his body to protect Peggy and Mandy. Despite feeling like they were in a hospital, he was very aware that they were still housed in a secret military facility and what that truly meant when it came to security and firepower. It wouldn’t be the worst escape he’d ever made, but it wouldn’t be an easy one if it came down to it.

Peggy sighed, her fingers still fidgeting. “How long can we stay here?”

“As long as we need to,” Steve gave up and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together between their bodies and hoping they couldn’t be seen from the two-way mirror. They’d given in a few times, but they still wanted to keep what was between them between them. In some ways it was still their ace in the hole, and it was nice to still feel like they had one thing that wasn’t on display. He could feel his blood pressure decrease as her fingers laced in his, squeezing tight. He heard her breathing slow and deepen. He sighed. “You have to actually sleep tonight. I’ll stay up.”

“Steve—”

“You need sleep, Peggy.” He was vehement. “I can go without it.”

“We set up a watch,” she replied, just as stubbornly. “We both need to be on our best here.”

~*~

* * *

Howard looked over the copies of the files that Wright had slipped him before Dooley barged in on their meeting. Wright was at his wits end, he was not sure what the goal of all this was, what the outcome might be, and Howard agreed.

Dooley had managed to bully the man in to keeping quiet before he ushered Howard out. Howard’s dislike of Dooley was growing by the day as the man showed he was the puppet of someone else, probably Masters, and was willing to play this twisted game for power or money or maybe even both.

While the SSR, and Masters in particular, continued to push to rip the girl from Steve and Peggy and let her be cared for by Masters and an around the clock nurse, Howard was fighting back just as hard to find someone rational left on the home front to back him in any kind of sane solution.

While some of the testing seemed to make sense, and even mimicked the tests he’d run on Steve way back when, the frequency of some of them was ridiculous and the blood tests seemed much more extensive than necessary. The electromyography was completely uncalled for and the parameters were nearly cruel.

Howard let his head fall back, pushing the chair away from the desk. “Fucking hell, what is he looking for?”

Howard slammed the folder shut and pulled out his rolodex. There must be someone this side of the Atlantic he could get to listen to him.

~*~

* * *

Steve almost expected to see a silver cart precede the man as Jarvis entered their room. As it was, the smell wafting from the brown bags he carried made his mouth water. “I see you’ve no table,” Jarvis frowned, looking around the barren room. “No matter.”

Peggy and Steve watched as Jarvis gently slid the clean diapers and baby clothes back and set out their dinner on the metal medical table: still warm glazed ham with vegetables and a covered bowl of salad. He pulled out linen napkins and real silverware, managing to make the small corner somewhat presentable.

He turned, his lips pursed. “I regret that you may have to stand to eat, but I was not informed of your accommodations.”

Peggy smiled as she stepped close to him. “Mr. Jarvis, you did not need to do this.”

“Oh, in fact I very much did.” He looked softly at Peggy. “The service here is abysmal and I’ll not have you eating meagre rations while on American soil.” He smiled slightly. “I have to cook for Mr. Stark, Ana and myself, anyway. I can, at the very least, bring you our leftovers.” He frowned again, looking around the room. “And a table. Perhaps a throw rug. You need some color, this is dreadfully depressing.”

~*~

* * *

“Sleep, Peg,” Steve whispered in the dark. Mandy had settled easily without a trip to see the doctors today, the first day they hadn’t bothered them since they’d been here, and with enough formula to fill her belly, but Steve could still feel Peggy’s anxious energy from the other side of their cot. He fully intended to stay up all night and let her sleep as much as she could despite her insisting on taking a watch. Despite trying, neither had managed more than a few minutes here and there in the uncomfortable cots over the last few nights. His plan would only work if she ever actually fell asleep.

“Can’t,” she murmured back. It had been a strange day, full of anxiety and stress, wondering who was going to come through their door next. She didn’t know how long she could take the not knowing, the stress of feeling she had to constantly be ready to run with nowhere to go.

Steve sighed heavily. “Ok, where did we leave off?”

Peggy twined her fingers tighter with his, sliding the basket down by their hips and inching close to press her forehead to his. He couldn’t see her in the dark, but he thought perhaps she was smiling by the sound of her voice. “Maid Marion had just met Robin in Sherwood Forrest.”

“Right. So, she joins him and the merry men…”

Peggy let his voice drift over her, low and quiet and somehow so sure. She felt lost and frustrated, but with each word she felt a little of that stress decrease, fall away, and lay dormant, at least for tonight.


	18. One Week Then Everything Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opportunities present themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have an extra chapter. I think we all need a little something happy and escapist right now. 
> 
> Also, This is your warning that there is once again smut in this chapter. I hate to ruin the surprise like that, but I know some of you are skipping it. You’ll know where it’s coming. Once the kissing starts, don’t read any further in that section if you’d like to avoid consensual, adult, married sex. Skipping it makes little to no difference in the plot. Read the last line of the chapter, though. :)

Day five dawned, though they couldn’t tell it in the dark from their cots; Mandy’s fussing was the first signal that it was time to start the new day. Peggy woke, groggy, and climbed over Steve to use the bathroom. When she returned, she had a bottle in her hand, something that felt like a relief and a luxury all at once. Steve sat up, ready to take it from her, but she pushed him back down.

“You let me sleep too long,” she whispered, both admonishing and grateful. “Hand her over, I’ll feed her, you try to get a nap in.”

Steve was ready to argue, but the weariness was bone deep, and he knew his ability to protect them all was firmly seated in how ready he’d be if anything happened. What stopped him was the look in Peggy’s eyes. She was still tired, but at least a little refreshed. While he didn’t doubt her ability, ever, he knew that she was at least rested enough to have her normal wits and reflexes.

Even ten minutes would be enough to give him a good edge if he needed it.

He lifted the bassinet from his side, handing it to her with a grateful smile. “You wake me if…”

Peggy held the bassinet between them and the two-way mirror, taking advantage of the blocked view to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “Sleep, Captain. It’s an order.”

~*~

* * *

The lights were on and Steve paced the length of the room with Mandy, playing with her small pig and refreshed from almost a full hour of sleep. Peggy was in the bathroom, getting as ready for the day as she could in a ritual that gave her at least a little sense of normalcy. It was an obscene parody of their time on the boat: domestic on the surface but with a sinister undercurrent.

A knock at the door made them both jump. Peggy looked at Steve, surprised as he was that anyone would knock. He handed Mandy to her, waited until they were both well behind him and opened it, relaxing and smiling when he saw Rose there.

She smiled shyly, adjusting her glasses. “Hi, I hope I’m not interrupting?”

Steve shook his head and stepped back, inviting her in. “No, you just surprised us.”

“No one else has knocked,” Peggy supplied at her concerned look.

“Ah, well,” Rose shrugged, still unsure of what the best way to treat the situation was as she entered. “That’s quite… rude.”

Peggy laughed, handing Mandy back to Steve and returning to the small bathroom mirror to try to fix her falling curls. He gave the secretary a small smile. “What brings you here this morning?”

Rose lifted the bag from over her shoulder. “I brought more formula, and a blanket.” She pulled the jar of formula out and handed it to Steve before unfurling a small quilt and laying it on the floor. “There’s really no good place for her to lay or play, and I thought this would be better than just the floor.”

Steve smiled, crouching down and setting Mandy on her belly. Immediately, the girl pressed up on her forearms and cooed at Rose. “I think she likes it.” Steve stood, his eyes full of emotion. “Thank you, Rose.”

She shrugged, turning serious. “Like I said before, I don’t really know what’s going on, and I don’t expect to, but keeping you all in here like prisoners… with a baby of all things…” Rose shook her head, forcing a smile on her face. “Is there anything I can get for you today?”

“A table,” came the voice of Howard Stark from behind her. “Some chairs. Maybe a proper bed.”

Rose rolled her eyes at the man who moved past her empty handed. “You can bring them whatever you like, Mr. Stark. I have still not been told they can move into one of the rooms upstairs.”

Howard sank onto the cot, wiggling his fingers at Mandy who was watching him closely. “Yeah, and you’re not going to,” he sighed.

“What do you mean?” Peggy asked, stepping back into the room as she secured the last pin in her hair.

“I mean they’re set on keeping you all down here.” He let his arms fall on his thighs. “I’ve managed to get them to agree to medical testing every four days.”

“That’s a lot, Howard,” Peggy argued.

“They wanted every day, Peg.” He looked up at her, his exhaustion showing through his bravado. “I talked them down with the promise that if anything changes, you’ll tell them.” Howard pointed at Steve, the soldier’s eyes already narrowing. “Don’t look at me like that, Steve. These men are sharks. I haven’t slept in two days.”

“Who, Howard?” Peggy asked, incensed. “Who are these men?”

“Masters. Dooley. A handful of generals who are either too old to care about what’s going on or too stupid to understand it.” He ran his hands through his already wild hair in frustration. “The SSR brass are all overseas. Anyone who might have a chance in hell of being on our side or outranking these men is unreachable.”

Steve settled himself on the floor next to Mandy, his hand running up and down her back as she pushed up and down on her hands experimentally. “How long do they want us here?”

Howard shrugged. “They want it open ended.” He looked at Peggy and Steve, sadness in his eyes. He only hesitated a moment before talking in front of Rose, lowering his voice. “I even went as far as to argue that she could be your kid, and that backfired spectacularly.”

Peggy sat next to Howard, “How?”

He laughed at the irony of it, grimacing at Steve. “Instead of giving us the power to claim that you, as the parent, would get the ability to make decisions for her, they’re claiming that you, as property of the Army, have no rights in making decisions for her and that if she is indeed your offspring, she’d also be their property.” Howard turned his head, looking at Peggy. “Regardless of who the mother is or isn’t.”

Steve let his head hang, looking at Mandy as she pushed up on the quilt, her legs working behind her frantically to try to figure out what it meant to be on her belly. His heart sank. What he thought would be an iron clad way of claiming the child and keeping her out of the hands of men with dark motivations looked to be damning them both. He was trying to decide if it would be better to let their little family grow up in clinical, depressing rooms like this to be studied or if they should take the chance and try to escape tonight, when Rose stepped forward, her whisper soft.

“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this.” She swallowed hard when all three sets of eyes looked at her. “There’s a high priority set of coded documents headed out to Colonel Phillips tonight via air carrier.”

“Tonight?” Howard asked, standing.

Rose nodded. Her eyes shifted before she stepped even closer, whispering so quietly she could barely be heard, her back to the two way mirror so her lips couldn’t be seen. “He’s asked for an update on your situation in his next briefing packet and Chief Dooley’s account is somewhat… biased.” She clasped her hands together, wringing them tight. “If you can get me what you want him to know in the next hour, I can have it coded and in the packet without anyone knowing.”

Howard eyes widened and without warning he kissed Rose full on the lips. “You’re wonderful, you know that?” He turned, hurrying out the room, eyes wild.

Rose, flustered, smiled at Peggy and Steve’s flabbergasted looks. “I’d be a horrible secretary if I didn’t know when and where Chief Dooley’s reports were going, or if I let them get there without all the pertinent information needed.” She straightened her glasses, shrugging, and spoke louder for whoever was watching from behind the glass. “Anything else I can get for you today?”

~*~

* * *

The day dragged on with little to mark the time but the nurses stopping by with the brown bag of lunch and Mandy’s scheduled bottles.

She drank nearly twice what they were providing her. At this rate, they’d start noticing her growing sooner rather than later.

Peggy and Steve spent a slow afternoon on the floor, the luxury of the quilt a small happiness. Peggy pointed out colors to the gurgling girl, naming them out loud and trying not to think about how badly her nail varnish was chipping with no bottle to touch it up in sight.

In the mud of the European front, the ability to sit and paint her nails for five minutes before going to bed had seemed like an important ritual. Just as setting her hair and putting on her lipstick felt like donning armor, keeping her nails tidy and stockings mended seemed to keep her grounded and remind her that there would be a day when everything ended. Small comforts were different things now, like the tiny menagerie of knitted toys they could play with as Steve sang “Old McDonald,” or the fact that she could cry in the bathroom without having to let the bastards behind the glass see her tears.

She was sure Steve knew, but he never said anything. He acted like it wasn’t happening, giving her a little dignity in front of whatever was watching them and held her hand tight in the night.

Dinner was delivered by one of the many nurses, her eyes dark and foreboding. It was cooked, however, by Mr. Jarvis, as the pasta dish was far more flavorful than anything they’d been served by the SSR.

Under cover of darkness in the cot, listening to Mandy coo to herself in her basket, Steve squeezed her hand gently. “You think Howard did it?”

“I think if he hadn’t, he’d have told us.” Peggy squeezed back and tried to slide closer to him. She could almost, almost, get her head on his shoulder with the bassinet between them.

“Can we wait that long?” Steve asked, earnestly. “For paper to get there and back…”

“I know,” Peggy whispered, feeling her eyes well up. It was silent for a moment, Mandy’s deep breaths even and slow as she fell asleep. “We can wait.”

Steve’s voice was thick, “Can she?” Peggy could feel him tense, could feel the fear and frustration come off of him in waves. She didn’t make him wait for an answer.

“She can. And we can. We can wait,” she whispered desperately. “We can wait.”

He was still tense next to her, muscles corded and tight and breaths coming short and tight as he tried to calm himself to sleep in the dark. “Fuck this,” he finally murmured, pushing out of the cot. Peggy sat up, unable to see clearly but hearing the rustling as he lifted Mandy from her bassinet and then discarded the bassinet to the floor.

More carefully this time he slid into bed, Mandy settling on his chest. He reached out, and Peggy slid over, doing her best to nestle in his side. They shifted, trying to find a way over the awkward gap between the mattresses before Peggy finally shifted even closer, slinging her leg over his and plastering herself to him.

She felt her own tension begin to drain the minute she laid against him, the pile of them nesting a balm to her worried soul. Ear on his chest, she could hear the pounding of his heart start to slow, his breathing even out as he held her close.

“I’m gonna protect you both,” Steve whispered vehemently, kissing her forehead as he squeezed her tight to his side. “He gets a week. That should be plenty of time for the information to get there and for something to happen. If we don’t hear in a week, we’re leaving. No matter what.”

“Steve…” Peggy started to protest, but she wasn’t sure why she seemed to want to advocate for staying and it died on her lips. Maybe it was the fear of the unknown, of what might happen to them on their own without the resources of their friends. Maybe it was the fear that somehow, they’d end up worse off than they already were. In the pit of her stomach, it felt like she was most afraid that she’d somehow lose him. She wrapped her arm and leg tighter, wishing she could get rid of the sinking feeling in her stomach.

“One week.” He sighed into the blackness. “I’m not letting either of you stay here a minute longer.”

~*~

* * *

Mandy woke in the middle of the night, as she had been doing, fussing for a bottle. Peggy sighed happily as Steve stood, the girl still in his arms, knowing they were able to finally provide what she needed.

Peggy slid back to the cot closer to the wall as she listened to Steve prepare the bottle and talk through the steps with her as he did it. Their incarceration was wearing them both thin. Five days in, they found their topics of discussion were few and their ability to find creative things try to keep Mandy’s attention waxed and waned with how anxious they were. They’d resorted to simply narrating whatever they were doing at the moment to her, mindlessly jabbering about folding diapers or counting push-ups just to keep her engaged. She wasn’t talking yet, but her babbling was starting to mimic their sentences, and despite all that was happening, they were trying their best for her.

Peggy rolled to her back, rubbing her thigh where the metal frame of the cot had dug in. She hadn’t slept as deep or as well as she just had since she’d gotten here, and she tried not to think that something so cliched as Steve’s embrace made her feel safe enough to succumb. She rubbed the pins and needles from her leg, the ache as the blood rushed back to the area making her wiggle her toes. The midnight feeding didn’t take very long anymore, and she expected Steve back at any moment. As much as she longed to curl up against him again, the bassinet needed to find its way back into bed, their charade back on display for whoever was behind the glass for when morning came.

Though, she mused, if they had night vision goggles or hidden cameras or any of a dozen other pieces of spy tech hidden in this room they were likely already found out.

She heard Steve come out of the bathroom, her eyes shutting even tighter against the harsh beam of light that shone from the small room as he slipped through the door. She heard him shuffle around the room, his vision much better than hers in the dark, and figured Mandy needed a diaper change, as well. He disappeared back in the bathroom, the dark swallowing the small room again and she relaxed into the cot.

She was almost asleep again when she heard his voice. “Peg?”

She hummed, rolling to look towards the door, squinting against the light that shone through. “Yeah?”

His voice was low and warm. “Give me a hand?” 

She pushed up, sliding around and pushing back the scratchy blankets as she slid over and off, padding barefoot to the door of the bathroom. “She have a blow out again?” Steve closed the door behind her as soon as she slipped into the bathroom, gently crowding her against it as she blinked her eyes against the light. Peggy let her hands rest on his shoulders as she acclimated herself to the light, quietly grunting, still thick with sleep. “Well?” Peggy asked, looking past him.

Steve smiled as Peggy caught sight of Mandy, fast asleep in her bassinet in the little shower cubicle, her eyes morphing between confused and concerned until he lowered his lips to her, kissing her gently. “I just…” he kissed her again, pressing closer to her. “I needed to touch you,” he whispered desperately against her lips, pushing her against the door and tangling one hand in her hair as the other braced him on the wall against her hip.

She could feel him hardening against her as his mouth traveled across her jaw and down her neck. She let her hands slide down his sides and over his ass, pulling him closer with a moan as his tongue flicked over her collarbone. “I need you,” he whispered, bending to kiss down her sternum and back up again, his lips playing across the skin of the other side of her neck.

She let her hands move back up his body, sliding them around to cradle the back of his neck. “I’m yours,” she told him, tilting her head and letting the sides of her lips kiss anything they could reach: ear, sideburn, jaw… repeating the mantra over and over again until he relented and let her claim his mouth. 

She let him kiss her until her lips felt raw and swollen, until her mouth felt hot and dry. “We can’t…” she whispered, trying to convince herself to pull away from him.

“Why?” he whispered harshly, pressing his forehead to hers and breathing heavy. “All those reasons we came up with to hide aren’t holding water with me anymore.” He brought his hand to her cheek, stroking it with his thumb gently, reverently. “I love you. I’m sick of pretending. Of hiding. Of being afraid of these men.” He pulled back, looking her in the eyes.

“We’re vulnerable if we let ourselves go,” she whispered, holding on tight to him. She could feel her resolve weakening, her argument thin.

“No more so when we’re laying, or sleeping, or changing her diaper.” He sighed, cupping her jaw. “Peg…” He let his head fall to her shoulder, nuzzling his nose at her neck. “God, I need you. Feeling you pressed up against me, I feel like I…” He didn’t know how to describe it, the same high he’d felt when he came out of the pod and he could breathe again, the same euphoria he felt the first time he ran, the same love he felt the first time they kissed. “You want to stop right now, I stop.” He sighed, trying to force himself away from her. “We’ll stop.”

“If there’s someone back there, they’ll hear us,” she whispered, unsure of how she felt about the prospect. She suddenly felt so betrayed, that most of her intimate moments learning this man were listened in on… that they were learning one another with threats hanging over their heads.

“We’ll stop…” he murmured, pushing away from her.

She pulled him back, crushing him to her despite his surprise. She looked up at him, a new tenacity tinted with lust in her eyes. She’d been without his touch for too long, as well, and now that she had it she couldn’t dream of stopping. “They’ll never get in here with you pressing me up against the door like this.”

He smiled wolfishly, moving his lips closer to hers slowly. Desperation and instinct took over as they touched again, the two pushing hard against the door, trying to merge together as though sheer force of will could let them become one.

With swift hands he lifted her from her feet, her legs wrapping around him reflexively as his hips pushed against hers. “More,” she moaned, hiking up her skirt with one hand while she held him around the shoulders with the other.

His fingers moved lower, one hand sliding along her thigh, over her stockings to play at her panties, pressing against where he wanted to be. Her head fell back against the door, banging loudly as he rubbed against her sensitive flesh. They both froze, looking over to the shower, waiting as the babe whined for a moment before settling back down.

Peggy and Steve met eyes, still breathing heavy. “Quickly and quietly, yes?” Peggy asked, unlocking her ankles and letting Steve put her down. He nodded, and they set to work, Peggy sliding her panties off from under her dress and Steve stepping out of his pants and shorts, kicking them to the side.

Peggy bit her lip and moaned, watching his hard length as he stood to face her. “You don’t happen to have that little silver tin, do you?”

Her yes met his, just in time to see his face fall. “No…”

Peggy’s hands reached out of their own accord, running over his still dressed torso. “Fuck it,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and jumping, Steve catching her with ease. “Just don’t—"

“Right,” Steve nodded in understanding, backing her up against the door and slipping his hand between them, “I won’t.”

Peggy let her hands slide up, cupping his jaw and moving his gaze back to her face. “God, I love you, Steve,” she whispered, kissing him roughly.

Without waiting he pressed in to her, moaning in her mouth at the feel of being inside her. “You’ll have to…” He dipped his head to her arm before kissing her again. “Touch yourself,” he said against her lips, breathless already. “I can’t… too much to…”

Peggy kissed him, stopping his rambling as she slipped a hand between them. It was awkward and she felt like she was slipping, so she pulled it back and held tight to his shoulders. “Can’t either,” she whispered, leaning her head forward and biting at his shoulder. “Just… oh yes…”

He pressed her harder into the door, grinding against her with each thrust until she was wiggling in his arms, panting with each press of his hips to her.

Without warning his hands grabbed her hips, lifting her higher as he slid out from her folds. She could feel his length twitching against her thigh, warm spurts against her leg as he curled into her, face buried in her neck and arm muscles bulging as he fought to hold her up as he finished against her leg.

He slowly slid her down his body as he caught his breath, nuzzling at her neck. “Fuck, sorry. Sorry. I couldn’t…”

“You’re very good with directions. I did say quick,” she whispered breathlessly, running a hand through his hair. She lifted her leg, wrapping just the one up towards his hip. “Give me a leg up?”

His fingers curled under her knee, holding it up as she slipped her hand between them. He shifted, moving just enough so he could watch her fingers as they played expertly in her folds, knowing exactly where and how much pressure to give. He was fascinated, his hands gently caressing, mimicking the moves she made on her skin as he held her between himself and the door.

He licked at the hollow of her throat, nipping gently with his teeth and laving the bites with kisses until he felt her stiffen and shudder under him, moaning and catching her breath until it was over and she was limp in his arms.

He kissed her, deep and long, gently letting her leg down and caressing her body through her dress as she came down from her high. Steve slowly pulled away, reaching out for a towel and wetting it in the sink before kneeling at her feet. He ran the towel up her leg, following it with kisses as he cleaned her, leaving her as pristine as she’d been when she first followed him in the bathroom. With gentle hands he slipped her feet back into her panties, sliding them up and under her dress.

Peggy’s lip was between her teeth, eyes starting to fill with lust again, her breath shaky when he finally stood tall in front of her. “Oh, the things I’m going to do to you when we finally have our own bed.” She took a deep breath and slipped away from him. “Please put your pants on before I’m tempted to be even stupider than we just were.”

Steve didn’t look at her as he gathered his shorts and slipped them on. “Do you regret…”

“No,” she stopped him quickly, picking up the bassinet. “Not at all.” She turned, waiting until he was dressed and looking at her again. “I suppose that will have to last us for a while, at least.” She sighed, looking him up and down before licking her lips and looking away, a smile on her face. “I’m a very lucky woman.”

“Not as lucky as I am.” He gently turned her chin back to him, kissing her softly. “One week, Peg, then everything changes. I promise.”


	19. How Is Staying Harder?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days continue to shift by, leaving Steve pacing like a caged tiger as they wait to hear from Phillips. Peggy and Jarvis pull off a classic stunt, and Masters makes another appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100% stole lines from Agent Carter. I’m not telling you which ones, you’ll know. I couldn’t have Peggy and Edwin together and NOT do this classic scene.

Howard, Rose, and Jarvis were determined to make the small observation room that the SSR would not let them leave more and more like a home. It was a slow exercise in disobedience as they waited for word, one way or another, that Phillips had received their communication.

The next morning they’d woken to Jarvis and Howard fighting to get a table that was just too wide for the doors through. Steve jumped up to help and to Peggy’s amusement it still took them more than a few tries to make it back into the room without breaking the table or the door.

The next day it was a mattress. They had to balance it on the cots, but the springs and padding were far more comfortable than the thin mattresses and went a long way towards bringing just a little softness to their existence. It was still a prison, something they were very acutely aware of, despite now having a soft retreat.

Rose had been helping Peggy finish making the bed with the sheets and blanket Howard sent along when Steve had finally come back with Mandy, wailing and crying at her treatment for the morning at the hands of the relentless doctors. Curling up on the bed, feeding her and laying with her on the softness seemed like a godsend to Peggy as Steve spent long minutes in the bathroom, finding himself once again after the morning. When he came out, as unreadable as Peggy had ever seen him, he slipped into the bed on the other side of Amanda. Together, in that little bed, she tried to forget.

She didn’t know what the faceless men behind the glass could or couldn’t hear, but she was beyond caring. Howard had played one of their cards, and if the doctors thought it was even a remote possibility that Peggy and Steve were Mandy’s parents, continuing to fight to avoid touching, to avoid soothing one another, was just more torture inflicted on themselves.

And there was more than enough room, once the lights were out, for Peggy to slide the bassinet over and curl into Steve’s side for a few hours on the mattress.

The metal crib was flipped up on its side in a corner to function better as a drying rack and was replaced with a small play pen the next day. It never felt like home, but it was surprising how the little changes made her feel somehow more comfortable.

Eight days into their imprisonment, with little to say or do lest they reveal more than they wanted, they were both antsy and anxious. Steve was counting down the days, and that morning she’d caught him mumbling “four” under his breath more often than she was happy with.

Steve and Mandy had been summoned by Doctor Wright, despite the agreed to schedule, as he claimed they needed to repeat a blood test that reported out a dangerously low value for her electrolytes.

Peggy and Steve were both suspicious, but he took the girl anyway. They didn’t want to upset the system now that they’d decided to stick it out. They should be hearing news from Phillips any day now.

When she was alone, Peggy constantly wondered what would happen if she just left. She lad little else to do but tidy and pace, exercise and wait. Despite the door no longer being locked, Peggy was loathe to leave their little nest even though she itched to explore. She worried about leaving and not being able to find her way back in the labyrinth of the building, or leaving and not being able to find Steve. It seemed so irrational to be afraid after all they’d gone through, but leaving alone, leaving them behind, was what she was truly feared.

When the thought that they might not come back, that she’d be left alone, inevitably popped up, she shoved it back down as far as she could. 

Yet, she desperately wanted to know who, or what, was on the other side of the two-way mirror. They assumed they were being watched all of the time, but had nothing to back that up other than the knowledge that they would have put up around the clock surveillance had it been the other way around. A quick glance outside the double doors showed no easily accessible entrance to where the mirror was, only a blank wall that extended down a long hallway. Even asking Mr. Jarvis to look for the door two days earlier had turned out fruitless and with him getting lost in the building for nearly twenty minutes.

She was still contemplating it when Mr. Jarvis showed up, a hot lunch packed in a brown bag. “How are you doing this morning…Miss Carter?”

She nearly laughed as he choked out her name, stumbling over the “Mrs. Rogers” he so desperately wanted to say out loud. She walked over, laying her hands flat on the metal table they still used as a changing table where he’d placed the bag. She tapped her nails for a moment, making him meet her intense stare with a quizzical look. “Mr. Jarvis, how would you feel if we smashed that mirror with this table?”

His surprise was fleeting, replaced by a smile full of mischief. “I would feel splendid about it.”

She moved the brown bag quickly. “All right. We pick it up, and then on the count of three...”

He nodded, his hands rubbing together quickly. “Battering ram.” They let their hands slide wide, lifting. “Ready?”

They counted together, lifting and swinging through one and two until Mr. Jarvis held back. “Wait.” Peggy staggered and put the table down, looking at him. “What if there are people behind this mirror that we're breaking?”

Peggy almost rolled her eyes at him. These were not people she was concerned with at the moment. “Then they may get hurt. There will be a spray of glass.”

“I see.” He turned and they lifted again, once again getting as far as two before he held back his swing and sent Peggy reeling as she put the table down. “Wait! What if these hypothetical people behind the mirror have guns?”

She stared at him, trying not to lose her temper. “Then we may get hurt. There will be a spray of bullets.”

“I see.” She could almost see the moment he made the decision to forge on, and had to hide her smile. He lifted the table and she joined him, swinging and counting until they finally, finally hit ‘3’ this time and crashed the table through the two-way mirror. 

Peggy helped Mr. Jarvis put the table back down on their side of the room before wrapping her hand in a clean burp cloth and punching out jagged glass along the frame with her closed fist. Beyond the ragged edges was a black, empty room. “No people. Everybody wins.”

Mr. Jarvis shrugged and went back to the table, laying out the food. “Do you think it was empty before, or they left when you declared your intentions?”

“I think it doesn’t matter,” she smiled, poking her head in and cataloging the small room. There were two chairs they’d absolutely take for themselves, some recording devices she’d easily be able to shut off, and at the far end stairs that led out to the floor below, which was why they’d never been able to find a door. “I think it means we get a little privacy now.”

~*~

* * *

Privacy was, evidently, overrated. Though they’d broken the barrier to the room, it didn’t seem to stop the SSR from feeling they had the right to observe. A young man, with a square jaw, a crooked nose, and lab coat, spent four hours sitting in the room, staring at them through the hole in the wall.

He arrived only minutes after Steve and Mandy had come back that morning, bringing his own folding chair as Peggy had commandeered the two wooden chairs for their own.

He made notes occasionally.

He didn’t talk to them. Didn’t make any noise. Didn’t even move much as he watched them go on with their morning, talking to Mandy and changing diapers and taking turns exercising as the other laid on the small quilt on the floor with the baby.

When he got up and left, Steve and Peggy breathed a deep sigh of relief, only to find him back after what seemed to be a simple lunch break.

He watched them change her, and play with her, and try to soothe her when she started to cry, as another hour wore on, with no more than a blank look on his face.

He gave no indication what he thought about any of it, other than to scribble on his pad and take note of the time from his wrist watch.

Steve, who had been mumbling “four” under his breath more often, had had enough. He pulled one of their stolen chairs over, set it a few feet from the opening, and sat heavily, staring at the scientist. His eyes were cold, and dark, and just slightly dangerous.

Peggy had seen that look before on him; it was a look few saw and lived. The scientist gulped audibly, but otherwise didn’t move. Peggy tried to function normally, tried to play with Mandy as Steve stared at the man for hours on end, but she found it unnerving and couldn’t hide her anxiety, which made Mandy fussy.

Steve stood when the man did and watched as he silently flipped his folding chair closed and left the room. Steve waited until he heard the door at the bottom of the stairs close before he took his own chair in his hands and followed through the hole in the wall and down the stairs. Peggy held Mandy tight and braced herself, unsure of what Steve was planning and trying to be ready for anything.

She and Mandy both jolted when there were three dull bangs, the sounds of wood hitting wood. Steve stalked back up the stairs and into their space, his shoulders still tense.

“What did you do?” Peggy asked, swaying Mandy to ease her fussing after the banging scared her.

“Jammed the chair under the knob.” His hands kept fisting and unfurling; his body coiled with tension. “Won’t stop them for long, but should at least alert us and buy us time if they want to come back.”

Peggy stepped closer but he stepped out of her reach, her face falling as he paced away from her. She watched, worried, as he tried to burn the energy off by moving up and down the length of the room, patrolling like a caged tiger.

He was a caged animal, as was she, but his hackles were up, and where she was funneling all of her emotion into anxiety, his was overflowing into anger now.

It made them dangerous.

It made them vulnerable to mistakes.

Slowly, he started to calm, though she could still see the emotion rippling under his skin and in his eyes.

He was calm enough that when the door opened unexpectedly, he didn’t bolt towards it. Instead, he turned, reaching out and pulling Peggy and Mandy behind him, shoulders tense and jaw set.

Masters, face lit with a saccharine smile and brown bags of food in his hands, walked in as if he didn’t notice Steve’s posturing. “Rogers, Carter,” he said gently, placing the brown bags on the floor by the door. “I saw Mr. Jarvis on the way in, thought I’d bring you your dinner myself tonight.”

“How kind,” Peggy bit out from just behind Steve, looking past his bulk to the man.

Masters shoved his hands in his pockets, swaying a bit. “Well, you have to eat, right?” He took a few steps into the room, looking around. “I have to say, you’ve made this look quite…” he almost spit out the word, “homey.”

Steve’s voice was low and dangerous. “Someone won’t let us leave.”

Masters turned to Steve, smiling. “Oh, you can leave any time you like. As soon as you give me the girl.” Masters held his hands out, waiting for Peggy to put her in them. He lifted his eyebrows, smiling sarcastically. “No?”

“Why?” Peggy couldn’t help but ask.

Masters moved to get closer to her, but Steve kept himself between them, moving so Masters never had a clear line to Peggy and Mandy. After a few shuffling steps Masters gave up. “That’s a moot question, agent.” Masters huffed, trying to keep his façade friendly. He turned his attention to Steve. “What would you do, Rogers, to end this?”

Peggy couldn’t see the spark in Steve’s eye at the question, but she could see how his shoulders tensed. “What do you mean?”

The corner of Master’s mouth lifted in a genuine smile. “I mean, what would you do?” Steve didn’t answer, but Masters continued. “The world is changing, Rogers. This war is going to be over soon and you’ll be out of a job. But I have plans, big plans. I need good men with me to make these things happen. You could be one of those men.”

Steve’s interest soured. “You wouldn’t know a good man if he was standing in front of you.”

“Fancy yourself above everyone else, huh?” Masters shot back, his mask dropping and his tone insistent. “You can stay here, you can give her to me, or you can work for me.” He took a deep breath and walked away, secure in his power over the situation. “If you want this happy little family, if you want to protect this happy little illusion you’ve built for yourself, that’s the easiest way.” Masters turned back to him. “You know, you might even like it.”

Peggy didn’t move, didn’t like what Masters was implying or how Steve seemed to actually be thinking about it. After long moments, with only silence filing the air, Masters turned back to the doors.

“Think about it.”

~*~

* * *

Steve didn’t talk through dinner, didn’t talk as he brought Mandy in the bathroom to wash her off and change her diaper, didn’t utter a word as he fed her before bed.

Peggy, finally, couldn’t take anymore. “Out with it,” she demanded, taking him by both shoulders and sitting him on the bed, crossing her arms over her chest.

He looked up at her, surprised.

Peggy clicked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “Like I haven’t watched you stalk around this room all day.” She bent forward. “Talk.” She straightened, waiting as he sank in front of her, his bravado falling away.

Steve lifted his hands, swirling them in front of his face like he could pull the words from thin air. He dropped them to his sides ineffectually, looking up at her, defeated. “What do you want me to say?”

Peggy let her hands fall, dropping to her knees and letting her hands rest on his thighs. “I can’t read your mind.” She looked him over, one hand running over his shoulders which were still stiff with stress. “I’m as outraged and frustrated as you. But you’ve been walking around like you’re going to explode.”

“I might, Peg.” He let the words fall from his lips as he took her hand in his. “I’m exhausted. I’m so tired of pretending so many things. No time to breathe, to rest, to be happy.” He took a deep breath, looking away from her eyes. “I’m ashamed to say, I thought about what he said.”

She squeezed his hand. “What do you mean?”

He turned back, his eyes blazing. “I would do anything, _anything_ , to keep you two safe. And yet…” He leaned back, letting his free hand gesture to the room. “What the fuck am I doing, Peg? Nothing. Not a damn thing.” His hand fell to his lap with a thud, his head hanging. “I’m not doing a fucking thing to keep you safe.”

“Oh, there’s that shooting at torpedoes again,” she murmured, reaching her hand up to cradle his chin.

He lets his hand come over hers, tipping his head to catch her eyes, his voice soft. “I haven’t kept you safe. I failed.”

“We’re both still here, aren’t we?” Peggy asked, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. “We’re in a sticky spot, I’ll give you that, but we’ve both decided, together, on our course of action.”

“But I—”

Peggy shifted her hand from under his, moving her fingers to stop his lips. “I’ll have none of that, you hear me.” He nodded, still looking somewhat lost.

He took her wrist in his hand, pulling her fingers away to kiss them gently before taking her hand in both of his. “I keep hearing his words in my head, you know?” He played gently with her fingers, thumb running over her empty ring finger mournfully. “What would I do to end this?” He sighed, looking at her. “Anything. I’d do anything to end this.”

“And that’s right where he wants you.” Peggy’s harsh tone took him by surprise. “Don’t you see that?” At his quizzical look she continued, tightening her own grip on his hand. “Desperate. He wants you desperate enough to do something stupid.” She slipped her hands from his and framed his face with them, rising up to kiss his forehead as she stood. “I love that you want to protect us, to protect me, but either of us is capable of taking one of those guns and marching out of here. Maybe worse for the wear, but either of us could do it. Both of us together? Easy.” She smiled sadly at him. “If we didn’t have her, if there weren’t consequences that we didn’t understand, it would be easy to march out of here and never look back.”

“God, I want to do that,” he nuzzled into her hands.

“Four days,” Peggy whispered, trying not to think about the knot in her stomach at the prospect. “In four days if we don’t have an answer, we pick up those guns and we go. The three of us. But for now, we wait. And waiting is far harder than any action.”

Steve spread his knees and pulled Peggy close to him, wrapping her in his arms and burying his nose against her stomach. “How?”

“How is staying harder?” She asked, running her hands through his hair as she held him close.

“How did you know exactly what I needed to hear?”

Peggy leaned back, letting her fingers run through the hairs at the nape of his neck as she smiled at him. “I’m your wife.” She kissed him softly, enjoying indulging now that they knew no one was watching them. “I don’t want to hear any more about Masters’ offer. Understood?”

He pulled her down to rest on his knee, slipping his arms around her waist. “Yes, ma’am.”


	20. Good News and Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With only three days left before they take matter in their own hands, Steve and Peggy have a visitor that throws everything into question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things continue to move along. I’ve officially hit the black hole of plot, and I’m going to work hard to keep cranking out a chapter a week. We’re getting close to the end, folks. Probably 5-10 chapters to go at this point. Thanks for being on this INSANE ride with me.

The next morning, Peggy arranged the nightdress and diaper over the rail to dry. Amanda had been fussy all night, and one very messy blow out later they knew why. Peggy wondered if she was finally starting to feel the stress and anxiety they tried so desperately to hide from her. Three days, she thought to herself, as she arranged the things on the rail, three days before they stopped waiting and took some action.

Steve had her in the bathroom now, soaking in the sink full of warm water, the closest to a bath as they could get. Peggy was not going to deal with her in the shower again. She had half a mind to ask Rose for a tub for her, but she kept repeating to herself that they’d be gone soon, no matter what.

She was expecting Rose’s warm face when she heard the door start to click open, but was surprised to find the crisp, white silhouette of a nurse instead.

“Can I help you?” Peggy asked, her teeth on edge.

The nurse turned, leaning back on the doors and smiling. It wasn’t a nurse, but Ida Emke in a nurse’s uniform. “Oh, you know you can.”

“Peg?” Steve’s voice carried through the door to the small bathroom.

“Don’t you dare come out,” Peggy called back, not taking her eyes off Ida. “What do you want?”

Ida slipped a large, full syringe from her pocket, priming it. “Why do you ask such silly questions?”

“Just passing the time,” Peggy replied, eyeing her hand as she moved closer. “What happened to you after the ship?”

“You got me in trouble, Peg. Tsk tsk,” she mocked, moving closer. “I’m not going to fail again.”

With a quick spin Peggy grabbed the empty bassinet and used her momentum to hurl it into Emke’s face, knocking her off balance. It was enough of a distraction to allow Peggy to pin her to the door, pushing the syringe from her hand to fall to the floor.

“Peg?” Steve’s voice floated from the bathroom, concerned.

“Busy darling!” She yelled back as Emke swept her legs out from under her. Peggy kept her grip and toppled Ida with her as she went down, both grunting with the force of hitting the floor.

Ida struggled and rolled them until she was on top. “Maybe you should let him out. I bet he likes to watch,” she insinuated, licking Peggy from chin to ear.

Peggy fought to keep her concentration despite cringing at the wet trail left on her cheek, slipping her knee between them and pushing hard to catapult Ida from on top of her. The crash of Emke hitting the metal table was cacophonous.

“I’m coming out there!” Steve yelled.

Peggy picked up a stray undershirt that had fallen during the crash and attempted to wrap it around Ida’s neck, but she’d gotten her hand up quick enough to keep it from wrapping all the way around. “Under no circumstances!” Peggy called, struggling to subdue Ida.

“Come out, come out, where ever you are!” Ida called, the sing-song of her voice broken by the effort it took to try to push her hand into the shirt and keep Peggy from choking her as she scrambled to move herself away from Peggy.

Even though she tried to keep Ida down, Ida was able to slip under the shirt. She crawled across the floor to where the syringe was, palming it again as Peggy caught up with her. Peggy threw her weight across Ida’s hips and brought her down to the floor. The two women grappled, Peggy grabbing at the syringe and staying carefully away from the tip. “Give me that baby!” Ida shrieked. Peggy pushed her hand into her face, fingers putting pressure on her eyes and causing Ida to buck her hips to get away from her.

Peggy managed to get the syringe away from her once again, tossing it as far across the room as she could as she scrambled after Ida, who was now on her feet and close to the bathroom door. Amanda’s cries were seeping through the cracks, adding to the riotous sound of grunts and yells as Peggy grabbed Ida by the waist and hauled her back off her heels, pitching her to the floor once again and away from the bathroom.

Peggy towered over her, feet set wide, hair wild, eyes dangerous. “You’re not touching a hair on her head.”

Ida slowly pushed to her feet, jaw set. “I’m not failing again.”

“Well, you’re not going to win.” Peggy took a slow step forward, her right hand curling into a fist.

Ida swung first, right hand aimed at Peggy’s jaw. She dodged it easily, sending her arm up just below Ida’s ribs and knocking the breath out of her. Ida slid to the left, feigning more pain than she was in and tried to use the position to sweep Peggy’s legs from under her, but Peggy held steady, tangling her leg between Ida’s, deftly flipping her over her hip and back on the floor.

Peggy pressed her foot onto Ida’s chest, digging her high heel into the space between two ribs. “Tell me why I shouldn’t just push a little harder?”

There was something akin to respect in Ida’s eyes, tinged with excitement and enjoyment. “Because I don’t think you’re a killer,” she said, working hard to keep the words even despite her labored breathing as she wrapped her hands around Peggy’s ankle.

“Peg?” Steve’s voice was concerned and frustrated, Mandy’s cries making him desperate.

“Stay in there!” She yelled, keeping her eyes trained on Ida.

“You can’t keep this up for long,” Emke taunted, eyes sparkling.

Peggy’s eyes narrowed as she pressed just a little harder. “Try me.”

Ida smiled, “Don’t mind if I do.” With more force than Peggy was prepared for, Ida pulled at her ankle and rolled, sending Peggy sprawling.

The door crashed open as they rolled on the floor, Rose poised with a gun in her hands aimed at them and Howard next to her. “Freeze!” Rose yelled.

Ida slowly made her way to her feet, hands up in the air. “Fuck,” she muttered, just before crouching low and running shoulder first into Howard’s stomach, knocking him into Rose and giving her a clear line out the door.

Peggy started to give chase, but stopped halfway down the hall when Emke jumped out of an open window, tucking and rolling in the grass below before moving off quickly, limping.

Steve trotted behind her, stopping when he saw her staring out the window. “Peg?”

She turned to look at him, breath still coming hard and heavy. “I’ve lost her.”

Steve moved close, dipping his head to try to catch her eyes . “We’ll get her, I promise. Are you ok?” He moved his hand up to her cheek, gently pressing his thumb against her split lip and caressing what looked to be quite the bruise forming on her left cheekbone.

Peggy nodded, moving past him and away from the temptation to melt in his arms. She slipped back into their room, their open doored prison, and sank heavily on a chair. Howard was holding Amanda, who, though still whimpering with tear tracks on her face, seemed endlessly fascinated with his mustache.

“Please, take her back,” Howard muttered, holding the baby out to Peggy though she had her hand fisted in the small hairs below his nose. “I’m not cut out for kids.” Peggy chuckled, still dazed, but took Mandy into her arms and cuddled her close. “What the hell happened, Peg?”

“She slipped in dressed as a nurse.” Peggy gestured by the bed, “Had that syringe in her hand. I assume she was planning on drugging or killing us.” Peggy let her head rest against Mandy’s. “But we aren’t letting that happen,” she whispered softly, “Not at all.”

Steve moved silently into the room, standing behind her and letting his hands rest on her shoulders. He leaned down, kissing the crown of Peggy’s head. “You’re safe, that’s all the matters.”

Peggy kissed Mandy’s cheek, nuzzling her with her nose as the girl’s sniffles subsided. “She’s safe.”

“Well, I don’t know how long that’ll last, now.” Howard looked over at Rose then back at them, moving into the room. Howard was fidgeting, fussy. “Look, I’ve got good news and bad news.”

Steve wrapped his arms around Peggy as she stood. “Bad news first.”

Howard frowned, closing the door and giving them some illusion of safety and privacy. “I don’t think Phillips is going to be able to do anything.”

Peggy looked over Mandy’s head at him, eyes wide with surprise. She’d been counting on Phillips and he’d never let her down before. “Why not?””

“Well, that’s the good news.” Howard shrugged, a small smile on his face. “They were able to get Schmidt.” He sat on their bed, hands on his knees. “The Commandos raided his last stronghold last night, the report just got wired in. He escaped on some kind of jet, but they scrambled the 101st Airborne and they shot him down off the coast of Greenland. There’s a recovery mission happening in Greenland, and the SSR is gathering intel from the base as we speak.”

Steve stepped away from Peggy and Mandy, shoulders back and head tall, a smile threatening to form on his face. “They got Schmidt?”

Howard smiled, the feeling of victory low in his belly. “We got Schmidt.”

“I suppose that’s a very good reason for Phillips to be busy.” The happiness was contagious and Peggy began to sway, unsure of what to do with herself. “Without Hydra’s weapons…”

“…the rest of the Axis Powers won’t be far behind.” Steve finished, the smile finally forming.

Mandy, who had no idea what was going on, could still feel the excitement around her. She cooed and gurgled in happiness, clapping both hands on Peggy’s cheeks.

~*~

* * *

Masters looked at the phone he’d just hung up. Schmidt and that damn Valkyrie of his were MIA, and Hydra was fast falling apart at the seams. He’d gotten word of a breach at the facility where the little Rogers clan was being held, and he knew just who was responsible for yet another botched attempt.

He was running out of chances. He needed to make his move soon.

~*~

* * *

Steve was pacing, Mandy in his arms and trying to shove her small bear into the collar of his shirt as he moved. “We should leave today.”

“You leave today you tip them off,” Howard countered from where he was leaning near the hole in the wall that had once been the two-way mirror.

“We can’t stay,” Steve bent down and picked the bear up from the floor, rubbing it against his pants before he handed it back to Mandy. “Emke got in here without anyone seeing her.”

“Or so they’re saying,” Peggy chimed in, walking over and picking it up once again after Mandy dropped it purposefully this time, smiling at the new game as she handed it back. “We know Masters has conspirators here.”

“Not everyone agrees with him.” Rose was dour, leaning against the doorjamb. “I know for a fact Phillips received the packet.”

“That means nothing right now,” Steve countered, catching the bear before it hit the ground again. He looked back and forth between Mandy and the bear before shoving it in the collar of his shirt, occupying her as she tried and failed to pull it out as he talked. “We don’t know if he can or will do anything and there’s danger right here, right now.”

“Phillips typically has a response to papers in less than a week.” Rose lifted her finger as she counted to herself. “Two. You should only have to wait two more days. The longest I ever had to wait would mean you’ve got two more days.”

Steve shot Peggy a look, and to that she only mouthed the number three at him with a raise of her eyebrows. He turned back to Rose. “That’s _if_ he manages to be timely.”

“That’s without him being timely. We usually receive some sort of cable or coded message the next day.” Rose started pacing, as well. “It’s actually very unlike him to be so unresponsive.”

“This could be the best place for you right now, Steve,” Howard continued. “In order to avoid suspicion they’ll have to bump up security. If you leave, they could use the attack as cause to start an all-out manhunt for you disguised as a rescue operation.”

Mandy managed to pull the small bear from his collar, and in the process almost pitched herself backwards out of his grasp. Steve juggled her and pulled her close, looking down at her as she held the bear up to his face, triumphant. Her squeal of joy melted his heart and his resolve as she happily tossed the bear to the floor once more. “Fine,” he relented, eyes firmly on Mandy. “Two more days.”

“But we’ll need more than just a locked door and one held closed with a chair and a prayer,” Peggy insisted, once again picking up the bear from the floor where Mandy pitched it. “A guard. Someone we trust.”

“I can stay for now, though I’m not much help in a fire fight,” Howard shrugged and pushed off the wall, pacing. “Jarvis won’t mind taking a watch, I’m sure, and he’s been working on his Judo, so that’s something.”

Peggy lifted her eyebrow at him, but said nothing. Howard shrugged. “I said it was something. Didn’t say what _kind_ of something.”

Rose smiled. “I know an agent. He’s just come back from a tour. He’s trustworthy. And a great shot.”

Steve finally set Mandy down on the quilt, rolling her on her back and letting her fling the bear around where it wouldn’t go far. He looked up at Rose, eyes tired. “I’ll take anyone we can get.”

~*~

* * *

Howard set himself in front of the door, taking his guarding duty seriously.

“You know, you can talk to us.” Peggy lifted another of her dresses and smoothed it out on the metal table, folding it to be put back in the suitcase. She was slowly cleaning up the mess she and Emke had made as Steve tried to teach Amanda how peek-a-boo was played.

Howard didn’t look back at her. “Guarding the door is a serious job, Peg. I take it seriously.”

Steve held the burp cloth over Mandy’s eyes, moving it quickly and smiling as she giggled riotously. “And what are you going to do if someone shows up?”

Howard looked over at Steve for a moment, pressed his mouth to a line, then looked back at the doors. “Yell really loud.”

Steve and Peggy both looked at one another, smiling. For all that was wrong, knowing they had friends who were willing to help was a balm to the chaos.

~*~

* * *

Howard eventually turned his chair, eyes still on the door but able to see Steve and Peggy better. “What do you guys do here?”

“Worry.” Steve supplied quickly.

“Pace,” Peggy added, laying Mandy out on the table to changer her diaper.

Steve dramatically dropped to the floor, doing a few push-ups. “Exercise.”

“Change diapers.” Peggy held the dirty one out towards him dramatically, smiling when Howard wrinkled his nose.

Steve stood and took the soiled diaper from her, heading into the bathroom to wash it. “Worry more while telling Mandy a story.”

“Pace more while telling Mandy a story.” Peggy smoothed the girl’s dress down, smiling and tickling her.

“Wash out diapers while hiding anxiety.” Steve came out from the bathroom, drying his hands.

“Make a bottle while worrying.” Peggy looked pointedly at Steve, who took the cue and turned back to the bathroom to fill up a bottle.

Howard nodded, face grim as they rattled off what their days were like. They’d now spent more days in confinement than they had on the ship or on the run. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get you out of here.”

Peggy stopped, turning to him. “You’ve been doing your best, Howard.”

“Yeah, but this? This is a literal prison.” He shook his head, looking at the floor. “You guys were ready to run. I’m starting to think you were right all along.”

Steve moved over to the man, passing off the bottle of water to Peggy for her to fill it with powdered formula. He leaned against the door, folding his arms. “Maybe in the short term, but what about next month? Next year?” Steve’s gaze moved over Howard’s head and he pushed off the wall, moving to rescue Peggy where she was fighting to cap the bottle with one hand while Keeping Mandy from grabbing it and tipping it over. “We’re better off with friends,” Steve said taking Mandy and holding her high in the air as she cooed with happiness. “Even with enemies knocking at the door, we’re better off with friends.”

Howard sighed, bobbing his head on his shoulders, knowing Steve was right bot not liking his feeling of helplessness.

“Speaking of doors,” Peggy started, handing Steve the bottle and turning to Howard, fists on her hips. “You do know there is a second one, right? That staring at that one does not preclude someone from coming in the other one?”

Howard looked at her, his moth turning down and eyes growing defeated. “Well, shit.”

Peggy smiled, stepping over and patting him on the shoulder. “Good thing there’s three of us.”


	21. Three, Two, One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days tick away, getting closer to a resolution or a revolution...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for being on this journey with me. More at the end.

Jarvis relieved Howard a few hours later, just as the evening fell. He brought with him broiled salmon and rice and a knack for sparkling conversation that managed to distract them as long as dinner lasted.

It didn’t hurt that Mandy was endlessly fascinated with him, trying to untie his tie and shove it in his mouth as he talked, though Jarvis insisted the girl stay on his lap so Steve and Peggy could both eat while the food was hot.

“While I have my own ideas,” Jarvis gently batted away his tie again to Mandy’s delight, “I feel you both are in a much better position to strategize. How should we do this?”

“Do what?” Peggy asked, shoving the last bit of fish in her mouth.

“Well, there are two doors, and one of me. While I am confident I can stay up all night, I’m sure you’ll want some privacy for your nightly rituals, of which you haven’t had of late.” Jarvis looked between both of them, “However guarding one door will leave the other inevitably vulnerable to attack.”

Peggy smiled, looking back and forth between Jarvis and Steve. “Well, one point for knowing there are two doors.”

Steve filled his friend in at his quizzical look. “Howard sat here most of the day just staring at that door- he forgot there was a second.”

Jarvis nodded, unsurprised. “Ah. Mr. Stark is loyal, but nothing if a bit forgetful. One wonders how he manages.”

“You, I suspect,” Peggy finished, standing and returning the empty dishes to the bag to be brought back by Jarvis.

“Be that as it may,” Jarvis said the words to Mandy, smiling at her as she tried to gently choke him by pulling on the tie with all her might, “I still would like a plan of action.”

Steve pulled Mandy from his lap, gently detangling her fingers from his tie as Jarvis’s last word came out strangled. “We don’t want to strangle Jarvis, honey, ok? We like Jarvis.” He whispered the words at her, getting nose to nose with her and smiling as she giggled back at him.

“Oh, I’m perfectly all right.” Jarvis smiled and set his tie back to rights.

“I suppose the main door is our best bet,” Peggy muttered, folding over the top of the brown bag and putting her hands on her hips. She looked back and forth between the door and the hole where the two-way mirror had been. “The chair is still wedged in there, we’ll at least get an audible warning before they come through that way.”

“I’ll stay up, too,” Steve supplied. He didn’t have to turn away from Mandy to know the aggravated look Peggy was giving him. “Mandy, tell your mama that it’s the only solution that makes sense and she knows that.”

Peggy moved swiftly around the table, lifting Mandy from his arms and cuddling her close, wiping drool from her chin. “And you can tell your father, my dear, that is a horrible idea.”

Jarvis stood, feeling the tension between them start to grow, despite the sweet tones they were using. He reached into his pocket, pulling a small, brown crocheted dog from his inner coat pocket. “Perhaps,” he gently interrupted, bouncing the puppy in front of Mandy, “The young miss and I should take a little meander around the room while you two talk this out?”

Mandy willingly went to his arms and he walked away, making silly barking noises that made her giggle. He couldn’t go far, but the other side of the room was far enough to give Peggy and Steve at least some privacy to discuss the night.

Her lips were pressed tight when she turned to him. “You can’t stay up all night.”

“I can, I have, and I will, Peg,” he asserted, setting his hands on his thighs.

She let her hand lean on the back of his chair, looming over him. “We need to be rested, and ready. Ida’s already shown up once, and if Hydra’s collapsing in on itself without Schmidt, Masters is going to be desperate…”

Steve stood, pressing into her space and whispering fiercely. “Which is exactly why you need to sleep, I need to stay awake.”

“Explain yourself.” Peggy crossed her arms across her chest, as she had so often done during their strategy meetings in Europe, and waited for him to lay it out for her. “I can’t see how you being exhausted tomorrow helps us.”

He sighed, leaning forward, dropping his voice even more. “We have Jarvis tonight. As much as I trust him, and as good as his Judo may be, you and I both know he isn’t a match for Emke or anyone else they might send. If they’re going to catch us unaware, they’re going to try tonight. But come tomorrow morning, Rose is bringing us a fully trained SSR agent to guard that door, and Howard will be here. While the both of them are here I can catch a few hours and then we’ll be ready for anything.”

Peggy just stared at him, arms folded tight. “Well?” Steve asked, hoping to get her approval or rebuttal.

She just gently toppled, leaning into his chest before slowly wrapping her arms around his waist. “You’re right,” she whispered, holding on to him.

“Peg?” He held her tight, rocking gently, concerned.

“I should have thought about that. I should have seen that,” she murmured into his chest, turning her head away from the side of the room Jarvis was on. Steve felt the moment her first tear soaked through his shirt. “I feel like my brain is so foggy. I should have thought of that.”

Steve rocked her gently, reaching up and wiping the tear from her cheek. “We’re stretched thin, this has been going on too long.”

“No worse than the war,” she countered, frustrated at herself.

“But more intense. More immediate. Less back-up. No rest.” He sighed, holding her close, tucking her head under his chin. “Two days.”

She took a few long moments, catching her breath and holding tight around his waist. “Sounds silly after all this,” she finally said, turning to watch Jarvis bouncing the dog just out of Mandy’s reach, “but I don’t know if I can hold out that long.”

Steve kissed the crown of her head, holding her tight. “I know. But we’ll do what we have to.”

“We will.”

~*~

* * *

Jarvis, it turned out, was quite adept with Mandy, and enjoyed sitting on the floor, playing with her. It was a much-needed respite for Steve and Peggy, to be able to watch her have fun, to let their brains wander from her minute to minute needs.

The mental fatigue Peggy was feeling waned some, knowing her daughter was close and in good hands and knowing Steve was as vigilant as ever. Peggy was content to sit and watch them for what felt like hours, to let someone else take on the guard duty.

It occurred to her that she might feel fuzzy from a concussion, and that she probably _shouldn’t_ go to sleep tonight. Peggy carefully reached up, touching her tender cheekbone.

Steve walked past her, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder as he prepared a nighttime bottle for Mandy. “You know, you could have a concussion.”

“I was just thinking that,” she muttered, “But I don’t remember hitting my head.”

“Based on the amount of damage the two of you did to this room, I don’t see how you avoided it.” He shook the bottle in his hands, leaning down to kiss her bruised cheek. “Besides, a shiner like that means you got hit good enough to make you a little fuzzy.”

He walked away and towards Jarvis and Mandy, shaking the bottle and chatting with them both as she watched him feed the baby. It was so jarringly domestic, like a scene out of a movie or in a friends house that she might have visited before the war. It hit her, right in the chest, and she was convinced she must have had a concussion because she’d never felt so emotional about watching a man hold a baby, cuddle it, feed it, while talking about Judo with another gentleman. There was simply no other explanation for the way the emotion swelled within her, making her feel both unbelievably happy and absolutely terrified at potentially losing this little family.

The very notion that she could have this, that this could be her life, hit her like a tidal wave. She felt warm and happy and overwhelmed, all at once. If they got through the next two days this could be hers. A little house, a little apartment, with that man, and that girl, and little domestic moments that she never, ever thought she’d want.

It seemed too good to be true, yet it was right here, before her, close enough to touch.

Peggy stood, quickly enough that the boys looked at her, worry in Steve’s eyes. She smiled, hoping it would placate him. “With both of you boys here we should be safe enough, thought I’d get a quick shower in.”

Steve nodded, and Jarvis gave her leave in his typical fashion though she didn’t listen as she scooped up new clothes and disappeared into the tiny bathroom.

With the door shut their voices were dulled to only deep timbers, low hums that made her feel protected. She quickly turned the shower on, thankful the sound of the water would hide her gasps for breath as she tried to control the emotions that were racing through her.

By the time the water ran cold she found herself more centered and less foggy, but with a budding headache. Still, she felt far more ready to deal with anything coming at them.

Two days, she thought as she dried herself. She pulled on the dress, thinking that soon enough she’d be able to wear night dresses to bed again and that seemed like a decadent luxury.

Two days.

~*~

* * *

By the time Mandy was asleep in her bassinet and Jarvis was settled out in the hallway guarding the front door, Peggy felt like she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She sat on the side of the bed, bare footed, staring at the bassinet.

“What are you waiting for?” Steve asked, dragging a chair over next to the bed.

“I don’t know.” She looked back at him and held out a hand, waiting for him to take it. He laced his fingers with her, squeezing lightly. “Anxious, I guess, because you’re right. If they’re going to try anything, tonight’s the night.”

Steve leaned over, gently pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m not letting anything happen to either of you.” He let his lips linger, shifting over her skin as he spoke. “I’ll be right here.”

“Two days,” she whispered, leaning into his shoulder.

Steve leaned back over her, moving the blanket out of the way and gently settling her in the bed, tucking her and the bassinet in tight. “It’s about to be one,” he said softly, kissing her gently on the lips. He walked away, eyes on hers, and flipped the lights off.

She heard him move in the darkness, whispers of sound that would otherwise be undetectable except she knew to listen for them. The creek of him sitting in the chair was louder, but still barely there.

She held out her hand in the darkness, knowing he’d see it.

His palm was in hers immediately, holding tight.

Her head was pounding, and the bruise on her cheek was throbbing when she leaned on it, but she was going to try, at least, to sleep.

~*~

* * *

Rose smiled brightly, waiting for them to react.

Agent Daniel Sousa leaned heavily on his crutch, putting less weight on his left leg than his right. He stood as tall as he could and saluted crisply. “Captain Rogers, sir, it’s an honor.”

Steve saluted back, though slightly uneasy. “At ease, Agent Sousa.”

“I was part of the battalion you saved at Volgograd,” Sousa continued, “You saved my life.”

Steve nodded, grim, “I’m glad I could be of service.”

“Nothing could stop the gangrene,” Daniel bounced his head sadly, pointing at his left leg, but he smiled up at them as he babbled on, “but I met some really nice nurses.”

Peggy moved around the room, calming a cranky Mandy who was pulling at Peggy’s curls, her eyes on the man. “Glad to see you’ve found a bright side to it.”

“Lost a leg, can’t lose my sense of humor, too.” Sousa smiled at them. “Honestly, I’m still a good shot, and what I lack in speed I can make up for in hitting ability.” He pushed off the crutch, swinging it in the air in front of him.

“What’s your batting average?” Steve asked, a small smile ready to break out on his face.

“Well, I haven’t had to use it that often, just a bum who tried to steal my wallet, but I laid him out pretty good.”

Peggy watched the men chuckle. She wasn’t sold, but wouldn’t discount the man. The group that had come from Volgograd had been some of their best men.

“Just getting the chance to meet you, really meet you, and say thank you…”

Steve held up a hand, stopping Sousa. He shook his head, moving on. “Did Rose fill you in?”

“Most of it, I think,” Sousa said, looking back at the woman.

Rose clasped her hands, nodding. “Everything I knew, anyway.”

“Well then, that’s more than enough,” Peggy replied, switching Mandy to her other arm which made the girl whine again.

“Like I said, I’m a good shot,” Sousa supplied, standing taller. “I don’t do much these days but sit in the bull pen, anyway, so if I can sit somewhere and be of use, I’m happy to do it.”

Steve shook Sousa’s hand, smiling. “Welcome aboard, we’ll take any help we can get.”

~*~

* * *

They spent the morning passing her between them. She cried pitifully when they put her down, and whimpered sadly in their arms.

Peggy once had the audacity to sneeze, and Amanda sobbed inconsolably for fifteen minutes straight.

By the time Howard arrived, Peggy was at her wits end. “Please, you _must_ have some idea.”

He looked at her and the red-faced child in Peggy’s arms, tears slipping from her eyes, and frowned. “PhD’s, Peg, not MD’s.” He sighed and looked at Steve. “I hate to beat a dead horse, but Dr. Wright…”

“Absolutely not,” Peggy paced away, cradling the girl close.

“Peg, she’s suffering,” Steve argued, moving around Howard and forcing her to look at him. “If I thought there was any other choice—”

“You, too, Steve?” She asked fiercely, cradling the babe’s head as she started to cry again. “You of all people…”

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Sousa slowly opened it, revealing Wright next to him, Rose just beyond them.

Peggy huffed, turning away but Steve turned her back.

Wright held up his hands as he entered the room, Sousa following behind as Rose took his place at the door. “I know I’m not exactly wanted,” the man said gently, hands high, one empty and one holding a small doctor’s bag, “but I can try to help.”

“Some help you’ve been,” Peggy muttered, passing Mandy off to Steve and pacing away and back. “I’ve no reason to believe you’ll be of any help now.”

Steve, who was used to the man, had his own mixed feelings, but didn’t voice them as he brought Mandy over to the metal table Howard had cleared. He laid Mandy down and stared at Wright as the man came over. Wright, to his credit, looked somewhat repentant. He slowly and gently looked over the crying girl, flanked by Steve and Howard with Peggy pacing behind them, Sousa guarding the door, hand on his gun.

After a thorough investigation that somehow happened without the needles, Wright handed her back to Steve. He set her to rights in his arms, holding her close as she whimpered.

“Colic,” Wright declared, putting his instruments back in his bag. “Not a thing wrong with her I can see.”

“So, what do we do?” Steve asked, bouncing as she wailed in his ear.

“Walk with her, feed her, talk to her… that’s all you can do.” Wright lifted his bag, holding it tight. “Quite frankly, I’m surprised it took this long to present, this is a stressful environment.”

Peggy’s voice was dark and sarcastic, “You’ve been a great help in that way.”

The man moved quickly to the exit. He stopped at the door, despite Sousa trying to move him through. He turned, meeting their dark looks. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t agree with it.” He cleared his throat and clarified. “The tests. They shouldn’t have—"

Steve cut him off, in perpetual motion to calm the girl on his shoulder. “But you did.”

Wright nodded, looking at the floor and then back up. “And I’ll have to live with that, I suppose.”

The three watched as Sousa showed him out, silently taking his station up at the door before shutting it tightly behind him.

Peggy finally turned when she was sure the man wasn’t coming back, letting a hand fall on Amanda’s back, rubbing gently. “Poor darling,” she whispered, lip finding its way between her teeth as she tried to think of the best way to help.

Howard sighed, sitting on an errant chair as Steve started to pace. “What a time for her to decide she’s unhappy.”

“Yes, well,” Peggy sighed, “puts a damper on a quiet escape if it comes to it.”

Steve kept moving, the cries down to whimpers as he cradled her head close and whispered shushing noises to her. “One day left, Peg. By tomorrow night…”

“If she’s still crowing by tomorrow night we should slip you out once she’s sleeping,” Howard supplied. “She has to go to sleep at some point, doesn’t she?”

Peggy raised her eyebrows, thinking back to the first day where she didn’t even have a name yet and was barely able to sleep more than five minutes at a time. “Hopefully.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were hoping for some Daniel-Bashing, this isn't the fic for that. For all the negatives to his character, I see a lot of GOOD things in him, too, and I wanted to explore that, a bit.


	22. The Hill You Die On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety is high as the time for action nears, but the choice to stay or leave is taken out of Steve and Peggy’s hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, since it pops up twice, current date is April 8, 1945. For those of you who are sticklers for canon, I have found conflicting information for when the Valkyrie was supposed to have gone down, so I’m making my own time line up. 
> 
> Also, this is it. Parts of this chapter have been written FOREVER. Three more chapters to go. Thank you all for being on this journey with me. You’re amazing.

She could still smell the brown hair dye, but she hadn’t had time to give her hair another rinse, so it would have to do. She’d managed to hide the pieces she hadn’t been able to curl and set properly under her hat, and she looked presentable enough. She fidgeted her hands in her lap on purpose, biting her lip like she’d practiced so often.

Sore ankle or not, failed mission or not, she needed to move on. Her contact had told her to stay low and quiet, Hydra was falling and so was Masters. If she wanted any hope of having a future in the company, of being a part of taking the SSR down, she needed to blend in for now.

She could have picked any one of a dozen identities she had in her head, but young, lost girl was an easy role to play for these savior types.

“Miss Underwood, what makes you think The Griffith is the right place for you?”

Ida, now Dottie Underwood, smiled shyly at the elderly woman, playing with the hem on her dress. “Oh, why, I just know a woman like yourself runs a safe place, I can tell. You remind me of my mama.”

Mrs. Fry smiled at her, taking the bait hook, line, and sinker. “Well, in a city filled with filth and debauchery at every turn, a young and proper woman needs a haven.”

“And I can just tell that’s what The Griffith is,” Dottie flattered. “I know I have a lot to learn, but I’m hoping that this can be a place to start.”

Mrs. Fry enjoyed having her ego stroked, and it showed. The woman hardened for a moment, looking Dottie up and down. “I’m sure you understand that the rent, and being on time with it, is non-negotiable, as are the rules of this establishment.”

“Oh, of course!” Dottie reached down, flipping open the purse she’d stollen and pulling out a stack of bills she’d acquired by less than legal means. “I can pay in cash right now if that helps.”

Mrs. Fry smiled at her. Money, as they said, talked.

And it bought Dottie a wonderful cover right out in the open.

~*~

* * *

Being on her stomach calmed Mandy somewhat, and Steve spent the majority of the morning on the quilt on the floor with her, telling Winnie the Pooh stories with the knit animals (though he did explain that Eeyore was a donkey and not a dog far too many times considering that Mandy would never, ever remember or even understand what he said) and generally tried to keep her entertained.

Steve was explaining how the game Pooh Sticks worked when Howard finally tore his eyes away from the spectacle that was the world’s strongest and potentially most dangerous man, laying on the floor, playing with knit animals, and turned to Peggy. “You should pack.”

Peggy, who had been passing time by folding and re-folding Mandy’s dresses, looked up at him. “Why? According to anyone but us, we’re staying here indefinitely.”

Howard pulled his chair closer. He was doing a horrible job at being a lookout and had given up hours ago, knowing he was here more for moral support at this point with Sousa outside than anything. “If you two have to skedaddle quick, or if you have to fight your way out of here, you aren’t going to have time to grab anything. And I mean,” he looked significantly towards the bottles and then down to the little knit animals that seemed to be dancing in a parade, “ _anything_.”

Peggy nodded, “True, but I shouldn’t think some clothes and a few baby items will be hard to find.”

“They won’t be, but they’ll damn well be looking for you anywhere you can buy that stuff for miles.” Howard sighed. “I’m telling you, I should have listened to you guys the first time. If you’re going to have to run, you’re going to have to go far and fast, and you won’t be able to stop for things like formula and diapers, and I’m sure Steve’s got only so many undershirts left.”

“Two,” Steve said from the floor, turning his attention to them. Though they’d been talking quietly, it wasn’t hard for Steve to overhear. “I literally have only two left.”

Mandy’s giggle seemed well timed, as if she could tell what they were talking about and found it hilarious that he’d sacrificed so many shirts to the cause of her diapers. She pushed up on to her arms and smiled for the first time all day as Steve turned back to her. They spent long minutes making faces at one another, Mandy trying to copy his faces but failing miserably, happy to giggle at Steve’s antics.

Peggy sighed. “You’re right.”

Howard chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “When am I not?”

Peggy looked sharply at him as she stood, moving toward the metal table that had become their all-purpose area. She pulled both suitcases they had up and started sorting through their things.

Most of their clothes needed to be washed, and badly. She’d worn the couple of dresses she had to the point where the only one that was still wearable was the one she had on. Baby drool didn’t so much stain as crust over, and baby vomit absolutely did stain when not washed out quick enough. There was also a ripe smell starting to waft from the clothes; they were perspiring more from stress than heat, and it was starting to become noticeable.

It had been seventeen days since she’d first laid eyes on the girl that changed her life. It gave her an odd feeling inside to think her life had changed so profoundly in such a short period of time, and yet she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

She shuddered to think where Steve might be right now had he gone with the Commandos on their mission to find Schmidt, where she might be. For all the danger around them, they were much safer here than they could have been nearly anywhere on the front.

Peggy started to pull clothes out and sort them. She tried to make even piles, tried to pull the clean things to the top and stuff the things that were starting to smell musty to the bottom. Steve’s socks, she discovered quite by accident, were the perpetrator of nearly all the worst odors she was finding. Considering it had been seventeen days and she only found three well-worn pairs, she could see why.

She moved on to Mandy’s pile, small a neat, sorting dresses out by size and only packing the largest of them. Howard was right: they’d be easy to spot buying clothes and formula, but there was only so far the supply they had would take them.

She looked over at the neat but small collection of bottles and jars of formula and wondered how far they could stretch what they had if it came down to it.

~*~

* * *

Peggy felt pangs of anxiety slowly tendril through her all morning. It lasted well after Howard left with one of their suitcases and all through lunch. It kept creeping up her spine as she played with Mandy on the quilt on the floor and while she made her way through her daily workout routine.

It didn’t retreat as she set Mandy down for her nap, the hairs on her arms raising not from any chill in the air, but from the fear that coiled in the base of her spine as she watched the girl sleep. Peggy fussed with the blanket in the bassinet, tucking it around her, thinking maybe she should tuck her in tight so they could grab the whole bassinet if they had to leave at a moment’s notice. Then she pulled the blanket out, thinking that maybe it would better if they could scoop her up and run without the encumbrance of the bassinet.

Before she could tuck the blanket back in again, Steve’s arms wrapped around her from behind, gently pulling the blanket from her hands and backing her away. He didn’t stop them until he was sitting in the room’s only chair with her on his knee, wrapped in his arms. “Peg?”

She licked her lips. She wasn’t afraid to tell him, wasn’t worried about voicing her fears and anxiety to him, but was rather afraid of saying them out loud, while Sousa was just outside the door and could hear, while anything could happen and it felt like saying it might just somehow make it a little closer to being true. She held his gaze, swallowed heavily, and just wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Slowly she laid her head under his chin, snuggling into his embrace.

Steve held her, his slow and even heartbeat under her ear calming her racing mind. She let her breath slow as his hand would itself in her hair, slowly stroking through the strands and over her neck.

“How long, Steve?” She asked suddenly, the worlds barely audible.

“Last day,” he murmured, kissing her forehead and squeezing her close. “If we don’t hear anything by tonight, we’re gone tomorrow.”

Her hands clutched at the fabric of his shirt, tightening and loosening like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to hold him close or push him away. “We should start planning…”

“I have plans.” He leaned back, lifting her chin and looking in her eyes. “You do, too.”

She could only smile. He knew her so well.

“What if they come in through the front door right now?” He asked softly. He didn’t need to explain who ‘they’ were, the omnipresent threat didn’t exactly need a face. He didn’t let her answer, just pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled softly at her. “You’re ready. We both are. We can figure out the specifics later. Just… just relax for a minute while she’s sleeping, ok?” He threaded his hand in her hair and gently guided her back under his chin, wrapping himself around her. “Just for a minute.”

~*~

* * *

When 5:30 came and went and Jarvis didn’t show up for the night shift, they knew something was wrong. Jarvis was never late.

Peggy lifted Mandy from where she was on the bed at 5:35 and began pacing, the scenarios rolling through her head. It didn’t pass her notice that Steve filled one of the glass bottles with dry formula and capped it tight, shoving it into one of his pockets. He filled the other with an empty bottle wrapped in an extra diaper cloth.

She shoved one of Mandy’s knit toys into the side of her bra, cursing her lack of pockets, and slipped a burp cloth over her shoulder, even though she didn’t need it.

Silently, the two worked to pack their pockets, to fit anything on them they could as the minutes ticked by without Jarvis coming in like an apologetic tornado and setting a table for their dinner. Peggy stopped, heart pounding when Steve knelt in front of her, sliding his hands under her skirt to fasten her thigh holster. She nodded at him solemnly as he did the fastenings, slipping her pistol in and securing it tight.

Having the gun on her made her feel a little more centered, a little more capable, even with the squirming girl in her arms. Amanda did not want to be held, and in fact would have preferred to be fed and sleeping. Peggy could feel the change of her weight in her arms- the girl was having another growth spurt, and the handful of dressing gowns in the bag she’d given to Howard might only last a week if they were lucky and if she grew like she did the last time.

They both jumped when Sousa poked his head in. The man smiled and held his hands up. “Just wanted to let you know I’m stepping away for a few minutes.” 

He was human, so of course he had to go to the bathroom, stretch his leg, change positions. They’d gotten used to him moving about through-out the day, but they’d always had someone else with them, and they’d never felt so on edge.

Steve let out a heavy breath and tried his best to smile at the man. “Of course.”

“I’m sure Mr. Jarvis is just late. Stuck in traffic.” Sousa wasn’t stupid, and knew they were wound up. “I can, I can wait a few more minutes, if you like?”

“No, go. We’ll be fine.” Steve nodded, his words more confident than he felt.

Sousa was reluctant to go, “Want me to bring you guys back anything from the machine in the lobby? Coffee?”

“A coffee would be great,” Steve responded quickly.

Sousa looked over at Peggy, but she shook her head. He turned back to the door, his face dour. “I’ll be fast.”

They both watched as he left. Peggy sighed as she switched Mandy to her other hip. “We’re that transparent, are we?”

“He’s a smart guy, Peg. He knows us well enough and he knows the situation.” Steve turned, moving back to the table and rolling up his pant leg, fastening all the diaper pins they had to the edge of his sock.

“Picked a hell of a time to use the loo.” Peggy shoved the last of Amanda’s knit animals into her bra. While it was the easiest solution to carrying them, it also left Mandy groping her to try to get them out. Peggy flipped the girl around, cradling her back to her chest so the girl couldn’t try grabbing down her shirt anymore to toss the toys on the floor. “If Jarvis is compromised, so are Howard and Ana.”

Steve looked up at her and rolled his pant leg down, hiding their stash of pins. He stood and held his hands out, smiling at his little girl, taking her from Peggy and lifting her high in the air. “When you gotta go, Peg, you gotta go.”

Peggy laughed without humor as she grabbed a handful of items from the bathroom and sat with them on the bed, straightening her bra and adjusting it to fit the bounty it now held. “But where does that leave us? On foot we’re fast, but only as fast as I am in these heels. I’m sure they’ll be watching bus and train stations, and we have no money to pay for a cab.”

“We do, if we need it.” Steve spun in a circle, swinging Mandy gently up and down as he went. “Howard handed me a billfold on his way out this morning.” He shifted Mandy to his shoulder and walked over to Peggy, his voice quiet. “There’s enough for us to charter our own private jet, if we need to. But I don’t think it’ll come to that.”

Peggy lifted her skirt and started slipping bobby pins along the edge of her garter. She rolled her eyes at Steve’s hungry look. “There’ll be time for that later.”

“Wish there was time for it now.”

She pushed her skirt down and moved on to securing burp cloths over her shoulders and under the straps of her bra. “You’re insatiable.”

He raised his eyebrows and made a show of looking down the front of her dress as she rearranged the straps. “You’re not wrong.”

She pressed her mouth in a grim line and he set the flirting aside as she slipped her gun from her holster and checked it over for herself. “So where are we going with Howard’s money?”

“Brooklyn.” Steve pulled one of his folded handkerchiefs out of his pocket and covered Mandy’s face, waiting for her giggle before he pulled it off in an impromptu game of peek-a-boo. “I know a place.”

Peggy stared at him as he continued the game, giving her no further explanation. Exasperated, she plucked the handkerchief from his fingers and covered his face with it, trying to hide her own laugher as Mandy giggled riotously and clapped her hands on his covered cheeks. “Care to elaborate?” She asked, trying to keep the amused notes out of her tone. “What’s in Brooklyn?”

Steve made a silly, surprised expression at Mandy once the handkerchief fell from his face and she giggled again, splattering drool on them both. Peggy did chuckle this time, and used the hankey to clean them both up. “Bucky’s Mom.”

“Barnes’ mother?” Peggy asked, letting Mandy grab the handkerchief from her hands.

“Yeah. She was like a second mother to me growing up. She still writes me now that…” Steve trailed off, swallowed thickly, and smiled at Mandy before continuing. “She’d take us in, let us get settled and figure out who we could trust, even just for the night. I know it.”

“I suppose there’s not much chance of her being Hydra,” Peggy mused, running her hand over his arm.

He shook his head, about to speak, when he froze.

Peggy’s heart thumped in her chest as she watched him morph from Steve, the silly and loveable father with diaper pins on his socks and bottles in his pockets, to Captain America, deadly soldier: his spine straightened, his muscles tensed, his jaw clenched, and his eyes glazed over and cleared with a new purpose. He shifted, handing her the baby and turned, pushing her behind him. Mandy reached out for the handkerchief that fell from her grasp, chin wavering and eyes watering at the drastic change in the mood of her environment.

Before Peggy could ask Steve what it was that had put him on edge, she could hear the voices and footfalls right outside the door. She couldn’t hear the words, but she knew Steve’s sharp hearing could. Mandy whined in her arms, obscuring Peggy’s ability to hear even further. Peggy bounced, leaning out to Steve’s side, eyes on the doors.

She could hear Sousa’s voice calling from farther down, and a male voice challenging him. She heard the shuffle of feet and the sound of his crutch hitting the floor.

“Steve…” She whispered, her breaths coming faster, her heart rate ramping up, the anxiety coiling in her stomach as she moved to stand next to him, Mandy between them so either could take her and run. He held his hand up for her to be steady, looking as focused and calm as she ever saw him going into battle. She shifted Mandy even more to her left arm, freeing her right hand and sliding it under her dress to make sure her gun was ready to pull from its holster.

They listened to the scuffle outside for long moments, tears falling from Mandy’s eyes as she whimpered. Peggy was forced to let go of her gun and leave it in the holster to hold the girl tightly, shushing gently to calm her. The footfalls coming towards them didn’t stop, but rather they burst through the doors, a tall, wide man in a suit preceding Vernon Masters, another agent flanking him from behind. Masters looked at them, and without any preamble demanded his prize. “I’m here for the girl.”

“You’re not getting her,” Steve answered, his voice booming. Steve watched the two men take up positions on either side of Masters, hands free and ready to fight or to draw the weapons he could see outlined under their jackets.

Masters turned, waving his hand and dismissing the men to take up guard just outside the door. “We don’t need the muscle to make this a big deal,” he smiled like a shark, his tone patronizing and sickly sweet. Masters was insistent and moved toward Peggy. “Just give me the child.”

Peggy instinctively took a step back. Normally she’d stand up to this type of man, but with Mandy in her arms she couldn’t fight.

He laughed at her modest retreat and held out his hands to reach for Mandy as he closed the gap between them to a few feet. “You will give her to me.”

Steve, without hesitation, put his entire body between them. “I don’t think you heard me.”

Vernon pursed his lips. “And you’re not thinking straight, son.”

Steve lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, I’m thinking just fine.” The man tried to move forward, but Steve put a hand on his chest, stopping him from going anywhere. “I’ll be very clear: if you try to take her, I will hurt you.”

He pressed his lips together, pushing his chest against Steve’s hand even though he knew he couldn’t match Steve’s strength. “I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with, son.”

Steve took a step forward, pushing the man away from Peggy until his back hit the door. “And I don’t think you do, either.” Steve leaned down. “We’ve been cooperative. Until now.”

Masters wasn’t backing down, from hubris or stupidity it wasn’t clear. “She’s the property of the United States Army.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, his voice low and even. “Supposedly so am I.”

Masters smirked, his eyes sparkling. “Is this the hill you want to die on?”

Steve sounded more menacing than Peggy had ever heard as he spoke. “Do you?”

The door started to shake with the sounds of someone trying to get in, the sounds of the agents fighting outside. Steve slammed a hand over the Vernon’s head, holding the door shut. Vernon, to his credit, stood his ground with only the slightest hint of fear flitting through his eyes. “You’re making the wrong decision.”

“And you’re an unethical monster.” Steve didn’t flinch.

The scuffle quieted, the heavy footfalls of boots, several of them, being marched away from the door filled the air. The voice they heard from the other side of the door was decidedly not one they’d expected to hear. Colonel Phillips’ voice rang out loud like it did on the battlefield. “Rogers! You open this door this instant!”

Without hesitation Steve pulled Masters away from the door by the neck of his shirt and swung the door open wide. Phillips sauntered in, flanked by two MPs. Phillips looked around, his mouth a flat line of disapproval. He pointed at Masters then to the MPs. “You can let Mr. Masters here go with these men. He’s got a long night ahead of him.”

Steve walked Masters to the MPs, not trusting that he wouldn’t take a lunge for the baby. Once they had him and were walking down the hall he turned back. “Sir?”

Phillips sauntered through the room, leaving the silence filling the space just long enough to make them both nervous. He took in the rag tag way they’d turned the sparse room into something more comfortable. “So, you’re both Rogers now?”

Peggy and Steve looked at one another, unsure of what to say. Peggy stuttered a bit before finally speaking. “I’ll continue to go by Carter for missions.”

“Won’t be any of those for a while,” he said flatly, turning to look at them. “Close the door.”

Steve did as he was asked and fell in next to Peggy at a comfortable parade rest like he was used to when standing in front of his CO. He tried not to react to Mandy as she reached out for him, tears falling and her chin wobbling with fear and uncertainty after the last few minutes.

Phillips shook his head. “Oh, pick her up, Rogers. She wants her daddy.”

Peggy and Steve looked at Phillips, aghast, even as Peggy handed the fussy baby over who quieted immediately in his arms.

“Don’t look so shocked.” Phillips paced, picking up a half full bottle and looking at it with almost a fondness in his eyes. “That little coded message was sure a surprise, I’ll tell you that. I hopped the first transport to London, then straight back out here after a few enlightening conversations. Howard filled me in this morning on what you have… and haven’t… been telling the people here. And your suspicions.”

Peggy finally started to feel like she was on solid ground again. “Sir, Masters—”

“Masters is our number one suspect for a Hydra mole. He knew far too much, even Dooley conceded that, and Dooley was so far up his ass he could see out that man’s mouth.” He put the bottle down, crossing his arms. “That little lady has caused quite the uproar.” He moved back to pacing. “It gives me no pleasure to do this, but as of 0600 this morning, Captain America was pronounced MIA, likely KIA.”

Steve started to talk but Phillips held up his hand to stop him. “I have sworn statements from Dugan and Pinkerton that Captain America was on the Valkyrie when it went down two days ago. No survivors have been found yet.”

“Why?” Peggy asked, turning away, reaching a hand down her shirt, and pulling the knit pig out for Mandy.

Phillips furrowed his brow at the hiding place as Peggy turned back and handed it to the girl, but continued on without addressing it. “Because we need to stop whatever is going on here at the SSR. Because we need to protect that little girl from Hydra and keep them from doing it again.” He sighed. “Because if we’re right, the war’s almost over, and if anyone deserves to have a little happiness after that hell, then you all do.”

Steve looked at Peggy, his chin set tight. “Sir, with all due respect, we’ve thought this through. It’s the only reason we’ve stayed here so long. If we go into hiding without the resources of the SSR…”

“Didn’t say you were going into hiding.” Phillips reached into his jacket and pulled out a folio filled with documents, handing them to Peggy. “Captain America has been pronounced dead. Private Steven Grant Rogers has been honorably discharged and his wife, Peggy Rogers… Carter…” He shook his head and continued pacing, “Whatever, we can fix that later… has been granted an undisclosed period of maternity leave.”

“People will know his face,” Peggy started as she unwrapped the documents and read them, parroting the very arguments she’d shot down way back when they were on the boat and first trying to figure this out.

Phillips shrugged. “Grow a beard, get some glasses.” He looked Steve in the eyes. “The public knew you with a mask and shield. The majority of the men you fought with think you’re dead. The only men who know the truth, the Commandos, are smart enough to keep their mouths shut.”

Steve was unconvinced. “Masters?” he asked, rocking side to side as Mandy chewed on her pig, tears slowing as she calmed down.

“That man’s going straight to prison for suspected treason.” Phillips stood tall, a hint of a smile on his face. “Anyone else here will be debriefed that you’re a look-alike used for security purposes to hide your- his- death from the country until we couldn’t hold it off any longer.” 

“Rose?” Peggy asked. “Sousa?”

Phillips shook his head. “Howard’s already approached her to work with us. We’ll be setting you up in a safe house for the time being, Rose will be your liaison. I’m assuming Sousa was the guy they had knocked out at the end of the hall. We’ll get him patched up and offer him a spot, as well.” He pointed at the baby in Steve’s arms. “First priority is keeping her safe until we find out more about Leviathan and why Masters wanted her so badly.”

Phillips stopped talking, watching as Peggy got to the last page in the docket, a smile slowly blooming on her face as she held the paper up for Steve to see.

“We can change the date, if you want. We still haven’t found a single word about her or what they were doing, but Dugan’s on it. Figured you’d need a birth certificate for when you enrolled her in school.” Peggy looked at him, warmth radiating from her eyes. He just shook his head. “I’m getting soft, Carter. Good thing the war’s over or next thing you know I’d have brought you a dog.” 

“I mean…” Steve started, a small smile on his face.

Phillips frowned at him. “Watch it, Rogers. I’m not buying you a dog.”

Steve begrudgingly brought them back to the task at hand. “What’s the game plan?”

“Take what you need, I’m driving you to the safe house myself. Once Emke’s caught or we have more information, we’ll reassess.”

~*~

* * *

The safehouse was an apartment in New Jersey on the second floor of an old building that was sparsely populated. It had charm, and more room than either the observation room they’d just been in or their room on the ship, and for that Peggy was at least somewhat grateful.

Peggy walked through the apartment with Mandy asleep in her bassinet, following Steve as he checked over every room with the little black box Phillips had handed him courtesy of Stark. No bugs and no two-way mirrors.

With Emke out there they’d still need to be vigilant. With an empire like Hydra falling, it made people desperate.

But now the door wasn’t locked to keep them in, it was locked, and there were two armed guards in an apartment below them, to keep her out.

There were windows. Big, wide windows in every room that let in the orange of the sunset and the cool breeze when she cracked them open. She hadn’t realized how claustrophobic that observation room had felt until she was rid of it, how much she missed the sunlight until they were sitting in the car, the warmth of the sunset on her cheeks.

She looked at the one large bed in the bedroom and the standalone bassinet in the corner. She felt both excitement at this new turn and fear that it was going to be easy to forget just quite how much trouble they were still in.

Steve pulled their bags in from the living room; they still didn’t have much, but it was enough. Peggy and Steve had hastily pulled off all the items they’d stashed on themselves and packed the remaining suitcase with everything they had. On their way out they’d spotted Mr. Jarvis’s car in the parking lot, with Mr. Jarvis and their other suitcase both stashed in the trunk.

Mr. Jarvis had followed them to the safe house and was currently on his way to a grocery, insisting they have enough food in the house for several days once he saw that their icebox was bare.

Peggy lifted one of the bags onto the bed and started to sort their things out. Most clothes still desperately needed to be laundered, and she was sure Mr. Jarvis would be a great help in that, as well. There were a handful of things, like her satin nightgown, that were still good. 

The thought of putting on that satin nightgown that been untouched for weeks was thrilling.

Even more thrilling was the thought of Steve pealing it off of her.

She set the nightgown aside and continued sorting the clothes, then stood over the bassinet, running her hand over the soft, clean linens. It felt like a dream, and she was loathe to lose herself to it and find in a few hours, or in the morning, that it couldn’t be hers.

But it was. The threat was still there, but this wasn’t their prison, wasn’t their cover, it was their haven where they could be themselves without being watched, without being afraid. She smiled, walking out of the quiet room and towards their small living room, listening to Steve as he pointed out everything in the tiny kitchen as he ran through the contents of the cupboards with Mandy in his arms.

Peggy sat on the couch in the small living room and let her head fall back. “It’s so soft.”

“When was the last time you sat on one?” Steve asked, setting Mandy back in the bassinet they’d brought with them and putting it on the coffee table in front of Peggy.

She smiled as Steve sat next to her, gathering her into his side. “1943.”

He held her close, enjoying the softness of the couch and the warmth of her body. “We’re almost there.”


	23. From Black and White to Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy and Steve share their first night and morning in the safe house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to leave it as is for the moment, but there is a possibility there will be more than 25 chapters now. This chapter totally hit me from left field and I still want to get some of the other things I meant to put in here in this chapter.
> 
> Thank you, once again, for being on this journey with me. I Know where it's going, but somehow I still don't know how it's taking me there.

Jarvis was a tornado once he returned to the apartment, at once both excited about its prospects and dismayed at the amount of work to do. He saw to it that Peggy and Steve had a proper dinner, though kept apologizing as peanut butter sandwiches were all he could provide on short notice since the soup he’d initially brought had been spilled all over the trunk of the car when Masters’ men had shoved him in there. He set about to making a larger grocery list, apologizing again as all the small grocer he’d visited on the way had was eggs and butter and bread for breakfast in the morning.

He filled their cabinets with the small bounty as they were eating, chattering on about everything and anything as he scrubbed each baby bottle until it was not only spotless but positively sterile, and set up a little corner with the bottles and the jar of formula all ready to go for the next feeding.

He winced at the pile of washing Peggy showed him, bundling it up in a spare bedsheet he found in the closet and promising to have it back by dinner tomorrow. He sneered when he passed the closet, informing her that under no circumstances would he be dropping off the laundry without taking the rest of their clothes with him to get those cleaned tomorrow, as well.

Peggy sighed and slumped against the door when Mr. Jarvis finally left, still listing out loud the things he intended to collect for them and bring them in the morning as he made his way down the hall. She clicked both locks over tight and ran her hand over the door.

Normal. For once, it felt almost normal.

She turned, moving through the room. Normal also meant she was thinking clearly, seeing things as they were and as they could be when it came to points of weakness. Every window made her cringe as she slid the locks home and drew the curtains tight. The very things that had let in the light and air she so craved just a few hours ago now seemed like horrible points of weakness.

She found Steve in the dark bedroom, the stool from the dressing table pulled over by the bassinet and the window. She watched him from the doorframe as he alternately watched Mandy sleep and set his sights outside.

His eyes were trained on the street outside, the lamps dim in the darkness when his voice surprised her, low and deep, “I never thought I’d see the US again. Not really. Not once I started actually fighting, you know?”

His soft confession made tears come to Peggy’s eyes. She’d had nights where she felt the same way. Instead of speaking, she moved over to stand behind him, setting her hands on his shoulders and meeting his eyes in their dim reflection.

“I thought, ‘what right do I have to do anything but fight my hardest,’ you know? I could do more than most of those guys, I could be more…” He sighed, dropping his head and letting his hand come to rest on hers. “I didn’t… I didn’t have anything back here. Not really. Some of those guys- they had families to come home to.”

“Oh, Steve.” Peggy turned her hand in his, holding tight as she let her other hand gently thread through his hair. The simple contact they’d stopped themselves from having felt good… soothing… like a touchstone to reality.

“But now,” he turned his head, pulling her hand to his lips and kissing her knuckles fiercely, “now I’m one of those guys that has a family.” He pulled her hand under his chin, holding it close to him. “I’d do anything for you two, Peg.” He met her eyes in the window. “Anything.”

Peggy leaned down, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her lips to his cheek. “I believe you’ve already shown that, many times over, these past few weeks.” Long, slow breaths went by as they gazed into the night. “I forgot what it was like, I think. Peace.”

“To be dry…With carpet underfoot...” He smiled a little, digging his stocking foot into the carpet below him. “We’ll get used to it again, I think.”

Peggy stood slowly, the awkward lean too much for her fatigued body to handle. She sighed, the maudlin yet beautiful moments passed. “I do quite love these windows, but there are so many and they’re vulnerable.”

“Bulletproof,” Steve supplied quickly. “I think you were changing Mandy when Phillips told me. Windows are all bulletproof with reinforced sills so they can’t be pried out. Front door has a metal core. Dial 55 on the phone and we get a direct line to the guys downstairs.”

“Speaking of,” she swung around, smiling and sitting I his lap, a new desire welling up into her as she realized they were far safer than she initially thought, “are they directly below us?”

Steve cleared his throat as she began to run her hands over his chest and wiggle her hips in his lap. “Why, um, no.” He coughed, trying to shake the high pitch his voice had taken on without his permission. “No,” he continued in his own tone, letting his hand roam up her thigh. “I think they’re one apartment over, the mailroom is below us.”

“Ahh,” Peggy sighed, pulling at the top button of his shirt. “That’s very important information.” She popped the button open and moved on to the next one. “We’re generally safe.” She popped the second and moved on to the third, “Mandy’s asleep,” another button opened, “And we’re all alone with what looks to be a _very_ comfortable bed. I do believe I told you there were some things I’d like to do to you when we had a bed.”

Steve smiled, nuzzling his nose along her cheek. “What did you have in mind, Mrs. Rogers?”

Peggy gently caught the lobe of his ear between her teeth, dragging down the flesh before she whispered in his ear, “Call me that again.”

His hand slid under her dress, fingers playing with her garter. “Mrs. Rogers.”

“I quite—”

She was interrupted by the soft mewling of the baby next to them. Quiet, but loud enough to draw both their attention, it made both of their heads snap to the side, their dalliance on pause as they waited to see if she’d quiet down or demanded their care. Her cries became more formed, more insistent, and they both stood, flanking her on either side of the bassinet.

Steve reached in first, letting his hand rest on the girl’s belly, gently rubbing. “What’s the matter, baby girl?”

At his words she opened her eyes, her cries forgotten at his voice.

“Daddy’s girl, I think,” Peggy whispered, hands on the edge as she watched the girl gaze up at Steve.

“Nah, she’s just looking for something familiar.” He sighed, letting her take his finger in her tiny hand. “She’s been through so much, Peg.”

“She won’t remember any of it, at least not in any meaningful way.” Mandy’s head swiveled as Peggy spoke, the girl smiling when she found her face. “Ah, yes, here I am, my little love.”

“See? She likes her Mama, too.” Steve smiled at her as well, and Peggy felt like her heart might burst. Emotion welled within her and suddenly she was standing there, hand pressed to her mouth, trying not to sob. “Oh, not you, too,” Steve joked lightly as he rounded the bassinet and took her in his arms. “I don’t think I can handle both of you crying at the same time.”

In his embrace, Peggy let her tears fall, even though she laughed, the mixed emotions raging within her. “You know very well you can handle the both of us.”

Steve’s hand played with her hair, moving it away from her face. “Maybe, maybe…” He sighed, turning them both back to Mandy who was watching them silently. “I have a feeling I’ll be trying to do that for a long time to come.” Peggy chuckled, wiping the tears from her eyes. Steve kissed her forehead gently. “Go get ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”

“Just when I think I’ve got a handle on it,” she pushed away from him, taking his hands in hers, “I well up. I don’t think I’ve cried this much the whole war.”

Steve squeezed her hands. “I think… I think it’s her. It’s us.” He took a deep breath. “Fighting Hydra, fighting the Nazis, that was never all that personal.” His eyes clouded over as he drifted far away, to the battle fields they used to call home. “It was ideals and freedom and all these vague reasons we had to do our duty as a group and as an army to make the world a better place. Such a big, lofty goal that only felt real in the loss, in the devastation after a fight. But this?” He let his forehead fall to hers, breathing in deeply. “This is us. You and me and her. This is our future, our life. Our _family_ , Peg. I can see it. It’s small and it’s perfect and it’s well within our grasp. The threat is immediate. The threat instantly changes our whole lives. We’re not fighting an ideology, we’re fighting men who want to take our family, our happiness.” He nuzzled his nose against her cheek, eyes closed. “I’ll never let it happen.”

Peggy took a deep breath and clicked her tongue behind her teeth, fighting another onslaught of tears. “Well, when you put it like that I’m surprised I’m not more of a mess.” His breath of a laugh made her heart lighter. “I hadn’t thought of it like that, not really.”

“I started thinking about a future again.” He whispered. “Even when I was entertaining ideas of what you and I might be, I never thought long term, not really. It was always just a fuzzy _someday…_ But then she came along and we had that little room on the ship and all of a sudden it was like in the Wizard of Oz when it goes from Black and White to Color. I saw it all. I saw it all so sharply and clearly and I knew I wanted it. I knew I wanted it and I could have it.”

“We can both have it. We do have it.” Peggy pressed her cheek tightly to his.

“We’re close. We’re so close, Peg.” Mandy’s cries started soft, and Steve pulled himself from Peggy to lift the girl before they got any worse. “Go, get a shower, put on that nightgown I know you’ve been thinking about for weeks,” he winked at her as he bounced Mandy, “I think I can handle tonight’s bottle on my own.”

~*~

* * *

It had been a fight to get both girls to sleep. Mandy had been wary of the new crib and only slept well once he put her in the old Moses bassinet inside the new standing crib. Peggy had been anxious, her emotions welling at the surface, unwilling to surrender to sleep until he’d dragged her and her satin nightgown into the far-too-soft bed and held her in place with his arm around her waist.

Eventually Peggy had fallen asleep, and she’d managed to stay asleep as he slipped from the bed and stationed himself back at the window, halfway between the bed and bassinet.

He was always bad at taking his own advice. 

Peggy wasn’t the only one who was uneasy. He knew they were on thin ice. He was afraid of falling too deeply into the illusion, of letting his guard down when there were still people out there who wanted Amanda for their own, who wanted to take away the only future he’d ever gotten excited about for himself.

He hadn’t been lying when he was talking to Peggy earlier, but it went far deeper than just the war. Steve had never planned much of a life for himself, hadn’t seen the need, not when doctors were always whispering to his mother to keep him calm, to stop him from overexerting himself, to keep him alive for another few months. One doctor finally said it to his face when he was a teenager: he’d be lucky to live into his 20’s, his 30’s would be amazing, and his 40’s would be a miracle with all the ailments he had.

His plans for the future were always fuzzy. Finding a nice girl and settling down was well and good, but he hadn’t seen the point in leaving a young window mourning him when he knew he didn’t have long. The war had given him a purpose, it had been one of the reasons he’d tried so hard: if he wasn’t going to live long, he at least needed to have meaning in his life.

Project Rebirth, and Peggy, had made him start to think that maybe, just maybe, that life he always thought wasn’t meant for him was more of a possibility than he thought. But even then, he didn’t let himself get caught up in the thought, just focused on _duty_ and _orders_ and kept moving forward.

Then he saw Peggy with that baby in her arms and the whole Hydra base melted away. He’s still surprised he managed to get them back to base with the way his mind raced, with the way he couldn’t seem to focus on anything but what that sight made him feel. And then, once they’d had some sense of calm, once they were playing house in that little room on the ship and he could feel, feel what that life would be like…

He couldn’t imagine anything else.

He needed it like he needed air.

He needed Amanda and Peggy and a little house where the war was far behind them.

For once, he started to think about what it would be like to grow old.

For once, he wanted to.

He looked at Peggy, curled in on herself, wrapped in soft blankets with a proper pillow and the satin falling around her. Her hand was curled by her chin and he frowned, looking at the chipped nail polish.

She’d always worked so hard to keep up appearances, be it how she looked or how she behaved to fit in a world that didn’t want her because she was a woman.

He loved that she was a woman.

He loved that she took pride in her hair and her nails and that when she ran out of stockings on the front lines in Germany, she took the time to draw a seam up the back of her legs with kohl until she could get more.

He loved that under that softness, that beauty, there was a woman that would rip her stockings and break a nail and ruin her hair if it meant winning a fight, if it meant doing what was right. He loved that she slogged five miles through a Polish forest with only one boot and never complained once. He loved that she stood up for herself. That she was strong.

Somehow, he loved that she didn’t need him.

That she wanted him anyway, that she’d wanted him before the serum, that she wanted him despite his abilities and not because of them, made it more special.

They’d come so far, but they still had so far to go before they could truly relax, before they could let their guard down and start to build the life he’d found himself fantasizing about more and more recently.

Peggy moaned in her sleep, hands fisting tightly. Steve shifted, pulling the bench next to the bed as he reached out for her hand. “Peg, Peg… you’re okay.”

She threaded her fingers in his, calming instantly. “Steve…” she whispered, still asleep.

He looked at their linked hands, holding tight. He examined each finger, looking at the picked cuticles and the remains of nail polish that hung on tight.

It seemed silly at first, the impetus to make sure she never had to have her hands look like this again, but he let his gut guide him. First the nail polish, then the ring, then the life to go with it.

The nails were just a symbol, like his shield.

For the first time he felt a pang of sadness when thinking about his shield. It had kept him safe for so long, had saved others. His hand felt empty in a fire fight without it. He felt a sharp sorrow for the life he was leaving behind. It had given him meaning and purpose when he’d felt lost.

The sorrow was fleeting, and didn’t hurt when it disappeared like he thought it might. The shield belonged to a man who was a symbol, a man who was the property of other men. A man he’d become because that was who was needed at the time.

He was his own man now with a family and a life ahead of him. He got to decide who he wanted to be and how he wanted to live.

He didn’t need a shield for that, he just needed his girls.

~*~

* * *

The sun had been up for hours by the time Peggy woke up. She shuffled into the kitchen, trying to tuck her hair behind her ears in something that resembled presentable. She wrapped a robe around herself as Steve pulled out a mug. “What time is it?”

He set the mug down and handed Mandy to Peggy as he pulled out a pan to heat water for her tea. “About 11. I didn’t want to wake you.”

Peggy snuggled Mandy, who was in a clingy mood, wrapping herself around Peggy and tucking under her chin. “I don’t think you could have if you wanted to. I can’t remember the last time I slept that deeply.” Peggy started walking in circles around the room, bouncing Mandy. “Your side of the bed was startlingly undisturbed.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he dismissed, lighting the stove and setting the water to boil. He turned to the pad he was keeping by the oven and added “kettle” to the list of things for Jarvis to bring them.

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?” Peggy asked knowingly. She looked at him, disapproval in her eyes, and he silently challenged her. She knew she didn’t have an argument that she could win, as she would have stayed up if her body would have allowed her. “We have tea?”

“Jarvis stopped by earlier, dropped off a lot of food, said he’d be back later with the laundry. He said it’s not a proper English tea, but it’s better than what’s in the rations on the front.” Steve turned, pulling a small bottle out of the cabinet. “I asked him to get you this, too. I don’t think it’s quite the right color, but…”

Peggy stepped closer to see the small bottle of nail varnish in his hand. She smiled up at him, then her face fell a bit, unable to stop herself from feeling upset that Steve, of all people, focused on such a thing. “You noticed the manicure’s a bit worn.”

He frowned at her less than expected reception. “I noticed that you don’t like anyone to see you without a fresh manicure, and that the last time I saw you with even a chip in your color before all this was when we were in Poland and it took us five days to get back to base on foot.” Steve let his hand lift her chin. “I don’t care if you do them or not, but I thought you’d like it.”

Peggy smiled, glad to have her judgement proven wrong. “I do like it, thank you.”

Steve kissed her nose and turned away, lifting the water off the stove to cool before he poured it over the tea. “It’s not the only present I have for you.”

“Present?” Peggy wandered behind him, watching as he poured the water and made her tea. “Why would I garner presents?”

Steve looked back at her, surprised and wide eyed. His mouth moved for a second, then he finally spoke. “It… it is your birthday, isn’t it? Or did I…”

“It’s tomorrow.” Peggy pecked him on the cheek. “The ninth.”

“The ninth is today,” Steve turned, handing her the mug with a smile.

“No, the…” Peggy took it gratefully, letting Steve take Mandy back so she could sip it without fear of the little one reaching for the hot beverage. She looked back up at him. “Did I lose track of days that badly?”

Steve let his hand rub her shoulder as she sat at the small table in the kitchen, sipping her tea. “You’re not that far off. If Phillips hadn’t mentioned the date yesterday while we were talking, I wouldn’t have known, either.”

“Damn. Well then, happy birthday to me.” Peggy watched Steve move around the small kitchen with ease, the baby cuddled tight in his shoulder, the tea warming her from the inside out. “Is she okay? She seems…”

Steve nodded, setting the pan in the sink. “She’s clingy. Has been all morning. I think it’s just that every time she switches environments something bad happens.” Steve reached into his pants pocket and pulled out her knit bear. Mandy took it, but held it tight in her hands, fingers grabbing at the fabric.

Peggy set her tea on the table and joined Steve, running her hands over her downy head. The girl leaned into the touch, eyes drooping. Peggy held her cheek and lifted her other hand to caress Steve’s face. “You two should go have a lie in. You look about as tired as she does.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she stopped him with a finger across the lips. “You don’t have to sleep, just rest. And you know she’ll sleep better if you’re there.”

Steve turned his head, kissing Peggy’s palm, nodding. “I won’t be far if you need me.”

She smiled at him, a twinkle in her eye. “How I’ll manage toast and eggs on my own I’ll never know.”

“Your mom thinks she’s funny,” he whispered to Mandy, turning to leave the room.

“Her mum is funny,” Peggy called, shaking her head as she watched them disappear towards the bedroom. She barely had enough time to pull out the bread and butter and eggs for her toast before Steve was back, hands hidden behind his back. “What? Don’t believe I won’t burn the kitchen down?”

Steve tipped his head to the side, trying not to smile, “Well…”

Peggy pressed her lips in a line, shaking her head, eyes on slicing her bread. “You really should go rest.”

“I will, in a second. I just… I didn’t want to do this with either of us having a baby in our hands.” His words made her put down the knife and turn to him. He slipped his hands around, holding out a little box. “I asked Jarvis to go get it yesterday. Bucky’s Ma was holding on to it for me for safe keeping. I don’t know if it’ll fit, but once we’re done with all of this, I can get you one of your own.”

Peggy bit her lip as she took the box, her heart pounding in a way it shouldn’t have been for a woman who was already married to the man in front of her. She lifted the lid and gently pulled it out: a silver ring that had filagree all over the small band, wrapping protectively around a tiny, brilliant diamond in the middle. “Steve…”

“I know it’s not what you deserve…”

“It’s perfect,” she whispered, holding it out to him. “Put it on me?”

Steve looked at it, then at Peggy’s hand, held out, eyes shining. His voice dropped low, emotional, “You deserve something big, something that shines like you do.”

She let her hand rest on his until he looked at her. “It’s perfect, Steve. I don’t want anything else.”

His eyes narrowed, skeptical. “You’re sure?”

“Put it on me, Steve.” He fumbled for a moment before sliding it gently on her finger. It was a little loose, but sat demurely on her hand. Peggy leaned forward, kissing him. Gently at first, then with more fervor. Her hands were just starting to roam with intention when the cry came from the other room.

Peggy sighed, hugging Steve close. “I suppose I’ll be fighting with her for your attention for years to come.” Steve rocked them for a moment, she could feel him thinking. She tried to push away “I was joking, Steve. Go get her.”

His smile was unsure, but Peggy pushed him away playfully. “Get some rest, darling.”

After he left, Peggy lifted her hand to look at the ring. It was a little big, and she’d have to be careful until she could take it to a jeweler to get sized, but it really was perfect. She wouldn’t want anything bigger, didn’t need it.

It was perfect.


	24. The Right Partner, The Right Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy counts the days differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had ch 25/the epilogue written for so long now that Chapter 24 is now the last thing I’ve had to write for this story. I can’t believe it’s over. I can’t believe it took me so long, or that this “little” story turned into this EPIC. I also can’t believe so many of you followed this, commented, reviewed, and love this little family like I do. You have made my days and weeks SO much better through these last few months. Thank you all for going on this journey with me, especially when I didn’t know where it was going. You are amazing. Epilogue will be posted shortly.

Peggy couldn’t lie, she felt better with a fresh manicure. She didn’t have a file so the shape was a bit odd in some places, and she couldn’t do much about the cuticles she’d picked at while waiting for Steve and Mandy in that horrid observation room, but she managed to chip away the remnants of her old nail polish and apply two clean, fresh coats of the bright red varnish while Mandy napped on Steve’s chest.

It made her feel a little more like herself.

She spent more time than really necessary on her hair and spent long minutes in front of the mirror, applying her make-up. When she dressed, quiet as Steve had also managed to succumb to slumber, she picked the dress that matched the red of her nails, slid clean, fresh stockings up her legs, and sighed happily when she finally looked at herself in the mirror.

“You’re stunning,” Steve spoke quietly, Mandy still asleep on his chest.

“How long have you been awake?” Peggy asked, turning and smiling at him, knowing she must have put on quite the show as she indulged herself this morning.

“Long enough,” he replied cryptically, shifting gently to avoid waking Mandy. “Going somewhere?”

“Just…” she sighed, “Just wanted to feel a bit more myself.”

He nodded, holding out his hand. She crossed the room and took it gently, letting him pull her closer to kiss the knuckles next to the ring she wore. “Think you can get her in the crib without waking up?” he asked quietly.

Peggy took her hand back and wiggled her fingers. “Sounds like a challenge.” Slowly and gently, she scooped the girl up, cradling her close as she shifted around, and tenderly set her down in what they had started calling her crib, just to differentiate it from the bassinet they’d used up until now. Peggy held her breath as the girl wiggled, getting comfortable, then once again stilled, content.

She turned and smiled brightly at Steve, who stood slowly. Together, they crept silently out of the room, closing the door behind them. Once on the other side of the door, they both sighed with relief.

Steve wrapped his arms around Peggy, half a smile lighting up his face. “What should we do for your birthday?”

“I’m still not convinced it’s my birthday,” she whispered, slowly moving them farther away from the door, “but far be it from me to question Phillips.”

“I can have the guys downstairs bring up a paper?” Steve shuffled his way through the two-step they were doing, eyes set firmly on her feet.

Peggy stopped moving and waited for him to look up at her. “You’re not going to step on my feet.”

“You have a lot of faith in me,” Steve chuckled out, but then quickly took her tighter in his arms and dipped her low.

Peggy wasn’t surprised or scared by his quick movement, but it did make her heart skip a beat in a way that was far too familiar by now. “I always have,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

His kiss started gently, but soon there was a hunger between then that hadn’t been satiated in too long. He stood her up and then lifted her into his arms without taking his lips from hers.

~*~

* * *

It hadn’t been difficult for her to find the apartment. It had been far too easy, in fact, for her to track the anxiety ridden butler as he flitted about town, in and out of stores, to the mansion and back again to the seedy little apartment building, unassuming in every way.

Except she could tell from here the windows were reinforced, and since there were no bars, she bet it was bulletproof glass. Anything less and they were asking to be attacked. She looked up from the street to the window where she saw Peggy buzzing about what looked like a kitchen, moving pots and pans and a bottle.

Dottie Underwood was simply out for a walk. If it took her right to Peggy Carter’s safe house, so be it.

Dottie sighed, watching as Steve came up behind Peggy, wrapping his arms around her and laying his chin on her shoulder. She felt a pang deep in the recesses of her heart, deep in places she tried to avoid acknowledging even exited.

Fighting with Peggy had been exhilarating. Dangerous. It awakened fires in her she didn’t understand. She wanted to be her. She wanted to be with her. She wanted the life she had.

In the Red Room she’d been told no one would love her for the things she could do, that she should use them as weapons, use her body as a weapon. She couldn’t remember feeling a touch that was loving or genuine. It was all false, all for show, all for a target.

But Peggy was like her- she was strong and fast and resilient and she could fight. Dottie remembered what it was like to snap her pinky finger back on the boat, the rush when Peggy’s eyes stayed on hers and she barely flinched. Peggy had power, she wielded it well.

And yet, Steve loved her.

And Peggy loved him. She trusted him.

Peggy had the power and skill Dottie had taken a lifetime to hone, and she also had the life Dottie had been told she would never be able to have.

Dottie could trust no one. Love no one. For the first time in her entire life, those thoughts brought pain instead of comfort.

Knowing Peggy’s location was all the information she needed for now. Something in her said she should keep the secret for now, that it might be good currency later. She pretended that the thought that she wouldn’t share the location to protect Peggy never entered her mind. She turned back, heading down the street she’d come and to catch the bus back to the Griffith. No one knew she was there. She hadn’t contacted anyone since she’d changed her name. She could take her time, deicide on her next move without watching her back too closely. The girls at the Griffith were nice, friendly even.

If she wanted, Dottie could start over. Keep this name, keep this life… and yet, deep in her gut, that felt like a betrayal to all she’d been taught.

For the first time, Dottie wondered if what she’d been taught was wrong.

For the first time in her life, Dottie wondered if she was on the right path.

~*~

* * *

Peggy laid in bed, the moonlight streaming through the crack in the curtains. Steve held her close to him, spooned behind her, his breath hot on her shoulder as he slept.

For all the wonderful things today, a thought had bloomed in the back of her mind that she wouldn’t, couldn’t, acknowledge until now.

She’d lost a day.

Counting now, thinking back on it, she could account for them all. Steve had been right: today was her birthday.

She’d lost track of another day, though.

She couldn’t remember if she was due three days ago or five days from now.

Three or Five.

She would have to have a very awkward exchange with Jarvis about picking her up some sanitary products from the store. She could maybe pass him a note, or circumvent him all together and just call Rose or Ana.

But she’d only need them if it was five days from now.

The little notebook where she kept a handwritten calendar with hash marks to keep track was still overseas in her trunk, along with all of her other personal belongings she left not that long ago in such a rush that she hadn’t been thinking of the practicalities.

If it had been three days ago….

It would explain why she’d been so emotional, though Steve had covered that very clearly last night, and while she’d been through many other emotions today, none of them seemed unwarranted. And it would explain the knots in her stomach, but then again, emotion always sat funny in her stomach.

They’d been reckless, she’d been reckless. She knew she had to be careful, she knew the responsibility rested with her as she was taught by her mother over and over again that men didn’t understand these things nor did they care to. She wondered how much Steve knew, how much he understood, how much his mother had told him or kept from him. She couldn’t imagine that stuttering bean pole of a man she’d first met at Camp Lehigh knew all that much of the inner workings, but he did often surprise her.

But they’d both been irresponsible. The need for his body had overwhelmed her senses and at the time the chance had seemed a risk worth taking.

Three days ago or five days from now. 

She let her hand slide down low on her stomach, wondering if their dalliances had changed their lives forever, or if she was overreacting. She didn’t have to imagine what it was like to hold a baby, for it to rely on her for everything, to feel so protective of it… She did wonder what it would be like to be pregnant. She’d had friends who made it sound lovely, and friends who made it sound horrid. She’d never had the desire to watch herself grow wide and full and lose her agility. She was still unsure if that’s what she wanted.

But to have Steve’s baby, to create a life with him that was not only theirs, but was made from them, that didn’t sound that bad.

An infant and a one-year-old sounded absolutely terrible, though.

She’d ask Rose to see if she could manage to get their trunks sent back from the front. While she wouldn’t get to her notebook in time, there were other things in there she missed. Letters. Her own clothes. A picture Steve had drawn for her.

She’d call Rose in the morning. Peggy decided she was not, under any circumstances, having a conversation about sanitary products with Mr. Jarvis.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm her breathing to trick herself into falling asleep, but the numbers kept running in her head, keeping her from getting any rest.

Three or five.

Three or five.

Three or five.

~*~

* * *

“Masters is in a cell in Alamogordo, he’s not going anywhere. But we haven’t been able to get him to give anyone up yet, and we’re sure there were at least a few more agents loyal to him in the mix at that office.” Phillips sighed. “We’re not in the clear, yet, but we’re getting there. They’re working on tracking that Emke woman, but she’s in the wind.” Phillips sat on the small armchair, playing with his hat. He’d stopped by to debrief them on his way to catch a flight back to London.

Peggy bounced an irritated Mandy on her knee, thinking the man looked for all the world like he was stalling. Hell, she’d stall, too, if she was headed back to the front. “Emke’s a professional. Without much to go on, I can’t imagine she’ll be easy to track down.”

“Be that as it may, we’re still trying.” He looked down at his cap, then back up, memory sparked. “And Rose said you’d asked about your trunks. I can’t guarantee when they’ll get here with everything going on, but I’ll make sure they get wrapped up and shipped.”

“That’s wonderful, thank you,” she said, rubbing Mandy’s back.

“Well, we’ve still got our work cut out for us. Masters may be—Rogers!” Peggy jumped as Phillips barked out the name and looked past her to the kitchen door where Steve was emerging. “What are you doing?”

Steve paused, hands up, one holding the bottle he was shaking as Mandy whined at the surprise of Phillip’s tone. Usually, he knew when he was in trouble. “Making a bottle, sir.” He replied, unsure what Phillips could possibly be seeing that made him call out.

“You don’t shake a baby bottle like that!” Phillips’ tone took on the condescending, haughty tone he’d had in training where he’d been dismayed to find Steve hadn’t known a thing about physical fitness or the army. “You have to swirl it, not shake it. No wonder the poor thing is whining, you’re giving her a stomach ache with all those bubbles in there!”

Steve held out the bottle, attempting the circles Phillips was miming with his hand, but the officer was having none of it. He stood and took the bottle from Steve, showing him how to mix it without frothing the formula. “There. See? Who in the world taught you how to do this, son?”

“No one,” Steve replied, rubbing the back of his neck, “which is apparently the problem.”

Phillips softened, holding the bottle out to Peggy. “I do suppose you were both saddled with that little lady out of nowhere.”

“You have children, Colonel?” Peggy asked as Phillips handed her the mixed bottle and she cradled Mandy back to eat.

“Oh, no. No.” Phillips smiled, saying a line she’s sure he’s said a million times over. “What woman would chain herself to this face for the rest of her life? No, I had nieces. My brother-in-law was KIA, so I helped my sister take care of them when they were little.” A small smile broke out on his face, the first one Peggy thinks she’s ever seen on him. “They are pretty adorable at this age, though.”

It’s barely a few seconds before he snaps out of it. “Wait until she’s two,” he says, setting his hat on his head and turning to Steve, clapping him on the shoulder. “Better yet, wait until she’s sixteen.”

Phillips laughed to himself as he moved to the door. Peggy stood, still feeding Mandy as she watched him move to the door to leave. “Sir, we really can’t thank you enough,” she started, knowing his showing up went far beyond duty.

“Don’t thank me yet, this may be a prettier prison than you were in, but until we figure out just how deep this thing goes or we catch Emke, or both, you’re still not allowed to leave.” Phillips dipped his head, becoming somber. “I’ll make sure Rose and Sousa keep you informed.”

They watched him go silently, the click of the door a little startling in the quiet.

“Of all the things I thought that man would ever yell at me for,” Steve started softly, his eyes still on the door, “never in a million years would I have imagined ‘mixing a bottle wrong’ would even be an option.”

~*~

* * *

Rose was by later that afternoon, handing Steve a large bag filled with odds and ends Jarvis had put together for him and Peggy a much smaller, discrete bag. Steve looked at her but didn’t ask when she quickly disappeared with the bag before returning to see Rose cooing over Mandy as she played on the quilt on the floor.

“Oh, you’ll be wanting that back!” Peggy suddenly realized, moving to scoop Mandy off of it.

“Oh, no, please. Consider it a wedding and baby gift, all in one.” Rose waved her hand dismissively, “It was gathering dust in my closet. My Aunt Elma made it for me, but it never fit on my bed right. You might have noticed the one side isn’t exactly… straight. Lovely woman, but not the world’s best seamstress.” Rose smiled. “She’d be happy someone could use it.”

“How has headquarters been?” Peggy asked, settling down on the floor by Mandy.

“Oh, it’s a shake up,” Rose sat on the couch, adjusting her glasses. Peggy smiled at the look in the woman’s eyes, she was getting ready to spill every last detail. “They’re all suspicious of one another, even men who have worked together for years. They’re making fools of themselves trying to prove they’re loyal and not with Hydra.” Rose sighed, “It would be funny if it weren’t so dire. I heard rumors that Phillips is going to start dismantling the SSR from the top down, going through every man and every record.”

“That would take years,” Steve commented from the kitchen as he unpacked the bag from Jarvis.

“Absolutely.” Rose leaned forward, even though there was no one around to overhear her secrets, “And rumor is Dooley will be first to go as soon as the war’s over.”

“And who will run the New York office if Phillips cleans house here and then is down in Washington?” Peggy tried to coax Mandy into a roll, but she wouldn’t do it, just grasped at the knit pig Peggy was holding above her.

Peggy stopped dead when Rose spoke.

“Well, one of you, I suspect.”

~*~

* * *

Two days passed in relative quiet. With the majority of the things they needed now in their possession, the visits from their friends became less frequent. Steve and Peggy spent their days learning how to live a civilian life with one another, one that didn’t have to be played at, one that didn’t have to be full of false touches of love or devoid of desperate touches for comfort. Slowly, carefully, they started to build something that was really and truly them.

Peggy wasn’t sure she knew how to be a civilian anymore, couldn’t really grasp the context of not having a job to do with the war that was raging across the ocean and it left her anxious and in need of a schedule. She tried to fill her days with morning exercise routines and afternoon playtime, she started to track Mandy’s nap-times and bottle schedules and wrote precise notes she could start to compare and use to build a schedule for the child. Steve seemed to fall back into it much easier, having had less time in the military. He didn’t mind lounging for hours with a book or a sketch pad, and never seemed to have the need to check his watch while paying on the floor with Mandy. He looked at ease in the kitchen, even if he didn’t have much more talent with a frying pan or the oven than she did, which, incidentally, was almost nothing.

He made a passable cup of tea (he was getting better) and seemed up for splitting any and all household tasks.

Steve perused the paper every morning, up before her, and left it folded neatly in what had become her spot at the table with a cup of tea ready when she woke up. Mornings settled into a predictable routine, something that gave Peggy reassurance and stability.

They took advantage of every minute Mandy slept, which seemed to be less and less by the day. They talked about hopes and dreams and mapped on another’s bodies with their tongues. He held her tight when she slept at night and she managed to find the exact right spot between his shoulder blades that always itched.

Their little apartment was slowly becoming a home, and for once, they could both imagine a future.

~*~

* * *

Despite the calm, Peggy held tight to the little glimmer of tangled hope and fear in her stomach, never sharing it, never talking about it. Peggy counted the days differently now. Three or five, Four or Four, Five or Three…

The morning of Six or Two was when she knew for sure. She sat on the toilet, looking at the red stain in the panties between her legs, and tried to decide what she felt more of: relief or grief.

What she felt was an odd emptiness, something she couldn’t grasp or understand. She tried to chase it, that feeling, tried to associate words with it but couldn’t. She tried to find out what it meant, sitting there, half naked on the toilet, but nothing came but the vague feelings swirling in her stomach.

It was when she felt a chill run up her spine and goosebumps on her thighs that she’d realized she’d been sitting for far too long, looking inside herself for an answer she’d likely never have. She took a steadying breath and pulled the bag from Rose out of the cabinet. She set herself to rights, avoiding thinking for the moment and letting her muscle memory take over.

She stared at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands. She wasn’t any different than she had been a few moments before, but she knew Steve would see to the core of her, see the thing she’d been holding away from him.

She tried to distract herself by thinking what she’d say to him. Thinking about how much she might have to explain and how much he might be interested in hearing. They were married now, so it wasn’t something either of them could avoid, and she didn’t suffer men who had no interest in how their wives bodies worked.

Peggy felt a moment of panic as her brain flashed her forward into the future and the past simultaneously, thinking about how her mother had barely managed to explain to Peggy what had been happening to her during puberty and that one day, far sooner than she’d want it to be, Peggy would be explaining the very same things to the little lady that had so quickly become her world. How could she do it? How could she do better than her own mother? There were so many questions she had, not just about that conversation, but about rules and punishments and dear lord what was she going to do if Mandy was as rambunctious and stubborn as Peggy herself had been as a child?

Peggy turned away from the mirror, trying to pull herself out of the spiral of doubt. She set her shoulders and slipped out of the small bathroom. The apartment was small, and as soon as she stepped out of the bathroom she was in the living space, Mandy sleeping on the floor on the quilt, Steve sitting above her on the couch, reading a book.

“I didn’t want to move her,” he said softly, putting his novel on his knee with the page still open.

Peggy shrugged, taking the long way around the quilt and coffee table to sit next to Steve. “Next time, I’ll be cross with you. For now, a nap is a nap.” Peggy sat at the other end of the couch, but Steve had other plans. He set his novel on the table and turned sideways, holding out his arms and sliding one leg along the cushions at the back of the couch. Peggy hummed at him, eyes narrowed, but moved into his embrace without question, pressing her back to his chest and letting him hold her tight. It felt good to be wrapped in his arms, to have him behind and around her.

Steve kissed the side of her neck gently before laying his chin on her shoulder. “Want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Peggy melted in his arms, almost relieved that he’d brought it up and she didn’t have to find a way to start the conversation. She still didn’t know, what, exactly, she wanted to say, though. “I…” She sighed, pulling his arms around her tightly. It was somehow easier that she didn’t have to look him in the eyes. “I have my monthly.”

She braced herself, worried that maybe he’d push her away or be disgusted.

He did neither, though, only took a deep breath and stammered a bit, “Oh, okay.” She didn’t know how to continue, so she didn’t, and instead Steve managed to fill he silence. “Do you… do you need anything?”

She smiled at the insecurity in his tone. “No, I’m well supplied with necessities at the moment.”

“The mysterious bag Rose dropped off the other day?”

“Yes.”

“Ah.” She could feel him nodding his head next to her, and his hands were desperately trying not to fidget in hers.

Peggy wasn’t actually all that ready to give a lecture on how the female body worked, but she did need him to understand _something_ about how she felt right now. “You see,” she started, still grateful that she could concentrate on the apartment door instead of looking in his eyes, “I was being completely irrational and I thought, just for a little bit, that there was a chance that I might have been pregnant.”

“Oh.” His voice was soft, and surprised, and a little guilty. “We weren’t very… we didn’t… not for a couple of times there.”

She appreciated how he took ownership with her, how he didn’t blame her or lay the responsibility solely at her feet. “No, no we were both a bit… preoccupied.”

“We’ve been better, though,” he supplied, confident.

Her own mind drifted to the dalliances through the apartment she knew he was also thinking of to the little tin box she’s noticed he keeps in his pants pocket nearly all the time now. “We have,” she squeezed his hand, “but it only takes one.”

They were quiet for a moment, and Peggy felt a weight lifted off her. He wasn’t disgusted, hadn’t pushed her away, and the feeling of his arms around her is the only thing she really needed in this moment.

He turned his head down, pressing his lips to her shoulder and thinking so hard she could almost hear it. “Were you…” he paused, thinking before he started again. “Were you sad when you got… when you realized you weren’t…”

He left the question hanging, attempting to talk about something she’s sure is turning his skin a bright red color all the way up to his ears. He’s never shied away from the hard conversations, but it doesn’t mean he likes them, or is even any good at them.

“I don’t know,” Peggy answered honestly, turning her head to look at him. “It’s an awfully inconvenient time to turn up pregnant, don’t you think?”

“True,” Steve let his forehead rest on hers, pecking a kiss to her cheek. “We can barely handle one.”

Peggy bit her lip, searching his eyes. “But two might be nice one day, don’t you think?”

He lifted his hand to cradle her cheek gently. He kissed her softly, the smile on his lips making her turn up the corners of her mouth as he pulled away. “Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as promised, I can reveal that Chapter 1 of Baby Steps happens sometime after this chapter. I will be editing Baby Steps Headers to make sure you can figure out where they all fall.


	25. Epilogue: Nobody's Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight years later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this story back in July for Steggy Week. I had NO idea that it would be more than 2-3 chapters. No idea that it would garner so much attention, and NOT A SINGLE CLUE that it would manage to keep me floating when I had some really, really rough weeks and felt like I was drowning. I owe a lot to this story, least of all the amazing people I’ve talked to because of it. Participating in Steggy Week was a last ditch effort to get me writing again and to get back into a hobby that I knew could help me while RL was not in any good shape. I am amazed both by myself for managing to write this, and by all of you. Thank you, Thank you, thank you. I just... I can't. Thank you all so much for all the love and support. I love this story so much. I've been writing it for 6 months now, and I just... Thank you. Thank you all. I hope you enjoy this.

Peggy stood on the small porch, hands on her rotund belly. “Steve?” She called out, knowing he was somewhere in the yard.

He popped his bearded head out of the shed, grease across his cheek. “Yeah?”

She pressed a hand into her low back, trying to relieve the ache. “How long will you be?”

He walked toward her, smiling. “Can’t get the mower started. I think I’ve almost got it figured out, though.” He pulled a rag from his shoulder and wiped his hands, moving over to lean on the rail and look up at her. “How are you feeling?”

“Large,” Peggy replied, letting her hand comb through Steve’s sweaty hair. “But we’re fine.” She smiled, “Dinner’s almost ready.”

Steve looked around. Their yard wasn’t big, but they didn’t have a fence and the neighborhood children tended to swarm through the backyards as they played. “Where’s Mandy?”

“Off with Jessica, I think.” Peggy held her hand over her eyes and then pointed to the tree house two lots over. “See?”

Steve was too low to see their heads through the window of the tree house, but he trusted Peggy did. She was only eight, but she had somehow inherited both of their fierce independent streaks. “Should I get her?”

“Not just yet. I’ve had no alone time with you yet today.” Peggy smiled and tried to lean over, intent on kissing her husband, but unable to make her belly curve over the rail. She leaned back, a frown across her face. “No, mark that on the list of things I can no longer do. You’ll have to come to me, I’m afraid.”

Steve smiled, knowing how hard it was for Peggy to lose her agility, and vaulted himself over the rail and next to her.

She rolled her eyes, but kissed him anyway. “Show off.”

~*~

* * *

Mandy took another flower from the pile in front of her and added it to the chain she was creating. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” Jessica said, adding another flower to her own chain and trying to connect the ends to make a crown. “But he said during recess that unless your parents are somebody you don’t count.”

Mandy looked at her chain and decided it wasn’t long enough yet. She picked up another flower and threaded the stem. “Everybody’s parents are somebody. I’m somebody, you’re somebody.”

Jessica checked each little connection in her chain. “But he meant more like, famous, I think.”

Mandy shook her head, her long brown hair curling down her back. “He’s just trying to show off because his Dad is running for town council.”

Jessica put the flower crown on her head and threaded her blonde braid over the bottom edge. “So, maybe that’s what he means. Like- your parents should be important.” She twirled the end of her hair through her fingers. “I mean, my Dad’s a banker and my Mom is on the PTA. That’s pretty important, right?”

Mandy huffed out a laugh. “Then my parents are nobodies.” She connected the ends of her chain and deemed it done. “My Mom works at the phone company and my Dad just sits in the basement and writes.” Mandy smiled up at Jessica. “I think I like it that way.”

Jessica laid on her stomach, picking a small ladybug from the pile of flowers and letting it walk along her fingers. “You’re not mad that they’re not important?”

Mandy stood, wrapping the crown that was far too large for her head around her arm. “Nope. Means they have more time for me.” She stood, heading towards the ladder and waving. “I gotta go. Dinner is soon.”

~*~

* * *

Steve saw her climb down the treehouse ladder over Peggy’s shoulder. “Here comes trouble,” he murmured into her neck, kissing the flesh there gently.

“You’re trouble.” Peggy pushed him away, grabbing his hand instead to keep him close. She grabbed the rag from his shoulder with her free hand and wiped the grease away. “Please stop trying to fix it and just ask Howard.”

Steve nodded. “I will when he comes over this weekend. After we talk about the allocation for the new SHIELD headquarters. He wants to build a new building instead of using existing SSR headquarters.”

Peggy tossed the rag over her own shoulder, lips pursing. “Why in the bloody hell would he do that?”

Steve frowned. “He didn’t tell you?”

Peggy put her hands on her lower back and waddled away to lean back on the porch railing, “No. I haven’t been in the office in weeks. What could he be thinking?”

Steve just shook his head. “I don’t know. But we’re almost finished with the new protocols.”

Peggy leaned back and smiled. “Mandy’s convinced you’re writing the baby bedtime stories down there, you know.”

Steve stepped to her, leaning his hands on the rail and trapping her in his arms. “Bedtime stories?”

Peggy kissed his nose. “Can’t very well tell her you’re working on creating the protocols for a new intelligence agency, can I?” She leaned forward, letting her lips meet his smile.

“Eaw, stop kissing!” Mandy announced her presence loudly as she bounced up the stairs.

Steve raised his eyebrows. “More kissing?” He loudly smacked a kiss on Peggy’s lips before he lifted Mandy off her feet and kissed her cheek.

“No, less, Dad!” Mandy squirmed half-heartedly in his arms. She still craved their attention, but was fighting to become her own person.

He shifted her to his hip, reminiscent of when he’d held her so long ago. “How was Jessica?”

“She’s good.” Mandy held out her arm. “I made this for Mom and the baby.” Steve let her down and she moved over to Peggy, draping the dandelion crown around her belly.

“That’s very sweet,” Peggy let her hand smooth over Mandy’s hair, pushing down the wild fly-aways that came with rambunctious childhood. “The baby says thank you.”

Mandy smiled, then stopped, a frown taking over her face. “Everyone is someone, right?”

Peggy looked at Steve, her hand still running over Mandy’s hair. “Yes, of course. Why?”

She leaned into Peggy’s side, “But are some people more important than other people?”

“Well,” Steve started, letting his hand run through his beard. “You could argue that the President is more important than say… a garbage man. But that’s only if you don’t have too much garbage. If you need your garbage picked up, the garbage man is more important.” He crouched down, catching her slightly worried eyes. “Why?”

“Is Uncle Howard somebody?”

Peggy laughed, “Oh, Uncle Howard is somebody alright.” Steve shot her a look and she held her hand up. “Uncle Howard has lots of money because he has a successful business. Some people think that means he’s important. A somebody.”

Steve reached out, taking her hand. “Why the questions about this?”

She shrugged. “A kid in school said that if you aren’t somebody, you’re nobody.”

Steve squeezed her hand. “Well, do you think that’s true?”

She shrugged, afraid to commit. “I mean, we’re nobody, right? Nobody thinks we’re important. But I’m happy, so isn’t that good?”

Peggy caught Steve’s eyes over Mandy’s head. They’d talked so often when she was very young, wondering when the day would come that they’d have to tell her the truth. They watched her grow, her size and strength just always being slightly better than that of her peers. She was smart, and fast, and at eight she was starting to notice just how much better at things she was than other people.

The other kids were starting to notice, too.

Steve looked down, finding Mandy’s eyes again, a truth on his lips. “That you’re happy is the _only_ thing your mother and I have _ever_ been concerned with.”

Peggy turned her, tucking her hair behind her ear so she could look in her eyes. “You’re not nobody, though. You’re our baby. You’re our special girl and you’ll always be somebody. Always.” Peggy wrapped her arms around the girl, even with her belly in the way.

“But I kinda like being a nobody,” Mandy rebutted, even though she was holding tight to Peggy. “People know who Uncle Howard is and they stop and talk to him when we go out together. No one stops us, no one tries to take pictures of us for the paper. We just get to live at home and go out and do fun stuff and sometimes you go to the phone company and Dad writes in the basement.”

Steve looked up at Peggy, smiling softly as he rubbed Mandy’s back. “Yeah, I guess being a nobody is pretty good, huh?”

Peggy tapped Mandy on the shoulder and dropped a kiss on her head. “Wash up, please? The flowers are lovely but your hands are filthy and dinner is almost ready.”

Mandy bounced away as Steve stood, not nearly as affected as Peggy and Steve after the conversation. Peggy leaned into his side as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “We’re going to have another one of those in another month or so.”

Steve shrugged. “We’re still not outnumbered.”

Peggy rubbed her belly, looking up at Steve, her lips pursed tight. “If this one is anything like her we absolutely are.”

“Hey,” Steve set his free hand on her belly, rubbing gently, “at least she’s happy with what we have.”

Peggy hummed in agreement. “How do you think she’ll take it when we have to eventually tell her she’s the child of the most famous somebody of the Second World War?’

Steve shrugged, lifting the flowers from around Peggy’s belly as they were already starting to attract bees, and laid them on the rail. “Who knows. Some days I think she’ll love it, some days she’ll hate it.”

Peggy looked at him, serious. “I still say we make Howard tell her.”

Without a word Steve scooped Peggy off her feet and into his arms. “Dugan will make it more fun.”

Steve kissed her cheek and moved toward the door. She protested even as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “You know I can walk. I’m pregnant, not an invalid.”

“Been on your feet too long,” he argued, waiting for her to grab the handle of the door. As soon as she swung it open he propped it with his back and lifted her over the threshold. He set her down gently and took her cheek in his hand. “I need to take better care of you.”

She hummed as he kissed her softly, the door closing behind them. “You do, Steve. You take very good care of us all.”

He smiled. “I guess we’re doing pretty good for a couple of nobodies, then.”


End file.
